Twilight Gets a Puppy
By TDR
How Much is that doggie in the window.
Celestia's journal wheneverly,
I was correct. The Witch Wolf is dangerous. Very dangerous.
No, it's not done anything violent or vicious. Spike's already caused more damage than Rahs has in the three months since he hatched. Though Spike has yet to widdle on the carpet in my personal quarters. Rahs has done it four times..... since Tuesday.
It's not his magic eating that has been a danger either. In fact, that seems more like a boon in this case. Twilight's magic seems to be trickling to him through their link, and not only has it kept Rahs sated, it's kept Twilight's magic more level. She's less likely to have surges with the excess bleeding off like it is. Something to consider for others suffering from magical surges perhaps?
No, what makes Rahs dangerous is that he is absolutely adorable, and he knows it.
If he does anything wrong, he simply sits up a little, flops his ears, and gives you a look that could melt a Windigo's heart. Someone really should market that look and put it on a stuffed animal..... they would make millions.
In any event, not even the most stone cold Guard I have is immune to that look. To make matters worse, Twilight has seen what it can do and has added her own weapons grade adorableness to his. Not even her parents can deal with the pair of them working together, particularly when Twilight's hugging him to herself and looking pouty.
The worst however is when she manages to get Spike in on it too. All the purple lizard has to do is suck on his tail and look at whoever he's pointed at for dawws, and when backed by the other two, they are unstoppable. I can't even handle adorableness of that magnitude.
I've had to hire a team of doctors skilled in cardiac arrests to be on standby around the clock.
While it took a bit of time before he stopped trying to maul any one who got close to Twilight or Spike, he eventually did. Twilight easily convinced him that her parents were okay. Though from what she tells me, her brother Shining Armor and Rahs hit it off pretty much from the start. Shining had always wanted a dog it seemed and now he had one … sorta.
Aside from immediate family and a few other exceptions, it takes him a few weeks of constant exposure to get used to them before he stops going into protective pup mode.
Something that involves him tackling Twilight to the ground and standing over her while barking, baring his teeth, and growling at whoever is new to him until they go away. He also has a tendency to attack my tail and mane, but i think that is due to their wavy nature than anything else.
The filly thought it was funny at first, then a bit bothersome. Now she usually is so absorbed in her reading she doesn't even notice. Given she has a tendency to walk and read at the same time, I’m not against his over protectiveness.... at least until he tries to eat my hoof cover again... with my hoof still in it.
One of his other issues is that he tries to protect Spike and Twilight at the same time. A bit of a problem as he can't be in two places at once. They were keeping Spike in a bedroom apart from Twilight at first just in case he snored fire in his sleep.
After three nights of thunderous paws running between the rooms as Rahs tried to watch both at once, usually resulting getting tired and passing out in the middle of the floor where someone could, and did trip over him, they relented. But only after Mrs. Sparkle nearly fell down the stairs twice because of the furry lump in the middle of her floor, Mrs. Sparkle just put the baby dragon in with her daughter and fireproof spelled everything.
Yet another issue is that he often acted more like a cat than a dog. He has the claws and tail for it I suppose, and like a cat he sharpens his claws on nearly anything and everything. Add in his desire to chew on everything and add in his want to climb everything and you see the issue. It's sorta’ cute when it's the couch or a book case he's scaling, not so cute when it's your leg.
For the most part he's a well behaved pup when Twilight tells him to do something. Aside from the weaponized cute, the normal young animal things, and the guard dog mentality, he's content to sleep most of the time that I teach Twilight, much as Spike does.
During one of these peaceful moments I asked Twilight why she named him Rahs.
It seems that the name came from a story she read about a famous inventor who had changed the face of Equss with his work. Bringing Pony kind into a golden age of delight and wonder.
A certain Rahs de Medici.
Thinking on it, I couldn't recall any one of that name leaving any sort of mark on history and it was only after she brought the book she was speaking of to show me that I understood.
Rahs de Medici was the inventor of ice cream.
Given that Twilight was more than willing to use weaponized cuteness, or any other under-hooved trick to get the sweet treat, the reason for the name was quite clear.
The Moon Dog’s diet was the source of less issue than I thought. Several races of Equss eat meat, and as such I employ a number of chiefs for any ambassadorial visits that might require culinary skills with something beyond pony.
It didn't take much to convince one to prepare meals for Rahs. A Griffon chef that worked for me named Emareial Larkasse was the one who agreed, though he was clearly not happy with it. At least until Twilight and Rahs came to thank him for the food.
After he recovered from his heart attack and was cleared by the doctors, he was significantly less annoyed with the preparations for Rahs.
