Twilight Gets a Puppy
By TDR
Beast Night Ever,
Part 3
[Canterlot, The Grand Galloping Gala, Gardens]
“Ooooooh.” Fluttershy cooed peering through the bushes towards a small wallaby in a blue Haw-waiian shirt that was hopping around in a small clearing.
“Yeah, that one's one of our lesser cousins. They ain't got tha smarts that we do. Bout as bright as a normal dog really. Rescued this one from a comic shop where tha owner managed ta train him tah run tha register.” an odd voice spoke quietly beside her. The pair of them pulled back out of the bush causing the wallaby to raise it's ears in alarm before hopping off.
Fluttershy smiled as she sat back, her pink hair pulled up under a pith helmet and a soft explorers jacket around her shoulders.
Her guide was wearing much the same, minus the helmet. The red furred creature towered over the pale yellow pegasus, standing on only his powerful back legs and thick tail, his smaller forearms pointing back to the wallaby as he explained, though they still looked like he benched wagons in his spare time. A mop of blond hair rested atop his head with his long ears poking up out of the mess.
“Any how, ah'd hoped to have come across tha coeurl we've got here, but tha noise of tha party prolly has her hiding.” Steven Bob Elseya offered as he took a small hops forward before glancing back at the yellow pegasus.
Fluttershy gasped at that. “You have a coeurl? Is she a mountain of a deep forest one?”
“Ah tha little things jus a mountain variety. Some minotaur got her when she was little an she got too big fer his house so she wound up here earlier in tha year. Bloke comes tah visit every so often and she purrs like a kitten when he's around, nice enough fellow, donates quite a lot of bits tah keep this place running too.” the large roo chuckled. “Come on, ah think ah know where she might be holed up...... eh?”
Fluttershy practically skipped along, though she stopped as he did.” What's wrong?”
“Where'd yer little bunny go off to?” Steven asked.
“Oh Angel Bunny? He smelled something good and went off for a snack. That won't be any issue will it?” Fluttershy asked.
“Nah, tha few predators we got around here are smart enough tah know not tah hunt anything in tha garden, yer little fella should be fine.” Steven nodded.
“Oh that's good, I'd hate for any of these little darlings to get hurt...” Fluttershy agreed.
' ….Now that dragon didn't know nothing about tha date, which was tha turnip, that was normally a red onion, that was supposed to be a white onion, but wasn't on account of tha war, but my granny didn't know that, and gran-pappy was a smart fella and when she started bickering with tha dragon, he just stepped off tah tha side and let um go, ain't no one wanna get in the middle of a fight between a dragon guarding it's egg and a mare who thought said dragon was trying fer her stallion. Course one would think it'd be one sided with it being a pony against a dragon and what not, but my granny was a might powerful one, my grandson Big Mac takes after her pretty well. Why he once pulled a tree up by tha roots and tossed it on tha burn pile like it was nothing. Sure it was an old dead tree that got hit with root rot, but still. Now root rots a mean little fungus.....”
The main doors to the grand ballroom were suddenly pushed open as a sweeping hum of music
four coral armored guards swept into the room at the top of the stairs to a soft drum beat and acoustic guitar..
The quick eyed noticed that the guards were not armed and all seemed to be some what androgynous looking colts with modern styled mane cuts and armor that seemed particularly flimsy and revealing at the same time, showing off their well maintained fur and tone forms.
A number of mares took particular note of this. Moving in behind them was the Goddess of Love, Princess Cadence, and her less than thrilled escort Shining Armor Sparkle.
To say the pink alicorn had cranked up her pink-ness was an understatement, She wore a flowing coral colored dress, with lighter pink trim and festooned with what seemed to be highly polished rose quartz done up in her mane and tail causing her to glitter pinkly as she moved through the lights.
Pinkie Pie was less than amused.
Shining armor was dull by comparison, wearing the blues of the Guard's dress uniform with a number of medals pinned to him.
Thankfully he cut off the Coral colored Guards before they could start singing.
“Cady .. I didn't assign the guards to you for you to make them into a colt band...” Shining grumbled.
“But they're so cute..” Cadence smiled. ”Besides I need to compete with auntie Luna.”
“It's quite alright sir, the mares seem to love it.” one of the Guard stallions stated. “ We even have a band name, Vicious Nursery.”
“Corporal Jones that doesn't even make sense as a name.. plus you're in your thirties, you shouldn't be trying to attract teenagers.” Shining reprimands.
“I'm not sir, I’m attracting those teenagers mothers.....” The stallion grins as Shining smacks himself in the face with a hoof.
“Sir your escort is getting away.” One of the other Guards pointed out as Cadence had swept down the stairs as if she flew and was currently poking around talking to any one she could.
“Right..... put on some proper armor next time, you're a Guard not a exotic dancer.” Shining grumbled.
“Hey, don't dis my day job sir.” one of the other stallions called out.
“...... but then Applejack bucked his fool head and that arrogant sonna bitch, pardon my Prench, went flying back into tha pig sty. That was about tha time that dates, which was a white onion at that point cause a tha war was over, went outta style in Ponyville. Now where was I … oh yeah, so granny and tha dragon were squaring off when there was a crack in the air like a bullwhip......
Silver Platter paused looking at the sight before him curiously. Sitting at the end of the buffet table was a white rabbit in a pith had and explorers vest holding a large plate piled high with fruits, treats, and other food.
He stared at the white rabbit a moment, getting a stare back in return as the rabbit bit off a chunk of lemon seasoned trout from a skewer. After watching a moment more the unicorn went back to serving the other guests. Dressed as it was the rabbit was likely one of the guests pets. His job was to keep the table supplied with food, not critique who was eating it.
“... course tha hatching didn't know what was going on and tha first thing he did was latch onto my grandpappy's leg like it was his mama. This annoyed the mama dragon somethin fierce, and course granny didn't care about that and was intent on making herself a new purse outta dragonhide. She had a nice alligator hide one she got from a cragodile couple years earlier , but sakes alive was that thing heavy, she coulda swung it and knocked down a mountain once it was loaded up with essentials. I remember as a little thing if one of us needed tah be punished she'd just set that thing on our backs and we weren’t going anywhere, made shopping a breeze....”
Just as the yammering about Princess Cadence's entrance had started to die down the main doors again opened.
Or it would be more accurate to say, were flung open with a resounding crash as two ponies entered. A dark purple pegasus a wild white mane streaked with blue and a electric guitar slid in to one side and started laying into the blue guitar he had with his wings. To the other side of him was a white unicorn with a orange and black mane who floated a whole drum kit before him playing it with his fore hooves as he went. Both of them started jamming a fast paced tune with a heavy beat and vicious guitar licks.
A pair of Night Guard pushed a pair of massive tower speakers out behind the pair as they played, the whole hall shaking with the volume before Princess Luna stepped out between the pair of rocking musicians.
Her dress was done up like the night sky, seeming to blend into the flow of her tail and mane as she strode down the steps towards the stunned crowd, the music blaring behind her.
As she reached the bottom of the steps the Musicians trailed off stepping back through the door with the guards pulling the speakers back in as well, the whole display taking only about a minute.
“Salutations our little ponies, your Princess of the Night has arrived.” Luna spoke with a smile.
Of course no one heard her on account of how they had recently been deafened.
While the numbers were heavily whittled down there were still a number of ponies standing in line to speak with Celestia, though all of them looked annoyed or ready to leave.
What none of them really noticed however was that both Granny Smith and Celestia's ears were flicking in a silent conversation as Granny rambled on.
“That was so COOL!” Scootaloo cried out as she bounced around in her chair.
“Kinda loud.” Applebloom offered.
“That's Pontera, Princess Luna got Pontera to announce her arrival, that's on par with Rainbow Dash levels of coolness.” Scootaloo chimed in.
“Well that's high praise from her, Scoot's cool chart only goes up to Rainbow Dash.” Applebloom snorted.
“Ehh, I liked the first one better.” Sweetiebelle shrugged.
Applebloom was about to reply when she stopped, her eyes widening as she suddenly grinned.” That's IT!”
“What's it?” Scootaloo asked.
