Twilight Gets a Puppy Season 1 Epilogue 2
Twilight Gets a Puppy
By TDR
Twilight Gets a Puppy
Season 1 Epilogue 2
Rock Hound
[Ponyville, 2 days after the Grand Galloping Gala]
Rahs stretched as a stiff breeze blew through the fur of his bare chest and back. His coat lay across a bench in the sparing grounds and he had emptied his pockets of the usual nick knacks, oddities and snacks that filled them, leaving the pile with the coat. Landing on an apple once during training was more than enough to make him clear out his pockets.
He spared a glance down at his arm, a number of white lines in his fur remained where the fur had grown up through the scar tissue left from his encounter a number of months ago. While the wounds hadn't caused any real issue or any bald spots, the encounter did cause him what Luna called nightmares for a while. The Princesses knew what happened in the tunnels as did Rarity, but none of them spoke of it nor did they tell Twilight. She really didn't need to know something like that and with that pack destroyed it wasn't likely to come up again.
He glanced around the small Guard outpost looking for Captain Comet Trail, the Thestral, or Nocturne, or Kirin, or whatever they were calling themselves now that Luna had come back, wasn't anywhere around.
His race had been a interesting thing to find out about. Like ponies, the primarily nocturnal, bat pony race had three tribes of their own, as well as a home land out in a set of islands called The Gallopagos in the Hooper sea. The main island was called Lionheart after the nations founder and hosted the main brunt of their race in vast underground cities.
Twilight ate the information up when she harassed Comet Trail the first few weeks he was here.
The Thestrals were the pegasus versions of the bat ponies. And were often what anyone thought when Princess Luna's ponies were mentioned, as they were the kind most likely to travel from their homeland.
The Kirin were the unicorn versions. They actually were more dragon like in appearance than bat, with many having patches of scales and more predator like teeth despite still being mostly fruit eaters.
The Nocturne were the earth pony variants and were supposed to be rather massive though they rarely left the island.
The overall name of the race was the Nox-cal, though they referred to themselves as ponies for the most part now. They had done that since the fall of the Lunar Republic when Luna was defeated after she turned against Celestia.
He was glad his sister had developed some sort of tact, because she was still chomping at the bit to learn about the whys and hows of the Equestrian Civil war.
At the moment Rahs wasn't concerned with any of that. The past, particularly something like that was the Princesses business, he only cared when conversations about Witch Wolves came up.
The Buffalo knew very little, Celestia claimed to know less, and Luna refused to say anything. Comet Trail had asked some scholars he knew back home, but all of their information of the Equestrian Civil war had been purged not long after their surrender.
The Moon Dog stretched again wondering where his instructor was. He felt he had come a good ways since he started losing a good bit of his body fat though he hadn't put on as much muscle as he liked, his body seemed to prefer remaining lithe and corded and some what lanky rather than bulky. His biggest problem was he still couldn't hit the speedy little instructor in their spars. The few hits he did manage were easily turned aside or blocked.
Comet Trail had mentioned doing something different today though Rahs didn't think what he was planning would be skipping out like this.
“Oh Good you're already here.” the thestral called out as he fluttered down to land with barely a sound near by.” You warmed up?”
Rahs frowned his ears flicking.
“Hey an instructor is never late, nor early, they arrive precisely at the right time to screw with their trainees.” Comet trail smirked.”Any way after a bit of conversation with some others in my unit I figured out what we're gonna do here. You've pretty much reached the limit of what I can teach you.”
“Woof?” Rahs questioned.
“Calm down , I'm still gonna oversee your training and offer pointers. But it's like this. There's three types of fighter. A striker, which covers most pegasi. Get in get out hit and don't get hit. You don't have wings, and you're slow as dirt, so you suck at that already.”
Rahs growled.
“A brute which is the sort to take punishment and deal it out, usually falls to earth pony types. You have the makings of something like that, but I doubt you grandmother wants you to be the damage sponge you would need to be for that, Also you don't have the body type for the amount of armor you would need to wear to make that work.”
Rahs considered pointing out he tended to heal from most injuries rather quickly so long as he had a supply of magic, but tanking didn't sound like fun.
“Then there's a caster, which you aren’t...... like at all, you're like an anti caster. I've seen rocks with more spell ability than you.”
