Doggie shy
Twilight Gets a Puppy
By TDR
Doggie shy
[ South of the bad lands]
A mountain side exploded in flames.
“ HUZZAH! Thee is little better than an over grown iguana, does thee truly call that fire? We have had ice cream warmer than that!” Princess Luna shouted lashing out with her magic knocking rubble aside as a massive form lunged through the mountain after her.
The huge red Dragon roared, claws out stretched to grab at the moon Princess only for a lash of her tail to bat the ship sized claw away as if it was nothing.
“Is that the best thee have... bollocks!” Luna cursed as she was hit by a boulder thrown by the Dragon's tail.
Princess Celestia sighed rubbing her hoof against her temple.
“Sorry about this, I didn't realize her manners were this lacking after so long.” Celestia muttered taking a sip of tea.
The Princess was seated at a small table on a cliff side overlooking the mountain range where Luna and the massive dragon were. The table looked like it was carved out of a single white gemstone with a gem studded tea set sitting on it.
“It's quite alright. My son Char needed a bit of exercise. He can't go living in mommies basement forever.” the Dragon on the other side of the table from Celestia chuckled.
The figure sipping tea with Celestia was a lithe Dragon, approximately the same size as Celestia, not including her tail, with shimmering sapphire hued scales. Her form was streamlined seemingly designed more for speed and quickness than brute strength like most Dragons. She almost seemed fragile like something a glass blower might make as a decoration.
Celestia knew otherwise of course, the pair of them had not met on the best terms at first, but they had come to a understanding. The Solar Goddess had found it was not wise to underestimate the Goddess of Winds, Storms, and Dragons.
“You didn't come here just for tea, Celestia.” the Dragoness stated.
“Of course not, but I'm not about to pass up your tea. I have yet to figure out how you managed to spice it like this. I've been unable to recreate it, you simply must let me have the recipe Bleu.”
“If I did that you'd never come by unless there was trouble.” Bleu chuckled eating one of the cookies Celestia had brought.”Let me guess a few of the louts have been making plays on your land again?”
“About the size of it, we've run off the ones causing the most trouble already, we've left the ones alone that are far enough from civilization not to bother anyone. Still there is one near Ponyville that I told my student to watch out for. I expect he just want's to take a nap, but anything could happen. I asked Twilight and her friends to ask him to move in case his presence became problematic.” Celestia shrugged.
“You're letting your student deal with it?”Bleu asked causing Celestia to sigh.
“I called her my student again didn't I? She's not really my student anymore due to some issues with Luna's return, she graduated already, though I still send her the occasional bit of work to keep her busy and on the government payroll.” Celestia explained. “Seriously she and her brothers will figure out they can just ask him to leave politely and maybe bribe him a bit. I doubt anything will come of it. Worst case I'll head out there when I get back and give him the boot.”
“I shall remember you said that.” Bleu smiled showing far too many teeth for her lithe muzzle.
“I also wanted to point out that Luna was back.” Celestia added as the castle sized Dragon in the distance went flying back over the mountain range he smashed through, due to an upper cut from Luna. “ Though I am sure you have already heard that.”
“I have. I am surprised you came to see me rather than Kaz first though.” Bleu muttered.
“Luna has just gotten over her discovery of caffeine. It is all but assured Kaz will challenge Luna to a drinking contest.” Celestia sighed.” This is going to be a difficult month.”
“Perhaps more so than you think. Velkorn came by.”
Really? I've not seen her in decades. How is she?”
“Stoic and mysterious as ever. She knew you were coming here soon and said to give you the message that the next few years were going to be troubled for Equestria.”
“And the Goddess of the wild couldn't tell me her predictions herself?” Celestia scoffed.
“She said she still owed you fifty bits and she didn't have it on hoof.” Bleu smirked as Celestia rolled her eyes.
“Of course she doesn't. She can see the future and constantly loses in the casinos.” Celestia rubbed her temples with a hoof again as the larger Dragon fighting Luna started throwing parts of the mountain at her.” Alright lay it on me, what did that crazed zebra say this time?”