“Fer Sweetie. She needs a cooler sister than Rarity and who's cooler than a Princess?” Applebloom asked excitedly.
“Rainbow Dash.”Scootaloo answered
“I don't follow.”Sweetiebelle commented.
“Yeah, anyway, they're Princesses how are we gonna get them to be Sweetie's new sister?” Scootaloo pondered.
“Easy. Twilight, Rahs, and Spike already call Cadence their sister, so she must have adopted her as such when they were younger.” Applebloom pointed out. “So it shouldn't be too hard tah get her tah do tha same tah you to have a younger sister.”
“There's Spike again.” Scootaloo snarked.” Couldn't we just convince your sister to adopt her?”
“Ah ain't sharing.” Applebloom snorted.
“I still don't get this.” Sweetiebelle muttered.
“Look we ken ask Princess Luna too. She adopted Rahs at tha drop of a hat, with how Twilight and Spike say Princess Celestia and her fight all tha time, she might be looking fer a younger sister too!” Applebloom logic'd.
“Does that even make sense?” Sweetiebelle pondered.
“Not really, but I’ve got nothing better to go on.” Scootaloo shrugged.
“Right so we just got to convince one of them that Sweetiebelle's tha best little sister they could have and BAM new better older sister!”
“Let's do it.” Sweetiebelle agreed.
“Then of course at tha wedding tha dragon showed up again and granny was bout ready tah show it what fer, not because it showed up, but because it brought another toaster as a wedding gift and they already had four.....” Granny Smith continued.
“Hmm forty five minutes. That's a new record Granny.” Princess Celestia stated, looking at a clock across the now empty hall.
“Whew. Plumb glad of that, not sure I coulda kept that going too much longer, was about to double back around and start telling it again from my granny's point of view.” Granny Smith nodded looking back at the empty hall.” Plumb stubborn lot this time. Thought we were gonna have another '63. Spent the whole Gala trying to bore them away and they sat there fer tha whole thing.”
“Yes well keep in mind I had two assassins try and take me out that year due to the tax on tea that no one even told me had happened. Had I known I would have been rioting next to them.” Celestia chuckled.
“Whelp, anyway, yah missed out on gitting in mah grandsons pants like ah suggested, that student of yers got her hooves in him first.” Granny chuckled.
“Really now? Twilight? Ah well, I might have to wait a few more generations and see what else the Apple family can produce that's to my taste.” Celestia grinned as Granny cackled.
“Speaking of which here yah go.” Granny Smith smirked reaching under her dress to a strap around her back thigh pulling out a large steel flask.
“Is that?” Celestia's eyes widened a bit of drool trickling from her mouth.
“Course it is, best Zap-Applejack Cider Sweet Apple Acres can produce. “ Granny Smith grinned wide.
“I really shouldn't. Last time I had that I woke up in a tree with some poor stallions pants tied about my horn, and the sun was mint colored.”
“Oh yeah that party was a hoot.” Granny chuckled. “ Pretty sure they were uncle Green's tell tha truth. Sides you know as well as ah do ain't no one gonna say a durn thing about it cept maybe yer sister. Yah need tah loosen up a little, all this business ,business, business, numbers, numbers, numbers, can't be healthy fer yah.”
Celestia frowned taking the flask and looking it over before opening it a little shivering some at the delectable smell coming from the flask.
“I wouldn't want to take your only...... oh...”Celestia smirked as Granny pulled another flask from her other thigh. “Well I suppose a sip wouldn't hurt, it has been a while.”
Granny raised her flask and the pair clinked them together before both of them had far more than just a sip.
You say Pantera but give us Metallica? :p Given the whole NMM thing Walk would have been fitting...
Although I do love this right now...
9049184
Not Pantera, Pontera, i brought those guys back from my horribly failed fic.
Oh gods, the Gala is doomed...
I wonder what would happen if Canterlot were to completely slide off the mountain and crumble into a pile of rubble as a result of tonight's activities. Oh where shall the government of Equestria—and all of Canterlot's elite—move to should such a calamity occur? It's not like there's a castle conveniently located in a town nearby formerly suitable for the diarchy…
…
…Twilight's going take up drinking, isn't she?