Rahs rolled his eyes crossing his arms over his chest as he glared down at the stallion his ears flicking and demanding that Comet get to the point.
“Point is Rahs that pony training isn't going to do you much good beyond the basics. So I had to figure something else out. And that's when it hit me, you fight like a Griffon. With claws and fangs rather than beak, but still. Problem is most Griffons are strikers. However after a bit of searching and a talk with Miss Rarity I found a trainer that would be able to play to your strengths and teach you something that blends striker with brute. Now I know I simplified the whole thing with only giving you three very basic types of combatant, but whatever you're here for training, not a history of fighting.”
Rahs frowned as he wondered what Rarity had to do with any of this. The mare was still aggravated at Spike, but why would Comet Trail need to talk with her? Unless he was flirting with her too, which was possible. He doubted there was a single mare in town who hadn't been flirted with by the thestral.
His ears perked as Rahs heard something before catching a scent that was growing stronger. His ears flattened to his head as he growled, though before he could bring it up a hole opened in the ground at the edge of the training ground. A pair of armored Diamond Dogs burst out of the ground landing on either side of the hole scanning the area as if looking for a threat.
Rahs growled taking a step back though Comet Trail seemed unphased.
“Ah here they are.” The stallion offered getting a confused look from Rahs. “Relax, they're from the other pack nearby, the ones that didn't come after you. Ponyville has fairly good relations with the Wolf Fang.”
A moment later a smaller older female Diamond Dog clamored out of the hole with a bundled calico faced pup under one arm. She looked over at Rahs and winced before barking something at the two guards who eased up their stance.
“I suppose that's one way to make it here without causing panic in town.” Comet shrugged.” Gonna have to explain the new hole to the grounds keeper though.”
“My apologies if this was not suitable, but you asked us to be discrete in our arrival.” Another voice sounded and a fourth female figure climbed out of the hole. “ I am simply glad we did not over shoot and wind up in some pony’s basement …. again.”
One of the guards flinched
The female diamond dog was big, while he had seen others larger when he was captured he had not seen a female this large. Her fur was jet black and her long white hair was pulled into three long braids that spilled down her back. She wore a simple pair of shorts that did little to hide the tone form of her hips and rump nor the fact that she moved without any wasted energy as if every step and shift of her form conveyed strength. Her chest was also rather sizable, rivaling Rarity's huge..... tracts of land, when she had been a cursed. The vest that covered her looked as if it might burst if she breathed in to hard, but the material seemed to stretch easily showing it was stronger than it looked.
Rahs was unsure if he was disappointed in that or not.
The female's tail wagged lightly behind her as her ice blue eyes locked on Rahs, while she didn't tower over him, she was definitely bigger and he inched her out only by the points of his ears compared to her more wolf like ones.
“Ah you must be the trainee.”the female smirked. “ My Name is Jynx, I am your new instructor, we are going to be spending quite a bit of time together.”
Rahs just whined.
Cadence skipped into her quarters leaving the Guards at the door as she hummed to herself. This last few days had been perfect..... Engaged to Shiny, her first gala completed, and she had managed to pair up one of her Guards to one of Celestia's on the walk back from the successful meeting with the ambassador from the harpy nation. Then there was the note from Spike about Twilight having a date, a note she kept from Shining of course.
And all that after a night that left Shiny nearly comatose on his day off , and had her trotting funny the first part of the morning.
Perfect.
And now her official day was over and she could take care of something she had been working on.
Looking around her room she let her horn glow lightly and a loud click sounded from behind the cold fireplace. The stone at the base of the hearth seemed to drop and slide down to form a set of stairs that Cadence quickly descended before flipping the switch in her magic and sealing the door again. The anti teleportation wards in this area of the castle kept out intruders and allowed Cadence to do what she needed.
Eight doors, four pass codes, a hoof print, an eye scan, and dozen keys later, she was in her secret lab in the mountain under Canterlot castle. The most secure location anywhere, there were more wards and locks on this room than any place else, including the royal vaults. No one could get in but her.
Which was of course why she screamed like a filly when she turned on the light and Princess Luna was sitting at the planning table eating cookies.
“What, wha, how, LUNA?!?” Cadence stammered.
“Hmmm?” Luna asked though a mouthful of cookies.
“How did you get in here?” Cadence demanded.
