• Member Since 17th Apr, 2014
  • offline last seen 14 minutes ago

Evilhumour


Well, this a fan of MLP who has just started to watch the show. And I like what I see!


T
Source

Princess Luna has got into an argument with her older sister and goes to her private realm to vent. Meanwhile, in another realm, Prince Artemis has got into a similar situation with his brother. From what was a simple meeting between alicorns of the night quickly becomes anything but simple.

Rated Teen due to language and subject mater.

Note everything below this line is not important to the story in itself as it has edits to the tags, my team of editors, and feature date list.


A big thank you to Foals Errands for getting me cover art so fast.

EDIT:

Got onto the popular list on the same day I posted this story, WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT!

EDIT

06/23/2014
FEATURED!!!!!!!!!!!!

EDIT:


To list my crew of helpful friends, that help me keep this story coming out in a well timely pace.

Foals Errands, my friend and growing co-writer of my work.
Deepsleep64, my chief editor for this story, and hopeful more to come
Pure Note , my secondary editor
Ninja-PON3 , beta reader and one insane, but fun fan.
Lord Artemis, my second beta reader and good fan that offered his services
Noble Thought a person who helps out at times.
EDIT:

Tags changed

EDIT:

New co-writer is Anon the wonderful shark mouse and a TV Trope Page

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/FanFic/AChanceMeetingOfTwoMoons

Chapters (23)
Comments ( 719 )

They need to get drunk together and compare stories.

4566009 They will do one of those two things in the next chapter, with a line about drunk sex with a certain draconequus and a tuba. Thanks for the fav, by the way.

Impressive story so far :twilightsmile:

the rule 63 of DJ Pon-3 is Record Scraps AKA DJ-col7

This looks quite interesting. I am extremely curious to the next chapter! Good job so far.

4566191 It's the only way I can make it better if people like you help me with stuff like that, so thank you again.

4566212 Thank you, and it should be done shortly

Ooo, a good start so far. :pinkiecrazy:

One minor quibble: Blue Berry? Do you mean Bubble Berry, aka Pinkie Pie's rule 63 counterpart?

Tuba? How did you know I play the tuba?! *waves hand* you heard nothing!!!

4566237 Thanks, I goofed on that one too.

4566253 But I can read what you wrote.

Darn it! Course you marvels of technology!:flutterrage:

Blue Berry? