Boast Barkers, Epilogue, part 1
Twilight Gets a Puppy
By TDR
Boast Barkers
Epilogue, part 1
[Golden Oaks library.]
The library door slammed shut as a pissed off white unicorn stormed out.
Twilight, Rahs, and Applejack watched the door for a moment from where they sat around a table before Applejack turned back to Twilight.
“She took that bettern' ah thought she would.” Applejack shrugged.
“Her shop was smashed, I’m amazed she took it this well.” Twilight sighed.” You're taking it surprisingly well too.”
“Ah don't like it, but ah ken see it weren’t really her fault. Sides ah kinda asked fer it by challenging her. Applejack sighed. “Had time tah cool mah head a bit an think about it and she kinda needs tah boast like that tah do what she does.”
Rahs nodded.
“So Pinkie Pie Black listed um huh....”Applejack let out a whistle.” Tah be honest being on that list is a lot worse than it sounds. Yah got no idea how much yah want something after yer told yah can't have it.”
“Pfft Twilight and Rahs keep me from stuff all the time.” Spike huffed walking out of the basement into the kitchen.
“So how longs she gonna be in town?” Applejack continued offering the annoyed Spike a small wave..
“Probably another week or two. The insurance adjuster wants to argue with me about what is and is not covered under the town blanket insurance policy for visitors.”Twilight smiled.”Mr. Nit Pick gets very cross with me when I read him back exact lines of the claims scrolls without looking. Trying to claim she isn't covered due to her not being a resident is only a factor if the damage caused was not by a resident or the actions of a resident. That part was only put in place due to the wild storms from the Everfree.”
“Yeah ah heard about that. That guys a pain.” Applejack chuckled.” Glad yer on our side. If Big Mac didn't enjoy doing tha farms taxes I’d see if you were interested.”
“He enjoys doing taxes?” Twilight asked.
“Says it's relaxing.” Applejack shrugged.”So hows that claim looking?”
“Trixie should have her bits for the claim before the end of the week. It helps that Rahs was inside the wagon and can confirm a number of the more substantial parts of the claim. “Twilight pointed out. “ Nit Pick tried to say his observation wasn't valid because he wasn't a Government Employee, to which I reminded him that Rahs is a Library Assistant appointed by Princess Celestia herself. He then tried the claim of a non Equestrian speaking observer, to Which Rahs recited the full rule of law he was speaking of, pointing out the errors in Nit Pick's logic, just like I told him to.”
“Woof.” Rahs shrugged as Twilight rolled her eyes.
“I am quite aware making him offer you a sample of his magic was your idea. As was telling him his magic tasted like flat root beer.” Twilight grumbled. “Any way. The real culprits are punished, though from my understanding their parents have something in store for them too. I've danced loopholes around Nit Pick long enough that the he's debating proposing to me, Trixie's kicked back in a hotel for a while and alls well in the end.”
“Woof.” Rahs commented.
“Right almost. We have no idea where Rainbow Dash is, Rarity's mad at me and Fluttershy is pissed off at the two foals who lured a baby Ursa into town. She's also mad at me because I didn't ask for her help.”
“Fluttershy'll be fine sugar cube. She probably already knows tha name of than mother and has tea with her. Can't help yah with Rarity, but Dash'll show back up. She tends tah disappear fer a day or two if she get's real embarrassed.” Applejack offered.
“Why did she get all flustered like that any way.” Spike asked waddling back into the room with a sandwich bigger than himself.
“Folks thought tha pair of us were an item fer a while causa how close we are. We ain't, but that don't mean nothing tah tha rumor mill.” Applejack muttered.
“Really cause you were pretty flushed too.” Twilight grinned with Rahs cracking a smile as well as his ears perked up.
“......ain't like that. Just sorta embarrassing being called out like that. My barn door don't swing that way.” Applejack protested.
Any further teasing was cut off as the front door burst open and a dark blue alicorn burst into the Library. Her wings flared out wide, the starlit void of her mane whipping wildly, the bulk of it streaked with white as shooting stars shot across her mane and tail. The alicorn's eyes were a bright red and she had noticeable bags under them.
“PERFECT, JUST THE ONES WE WISHED TO SEE!” Luna bellowed in the Royal Canterlot voice as she strode forward towards the table.
“YOUNG SPIKE, WE ARE PARCHED FROM OUR FLIGHT, WOULD YOU BE SO KIND AS TO MAKE US A COFFEE?” Luna continued not noticing that Spike's sandwich and the young drake were plastered against the wall from the power of her voice.
“Umm,” Spike stammered looking to Rahs who shook his head.”We don't have a coffee maker at the moment. We're still moving in kinda.”
Twilight was about to protest that when Rahs slapped a paw over her mouth and slightly shook his head.