“Secret tunnel.”Luna explained.
“Secret tunnel?” Cadence questioned.
“Secret tunnel.” Luna confirmed.” Through the mountain.”
“Why...”Cadence stammered before stopping herself and glaring at the Goddess of Night, and more importantly the green box she was eating cookies out of. “Those had better not be my filly scout cookies.”
“They are not.” Luna explained.
“Oh good.....”
“Tia already stole and ate those thou had hidden behind the drop away bottom of thine 'joy chest' hidden under thine bed.” Luna explained.
“What!?” Cadence growled.
“S'truth.” Luna nodded.”These are her mints of thinness. Hence why we are here, hiding in thine secret room, if mine sister scrys the box, she shall see they are in thine possession and she hast no claim of revenge because she already stole thine cookies.”
Cadence raised an eyebrow at Luna, every time she thought she had the mare figured out some new depth of violence, sneakiness, or insane cunning appeared from her. It was something she wondered if any one other than Celestia realized.
“So what is this place?” Luna asked.
And just like that the cunning part of her seemed to go away.
“You broke in here and you don't know?”
“We were mostly focused on the mints of thinness. They are quite delectable.” Luna admitted.
“ Right any way this is where I do the work of love.” Cadence smirked glancing back as Luna looked down in clear disgust yanking the box off the table.
“We need to go have a bath... in a volcano......” Luna gagged.
“Not that kind of work!” Cadence shouted with a blush. “ Look.”
Cadence's horn glowed as a large pegboard was pulled over, the massive thing was quickly set down before them allowing Luna to look it over.
In the center of the board was Twilight Sparkle's cutie mark. Surrounding it were a number of other cutie marks including Prince Blueblood's. Strings of various colors radiated out from Twilight's mark to the other cutie marks and in some cases some of the other cutie marks had string connecting them too.
There were numerous reds and a few greens though only one bright pink and that one connected Twilight's cutie mark with one of a large green apple.
“Whoops wrong one.” Cadence muttered flipping the board to the other side.
[ Ponyville]
Spike stared at his sister with his eyes narrowed and his arms crossed.
“.....if you're not a pod pony then you have to be an evil twin from another dimension.” Spike concluded. “That's the only explanation for this.”
“For what?” Twilight questioned looking over the dresses she had and selecting one of her newer ones granted there were only the two. It was hard enough getting Rarity to make something simple for her without a hassle, and none of her older dresses fit her any more. According to her parents during her brief visit home a few weeks ago Twilight had bulked up considerably from when she was living in Canterlot. She really wasn't sure why as she didn't think she was any more active here than she had been at home.... then again she didn't have Tuesdays there like she did here.
“You're calm. And you have a date.” Spike accused. The little dragon was much more active in Ponyville than he had been at home though he hadn't lost a bit of his rotundness, but Twilight did note he was carrying around more books and could run with less wheezing, so there was something.
She wondered again if it had something to do with the Element of Magic. She had checked Spike, but she never could get a consistent reading on the Dragon. Not enough was known about them really. It was a study she needed to get into one day.
Not today though.
“So?” Twilight questioned wondering if she should put on makeup or at least some sort of lip gloss. She expected kissing and was debating if she wanted to leave her mark on Mac or not.
“Twilight I’ve seen you go on dozens of dates. I have YET to see you not have a minor freak out about going on one of those dates.” Spike accused. “ So what is it some sort of mind control?”
Twilight paused considering that. She was surprisingly calm, though this was really the first 'official date ' Big Mac had invited her on. The pair had hung out in the orchards a few times talking, despite his seemingly limited vocabulary Big Mac was highly intelligent. Granny had let slip that he had a invitation to try out for Celestia's school at one point before the, 'incident' with his parents had kept him on the farm.
The return of the applewood yolk that had been lost had the whole family bawling. While they had long been declared dead after they saved their foals by running them off to fight the attacking Diamond dogs, there had never been anything left to bury and given what Twilight had heard about what the Diamond Dogs used to do to ponies, none of them were under any illusion there would ever be any bodies to bury.
Though in regards to Big Mac, Granny had made some not so subtle comments about places Twilight could be buried where no one would ever find 'all' of her if she was just playing with Mac.
And just like that, asking Princess Luna about Witch Wolves dropped considerably in her terror factor.
