• Published 8th Dec 2018
  • 271 Views, 31 Comments

Black and Blue and Bloodied - Sixes_And_Sevens

Celestia, sick of her nephew's bad behavior, sends him on an adventure with the ninth Doctor. Together, they investigate a series of murders connected to a mining disaster-- or they will if they can stop arguing.

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Last Blood

The rest of the scurry through the maze was a blur to the prince, all one long green corridor of twists, turns, and occasional attempted murder. By the time he stumbled out of the labyrinthine hedges, his coat was soaked with sweat, his mane plastered against his forehead. Nevertheless, he was out. Flickering on poles around the park were lanterns, glowing like miniature suns. Which, in a sense, they were.

He just had to grab them down…

Unfortunately, they were all suspended on rather tall poles. Even if he had the energy to try, Blueblood very much doubted he could jump high enough to knock them down. He might try simply shaking the poles, but that would dash the lanterns to the ground, breaking them and releasing the energy into the night. The only way to get them down would be some kind of ladder.

Or magic.


Blueblood glanced around. No Fancy Pants in sight, but Fleur was by the punch table. Any port in a storm, the prince supposed, even if you think that port might secretly be a murderer.

Quietly, he sidled over to the leggy mare. “Fleur,” he murmured. “I require some assistance.”

She raised a discreet eyebrow. “Ze Doctor?” she whispered back.

“I’m not even going to ask how you knew that. Yes. There are goblins in the hedge maze. They crumble in the face of direct ultraviolet radiation. Could you levitate me down some lanterns?”

Fleur considered. “Monsieur Blueblood, how is your skill as an actor?”

“Not terrible.”

“Good. It must be, euh, ca se fait. Play along.” She cleared her throat. Then, without warning, she slapped him across the face. Hard. “‘Ow dare you!” she shouted. “I am a married mare!”

Blueblood blinked. What on Gaea— She hurled a lantern at him, and it crashed to the ground. He leapt back in shock. “I say, steady on,” he sputtered, but Fleur was not listening. Another lantern smashed at his forehooves.

“Run,” the model hissed through gritted teeth. “Fancy and I will follow, with lanterns.”

Blueblood hesitated but a moment, then turned tail and made for the maze. He halted just beyond the first juncture, waiting with bated breath for the mare and her husband to catch up.

Three minutes later, true to their word, the duo raced into the hedges, toting lanterns in their auras. Fancy Pants smiled at the prince. “Never a dull moment, eh, old colt?”

“Fancee. Not the time, not the place.”

“Oh, quite, quite,” the monocled knight agreed with a nod. “Fear not, my good prince. GUIDE is here to help.”

“A guide?” Blueblood asked, confused. “Well… good, I suppose. We’ll likely need one if we’re to find the Doctor.”

“No, GUIDE. Ze Gaean Unified Agency of Investigation, Defense, and Espionage. You recall not?”

Blueblood stared. “You really wanted to make that spell ‘GUIDE,’ didn’t you.”

“You mean you don’t—” Fancy broke off. “Time travel, of course. We haven't told you yet!”

“Er, what?”

“Nonlinearity,” Fleur said shortly. “Ask ze Doctor. Come, we must hurry.”

And thus, a very confused but largely relieved Blueblood followed the strange couple deeper and deeper into the hedge maze, once more daring to venture into the territory of the goblins.


The Doctor had been running for most of his life, both metaphorically and literally. Usually literally. Nevertheless, even he couldn’t run forever. Especially not literally. Running through a maze, constantly on the lookout against violent bloody death… well, it wore a bit on the nerves. And sooner or later, he was going to run out of shrubbery. “C’mon, Blueblood,” he growled. “I don’t want t’ regenerate. I jus’ got this body!”

A claw scythed toward his head. If his mane had been any longer, he would’ve gotten a new buzz cut. “Glad I’m not a unicorn this time ‘round.”

He narrowly avoided a pointed stone wing that tried to gash his side. “Pegasus would’ve been good, though!” he gasped, struggling to keep his balance.

“Doctor!” he heard a faint voice cry. “Doctor, lead them this way!”

Where had that come from? His right? “Doctor!” Right. He did a hairpin turn around the next corner and galloped toward the source of the voice. “Doctor, I’m over here!”

The Time Lord’s legs worked like pistons, sweat trickling down his face, his breath coming in short pants. Over a talon, under a claw, smack that stone head in, dodge, jump, run, run, run.


Turn left.

“Over here!”

Go straight.

“Come on!”


“I’m right here!”

Through the hedges… Oh. Geld.

The large goblin grinned malevolently at the Doctor. The scattered remains of the pony-goblins that had turned against their creator were strewn around the beast. The Doctor glanced back. Two pony-goblins blocked his path back. “I see they didn’t all turn on you.”

“No. Some were far enough away to keep from hearing your trickery. The ‘hive mind’ as you so crudely put it, is strictly one-way.”

The Doctor scowled. “So what. You going to kill me now, or play with me some more?”

The gargoyle’s eyes glinted with green fire. He raised a claw, and…


A fireball erupted on the outstretched talon. Behind the Doctor, the two former miners shrieked and clutched at their eyes, visibly paler and more cracked. The large goblin whirled around. “Who goes there?”

Blueblood stepped out of the shadows, followed by Fancy Pants and Fleur de Lis. “You know, shouting is a very ineffective way of communicating something you wish to remain secret,” he said pleasantly. “It made it very easy to find you.”