“AHHH PITY , PERHAPS WE SHALL GET SOMETHING FROM THE LOCAL SHOP, POST HAST THEN?” Luna continued looking back at the door.
“Hate tah break it to yah Princess but tha towns one coffee shop got eaten by an Ursa last night.” Applejack stated, not sure what was going on.
“MMM MOST UNFOURTUNATE BUT WE BRING NEWS. SO OUR CAFFINATION MUST WAIT A MOMENT MORE THEN. OUR SISTER HAS INFORMED US THAT YOU WISH TO KNOW YOUR ORIGINS YOUNG RAHS!?”Luna explained. “WE KNOW FULLY OF THEM,THOUGH WE MUST ADMIT WE ARE UNAWARE OF HOW YOU CAME TO BE HERE.”
“Really?” Twilight and Rahs both sat up looking at the Princess and even Spike took interest.
“S'TRUTH, WE ARETHE CREATOR OF THE MOON DOGS AFTER ALL. TIS A SAD THING WHEN ONE OF OUR GREAT, GREAT, GREAT, GREAT, GREAT, GREAT, GREAT, GREAT, GREAT, GREAT, GREAT, GREAT, GREAT, GREAT, GREAT, GREAT ….......”
The four at the table glanced to each other as Luna continued on like a broken record, slowly starting to list to the side before snapping back to full alertness.
“.............GREAT, GREAT, GRANDFOAL.. OR PUP....... HONESTLY WE ARE NOT SURE WHAT THE TERM IS THOUGH TIA CONSIDERS ALL PONIES HER LITTLE PONIES SO PERHAPS WE SHOULD COME UP WITH A CUTE, EASILY MARKITABLE TERM SUCH AS THAT.” Luna considered. ”NON THE LESS WE FEEL THE NEEDTO INFORM YOU THAT YOU ARE NOT THE ONLY ONE............WHY ARE THERE ARE CURRENTLY SEVERAL OF YOU DANCING AROUND?”
The others looked at Rahs who remained where he had been at the table. The Moon Dog blinked and tilting his head a little looking at Luna.
“WHY ARE THERE SO MANY OF YOU ALL........oh pony feathers.” Luna muttered the last, falling forward with a crash and smashing through the table hitting the ground her wings askew.
All of them were seconds away from full blown panic, when loud snores came from the Night Princess, the noise enough to rattle the windows in the library.
Twilight stared down at the Luna goddess. Her flank in the air as her back legs still retained their standing position, her face buried in the remains of Twilight's table and dishes. Only her horn remained poking out of the limp mass of mane that pooled around her head in the crevasse of the table.
The group watched for a few moments seeing nothing else happen before Twilight sighed.
“Spike take a letter.” Twilight stated. “ Dear Princess Celestia. Please come and get your sister..........”
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Got to read in time, yes!
You forgot to add the sound of purple panties dropping.
At least she didn't pass out on some street in Canterlot or Manehattan.
Oh good, Luna finally gets to come off that caffeine high.
Ooh coffee crash. Always abit nasty if you are not careful.
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH She going to be feeling it afterwards.
8609993
News headlines reads “ princess Luna moons subjects “
that was a great way to end it, they start to get info on rah she pass out...
8609988
I think it sound of dripping as twilight get super aroused
8609998
I wonder how long that high been going,
8610107
nearly two weeks straight
8610118
yea she be out cold for few days, quick get the sharper marker and draw all over her face make sure he marker are bright pink
No one except the Dragonborn can handle THAT vocal assault.
8610123 Oh yes, so very much so.
That makes sense right as Twilight and Rahs are about to get answers Luna crashes.
Also appears Trixie will come out of this fiasco far better than she did in the TV show. Mr Nitpick on the other hand probably wishes she had had ran for it. He might also start running for it when he sees Twilight
8609993 At least she didn't pass out on the flight over then again with the way Luna was moving probably went from Canterlot to Ponyville in less than a second
The best way to prevent caffeine crash is not run out of caffeine. I make sure I am properly caffeinated at all times. It increases the blood flow in the brain making you smarter. It's true! There's studies and everything! No! I swear I'm fine!
Moondancer has something wrong with her, some kind of chemical disorder, that is making that-much-caffeine have comparably minimal effect when compared to the average pony's effect on her caffeine dosage.
8611826
She's just built up a tolerance
8611816
It's from a 90's Nick show Rocko's Modern Life, he worked at a store called "Kind of a-lot-O Comics"
8612883
Yeah, he seems to be pulling out the 20th Century References left and right.
I'm kinda concerned... Ren and Stimpy plus Equestria equals... well, you don't want them to meet Discord. Or Pinkie Pie. Celestia help you if they meet both at once.
Caffeinated Luna is my spirit animal and i love you for bringing her back.
media.giphy.com/media/fKQfUCBGInSJW/giphy.gif
Uh, no, she wasn't.