“What are you processing your response?” Spike asked.” I get it, you're a robot.... that makes more sense. What have you done with my sister you tin jalopy!”
“Okay first, I really need to cut you back on your comic books.” Twilight sighed.
“Ooh good opening move.” Spike winced.”Credible threat.....”
“Secondly, while this might be the first date, Big mac and I have been hanging out for a few months now, this is just the first time there's been something of note nearby to go on a date too. Hoofington is holding a spring festival and Mac decided to invite me to go to it.”
“Right and I’m expected to believe the real Twilight would go to a completely new town for an over night date.”
“While I’m not going to argue an overnight date sounds fantastic....” Twilight paused, glancing down at her younger brother.....” for stargazing......Hoofington is barely a thirty minute train ride away. We'll be back later this evening.”
“Still doesn't sound like a real place.” Spike humphed.
[ The Love Lab]
The other side of the board was much the same, though in the middle of the board was a navy blue paw print. Strings shot out everywhere, crisscrossing the board connecting to other cutie marks with various colors.
“ Ehh?” Cadence grinned gesturing at it with a wing.
“What is it?” Luna tilted her head not seeing any sort of reference to what the strings might mean.
“It's a relationship flow chart.” Cadence rolled her eyes. “The other one was for Twilight , this one is for Rahs.”
Luna's ears perked up at that.” Ahh and what do the strings mean?”
“It's dependent on color and what I felt when I talked to those interested in them.” Cadence explained. “See green means there could be a relationship if something drastic happens. Blue is if they are just friends and nothings going to come of it. Red , which Rahs only has the one for, means they are completely incompatible and likely would kill each other.”
“Twilight had a great deal of red string......” Luna noted.
Cadence pointed a wing to where a green string ran to a trio of blue diamonds and then to a blue string where it ran to a cloud with a rainbow colored lightning bolt.
“Drastic?” Luna considered looking at the color.
“Yes, in this particular case Rarity would either have to change nearly completely or get stuck as a Diamond Dog forever. I don't think anything else would work out for them. “ Cadence explained.
“It could happen..” Luna offered darkly and Cadence shook her head.
“No, no, last resort thing, she's not really right for him any way.” Cadence frowned. “It would wind up a loveless political marriage at the end. Rahs would think she was hot, but she just wants a prince. That's not love.”
Cadence pointed to the blue line.
“This one with Rainbow Dash is never going to change. Rahs isn't interested in her that way and despite what she says, and acts like Dash isn't as promiscuous as a normal pegasi. Trust me I know about that one.” Cadence grinned having once been just a pegasus.
“We shall take thine word for it.”Luna smirked.” What of the ones with two colors?”
Cadence looked back to where a black paw print was connected to the blue one with two lines one white one black.
“White means there’s a obsession or high level of interest. Black means that one has no idea about the other. In this case Jynx is interested in Rahs but he has no idea she exists.
Luna smiled.”That changed today. Jynx has made her move and our Guard shall tell me of his Rahs' reaction to her.”
“Ooh I need to get a new string then.”
*CRASH*
“No. See you over extended your arm there and I easily grabbed it to throw you, you also hesitated. Follow through with the attack or not at all.”
“WOOF!”
“So what?! If this was a real fight would you be that worried about grabbing the chest of some bitch that attacked you? No. Now get up and try again.” Jynx ordered, the Diamond Dog having a rather wide grin on her face having gotten a few extra personal grabs herself on Rahs and was happy with the results.”Is that not right Captain?”
“Yeah, yeah, do that...” Comet Trail called out with a wave of his wing. The stallion sat on a tree stump near the guards and Jynx's adviser. The older canine seeming a bit worried about everything. Particularly when Rahs went flying into the dirt again with Jynx quickly pinning him.
“Not to question you, umm pony, but are you sure this okay?” The female uttered.