“Just random words and only the first worries me.” Bleu muttered. “Madness, Envy, Lust, Magic, Greed, and Pride, all with a fiery purple blue center.”
“How delightfully cryptic. Remind me to fire up Canterlot's unused dungeons to welcome any riddle speaking prophets so they can be encouraged to speak clearly.” Celestia sighed trying to ignore that her sister had some how gotten a Dragon the size of a castle into a head lock and was trying to make him tap out.
“You know who she means by Madness.” Bleu cautioned.
“He's locked in stone. The Element's of Harmony put him there.” Celestia
“They also put your sister on the moon, and he's been gone that much longer.” Bleu pointed out.” Those rocks are big on second chances.”
“I'll double check when we get back just to be safe. Still that is an odd list.” Celestia considered. All seeming to be threats except magic. And what does fiery purple blue center mean?
“Magenta?” Bleu suggests
“I think that's more of a red blue. And Fiery....... I hate prophesies.” Celestia sighed.” It's not even a proper riddle. It's just a bunch of words you understand 'after' everything's already happened. There's not even a point in telling any one if it's going to happen! If we try to change it we make it happen if we don't try to change it then that makes it happen. why even bother going around spouting such drivel.”
“You're just annoyed she's always been right.” Bleu smiled as Celestia snorted. Both of them were trying to ignore the massive Dragon behind them trying to belly flop onto a stunned alicorn.
“Your other son still claiming to be a Dragon Lord?” Celestia asked changing the subject with another sip of tea.
Bleu smiled at that but nodded.” He's thinking of retiring in a few years and doing some sort of contest thing with that old scepter of mine to choose a successor. I rather hope my granddaughter wins it. She's a bright one the Dragon's could use some one like her as a leader.”
“You could lead them.”
“Pffft forget that, give up all my free time for petty little issues? “ Bleu laughed.” No thanks I'll leave that to ponies who enjoy that sort of crap.”
“It was only supposed to be for a couple of hundred years.” Celestia sighed. “ I got carried away.”
Both of them look up as a flash of green fire appears over Celesta's head. Bleu sniffs the air blinking as her smirk widened.
“So when were you going to tell me you hatched that egg I gave you?” Bleu asked as Celestia regarded the scroll.
“Shoot, I knew I forgot something. I need to tell you about the Sparkle siblings.” Celestia sighed.” Let me see what the letter is about first however. Twilight tends not to send me things any more unless it's important.”
Celestia unrolled the scroll while in the back ground the massive Dragon was being swung around in a circle by his tail.
“Dear Princess Celestia. The dragon is gone.” Celestia smiled.
“Well that was fast.” Bleu chuckled.” Just like one of my exs”
“The red Dragon was snoring out great clouds of smoke that sent everyone into a tizzy here in Ponyville.” Celestia continued.
“Oh shards that is one of my exs.” Bleu face clawed.
“Gathering up the usual crew, minus Spike as I feared the Dragon might take offense to another Dragon being present and be more hostile thinking it was protecting it's horde.” Celestia read on. “ Honestly I should have been more concerned with Rarity.”
“Spike? His name is Spike hmm?” Bleu grinned.
Celestia's eyes narrow.”He's one of yours isn't he?”
“Maaaaaybe.” Bleu grinned.
“Lovely that makes the three of them royalty..... more paperwork.” Celestia growled as Luna was flung past them with the large Dragon chasing after her.
“Three of them?” Bleu asked.
“The Sparkles... after Twilight hatched Spike and spawned Rahs I listed the three of them as siblings in the records..... wait...there's four of them... Shining Armor..” Celestia's grin widened. “Oh this is priceless and no one can even protest it. They don't have to hide the fact they are dating if he's a prince.”
“Celestia … what did you do and who is Shining Armor?” Bleu demanded.
