• Member Since 12th Feb, 2015
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Petrichord


Have you any dreams you'd like to sell? (He/Him)

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For the past few weeks, Princess Celestia has been quite used to Daybreaker tempting her in her dreams. Unfortunately for Daybreaker, Celestia doesn't have much use for even greater power or the terrified fealty of others, and even threatening Celestia doesn't seem to perturb the princess in the slightest.

But Celestia wasn't prepared for a dream about making conversation over pancakes with Daybreaker. And she certainly wasn't expecting the loud-mouthed and melodramatic alicorn to be horrifyingly effective at crushing her will with breakfast and cold, twisted logic.



Now featured on Equestria Daily! (4/19/18)

All of my thanks to Door Belle, Garnot, Pearple Prose and Pascoite for helping me write this. I'm profoundly thankful for their help.

Indirectly inspired by the works of Boundlessanon.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 26 )

A very entertaining read. Daybreaker is such a fun character, and her role as Celestia's inner temptress makes sense. I particularly liked how you expanded on the moral of A Royal Problem, and with cute sisterly bonding to boot. 👍

Heh, lovely little story.

I love how the ad at the bottom of this story is for Applegate turkey breast. Funny stuff.

Of all the ways I've seen Princess Celestia depicted, this is the first I've seen of her as a fasting ascetic.

You've done a very good job portraying demonic temptation, my thanks for writing this excellent story.

8252493
It's not that, Celestia was just worried about her body image and how she appeared to her subjects. Remember Gabby Gums? The premise of this story is Celestia's own worries compounded by things like that. Those hurt a lot more than she would care to admit.

Wow.

"Pancakes"

Rated R for excessive breakfast violence.

All waffles, crepes, and similar breakfast pastries are advised to stay away from the theater.

You have been warned:pinkiecrazy:

I thought we could have breakfast together before you go back to sleep.

Now I am imagining Celestia and Luna having a breakfast party with Twilight and Cadence where they cast aside all decorum and really tuck in. Everything in excess! To enjoy the flavour of life, take big bites.
derpicdn.net/img/2015/2/22/835142/medium.png

<documentary voice="David Attenborough">
And here we seen the majestic alicorn of the day breaking her morning fast. She has successfully stalked and ambushed a platter of fresh crêpes migrating from the kitchen through her dining room domain. After bringing down the choicest morsels, she lets out a bellowing belch to alert any nearby alicorn competitors that this platter is marked for her and her alone. She violently tears into into its soft, fluffy pancakes, rending them end from end and smearing her muzzle with its sugary, syrupy maple lifeblood. This grim spectacle is repeated morning after morning, as the alicorn is an insatiable breakfast predator with a voracious appetite. A mature, fully grown alicorn is fully capable of consuming a stack of crêpes down to the platter in under a minute. A congress of alicorns like this can wipe out entire kitchens worth of pancakes in a single morning.
</documentary>

That was quite the read! I love the way you've depicted Celestia and Luna, along with Daybreaker. I certainly didn't expect such drama from pancakes!

How Season 1 Celestia would have responded, "Uh, excuse me... WHO are you supposed to be again? You're nothing like me! My dear Mother Faust didn't make me an overly emotional immature teenager with crushing self-doubt, you know. I HAVE been ruling a large successful nation for a thousand years, you know. Or maybe you don't. You don't exactly strike me as all that clever; only as someone a person of rather limited life experience would THINK is clever because they lack enough of their own experiences and intellect to conclude that you would only be sensible as an alternate interpretation of how I would be if I'd never matured at all, which of course I have which then renders your arguments rather moot and, honestly, somewhat laughable. Though, I suppose this assumes that I, as with most of those who seem to think you're actually a representation of the Nightmare version of myself, you were borne of my mind and NOT a dream artifact of STARLIGHT GLIMMER'S interpretation of what I'd be." She leers with a sudden shark-like grin, "Trust me, little bad dream, you know NOTHING of my dark side."

:trollestia:

“What...what were you planning to—”
When it says this, does Luna think Celestia is trying to not let her do work?