Comet Trail looked up from a collection of pictures of various mares he had acquired in his time here , still unable to really choose any of them. He had dated a few of them, though he had stopped himself from going so far as a roll in the hay with any of them to avoid any sort of favoritism being shown as he considered his options.” Hmm? Oh this? Jynx won't hurt him and I did the same sort of training but less touchy feely. Rahs is a stubborn sort, but hard to train. He gets annoyed if he thinks he's not progressing in training and even more annoyed if you go easy on him. In the end he's not really a fighter, sure he can hold his own and just based on what he can do he's a dangerous foe. But he has to be willing to fight and I’m not seeing him have that sort of drive in a spar. I expect he would if his family or friends were threatened , and I was hoping Lady Jynx might scare some sort of reaction from him, but she's playing with him too, sure he's learning from her, he doesn't make the same mistake twice, but he has to recognize he made a mistake to learn from it and she's taking too much advantage of that. This is also the weirdest attempt at trying to convince someone to bang you I have ever seen.”
The canine stared at the Nox-cal blankly.
“Yeah it'll be fine.” Comet Trail sighed as Rahs howled out as he sailed off to crash into some bushes.
“What of the fishing line?” Luna asked noting a large number of lines going to various ponies including some of Twilight's other friends.
“That means I don't know. There could be a connection and I feel something, but it's weak and might not be anything more than friendship. Pinkie Pie is up there simply due to the fact she told Shiny she had a special some pony. Fluttershy cares for him deeply, but that might just be her Element. And AJ is more from Rahs to her, than the other way around because of the apples. There's no real connection to any of them I can pinpoint.”
“ And the orange line running to Trixie Lulumoon is?” Luna asked.
“That means it's complex, see there's a white line from Trixie to Rahs and the orange line means he likes her, but not like likes her you understand?”
“No.” Luna deadpans.
“ACHOO!!!!”
Trixie blinked looking up from where she sat in her cart, she had made it through the whole winter without a cold and she didn't need to be developing one now as summer was just getting started. She had four shows left to do this week.
“ What's the purple line to the moth then?” Luna asked.
“That means I need to investigate it.” Cadence frowned. “According to Spike some mare he'd never seen before started flirting with Rahs when they went out to eat. Rahs was oblivious though according to Spike, the mare had this half starved look on her face when she was looking at Rahs. Since then Spike has seen her about town, though he claimed Pinkie Pie didn't know who she was . At which point the letter got into some rather weird things that Pinkie did trying to find the unknown mare.”
Luna raised an eyebrow at that as she considered what that could mean. “That does bear investigation.
Saturnia frowned as she slipped back into an alcove and then into the darkness concealing her hives location. The pink mare was causing issues, she was having a hard time getting close to Rahs Sparkle without that one showing up and trying to make friends. She had a few narrow escapes needing to change forms at least three times in order to avoid being found out.
Still he knew she existed now and after learning about him from her spies it hadn't been hard to make herself have the same scent as a Diamond Dog with a little pony mixed in. She couldn't change her base scent as a Changeling, but she could mask it and likely make it something more interesting to the Moon Dog. Her plan was in motion, fears aside, she was going to make that bastion of power hers.
“So you do not believe anything shall come of the Gilda pairing?”” Luna considered.
“Not likely no. there's not enough interest . If the pair lived closer together, had constant interaction, or the interest was higher before she went home maybe, but I doubt we will see anything of that .”
“And the massive cloud at the top connected by green string.”
“All the mares of Cloudsdale.” Cadence frowned.
“We think not.”
“Agreed, but I needed to take that into account for predictions.” Cadence nodded, pointing at the red string from Rahs to the cloud. “Well at least the Twilight Sparkle chart is completed. Rahs is a complex one.”
“Far more than you think.” Luna smiled.
[Later that night, Sweet Apple Acres.]
“Well lookie what the cat dragged in.” Applejack snarked from where she leaned on the railing watching her brother pause at the comment then continue to stride up towards the farm.
“Told yah not tah wait up.” Big Mac grumbled.
“Nah, yah told that tah Granny and Applebloom. Didn't tell me nothing.” Applejack smirked pushing off the fence to follow her brother up towards the farm house. “ So how'd it go. Good?”
“Eeeyup.” Big Mac smirked.
“Shining Armor ever show up to harass you?”
“Eenope.”
“Well yah still got that tah look forward too then.” Applejack chuckled. “ Thinking of a second date yet?”
“Eeeyup.”Big Mac looked down at his sister with mild annoyance at the plethora of questions he couldn't avoid with his usual one word answers. Though before he could become more verbose a rustling in the tree they were passing under brought both of them to a stop.
