Pack of One
Twilight Gets a Puppy
By TDR
Pack of One
[ Two weeks later.]
They hated her. They had too. She failed and they hated her for it. She hadn't seen it coming and they knew it. They had to hate her.
They were avoiding her, no one had come by at all in two weeks.
She had to know.
She had to know for sure.
[Ponyville]
“So Princess Celestia appointed me ambassador to the Wolf Fangs. Granted Lady Jynx is currently considering changing the pack name to the Jade Hounds to try and seem less threatening. On top of everything else I have going on it nets me a rather nice bit of extra funding from Canterlot for doing what I was doing any way.” Rarity explained.
“Huh, so she finally figured out how to pay you then.” Twilight nodded.
“What?” Rainbow Dash asked looking over at Twilight. The three of them had gone out to lunch, Rahs had been invited as well but he turned it down. It had been a busy day so far and the small break was nice.
“ Fluttershy has the Crown Wildlife Rehabilitation title, Sweet Apple Acres is a Heritage Site, the sizable hazard bonuses the weather team had added to their pay, my library funding on top of my student grants and assistant stipends.” Twilight listed. “Now Rarity is an ambassador to a pack of Diamond Dogs she's already been dealing with. It's Princess Celestia's way to put us on the payroll for being Element Bearers without letting the nobles know.”
“Hmm, that does make sense, and it would explain that first bonus had some sort of back pay bonus.” Rarity pondered.
“Wait, so what did Pinkie Pie get?” Rainbow Dash asked.
“Premier Pink Party Planner of Ponyville.” Twilight sighed.
“What?” Rarity questioned.
“Wow, how did the Princess get that one past the hoity toitys?” Rainbow Dash asked.
“She's paying it out of her cake fund.” Twilight sighed.
“ She has a cake fund?” Dash blinked.
“Ooh scandalous.” Rarity rolled her eyes. “But enough about that. It's not what we all want to discuss right now. There are things to finish planing.”
“Right. But first I wanna know something else. How is he. No ones seen him in much in two weeks..” Dash questioned.
“Applejack has....” Twilight sighed.
“That's because Applejack invited you three to stay at her home while Golden Oaks was being repaired. I would be astounded if he had managed to avoid her in her own orchards.” Rarity explained.
“He's sleeping a lot. And eating a lot, but he's still not talking much.” Twilight sighed. “ I know he's healing, but it's weird he isn't even making quips like he used to.”
“Given what was done to him, that is of little surprise, he is going to be somewhat off for a bit I expect.” Rarity sighed.
“ Yes, well, given no pony will tell me what happened.” Twilight glared at Rarity who simply shook her head.
“Darling, all three Princesses told me not to say anything and let him work it out. While I would love to tell you as I think you knowing might help, I was forced to Pinkie Promise I would not.” Rarity sighed.
“Yep, we're not getting anything out of her. You don't break those.” Rainbow Dash nodded.
“I don't even know what a Pinkie Promise is aside from something Pinkie was blabbing about back when Fluttershy became a model. I was a bit too busy trying to get you two to talk to each other to pay much attention.” Twilight shrugged.
“Yeah well, let me put it to you this way. If any one in town gives you one of those, whatever they promised, they will do.” Rainbow Dash shuddered. “ Or else.”
“What even is that mare?” Twilight questioned.
“Hard to say. Though has anyone seen her lately?” Rarity asked curiously.
“Flutters and I saw her this morning. We were getting some of the decorations prepared and she popped up out of nowhere.” Dash sighed. “ She didn't really seem right and kept asking a bunch of questions that didn't make much sense. We told her we had to house sit for Harry and she seemed to have bought it.”
“Harry?” Twilight asked.
“Fluttershy's bear.” Rarity explained.
“And that WORKED?” Twilight demanded.
“Well enough that she left so we could get everything out to the farm.” Dash shrugged.
“I also think she was stalking me earlier when I went into Sugar Cube Corner.” Twilight pondered.
Rarity and Dash stared at Twilight.
“Please tell me you didn't get the cake for her from the place she works.....” Rarity sighed.
“Well it's not like I have a lot of choices around here.” Twilight sighed. “ Mrs. Cake already agreed to make it and it's not like I could have gotten to Canterlot and back before this afternoon.”
“Did the cake get there?” Rainbow Dash asked.
“Of course it did, Fluttershy was perfect. “ Rarity nodded.