The primary ingredients of the dishes were eggs, fish, bird, or other small game creatures. Occasionally one of the Guard’s Monster Hunters would bring in meat from something larger they had taken down. Though this became a bit more common as the existence of the pup was known. While this meant the pup never went hungry, it also meant that most other ponies were spared knowledge of what the Moon Dog was eating.
The first real incident happened near the beginning of the second year. Spike had his first birthday and Twilight was super excited for it.
Rahs was clearly older than Spike and seemed to be growing at the same rate as Twilight, so Twilight suggested that he have his birthday the same day as hers in summer.
Rahs was confused by the lot of it, but seemed to sense that Twilight was excited and became a little hyperactive bouncing ball of excited fluff, which also got Spike excited, thus adding to Twilight's previous excitement and increasing the cleaning bill for the Sparkle household yet again.
Two nights after the dragon's birthday party, the Sparkles’ house was broken into. The police later found they had cast a silence spell around the parents’ room and made their way directly to Twilight's room.
The investigators were mixed on motives since the criminals wouldn't talk, or simply claimed they got lost on their nightly stroll. Of the two options, the first was that they were either after Spike and perhaps Rahs. A baby Dragon was a rarity and would likely fetch a high price on the black market, intact, or in pieces, and Rahs was an unknown for any pony who knew about Diamond Dogs and could tell he wasn't one.
the other option was they were out to foal nap the student of the Princess for a huge ransom. One I would have paid easily had they managed to take her. Though I would have made them regret it later.
None of that happened, mind you.
What did happen was that the Sparkles had to move out of their house for a few weeks while it was deep cleaned and the damage restored.
Of the four perpetrators, only one was unscathed and that was a Pegasus lookout that had been outside the house. Aside from a ridiculous amount of scratches and bite marks, one of the Unicorns had his horn bitten partially off. As far as I know, even without the inhibitor ring he is wearing in jail, he cannot cast properly any more. The other unicorn got off the lightest, though they were unable to reattach his ear. The third was an Earth Pony and I almost pardoned her. She had one of her forelegs bitten clean off, and by the time Mrs. Sparkle convinced Rahs to let go of the mauled limb, it was too badly damaged to reattach.
Rahs did not exactly make it through unscathed. Had he been older he might have, and the trio of foal nappers would have been dead. As it was, he was still a puppy and had to be treated for several spell burns, a broken leg, a few cracked ribs and a number of bruises. He also had several of his teeth break off in the thieves’ flesh.
Twilight and Spike slept through the whole thing.
Rahs recovered rather quickly, despite Twilight's attempt to be a doctor for him herself. That incident used up sixty bits worth of bandages and Band-Aids and left Rahs looking more like a mummy than anything else with nothing but his little black button of a nose poking out of the wrapping. It took us two hours to get him out... with magic.
It was also of note that a few days later, one of the patrol Guards noticed a mark at the bottom of the mailbox post at the Sparkle house. It was something he brought to my aside’s attention who then brought it to me.
A few of my Guards and servants started their careers in one 'less than reputable' profession or another. Over my many years I have learned many interesting things simply by associating with those not quite on the up and up, as well as the high class. The Guard knew this of me and knew what the mark meant when they brought it to my attention.
A triangle pointed down with a line through the middle of it. The bottom point of the triangle then had a large circle around it that cut through the middle of the triangle.
A thieve’s guild mark signifying danger.
Given this robbery cost them four members, two likely for good, it was little surprise the mark was placed.
Despite the addition of the mark, I decided that I wanted a little extra protection for the trio and sent a letter to someone I knew would be able to help me with this.
Someone who wouldn’t be swayed by the adorable trifecta, no matter how many pouty lips, glimmering eyes or wiggling noses............................... gah ….. I think my heart stopped there for a second.
Anyway, she would not be swayed by this and had plenty of experience with both foals and monsters.
My niece, Mi Amoré Cadenza.
This is amazing.
It’s a VERY good thing you have the Comedy tag so prominent, this chapter was absolutely hilarious!
Yes, even the part about the would be kidnappers. A bit grim-dark but still able to get a laugh out of.
The only sad part was the roughing up the poor pup got.
Also, the antics I can see the trio and Caddy getting up to MIGHT be worthy of a dark tag. All the damage to palace from the fun and games that are sure to be had in it.
DAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWW.
Cadance wont last long against that weapons adorableness
This is very interesting definitely tracking it.
So Cadence is Twilight's bodyguard?
...
Neat
Cadence is doooooooooomed. I will have to find the cloning spell so I can make sure to have a copy of cadence's mind when they fire the cuteness overload weapon at her.
Puppy power!