Rahs dropped down before them suddenly as if he was unfolding from the foliage, his arms crossed over his chest his coat pulled around him like a bat as he hung upside down managing to still be eye level with Mac from his odd position.
“Rahs? What tha hay?” Applejack questioned.
Rahs pointed a finger to his chest, then two claws to his eyes then pointed at Big Mac before pulling himself back up into the tree without breaking eye contact with Big Mac or uncrossing his arms.
Big Mac frowned staring up into the darkness of the tree and then looked down at AJ. “ Ah'm going tah bed......”
The large stallion trotted on down the path leaving his sister behind looking after him for a moment before the orange mare looked up in the tree again.
“Was that really necessary?” Applejack demanded.
“Shining asked me to.....”was the grumbled response. Applejack raised a brow hearing Rahs talk pony but she was starting to understand it was something he did occasionally.
Applejack blinked a moment before shrugging.” Did yah have tah use one of my trees?”
There was a light growl.
“........ are you stuck up there again?”Applejack asked after another pause and not hearing him move.
This was a faint whine in response.
Applejack sighed and moved over to the tree trunk. She turned around and lashed out with her back legs. The heavy thunk of her hooves hitting the tree was followed by the hard shaking of the branches and leaves. Moments later there was a startled yelp as Rahs fell out of the tree to land with a crash on the ground.
The pile of Moon Dog whimpered a thanks most likely.
“Dun mention it... and stop climbing mai trees.”
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- TDR · 148k words · 1,210 28 · 11k views
- TDR · 173k words · 968 23 · 9.4k views
- TDR · 172k words · 891 28 · 9.1k views
- TDR · 163k words · 793 35 · 6.6k views
- TDR · 95k words · 617 31 · 5.5k views
- Symphonicdysonince · 237k words · 1,183 64 · 18k views
- Garuda IV · 252k words · 944 36 · 15k views
- Arcanum -Phantasy · 124k words · 1,175 53 · 19k views
Stats
Page generated in 0.207 seconds
Total duration
922 users online
362,739 hits today, 2,139,894 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
I love cadence’s secret love lab: the cave of shipping.
Aww....whelp there went the boat I was hoping for.
9137634
Sorry but i had to sink a few ships. The lake was getting crowded.
Shit it’s over?
9137644
Did anyone else catch this?
It even fit's that it's a love cave!... Oh. My. Gosh! To the Love Cave! nanana!
but aside from that the thought of Rahs trying to be a total ninja is amazing.
9137646
Season 1 is . link to season 2 in the authors notes
Cadance's love lab! Why haven't we seen it in the show yet?! I need to see it on screen!
Well, at least this guy is honest about it.
I think "interrogated" would be a better word
Isn't she the pack Alpha ?
A wise decision
..... *glares at the clearly fake Twilight*
.... i have completely forgotten who this is
9137904
Yes Jynx is the pack Alpha and she's using this 'sparing' to get close to Rahs.
Saturnia is the Changeling Daughter of Chryssy who saw what Rahs can do and wants him as a father for the start of her own hive in ponyville. Simply due to the power he has shown so far.
9137918
Thanks for reminding me
Hmmm. Doesn't really seem like anybody actually matches up with him. Jynx we haven't seen too much of but it seems like she might be pursueing him for shallow reasons.
not yet met
9138357
Hide the Vault while you're at it!
9138086
Jynx does have selfish reasons, but they are reasons Rahs likely won't mind. Saturnia is 100% selfish. Trixie so far is still the fan favorite shipping. BUUUUUUUT ........ that was only season 1.
9138769
Mostly its that there doesn't seem to be any sorr of connection, so them being a pair would come across as pretending to be in love be ause they're both dogs.
9143194
I did go a bit overboard with it. Next time she shows up i plan to tone it down
Abs bow u got that episode of last air bender in my head
*looks at board* "hmmm..." *looks at one guy in particular* "the inferior pink one shall visit your grace with the gift of happiness" *looks at chapter* "...or not" *looks back to ranting comment* it was a good chapter tho.
I'll give the drawing a go, but how does Rahs' body look anatomy wise?
-humanoid
-ponyish
-diamond doggy
-??