Oh god. Drunk Celestia next chapter. Twilight really was start about skipping the Gala this year.
Ozzy introducing Luna with Bark at the Moon would of been awesome!
9049270
hmm i do like that but Master of puppets had the 1 min intro i wanted
good chapter
Yelp, we're SOL!
This guy 's going to be about the only one without a eventful evening. Also, it's HAT, not had
Either Twilight is going to be sad she missed what's coming or it's going to all go to plan, such as there is.
You know its bad when the ancient being hosting the party is wasted
Drunk Celestia is going to be awesome.
freak great that granny was doing all that talk to allow the princess some freedom and I can see it,
and with that sip form he flask, the whole city gong to be come down the mountain and they move castle back to the forest, and make sure the nobles cant buy up sweet apple aces or any land around the town or the forest and force everyone out
I figured that was what Granny Smith was doing.
Drunklestia has arrived!
Of course those two tricksters would be using the guard ear thing. >.> is is bad I kind of want to hear how that story ended?
Nice cameo of Rocko there at the start.
I haven't read the new chapter yet, but I've just realised you missed a potential beastie boys pun back when rahs sung at that bar.
Steve Irwin was a shining golden god amongst men, similar to Mr.Rodgers and Bob Ross.
I think we're approaching levels of pink energy that are indeed dangerous. If only more people would heed Zordon's warnings.
Well Cadance, you might wanna turn down the pinkness a little bit before the True Pink One decides to take matters into her own hooves
Hmmm, you might wanna work on that a little bit... no wait... do they need to work on that, i have no idea what's in these days
You get to live another day my good stallion... unlike the fool noble that will try and remove that "bunny" (one of them is gonna try, we all know it)
So that's what's been going on
Oh yes please
Things are gonna become so fun
9049568
what about Morgan Freeman?
9049710
He's not dead
9049758
wait, Ross is dead?
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Isn't he? I guess I should check.
Yep in 1995.
That’s a wise, wise stallion; he’ll go far. I’m predicting commendations by the time the Gala is over.
You realize, of course, that while the nobles didn’t comprehend the real conversation, every guard within line of sight did.
Dam. This story is funny
9049213
Funny you should say that. Canterlot did happen to slide off the top of the mountain in one of TDRs other stories....
Whelp....Drunklestia is a go. Everypony prepare from drunk shenanigans or at the very least for things to be weird. All before even Discord gets free. If he is aware in that statue he is going to applaud Granny Smith the moment he gets out for convincing Celestia to drink.
Who would get hurt? You didn't not refer to that white demon bunny, right?
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I'm pretty sure that Fluttershy just implied that anything fool enough to try to prey on Angel Bunny is in for a bad time...
9050080
No she was not talking about Angel getting hurt.
9050315
Your pfp perfectly accentuates that statement.
9050315
i wash hope one show flutterhsy around get worry and flutter make comment of "oh no angel and rah got into fight that end in a tie"
I wonder what granny and celeista were really talk about during the whole gala
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mostly how stubborn the ones in line were.
9052455
ahhhh ok,
did no one notice the Lego movie reference?
9054194
Who did not???
Oh dear....
A wild Drunklestia appeared! She appears to be hunting stallions....
[Fight][Magic]
[Item] [Flee]
Has Twi finally forgiven Celestia?
And so, the chaos shall ensue.
This right here is why i enjoy yours fics... I mean comon fluttershy cannot be that clueless where angel bunny's attitude is concerned she hasta kno that bunny is alpha in all things pet
When Granny Smith pulled out the flask, I grabbed a bottle of whiskey, poured a glass, waited, and toasted with them, for this will be one hell of a night.
9054194
You mean Luna's entrance?
Best Gala night version for Celestia. Wonder what Luna has planned... Hm... What is Rarity doing?
Drunken god shenanegance incoming ♡
Eclipse incoming?
On my second read through and I had a thought about Rocko's Modern Life right before turning to this chapter too
Is that a Rocko's Modern Life reference?
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Considering EVERYBODY got the reference, I would say so, yeah.
This is where the party starts.