I did not know Cadence was part of the Thieves Guild or that Equestria had one. I'm not so sure she can withstand the trifecta of weapons-grade cuteness that is Twilight, Rahs and Spike. I'll bet Rahs looks like a mix between a malamute and a pomeranian.
I looked at this and noticed that the author description seemed familiar... then the writing style of comedy and gore-ish stuff... TDR strikes again! You get a favorite, you get a favorite! All your works get favorites!
Twilight gets smol pupper.
Im sold
8415237
It can't be misspelled so many times, ergo - it was designed to be this.
I gave all my yes to another story a while ago. I just generated another truck load. Take it. Take all the yes and make more of this awesome adorableness with pup, whelp, and filly shenanigans. And from Celestia's diary too! XD
That was pretty hilarious, but unless I'm missing some kind of reference here, you picked a pretty weird name for that. The House of Medici was well-known for being hard-ass medieval bankers and traders, not for being any kind of innovators or inventors. I mean, if you're doing a reference to real-world historical figures, I would've picked someone who fits the theme better.
Also, the thieves guild uses Hobo Code, haha.
8414724
The dark/gore tag was actually added solely for the kidnapper bit. And perhaps for his eating habits later on. I do like a bit of dark humor to tell the truth.
8414973
I have been trying very hard not to use this line as it is a reminder of one of the most hated chars of the 80s.
8415144
Cadence isn't Celestia was.In a disguise of course. Actually Rahs' design is based of Red XIII from final fantasy 7. That guy was both a cat and a wolf.
8415555
Catherine De Medici [wife of Henry the 2d] was rumored to have brought some chefs to france who knew how to make sorbet. There were earlier names but this one stuck.. and Rahs was Rahs before that. This was just a random tie in i had put together.
Skyrim thieves markings actually.
8415576
I mean, they're a fictional race of bat-ponies not named in the canon, so you can technically call them whatever you feel like.
However, the fandom pretty much universally uses Thestrals as they are a actual mythological bat-winged equine species (they also featured in "Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix", which instigated it and pretty much guaranteed its adoption.)
8415586
Ruh Roo
8415586
Huh. You learn something new every day.
I actually liked the 'Medici' more than the 'Rahs.' It's just so stereotypically "cool fantasy name." Might just be me, though.
So adorable we need more of the puppy and he's race there cool interesting lore and cute
Did I really just read about the bucking Medici in a My Little Pony fic did this just happen???? And to look it up and find out that indeed the Medici are involved with the early history of ICE CREAM of all things YE GODS HAVE MERCY ON ME !!!!!
8417604
I like weird lore things and super details
Someone should get Discord an idea.
Maybe you should resort to knee-length boots instead of hoof covers.
I won't be surprise to find this mark all over Ponyville.
I saw this in several points in this story. But since this is from Celestia's point of view, shouldn't it be 'Somepony' instead?
Kudos for the Elder Scrolls Thieves' Guild marks reference.
Is there a reason you keep spelling Equus as "Equss," though? It's distracting, which is annoying, which is not-good. :p
8415593
Actually, the thestrals in Harry Potter seem to have been created out of whole cloth by Ms. Rowling. There is no mythological creature that I have found mention of that comes close to her undead carnivorous bat-horses.
A few folks have tried to link them to a couple mythological horses, but none of them holds much water for me, as they 1: don't have wings of any sort, and 2: aren't undead or even particularly near-dead appearing.
I'm not a fan of the use of the thestral name for the bat ponies, because they're not undead (undead are abominations, destroy! pally powers, activate!) and because it's something made up in living memory, so anypony using it gets linked to the Harrer Potty stuff even when they didn't want to be.
8443267
Hmmm understandable on the undead part.[ SMITE!] But thestrals has become the go to really. In SiS i made them half dragons but i've come around to see them as bat ponies. thestrals is just the popular name for them, like Derpy.
8443387
I know. That's why I don't fight against it. But it's kind of like calling all halflings hobbits. Hobbits are specific to Tolkein, whereas halfling has a previous use/root. I'd love to see a name for bat ponies (something that rolls off the tongue easier than bat ponies) that is a little more generic than the very specific thestral, which I'll probably always feel doesn't quite fit.
The main point of my previous comment was to point out that, no, thestrals do not have a mythological precursor. The name and beastie are both the product of J. K. Rowling's imagination.
DAT ENDING!!
Okay though, seriously, you just earned a spot in my Favorite list! I HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY WITH YOURSELF AUTHOR-SAN!! =P
This is definitely getting interesting, and funny at the same time. It's making me wonder, has anyone ever actually died due to cuteness?