9148337
Diamond dog like, but without the slouching, oversized hands , tiny legs and long arms. More like a DD that's proportionate. His tails like a big cats and if you've seen the cover art for Chapter two his head is like a nightsaber cats minus the fangs. the ruff along the back of that images head and neck is how i described his 'mane'. I know the nightsaber cats are well cats not dogs but the image i chose seems to have a more canine slope and nose so it works.
He's got a uniform navy blue fur all over save his left arm that has a crisscross pattern of white lines in the fur from the scars from his wrist to his elbow.[ prolly doesn't matter due to the coat. ] and Amber eyes. There are small balls of white light at the end of each long ear and the tip of his tail, though they are not very bright. His rear legs are digigrade like a diamond dogs and end in canine like paws. His upper limbs have 3 fingered on thumbed 'paws' with less human like fingers and slightly more stubby ones that still work as well kinda like spikes lil fingers..
Clothing wise he has was amounts to cargo pants with a lot of pockets and a long coat based on Captain Mal's from Firefly [ earlier joke about bug themed western he performed in]
He stands about eye to eye with Princess Celestia, though her horn beats out his ears by a inch or so.
I think that's about it.
Good showjolly good show
9164351
Comics aren't canon to the show, and a number of things have been out right rendered impossible since. While that comic arc was fun and well done, the setting made not even the flimsiest attempt at making itself fit into the overall setting of Equestria as a whole. Katie just took a generic 80's teen rom-com and slapped ponies into it.
That one's always been a bit of a sore spot for me. Also shows the flaws in Katie Cook's latter works starting early, disregarding making the story she wants to tell fit into the established setting in favor of the story she wants to tell. Which ultimately ended with Twilight standing around doing nothing while innocent ponies she, as a Princess, is supposed to protect get assaulted, robbed, threatened and have their homes set on fire, right in front of her because that would have ended the story right away.
It's something that annoys me with fanfics too, if you have a square peg, you don't just bash it through the established narratives round hole. So far, this fic has been doing an amazing job of averting that, and where it doesn't... are mostly really minor points that are mostly more just me being a touch over sensitive to those kind of continuity glitches then real issues with the story.
9164374
So long as you're enjoying it i can deal with nitpicks and the occasional issue.
9165824
Bit late there, aren't you?
Great job with this, it had me laughing out loud more than once! I really loved just how natural and well developed your characters were, especially your expansions on cannon characters personalities (Snarky Spike was definitely my favorite), you really don't see that enough. Keep up the amazing work!
Starting 4th chapter, it's merely a journal/diary yet it feels so alive this story.
9166586
Dog eat Dog is where the story really kicks off.
9167002
Unfourtunatly it was something i didnt touch on. 1000 years in the moon had NMM dreaming about her return a great deal. She had her victory dream or loss dream many times. As to why rahs triggered the thought it was a dream . That is explained later.
9167025
Ohhhhhh, I like that idea.
9174085
What can I say? My mind can be very morbidly creative. Absolutely loving the story, by the way!
Just finished the entire story. I really enjoyed it. Rahs was a good character. It's funny, it's well-paced. The darker chapters were kind of a mood whiplash. They were wonderfully tense, and I enjoyed it, but they felt as if they belonged in a different story altogether.
Also, you really need to get a proofreader. There were so many spelling errors, grammatical errors, and weird sentence spaces where there shouldn't have been any. There were also a few instances where you chose the wrong word e.g. ally instead of alley and sparing instead of sparring.
There's also one other problem, but it's more my fault than yours. I didn't realise you used pictures for section breaks (those little paw marks). I usually download stories to an e-reader, because it's easier on my eyes. In doing so, I tend to read offline, which means the e-reader doesn't load any images. I'm going to go back and edit the pawprints back into my offline copy.
Other than those issues, I had a really good time reading your story. Just get yourself a good proof reader, and you'll have a masterpiece on your hands.
9186599
The paw prints were a later addtion . I don't think i used them til mid season and i went back and changed all of my line breaks to them
9186608
Oh by the way, if you're interested, I created a cleaner version of the pawprint that's less blocky.
i.imgur.com/S4Exfrf.png
You're welcome to this one if you want it.
9186686
oooh very nice thank you
9186599
I know that feel, missed so much on earlier fics due to the whole e-reader issues and poor formatting. There is a browser extension called 'Fimfic2epub' which when combined with the free Calibre program, works wonders for keeping a lot of the data, including pictures, intact while getting a fic formatted for an e-reader. Just get the extension, use that to download the fic instead of the site's one, and then use Calibre to reformat it to whatever version of file your e-reader uses. Works amazing for me.