I really hate Trixie fans, they act like she did nothing wrong. Trixie was a bitch and she assaulted the others. Alright? The others did tricks that involved their talents, Trixie did tricks that were physical altercations and outright cheating. Oh, yes, I agree heckling her was certainly a wrong thing to do as well and the show did not make an effort to show that, but every story it seems has her being completely justified and with no castigation on her own over-aggressive response.
Done with this story.
9092867
If you give up on a story and down vote it simply because you don't like how one character in the story was portrayed, I have bad news for you about most AU stories.
And finally the crash. How many days did it take before Luna past out.
Loving the story keep it up.
9092867
I’m not a trixie fan but I don’t hate her either but dude calm down like the story explained it’s her JOB to do it and ALSO later on she said she DID beat the major just didn’t kill it so she wasn’t lying either
Another one that gave me very mixed feelings. Short version, again it feels rather 'fix fic'y in not exactly good ways. On the other, it's well done beyond that, and most of the stuff does make some sense, and a lot of the ideas are very well done and interesting, but then others.. ehhh.. not a fan of. But, notes....
I can 100% believe Rahs has the best table manners and overall etiquette of the three.
Luna the coffee addict is hilarious, now the question, is her showing up in those towns teleportation, or just her accessing looney toons level speed from the caffeine?
Okay, the bit about cutie marks, another thing that, doesn't quite work right for me. Granted that more about that overall interpretation of them in general then anything specific to how this story uses them. Saying they 'give' anything just, doens't sound right at all, especially with how they've been portrayed in later seasons. Now part of this is how Ponies talk about them, but it's been made clear several times, that they don't fully understand them themselves, and everything they say is just how they are interpreting certain things or see it, not hard fact. Along with a bit of 'common speak' or just vernacular shortcuts that aren't meant to be exact in the first place. Basically, it's hard to see CM's as really doing anything, rather then simply being a symbol. We've never seen anypony suddenly develop any skills after getting one, instead it's always arrived at from them understanding their own already existing skills and realizing it's what they want to do. (Granted the Mane 6 are a bit iffy in this, but Sonic Rainboom makes them potentially atypical cases, and even then, it's hardly clear either way.) MMC, the spell changed their Destiny, and so changed the symbol of said 'destiny', Starlight, also added the = marks, and we saw them pulsing while repressing the ponies' personalities. Just, hard to buy the logic Twi is presenting on them here.
Do like the rework of the spell testing thing, yeah that whole scene.... is just a big case of Early Installment Weirdness of them not having really worked out how magic works in the setting fully and just, feels very out of place with later events.
I can totally see Twilight putting together mandatory speeches complete with hour long slide shows on "Why Rahs isn't a Diamond Dog" and that idea is GLORIOUS!
Okay, now to get to one of my main issues with this 'episode' it's treatment of Trixie, and demonization of those that had issues with her. As follows from a lot of 'pro-trixie' fix fics on this topic. Now yeah, the way things are presented here, the way Trixie was treated in the ep does seem too harsh, but that's only because this toned down Trixie and made her less of an abrasive, condescending jerkass. It only did so, by altering the initial starting conditions beyond what the contest of the situation being refuted had.
First big thing, the "It's her job to talk herself up" bit. Agreed, as a showmare, it's part of putting on a good show. I do not disagree on the principle here. But Trixie..... sucked at it. There is an art to doing this right, to building yourself up, without coming off as a "I'm better then you, and you miserable peons should be grateful just to gaze upon my majesty" asshole, which Trixie does. She builds herself up in the worst way possible, by putting others down. That is the issue with why Trixie got so much flak, while a showmare does need to build herself up and make herself seem awesome, you need to do it in a way that doesn't make your audience feel like they are being insulted or condensed to, or treat as less in the process. It's a balancing act that Trixie fails at. Look at her more recent shows, where ponies are seen really enjoying themselves, one of the biggest changes is she's toned down herself, while still putting on the 'Great and Powerful' act and building herself up, she doesn't antagonize the audience in doing so.
Also, while yeah, heckling isn't exactly a good thing either, look at the situation, and who was doing it. Rarity, just found the way Trixie was doing it to be annoying, since Rarity prefers things more elegant and refined. AJ, is the one least likely to put up with or buy into this type of hype in the first place and sees anyone bragging as wrong, just by her nature. But neither one heckled her or interrupted the show they were just talking quietly among themselves. Then we have RD, yeah Season 1 RD was a massive jerkass at times, and this was one of them. Trixie's bragging set off her own ego, and the heckling, wasn't even really meant as that, but was RD trying to distract the others from her own hypocrisy, which yeah, dick move.