“That reminds me. Wasn't Gummy's birthday the day before hers?” Rainbow Dash stated. “I could have sworn she threw a party for him last year for the entire town right before her birthday.”
“Hmm, I believe you are correct. Though she hasn't this year. Also with the new Guards in the area I would think she would have thrown at least one of her welcome parties.” Rarity frowned.
“You don't think somethings wrong do you?” Twilight muttered. “ We are being a little secretive around her for the past few days, do you think she thinks we're avoiding her?”
“Oh dear.” Rarity muttered.
“Well that answers that question. Spike gets out of school soon. I'll send him to check on her.” Twilight considered. “ We still have things to do.”
“Is that wise? No offense to Spike there, but we don't want Pinkie Pie to know what's going on.” Rainbow Dash frowned her ears flattening to her head.
“It's fine, I'll tell him it's a secret mission. Though if we just asked he'd probably go just to see what was wrong with Pinkie Pie any way.” Twilight shrugged.
[later]
“Wow.. what a spread.” Spike stated drooling over the massive pile of gems Pinkie had put before him. While impressed with the grub, he also took note of how off Pinkie Pie seemed today Certain odd mannerism set off alarm bells. Twilight was right to send him. “ What's the occasion?”
“No occasion, and they're all yours.....” Pinkie Pie grinned.
Suddenly Spike was pulled back in the chair as Gummy clamped down on his tail and Pinkie Pie turned on a light in his face.
“.....All you have to do it talk!” Pinkie snapped.
“Oh... it's one of those parties.” Spike rolled his eyes.
“What?” Pinkie Pie blinked.
“ It's like how my saying water boarding in Goatanimo Bay sounds fun if you don't know what either of those things are.” Spike sighed.
“That does sound fun, but I don't get it. Is that a Oubliettes and Ogres reference?” Pinkie Pie pondered.
“Actually it is.” Spike smiled.” Goatanimo Bay is ruled by a insane dictator and water boarding is when the Elementalists make planks out of water and smack you around. Those things are a plus three normally and a eight versus fire creatures.”
“Oh well. Wait, what does that have to do with talking?” Pinkie Pie blinked.
“It doesn't, it has more to do with expecting one thing and getting another. I expected some tasty gems and instead I'm getting a pop quiz.” Spike grumbled. “ And Miss Cheerilee already gave us one of those this morning.”
“That's not exactly what I was going for but...... hey wait a minute. You're trying to distract me from what's really going on aren’t you?”” Pinkie Pie accused.
“Yep.” Spike admitted.” Seriously though how is that little alligator so strong? I should be able to drag him the chair and half the table over enough to get to those gems.”
“He works out.” Pinkie Pie stated.”Wait no. I ask the questions around here!
“Well then ask one.” Spike shrugged.
“What are you hiding?” Pinkie queried.
“Rahs and Twilight's Hearths Warming presents.” Spike offered.
“No! I mean what are you really hiding?” Pinkie Demanded.
“A Fleur Di Lis swimsuit calendar.” Spike admitted.
“That's not what I mean.” Pinkie growled slapping her face with a hoof.
“Well you're going to have to be more specific. I'm also hiding Shining's favorite d20, cause he still has my Sir Spike miniature, and the seventh and eleventh volume of Encyclopedia Equestria.” Spike listed.
“Not what I wanted to know, but why are you hiding only two volumes?” Pinkie Pie blinked.
“Because it drives Twilight crazy to see a bunch of large books with some missing and she forgot to pack a gem or two in my lunch Monday.” Spike explained.
“Well that's mean.” Pinkie Pie admitted. “ But no. I want you to confess?”
“ Confess pfft not likely. I told Twilight she ate that doughnut while in a studying zone out, I didn't touch it.”
“ NOOO!! “ Pinkie shouted clearly frustrated. “I will learn what you know!”
“Do you expect me to talk?” Spike smirked roguishly.
“No, mister Spike I expect you to d..... wait yes I do expect you to talk.” Pinkie ranted, stopping suddenly and narrowing her eyes at the little dragon. “ Wait a minute you've been playing me. You're too good at this. You're a spy!”
“Yup... my tux is in the cleaners though.”
“Arrrgh, just tell me what's going on! Or else you'll never get the gems!”
“I have a question for you first.” Spike smiled.
“Ehh?” Pinkie Pie blinked.
“Did you really think I’d come alone?”Spike asked putting on a pair of sunglasses.