9188406
Even if Zebra's count as a different 'race' of ponies rather then their own species, it's still not racism at work in that ep, as the Ponies' reactions had nothing to do with her being a Zebra. The reaction was independent of any racial issues at all, since again, none of them even know she wasn't just another pony till Twilight told them. This was 100% on her behavior and choice of living location freaking them out, they would have done the same regardless of if she had been a Zebra or a Pony, hence, not racism.
The accent reasoning makes sense but.. just.. so whyyyyyyyy!?
so Dash & Blue Blood interesting, yep this needs to be worked on.
ok i am now finished with this story and i rank it a 90 out of 100 .
it has a vary strong story line with a exultant plot line.
i will be watching the sequel close.
9227963
On the Gun thing, I was midway through a paragraph of rebuttal when it all clicked. Guns and 'Western' style stories being a primary Minotaur thing does make it work, and Rahs, being big on Theater would know it, even if it's not exactly a pop cultural icon that most would easily identify. Okay, that works.
(I am too huge a fan of FoE to not be able to see guns in Equestria, though I usually go with them being a Griffon invention, Minotaur works too though.)
The time thing, he never said 'moons' for timing.
It was in generations, which, to be over 1000 years ago, if we assume the same average generation time frame as modern humans (About 25 years) means it would have been over 40 generations ago. Or that Buffalo generations are much longer.
Not a really big issue overall since it's not like any plot points hinged on the number of generations or anything, just a little quirk that I couldn't over look. Because I am a massive nerd. It's not even as bad as J.K. Rowling thinking that seven years worth of students, with each class being about 40 led to a school with several hundred students. Or mistaking a Parsec for a unit of time.
9228011
Needless to say , you're not going to see much more than comments as i don't plan to bring guns fully into the story unless it some how winds up being funny. But I had a bit of issue with sis as well.
I think my train of thought with the 8 times grandfather is that i doubled the generation by not using father , but by using grandfather and thus it's counting every OTHER generation. but looking at it i'm not sure how i expected any one else to under stand that
9237662 Voiced role, season 6 premier, but they didn't miss anything and have shown up a few times before that. Wedding, they were at Twi's coronation, and only missed the Crystalling because the bad weather stopped their train. Just because they didn't get speaking roles is simply a limitation of not wanting to get VA's for them. They were still there. They were at pretty much every major event you'd expect them to, save maybe the big award ceremony after the Mane 6 beat Discord. But none of the Mane 6's family was there.
We can pretty fairly tell Twilight is not the best at keeping in touch with them, less from a distance and more, Twi is just really bad at staying in touch with ponies in general that she doesn't see every day, Such as not even mentioning her Brother existing to the other Mane 6 or learning about him getting married. (I still headcanon the scroll that got burned in Dragon Quest was him giving her the news.)
Even later on, the only time we see Twi interact with her parents is when either they both end up at the same thing, like the Crystalling, or they contact her, like with the Zeppelin cruise. She's just not a pony that does a lot of writing to anypony but Celestia. So, hard to see he parents not being around not making sense. Just like the other Mane 6, hell we know Rarity's parents live in the same town and have only seen them like, three or four times total. There hasn't really been any point that them not being around when they should have has come up. So, little lost on why that had to be given some explanation, and also does not explain at all why they didn't show up in show given they didn't have any of those issues and still were never really a big part of things.
This, kind of feels like a Voodoo Shark.
9237745
I never saw the air ship episode im only up to season 5 with a episode or 2 of 6. A lot of my explinations are not going to match later canon changes or what i might have missed.
Though it does flex creative muscles figuring out a retcon.
9269759
Interesting. Thats a pretty good plausible theory.
9294903
I should have specified; I was referring to American schools.
9337079
But she's still not entirely sane, and nothing you can say or do will convince me otherwise!
9337278
well..... no
9337324
MY HEADCANON WILL NOT BE DENIED!!ONE11!
9337361
I meant no she's not sane
9408310
Well, my favourite theory involving her...
66.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m8ykokFjSM1r0qpm0o1_500.png
And that has to be one of the most metal things i've ever heard!