“The brother of your son by Equestrian law, which with a little finagling will also make him a Prince. Hidden royalty and all that, no sense connecting him to you. Though it would be interesting to see their reactions to having to deal with another Dragon Prince like that Kirin you had a few thousand years ago.” Celestia smiled as the massive Dragon was flung past them with Luna chasing him this time.
“I want a better explanation than that after you finish the letter.” Bleu snorted a bit of lightning. “ This chess master side of you is why we fought in the first place.”
“Oh don't worry about it, it just means there's going to be a wedding soon that the nobles can't do anything about.” Celestia chuckled.” But yes back to the letter.. lets see, prepped gear marched up a mountain, Fluttershy freaked out about the Dragon.....”
“Smart one there. You're supposed to freak out about Dragons.” Bleu commented.
“Don't be too impressed Twilight has described Fluttershy as a mare who's afraid of her own shadow, yet will treat a raging maticore like a lost kitty.” Celestia explained before going back to reading.” Seems she caused a great deal of trouble getting up the mountain to the point Rahs just carried her.”
“If she was that bad why bring her?” Bleu shrugged.
“Twilight was probably banking on her expertise with animals also carrying over to Dragons.”Celestia read on. “ Which according to Twilight doesn't exist. Fluttershy knows nothing of Dragons and the whole plan was a waste. Which means that Twilight was thrown for a loop and was practically useless herself.”
“She wrote that?”
“No I just know how my student reacts to a plan she makes failing.” Celestia pointed out as another mountain exploded when Luna was tackled into it.
“You taught her in your own image hmm?” Bleu grinned.
“I'm not that bad.” Celestia read on. “Let's see. Twilight went in to negotiate anyway and was promptly ignored as the dragon smoked her out and went back to sleep.”
“Mmmhmm sounds about right for Charon.” Bleu nodded sagely.” I had to throw his tail out of bed most days.”
“Rarity tried next with flattery and it almost worked until the Dragon noticed she had slipped on some of his horde to try and sneak out with it.” Celestia face hooved.
“Ha, I like her.” Bleu laughed. “ Ballsy, very ballsy. Also very dumb, but that took a pair to try and steal from a dragon right under his nose.”
“Rahs attempted to persuade him next and managed a beautiful speech that caused Pinkie and Fluttershy to cry and had me tearing up a bit as well. Clearly he was paying attention in some of your classes.” Celestia read on. ”I am certain, had the idiot said it in Pony instead of Moon Dog, it would have worked. Instead he was chased out of the cave because of all the annoying barking.”
Celestia couldn't help chuckle at that though she returned to the letter at Bleu's confused look.
“Pinkie Pie tried to throw it a party. That went as well as expected.” Celestia read. “ And then when all that failed Rainbow Dash tried brute force.”
“Is she still alive?” Bleu questioned a bit worried despite the fact the massive form of her son was currently punching himself in the face behind her as Luna moved his arm with her magic.
“Why art though striking thine-self!? Why art though striking thine-self!?” Luna bellowed.
Celestia read on and nodded.” It seems so,because Fluttershy stepped up when the Dragon was ready to kill them all and brow beat him into submission.”
“Wait Fluttershy is the cowardly one she was complaining about earlier right?” Bleu questioned.
“Yes according to Twilight she locked eyes with the Dragon after a blast of smoke flung everyone into a bolder and acted like the Dragon was a naughty five years old and she was his mother.” Celestia blinked re reading that part again. “She actually made the Dragon cry she laid into it so hard.”
“Oh I really want to meet this lot.” Bleu cackled.” They sound fun.”
Both of them ignored the massive Dragon behind them using a uprooted tree as a golf club to knock Luna into the distance.
“Lets see, went back to town, was going to write a rather strongly worded letter about you sending us into danger again though I reread your letter first and found I had misread the intent of it. So instead I would like to apologize for being so willing to suspect you of trying to manipulate us into doing your dirty work again and putting us in danger so easily. Signed Twilight Sparkle.” Celestia finished.