“Ehh?” Pinkie asked again.
“CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS NINJA CAVERLY YAY!!!”
“What!?” Pinkie gasped as the trio of fillies rushed into the room wearing black pajamas. The three of them dog piling on Pinkie Pie as Spike sat back in the chair, steepling his claws and letting the light reflect off the lenses of his glasses.
“NO” Pinkie Pie yelped slipping out from under the Crusaders who all adopted kung fu poses that looked like Applebloom's dance moves, save Sweetiebelle who tried and fell over onto her rump. “I'm not finished yet!”
“Is it just me or did her hair git all straight?” Applebloom asked.
“Madame Le Flour ATTACK!” Pinkie Pie shouted.
“Do what now? Scootaloo asked before being hit with a large bag of flour and bowled over crashing back into a pile of Pinkie's things.
“Protect me Sir Lintsalot!” Pinkie ordered.
“What?” Sweetiebelle demanded before she gained a face full of lint.” AHHHHH GET IT OFF GET IT OFF!!”
“Seriously?” Spike questioned.
“Get them Mr. Turnip!” Pinkie Pie commanded.
Applebloom didn't even manage to get a confused' What' out before she was pelted by turnips and had a bucket dropped over her head.
Spike regarded this for a while watching Pinkie cackled like a villain before he narrowed his eyes taking off his sunglasses and hopping off the chair.
The little dragon stormed over to the pink mare dodging the flailing Applebloom and the panicked Sweetiebelle and dragging along a toothless alligator that was still clinging to his tail.
“You dare come after me!? Rocky stop this interloper!” Pinkie Pie menaced.
Spike tilted his head looking at the precariously piled stack of rocks between Pinkie Pie and himself and promptly kicked them over.
“ROCKY NOOOOO!!!” Pinkie Pie wailed. “I will avenge you! I swear there will be cupcakes.”
“Nope, stop, that's it, we're done.” Spike ordered. ”I've been around Rahs enough to know when some ones ham acting, and around Twilight to know when I’m seeing signs of a break down. Freaky hair aside you are definitely going into the latter. What is wrong?”
Spike stood there staring up at Pinkie Pie.
“Nothing's wrong really....” Pinkie Pie began.
Spike stared harder and Applebloom managed to join him after getting the bucket from her head.
“Seriously I’m fine.....” Pinkie Pie muttered not meeting their gaze as Sweetiebelle joined them in staring at Pinkie.
“Maybe I’m going a little overboard?” Pinkie Pie admitted.
Scootaloo didn't join them, as she was still off on the far side of the room punching the bag of flour.
“Take that , and that! Jump me will you.” Scootaloo snapped.
“Scootaloo.” Applebloom sighed.
“What?” the small pegasus demanded, her black pajamas covered in flour. “ She started it!” Scootaloo scoffed striking the bag one last time before trotting over to the others.
“One more time Pinkie. Tell me what's wrong or I call Princess Celestia out here, she was usually pretty good in calming down Twilight.” Spike explained.
Pinkie stared at the foals a moment more and their stern glares. With the exception of Scootaloo all of them had older sisters who lost it from time to time. It was their job to keep them in line. While none of them were related to Pinkie Pie, she was still a friend.
Scootaloo darted back to the table and turned the light on Pinkie Pie. “Spill it.”
Pinkie Pie blinked, her eyes watering up before she started bawling.
“EveryonehatesmebecausemyPinkieSensedidn'twarnthemthatRahswasgonnagetdrugoffbyDiamondDogsandeveryoneisavoidingmeandhidingsomethingthattheywon'ttellmeandi'venoideawhattodocauseidon'tevenknowwhatsortoftwitchthatwouldbeandRahswashurtrealbadIfeellikei'mthatponywhotoldeveryonethatTomFlankssurvivedinthatbookwhereheandthesupersuitcasesweresupposedtobetossedintoavolcanoit'sterribleandidon'tknowwhattodocauseeveryponyhatesme!!!!” Pinkie Pie bawled.
The crusaders blinked staring at the crying mare then looking at each other.
“Did any of yah git that?” Applebloom finally asked.
“She thinks everyone hates her because her pinkie sense didn't warn her that Rahs was gonna get foal napped.” Spike translated. “ Also something about a volcano.”
“Woah you understood that?” Sweetiebelle asked.
“Enough of it. Twilight's had me write things down when she's in 'the zone' and if she's super excited she talks super fast. Not as fast as that mind you, but enough.” Spike explained.
