Part of the Wibblyverse Continuity.
Part one of Classic Doctor Whooves Adventures
Part one of Ninth Doctor Whooves Adventures
Previous Story: The Rising Night
Next Story: Fall of the Doctor
The Doctor, embittered and sorrowful after the end of the Time War, lands in Equestria. Celestia, sick and tired of her nephew's snotty behavior, walks through her garden, hoping for inspiration to strike. Thus begins the odd partnership of the Doctor and Prince Blueblood as they investigate a spate of murders in Canterlot that may be connected to a mining disaster.
Death and violence tags for above murders and mining disaster.
Chapters (19)
This is a good first chapter for this story, and it establishes the character of the Ninth Doctor well: that wonderful "Lots of planets 'ave a norff!" cheekiness that helped sell Christopher Eccleston as the Doctor. It needs a little more on the mystery he'll be facing, and the character of Blueblood -- I have some thoughts on this in the comments below.
- I like how you set this up as a follow-on to "The Best Night Ever"; it feels like a direct continuation from the episode. The interaction with Shining Armor does a good job of establishing what Celestia knows about Cadance's relationship with him.
- One suggestion on how you present the Doctor: coming straight off the Time War and the events of "Rose" like this, there should be much more of a shadow behind the Doctor's happy-go-lucky exterior; he should be more haunted by recent events when they come up. You're got the "up" side of the Ninth Doctor down perfectly, so when he shows his "down" side it should visibly hurt a bit more.
- This chapter should at least touch on the mystery that Celestia is ultimately going to ask the Doctor and Blueblood to investigate, to help draw the reader in. Suggestion: perhaps one reason Celestia doesn't mind all the mayhem of the Gala is because it took her mind off this problem.
- Having Celestia thinking about the Doctor just before he shows up again is a *bit* of a coincidence. Suggestion: maybe delay mentioning the Doctor until Celestia is wishing on the stars, which is a more natural prompt for the memory.
- We should see a bit more of Blueblood in this first chapter, just to establish his character, and so the reader has a hint of what Celestia is setting the Doctor up for. Even though we've seen Blueblood in "The Best Night Ever", it helps to see your take on him early on, just to establish where he starts in this story.
- It's going to be a challenge selling Blueblood as a "companion" character, so congrats in advance for taking that on. To be honest, seeing him listed as a primary character was a bit of a turn-off, but I'm also curious about how a pony like him is going to react to and interact with the Doctor, so you should establish that interaction between them early on, to provide another "hook" for the story. And ideally, the story should reveal something unexpected about Blueblood, without cheapening or explaining away his self-centered nature. (You probably have some ideas along these lines, so I'm just noting that it's important to play your cards early here.)
- These lines are spot on for the Ninth Doctor. I can just hear him saying "An-ti-plas-tic!"
- This is a nice Celestia grace-note, and gets across how she feels about Sunset well.
I've always appreciated Christopher Eccleston for helping sell the character of the Doctor in the new series of the show, so it's great to see a story based on his take on the character. I'm looking forward to seeing where this goes!
(BTW: If you'd prefer, I can send you my feedback as a PM instead. Just let me know!)
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Thank you so much! I'm glad you enjoyed the story. Nine was my first Doctor, and that incarnation will always hold a special place in my heart. I'm quite touched that you found my depiction of him realistic. The next chapter will be more centered around Blueblood. The main problem and the Doctor's inner darkness will be somewhat delayed-- this wound up being a fairly lengthy story, and I had to space things out to get the pacing right. I'm really quite excited about this story-- I don't believe Blueblood has ever been written as a companion before, and I made certain to set him up with the Doctor most opposite to him in terms of personality. I hope you'll keep reading and enjoy the rest of the story. As for the feedback, I do tend to prefer the comments section, if only to have all the related criticism gathered in one place.
All the best,
6&7
This should be interesting.
How is it that not more people are reading this story? Have you tried putting it in other groups?
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Thank you! It's nice to know that you think so highly of this story. I've put it in about ten groups thus far, but I don't know where else it would really fit.
Personification of face-hooving is glorious! I ship it!
Good story, please continue!
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Thanks! We're nearing the end of this particular yarn, but there's plenty more where this came from. I'm so glad you're enjoying it.