So yeah, my biggest issue with the chapters, it feels way to forgiving of Trixie, to the point of actually rewriting her to make it seem worse she was treated that way, while missing the actual issue it's trying to say people/ponies were wrong for having. It was not a case of not getting it was part of the show, (the only one that really seemed that way was AJ, who yeah, isn't going to like that idea. Rarity just felt the way she was doing it was tres gouche, and RD was just being an ass to try and distract from her own massive ego issues) it was that 1. We saw this extended outside the show, and Trixie really is just that egotistical, 2. While true in principal, Trixie did it in the worst way that moved past hyping herself up, and moved putting herself up, by pushing others down. It was about HOW Trixie did it, not that she was doing it.
Then you have the whole "Trixie was a student at Celestia's School" bit which, I know it's common but.. just...
Do not like that take. Trixie shows no reason for her to have, we KNOW not every unicorn with any amount of magical talent or drive goes, as per Starlight, and just, there is no evidence at all and it simply comes off as trying to cram things together that just, have no need to be there. Even more so given the change this fic made to how it worked.
That said, her backstory beyond that is... pretty damn good, and I can fully see that course of events. Shy, reserved, nervous Filly full of self doubt and worry, learning to push it all aside and hide all of that under a mask of some larger then life persona that she takes on. That... yeah that is kind of brilliant and really really works well. Also really like the twist of the set up for Magic Duel, that.. that was surprising and, very well done.
Still not getting the whole 'Twilight isn't Celestia's student anymore' thing either feels... really off and not right.
I am not sure if I should, or should not be surprised they have that policy on the town. I mean, on the one hoof, it makes sense and really is a msart move. On the other.... what insurance agency would possibly okay any policy that the town could at all afford? Granted, might just be a case of things not having been AS bad pre-Twilight, and their premiums just skyrocket after this.
So yeah, another mixed bag for me, as seems standard at this point, the points where the story plays Fix Fic are kind of eye rolling, while the original stuff, or simply seeing Rahs take on events is really damn good.
9185726
Understandable and it wasn't exactly a flat fix. Like many things in this fic the chars personality was altered due to the encounter with Rahs. Blue Blood is changed, Trixie is changed... others have changed as well. Trixie is still abrasive, but not as much as she was before Her cutie mark origin story is different as well. As for her being in Celestia's school that was sort of a roll into thing. She took the test and made it in, but never made it past the exam and a few meetings with Celestia before the bullying started and she left with her parents.
As for how she passed the examine, she couldn't figure out how to hatch the egg so she made the illusion of it hatching and talked a big enough game that it fooled 2 of the 3 examiners.
As for the heckling, in the show rarity and the others were at the front of the stage, neither Spike nor Rarity were quiet and Rarity called her out directly. Granted some of what happened does go into my Rarity bashing that i'm trying to not get too into , but Dash and Rarity were pretty terrible first season.
As for the cutie marks. Yeah What Twilight said is the most popular theory, but none of it holds up against canon cause the canon lore is spongy and and wibbly wobbly.
9185790
And that is part of why I am enjoying the fic a lot more then anything else that feels this fix fic-y, because it is trying to explain the changes and putting some thought into things. Can't say I agree with how it does it all the time, but mostly in pure YMMV, it's not bad, just not what I'd prefer ways rather then it being anything I'd call actually bad or wrong in any non-subjective way and does stay internally consistent. While others, really are interesting takes and ideas on the situation.
As to the ep, yeah, not saying they were in the right either, but hardly as bad as people like to make them out to be, and Trixie, really as an asshole as well. It was just an issue of the show still being in the 'find it's footing' stage, and being written far more simplistically then it would be later on, all just part of the season 1 growing pains nearly every series goes through.
Lawl.
THE OVER CAFFINATION SHALL LASSSSSHHHhhhhh...
* THUD *
8610311
I'm not entirely sure even I could handle that myself.
Celestia: *after reading the letter* Finally! She's free of the caffeine.
"Luna! No! Don't turn me into a marketable plushie!! NOOOOO!"
I love this story.
sooner or later she had to run out of gas
The crash is always... Very harsh and enlightening after one wakes up... How long did Luna last i wonder?
Twilight with taxes:
10903304
At least 2 weeks
10944884
Ah... wonder what will happen if she had expresso?...... *evil smile starts to form*
10946431
That's what she was on. I wonder what would happen if she was on Death Wish.
10994754
Now we’re talking coffee! Death Wish. Specifically, their Valhalla Java Odinforce blend. Nectar of the gods(second only to mead)!
10944884
Hot damn... A surprise she didn't die from this than and there...
There once was a message runner that run three days and nights to deliver urgent news. He died to a heart failiure after having dutyfully fullfilled his delivery.
11261641
Well she is an alicorn, so she might have died, briefly.
Overly caffeinated Luna is such a joy whenever she pups in.
Stayed once awake for 2-3 days for gaming season. The crash had me practically sleep a hole day away and make me feel horrible.
After all, drinking water is difficult if one sleeps of a sugar or caffeine crash.