“While that's awesome that you caught that Spike. Why's she think that?” Applebloom praised.
“Cause I’ve barely seen any one in two weeks!” Pinkie Pie bawls.
“Uhh cause every ponies been busy. Duh.” Scootaloo shrugged.” Rainbow Dash and the weather patrol have had to coordinate with the Guards here in regards to the weather and the lay of the land.”
“We've had tah tap into some of our stores fer all tha extra ponies and we're making a lot of runs tah Ponyville.” Applebloom offered.
“My sisters back logged with all her work lately.” Sweetiebelle chimed in. “ And Fluttershy's trying to keep all the animals calm with the Guards stomping around.”
“Twilight's got to take care of the Library's restoration, plus keep tabs on Rahs.” Spike added tapping his chin with a claw. “ And Rahs... well he's not really been talking to any one. Besides there's another reason I’m pretty sure no one is mad at you. It's why we're here.”
“What? Why are you here?” Pinkie Pie asked.
“To keep you distracted until Rainbow Dash shows up.” Scootaloo yelled.
The door was shoved open at that point and the aforementioned mare poked her nose in the door.
“Whoa, what happened in here?” Dash questioned.
“Is it ready?” Applebloom asked.
“Yep, lets go.” Rainbow Dash smirked. “ You too Pinks..... you do something with your hair?”
[Later]
The party continued in full swing with Pinkie Pie back to normal dancing around with the others. Rahs had even come by for a little while Though he hadn't eaten much and had sat himself down in the corner to watch rather than participate any.
“So this whole time.” Applebloom frowned as she and Sweetiebelle sat with Spike who was happily devouring cake. Scootaloo was following Dash around like a lost puppy.“ She thought every pony was mad at her. And through all that she fergets it's her own birthday and she thinks the surprise party is her friends trying to have a party without her?”
“ That's what I gathered from this mess.” Spike nodded.
“Adults are weird.” Sweetiebelle theorized. “ And we didn't even get ninja warrior cutiemarks.”
“Welcome to my world.” Spike agreed.” Now can you guys help me get Gummy off my tail? He's starting to get annoying.”
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Daaaaaaaaang, Spike's good at what he does.
Okay this was a very funny chapter. Spike and CMC secret agents. that sound like a spin-off series.
8933294
Spike's Angels
It's because of chapters like this that this story is a favourite of mine.
noice
really love the rework of the episode for your story.
Love Spike's interrogation scene. He would make a great spy one day.
Well I think it's safe to say that while giving out info this Spike did a lot better holding up to the interrogation than canon Spike did.
Spike would make Bond proud
I have to give you props A
8933638
Canon Spike didn't know what was going on. TGaP Spike knew why he was there.
I am both terrified and in love with the fact that Spike is pulling a Gendo.
i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/015/575/Gendo_Ikari_by_Darthval.jpg
I saw that Cupcakes reference
Did Pinkie mention Joe verses the Volcano?
9242697
Yup
The paragraph before and after this was just so brilliant, but this tid-bit got me to laugh. Well played.
I'm surprised with myself. I understood half of that on the first try.
The Pink part of that title is very important
I actually made this joke to my coworkers a couple weeks back. Fantastic one fitting it in here. Though does that mean that Celestia has an organization that deals in torture in barely legal foreign soil? Even if it's in O&O, the idea had to come from somewhere.
I fucking lost it... My tummy still hurts from laughing so hard...
James Bond referance Nice!
Batman referance NEAT!
Way better reason for Pinkie Pie to lose it...
8933281
Little guy is so mature
8933294
Totaly digging the vibes.
8933295
O yeah! The idea is glorious
8933444
Humor is of the highest class (\(^.^)/)
8933504
Spike: Knight,Spy and Court Jester of Equestria
8933638
One Brother more had a lot of change in Storyline and development
Plane-ing? Is that like shipping?
But in the air!
Pinkie no
Pinkie yes!
10950059
Actually, planning is something you do in carpentry.
Unless one mother language is english i doubt one can get that in the first try or taking way to long
Gummy has quite some stamina to keep holding on to Spike
10950059
Neat
10982291
Really?
11262971
Yep, there's even a tool called a planner that very quickly and very easily makes a piece of wood as smooth and even as possible.
Scootaloo is adorable, Spike is hilarious, Pinkie is very Pie and this chapter is glorious
👍