8273784
She thought that Celestia was going to make what she was used to making: Pancakes. Given what happened in that dream, i figured that she wouldn't exactly be craving the flapjacks at the moment. :p

8274586
Oh, that makes more sense.

This was really funny.

8253831
Now I'm wanting an entire fanfic dedicated to Animal Planet-style documentary studying Alicorn behaviors.

Who knew pancakes could be so dramatic? :trollestia:

How did Daybreaker know how important lavender was to Luna? As part of Celestia's subconscious, Daybreaker should know only what Celestia knows. Maybe Celestia picked up on what the lavender meant to Luna, but refused to acknowledge it until Luna acknowledged her breakfasts.

And "eggy bread"? Surely you mean Prench toast. That sounds much more appealing.

8253831

<documentary voice="David Attenborough">
And here we seen the majestic alicorn of the day breaking her morning fast. She has successfully stalked and ambushed a platter of fresh crêpes migrating from the kitchen through her dining room domain. After bringing down the choicest morsels, she lets out a bellowing belch to alert any nearby alicorn competitors that this platter is marked for her and her alone. She violently tears into into its soft, fluffy pancakes, rending them end from end and smearing her muzzle with its sugary, syrupy maple lifeblood. This grim spectacle is repeated morning after morning, as the alicorn is an insatiable breakfast predator with a voracious appetite. A mature, fully grown alicorn is fully capable of consuming a stack of crêpes down to the platter in under a minute. A congress of alicorns like this can wipe out entire kitchens worth of pancakes in a single morning.
</documentary>

This is glorious! I'd love to see a story about Sir David Attenborough filming a documentary about the ponies in ther 'natural' habitat :rainbowkiss::rainbowlaugh:
i0.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/original/000/005/574/takemymoney.jpg

Now featured on Equestria Daily. Congrats!

I don't know if anyone feels the same as me, but I just want to say that I really connected emotionally with this story.

I often feel this way in real life: that having needs of my own is somehow a crime, that no-one else would care about my own concerns, that other people's needs are far greater than any trifle bothering me.

But that's wrong. My needs are just as important as anyone else's, and without a doubt the people around me are going through similar things.

I guess, in the end, I need a friend- like Celestia has Luna. Someone to remind me that my needs aren't garbage. And that if I want to be at all useful, I need to be able to address my own issues, and share them with someone when I can't handle it myself.

It took me two readings to figure this out. Thank you for writing this. This story means a lot to me- I'll be sure to come back to it.

Thanks for the pancakes, and for teaching Celestia that enjoying life doesn't have to be a zero-sum game.

An interesting premise with a healthy Aesop at the end. Well done.

Hey, your story has been reviewed here!

It was quite an interesting read. An unexpected image of Princess Celestia. Very nice story. )
But I don't understand this reference to maple syrup at all. Pancakes are eaten with honey, with various northern berries, with jam, with condensed milk, with sour cream, with cheese, even with meat, fish and caviar. But maple syrup?.. :twilightoops:

11362045
Yeah! It's pretty popular around my neck of the country. Makes it vaguely dessert-y, though folks frequently have it for breakfast.

11362244
So, basically this a local American thing? Because for five decades of my life I have traveled a lot on the Eurasian continent, but I have not encountered the use of maple syrup for various pastries.
Should try it sometime, if only out of pure interest. :twilightsmile:

“No. That’s remembering. I’m going to remind you.” Luna sniffed. “Whenever I think you’re feeling down, or stressed, or something’s wrong, I’m going to help you feel happy. I’m going to help you feel strong.” Luna coughed, then swallowed. “And I’ll make sure that the other ponies in the castle help, too. And the ponies in Canterlot. And Equestria. I don’t… I don’t care if I have to do more paperwork or stay up until noon or try to learn how to cook. I’m going to do it. You deserve it. Don’t… don’t ever forget that, okay?”

This is so, so sweet. I want to be this for somepony someday. It was easily my favorite part of the story.

The rest of it was fantastic too, though! The pancake metaphor was really silly in a way that made a fundamentally dark story a lot more fun to read, and, while I confess I am always compelled to defend hedonism as the innocent theory of well-being that it is, it served its purpose well enough. I also was honestly rooting for Celestia to give in, but you handled this beautifully <3

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