(((bouncy)))
Yes, well. Desperate times and desperate measures.
Indeed, how would one even begin to fill out the paperwork?
Dude.
You have managed to make Blueblood completely sympathetic and respectable without altering his personality one whit.
My hat’s off to you.
This is now my OTP.
*sigh* No, of course you aren’t. You never are.
Brilliant tale, as always. Very much looking forward to the next installment.
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Thanks. Of all the show's minor antagonists, I really do think he gets a lot of undeserved hatred relative to his crimes, compared to, e.g., Suri Polomare or the Flimflam Brothers. But that's an essay for a different location. Every villain is the protagonist of their own tale, after all.
This was marvelous. And oh, what a wonderful Blueblood on the slow road to redemption.
I can hardly wait forScales and Arpeggios.
The grey ponylike thing in the cover art is a Weeping Angel, right?
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Nope! They're a new, completely different foe.
Once again, great job on the continuity. It reminds us what happened and when it is, while also not seeming out of place.
So Celestia was restricted to blowing up small castles because of the Doctor...
Blueblood will probably not come out of this the same, but he probably will do what he's good for Celestia, or to save their lives. I can wait, but don't want to wait for Blueblood to be instructed to do something odd.
The Doctor did a good job keeping Blueblood under control and preventing him from making demands with his title. If he didn't show Blueblood that his title doesn't matter to him...
That escalated quickly. It has similarities to the nightmare, but if it is, it changed.
Oh no...
This will be interesting. How I'd do it is sing, then rush out when they try to gag me, assuming that happens. Of course, this is the Doctor. Who knows?
Hiding in plain sight?
Fight bacteria with bacteria products. He needs some penicillin.
Great job on the gargoyles as well. We know what they look like and what they can do, but we still want to figure out who is also one, and why they are what they are.
Probably going after the other gargoyles. Nice to see them sticking around while cleanup is being done.
'the'
Garden gnomes?
These goblins are going to hit carrying capacity very quickly.
A overly dramatic and suspenseful execution is only as strong as the weakest fiber group. Loving it!
This raises a concerning possibility: It's not that Pinkie Pie ignores physics. Rather, she is physics, and just gives herself special dispensation.
The Herald hasn't been the same since Night Vale became society editor.
No, no, that's a completely different Blueblood.
Magnificent work. I always enjoy a good Blueblood redemption, and this is a fantastic way to begin one. To say nothing of what it's doing for the Doctor. (That said, if it takes too long, he may run into himself.) On to the next story!
Okay, this is surprisingly good.
To my mind, she got treated like a gold digging skank because she behaved like a gold digging skank
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Having mastered being "one with the night", he went on to become "two with the night"
Woody Allen (paraphrased)
More references! I got... most of them, I'm pretty sure there was a reference to Sam Jones in there (of course, that's out of my wheelhouse so I could be mistaken), and, of course, the many conflicting lifes of Peri (you could say it's a Peridox, if you were so inclined) But then again, in Doctor Who you can count yourself lucky to have a definitive fate. Most companions get at least two conflicting end points, thanks to, well, that thing you could loosely call "continuity" if you squint.
Minor... possible continuity error? It's called GUIDE in this story (I assume it's the local UNIT equivalent), but back in Allons-y!, when Rapid Rounds was preivously mentioned, the Third Doctor is said to be the scientific advisor to EQUIA. Did they change their name? Are they seperate organizations? Is it an error? Am I thinking too much about continuity? (That one is a definite yes)
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It is indeed an error. It was originally supposed to be EQUIA, but a combination of early-installment weirdness and forgetting what the acronym was meant to stand for lead to me changing it. Thanks for the catch!
For all I know they could be in the era where Princess Twilight rules with the friendship hoof. What Blueblood knows with his limited knowledge hardly applies.
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They're only like a year ahead. So, theoretically, anything could have happened, but Blueblood's information should still be fairly accurate.
Well, he clearly left one, or two, or a few dozen of them alive and kicking.
I mean....
Doc can be a jerk sometimes, but I'm not sure he deserves this.
Is that a Sailor Moon reference I spot? Nice.
Oh goodness.
Ok, that's fair.
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to be fair that's in character for 9