The goblin charged them, but another fireball to the face sent it sprawling. The smaller goblins shrieked once more and dissolved into gravel.

The large goblin staggered to its feet. “Destroy you,” it promised.

“Hm,” Blueblood said, holding a hoof to his chin in mock consideration. “Much as I appreciate the offer, old sport, I’m afraid I’m going to have to decline. Fancy? Fleur? Give him all you’ve got.”

The two unicorns lobbed their remaining lanterns at the beast. Four fireballs exploded across its stony flesh in quick succession. It did not crumble as the others did. Instead, it just… stopped. The green in its eyes flickered out. Mistaking it for a statue would have been a reasonably easy error to make. The Doctor reached out a hoof and pushed at the stone. “Stuck,” he said. “Doubt he’ll be makin’ any more trouble.” His tone was flat, uncertain whether he should feel sorrow or satisfaction. “Like trolls. They turn to stone in direct sunlight, so th’ stories say,” he said quietly. He stood there for a long moment, gazing up at the fantastic creature.

Fleur cleared her throat. “Doctor?” she asked. “You are well?”

The Time Lord glanced up. “Sorry? 'Ang about-- Fleur-de-Lis! And Fancy Pants!" He broke into a grin. "Been awhile, innit?"

"Longer from your perspective, it seems," Fancy said with a wry smile.

Fleur elbowed him rather sharply. "No spoilers," she hissed.

"Well well," the Doctor said. "Fancy and Fleur. Good to see the old guard's still around. How's ol' Rapid Rounds, then?"

“Took an arrow to the knee,” Fancy said, shaking his head sadly.

“Never invited me to the wedding,” the green stallion said, frowning.

“No, no. He literally took an arrow to the knee. He’s got a severe limp now, and with his age… Well, he thought it best to retire. Fleur and I are in charge of GUIDE these days."

“Ah,” the Doctor said, nodding. “Couldn't have happened to a better pair. Well, I trust your lot can clean all this up again?”

Fancy glanced around. “If this is the worst of the damages, I’m certain of it.”

“There was a fountain broken as well,” the Doctor replied.

“And there’s a corpse on the TARDIS roof,” Blueblood added.

The Doctor turned to the prince in horror. “You what?”

“It’s hardly my fault one of them hid up there,” the unicorn protested.

Fancy looked at Fleur. Fleur looked at Fancy. The mustachioed unicorn sighed. “As though helping Rarity navigate the upper classes wasn’t hard enough,” he grumbled. “All right, I’ll deal with it…”

Blueblood stopped. “Wait. You’re the reason that mare has been everywhere in Canterlot society? It was your doing?”

Fancy nodded, smiling brilliantly. “Oh, yes. Bright as a new bit, she is, and not half charming. Element of Generosity, you know.”

Blueblood took in a deep breath and launched once more into his tirade about the bloody, dreadful, awful time he’d had at the Gala. The Doctor rolled his eyes. Fleur sidled up to him. “So,” she murmured. “What do you think?”

The Doctor cocked his head, examining the prince. “Not irredeemable,” he said at length. “It’ll take some work, mind, but we’ll get there in the end.” He nodded. “We’ll get there in the end.”

From the shadows in the shrubbery, unseen by the assembled, a pair of eyes watched. The game was begun.

Author's Note:

Next Time, on Doctor Whooves

Fall of the Doctor

“Ready for takeoff?” the Doctor asked, grinning broadly at his passengers.
“This is going to be SO COOL,” Scootaloo enthused.
“Ah can’t wait t’ see what it’s like t’ fly,” Apple Bloom agreed.

Ditzy frowned. “What do you mean, ‘acting up’?”
Dash shrugged. “Dunno. The clouds’ve just been harder to corral than usual. Nothing weird.”

“What in the world?” the Doctor muttered, staring at the screen. “That’s not right.”

The storm raged over Timbucktoo, the pounding winds causing the towering skyscrapers to sway dangerously.

The Doctor tried to scream as he plummeted toward the ground, but all that came out was a terrified croak, his vocal cords as frozen as the rest of him.

“H’yah!” Button cried, racing toward the center of the roaring storm, which reached out with tendrils of cloud to envelop him and everypony else.

Next Time on Doctor Whooves: Ninth Doctor Adventures

Scales and Arpeggios

"Well, since I didn't really get a say in our last destination, I'd rather like to choose this one."

"A concert you wanted, a concert you'll get. Welcome to Vienneigh, opening night of Beethoofen's Ninth."

A scream went up from the alleyway, followed by a burst of light and smoke.

The Doctor grimaced at the charred pile of bones. "Pony, right enough."
"But what could have done this, Herr Doctor?"

"Down here, even the slightest spark." He made an expressive gesture, grinning gleefully. "Boom!"

The Doctor looked on in horror and disgust as the stallion strode out into the middle of the street. "I am Bear Wolf!" he declared grandly. "Dragonslayer extraordinaire! I shall rid this city of the beast that plagues it!" He turned and winked. "And yes, gentlemen, I'm single."
Blueblood made a noise that sounded like a car alarm being eaten by a piglet. "Take me now," he whispered. "Take me now, you filthy proletariat..."

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Comments ( 3 )

This was marvelous. And oh, what a wonderful Blueblood on the slow road to redemption.

I can hardly wait forScales and Arpeggios.

The grey ponylike thing in the cover art is a Weeping Angel, right?

Nope! They're a new, completely different foe.

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