“She's got you dead to rights 'chess master'” Bleu scoffs.
“Normally yes, but not this time. I have been trying to tone that back when dealing with her.” Celestia sighed noticing that it was getting rather dark rather quickly. She turned her head to look over at what her sister and Bleu's son were doing and froze her eyes widening.
“LUNA NO!” Celestia bellowed calling out in the Royal Canterlot Voice.
Princess Luna of Equestria was standing atop one of the few remaining mountains on her back legs with her forelegs lifted high in the air touching the surface of her moon which she was readying to smash the massive Dragon in the valley below her with.
“Overkill much?” Bleu grinned looking up at the sky and only seeing the moon filling it.
“LUNA PUT THAT THING BACK WHERE YOU GOT IT FROM OR SO HELP ME!”
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I see that Luna plays well with others!
Hit’im again!
Luna...
Hmmm, is this some kinds of one-word prophecy (aka spoiler)? So, I will guess ...
Madness = Discord
Envy = Chysalis
Lust = ? (Sombra?)
Magic = Lesson Zero
Greed = Spike
Pride = Rainbow Dash (Mare-Do-Well?)
Hmmmm... So, is this some sort of Alicorn/Dragon courting behavior here? Are we going to end up with another Kirin prince in the near future?
I damn near pissed my self at the ending. This is so good. Keep it up. 😁
Oh! Oh! I like her like that. Not giving a damn about how she looks compared to her sister and instead just being herself. LOVE seeing that "side" of Luna.
. . . .
But yes, do put the moon back Ms. Nightqueen. The world kind of needs it NOT cracked over the head of some unruly dragon whelp.
I just like to think after this Luna is just like a sad child who got denied a toy
My shot to guess the prophecy.
Madness = Discord
Envy = Nightmare moon
Lust = Chysalis
Magic = Starlight Glimmer
Greed = Tirek
Pride = Sombra
this is why moon princess is best princess
If this story were not already a favourite of mine, this chapter would have done it.
This was glorious, two errors though.
Unless the dragon had one hanging somewhere, the expression is "thrown for a loop."
Fandangle apparently means to steal or rip off. The word you're looking for is fanagle, no d.
8626193
My take on it.
Madness (Chaos)= Discord
Envy ()= Chrysalis
Lust (Love/Crystal Heart) = Sombra
Magic (, Friendship is) = Twilight's Ascension
Greed (Power) = Tirek
Pride (Arrogance) = Starlight Glimmer
This is largely based on that list being an in-order type of thing.
Will figure out possible alternate/more-specific meanings as i think about it.
8626193
I'd probably say:
Madness = Discord
Envy = Trixie
Lust = Chrysalis
Magic = Sombra
Greed = Tirek
Pride = Sunset Shimmer
Dang it Luna.
Just saying, my physics class did some calculations involving other large masses being near earth and affecting the gravity and... Well, if Luna really had the moon right above a mountain top, then a very large chunk of that area (more like all of it and around) would have been ripped out of the ground and flying towards the moon at extremely fast speeds killing everything there.
Those last words said/yelled by Celestia made me think of that scene in Monsters Inc
Best chapter yet!
bolder → boulder
Many plurals were apostrophe'd.
Element's → Elements,
Dragon's → Dragons
Ex's → exes
it's horde → its hoard
Luna its all fun in games till you bring forth the moon to hurt somedragone, shame on you.
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Pretty good guesses and some might be correct.
8626196
No. The dragon talked smack Luna talked smack back, fight broke out. TGaP Luna has no chill.
8626348
Fixed
8626392
I don't gotta follow physics cause Magic. But yeah some ponies and other races were noticeably freaked out. She also probably started a cult or three.
Dude... This was hilarious. We so need more chapters of Luna shenanigans while Celly talks with other gods
Great chapter.
Great chapter! Absolutely loved it!
Wasn't there going to be 3 epilogues for Boast Barkers instead of just 2?