Zero fucks given about the actual date. She's too old for that shit, yo
Yes, that's extremely dangerous
Haaaahahaha.
I have a niece like that
Oh no
Probably for the best, yes.
Heh. I don't think she could ever keep a cat
Fairly sure that towards Celestia that would be more playfulness and not actual protectiveness anyway.
Hah. A guard kitten.
I don't see much point in a "mare" pun in the name of a male who isn't even a pony
Well played
Yiiiikes.
Though odd that they didn't get the reason for the break-in out of them when they clearly caught them all.
Haaahahahaha
Hehe. "Stay the hell away from this place"
Hee. An interesting alternate explanation for why Cadence became her babysitter
Remarks and corrections:
> How Much is that doggie in the window
Something wrong with the capitalisation in that title. Either use standard title capitalization rules, or just do only the beginning.
Also, the chapter title has a question mark, and the one inside the chapter text doesn't.
> trying to maul any one who got close to Twilight
"anyone"; one word.
> Shining had always wanted a dog it seemed and now he had one … sorta.
Commas around "it seemed".
> but i think that is due to
"but [I] think"
I’m not against his over protectiveness
"overprotectiveness"; one word.
> and fireproof spelled everything
"and [fireproof-spelled] everything"
> It's sorta’ cute
That apostrophe shouldn't be there. Rarely, it's written as "sort’a", but generally there's no apostrophe at all.
> who had changed the face of Equss with his work
> Several races of Equss
Again, the name generally used is "Equus", not "Equss".
> Bringing Pony kind
As parallel to "mankind" that should be "ponykind", as one word... and probably without the capital letter. It's just a word.
In fact, that's an error I've seen a couple of times before here; species names generally don't get capital letters.
> A thieve’s guild mark signifying danger.
"A [thieves’] guild"
> This chapter was already half way done when he request to be adorable popped up.
"halfway". Also, uh, "when [the] request", I assume?
Honestly, this reminded me a lot of the Harry Potter series' mark for the Deathly Hallows, only upside down.
qph.ec.quoracdn.net/main-qimg-71f5ef24bf442a2470f67f706c2de043
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Nah, it's Skyrim shadowmarks
images.uesp.net//8/8b/SR-icon-shadowmark-Danger.png
Danger, in this case.
8689686
Ah. That makes much more sense.
I kind of like the idea of Cadence being Twilight's foalsitter AND bodyguard. It kind of makes sense.
Also, do you happen to have a picture of Rahs or what he is, at least?
8712051
Fraid not. was hoping someone would draw him though.
8641501
Actualy the pun isnt on' mare' thats how his name is spelled. The pun is Lark which is a type of bird.
8872087
That wasn't my point, though. My point was that besides that, you also changed the first name to a horse pun, and it seemed completely misplaced on a griffon
And no, "Emeril" is not spelled "Emareial" at all...
8872195
I didnt even realize i changed it. Thats rather scary i thought i just changed the last.
8872196
Ponies have infected your brain. It happens
I survive my own dog doing that and it doesn't affect me...
Celestia you need resistance and quickly!
8885748
Perhaps just him though he is floofy, but a floofy filly Twilight too? I'm possible. The only things cuter are a filly Fluttershy and Thestral foals.
Truly, one of Equestrias, NO, the worlds, greatest minds
SHE'S ON TO US!!!
9044926
QUICK! Hide the toys in the vault!
cant stop laughing that's good comedy GG so happy I waited for this to be finished before reading it
I know im guna love it all the way
The Moon Dog’s diet was the source of less issue than I thought. Several races of Equss eat meat, and as such I employ a number of chiefs for any ambassadorial visits that might require culinary skills with something beyond pony.
I forget, is it Equss or Equs?
Chefs, not chiefs
Do you mean to say, "culinary skills with something beyond a ponie's diet," since to me anyway, "culinary skills with something beyond pony," it sounds like they serve pony.
Again, I like the spin on events, and of course the way you focus on everything going on and don't ramble about one specific character. It's also interesting to read it from the perspective of Celestia's daily diary/letter entry, in part because there's no dialogue.
Heh, and here I thought you can't write a story without dialogue... ya proved me wrong.
Rather like this so far.
So there's an active thieves' guild in Equestria, hmm? I wonder if this version of Celestia is wise enough to actually use them when needed? She did mention that some of her servants and guards were formerly part of the underworld. One wonders if some of them still keep some contacts.
Or be charged with mass murder using cute as the weapon
Most revolutionary invention in Equstria was not the locomotive nor the study in advanced magical arrays but ice cream. THANK RAHS U DA MAN... I MEAN PONY
Mi Amoré Cadenza her nickname or the name she prefers is Cadence