So Bleu is Spike's Mama?
How did they not notice something that big sooner?
Madness = Discord
Envy = Trixie
Lust = Chrysalis
Magic = want it need it/trixie/starlight/sunset
Greed = can only be spikes greedgrowth
Pride = Rainbow/flim&flam
missing some quotations here
MOVIE REFERENCE!
Oh man, I love this version of Luna so hard!
*insert Kamehameha meme here*
8626809
Yeah the third one bled into this.
8626819
Maaaaybe
Madness = Discord
Envy = Sunset
Lust = ? (crysalis?)
Magic = Glim Glam
Greed = Sombra
Pride = ?????
8628044
Pride = Stygian/Pony of Shadows (caused by Starswirl's pride, not his)
DAT ENDING THO!! <3
8628044
Shouldn't Sunset be Magic and Starlight Envy?
Sunset took the Element of Magic for her plan, and Starlight was envious, first of Sunburst, then of Twilight and her friends.
8626634
that cookie down !
Um. I thought Rarity stayed behind with Applejack?
And you suddenly went typo-city in this. O_o
Waaaaaitaminute. If Spike is Bleu's son that means he's Ember's uncle. Welp, there's a massive unavoidable torpedo into one of my favorite ships.
*salutes and goes down with the smoldering wreck*
8632371
Spike may be that in canon anyway hisorigins are still a mystery
8628044
I'd say Pride is Tirek.
8632371
*insert me playing Taps on trumpet*
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I know it's been months, but seriously, no one seems to be connecting the timeline.
Madness = Discord - Chaos
Envy = Chrysalis - Changeling (Change into those who have things she want, aka love.)
Lust = Sombra - Lusts for Power.
Magic = Sunset - Celestia's original student, who had more magic than Twilight at a younger age.
Greed = Tirek - Can't get enough of that magic
Pride = Starlight - Can't admit she was wrong, and that she is bad. She has too much pride.
8836292
i'm thinking more
madness = discord
envy = sunset
lust = chrysalis
magic = starlight
greed = tirek
pride = sombra
Hmmm, I think I leik this Woona! :woonaemotethatwestilldonthave:
derpicdn.net/img/2017/3/16/1389009/large.gif
I love all the little chapters like this one that you've done there always a laugh one way or another. Oh and umm... Who let luna play god... Again. Serouisly whos bright idea was it to give that crazy, depressive, antisocial mare control of a celestial body. Dont get me wrong luna is my favourite princess and second fav pony but dont give any mental troubled creature godly powers ever.
Also side note who else got the orignal monsters inc reference. Heres most of the movie quote.
"Sulley, you're not supposed to name it. Once you name it, you start getting attached to it. Now put that thing back where it came from, or so help me. Hey. We're rehearsing a scene for the upcoming company play called (Put That Thing Back Where It Came From or So Help Me.) It's a musical. Put that thing back where it came from or so help me. So help me. So help me. And cut."
So here are my guesses
Mai villain list
Madness= Discord - no question
Envy= Chrysalis - wants whatever she doesn’t have; power, love, country that’s better then the hive in the bad lands
Lust= Sombra-Think he was Celestia’s former love and was to blame for Nightmare Moon see Luna’s rant of ger sisters taste is stallions/ general lust for power
Magic= Sunset Shimmer - Celestia’s former student
Greed= Trek - wants all the Magic’s
Pride= Starlight Glimmer - thinks she knows best and won’t admit she is wrong
Alternatively
Madness= still only Discord
Envy= Trixie alicorn amulet to try to take Rahs from twilight
Lust= Twilight going after Big Mac want it need it spell or love potion /any other romance options going after the Sparkle siblings/ Rarity trying to get with Blueblood at Grand Galipping Gala
Magic = Sunsets Shimmer/ Starlight Glimmer/ Trixie(again)/ Moondancer
Greed = possibly Spike/ Sirens/ Dragons/
Pride = could literally be any villain or anypony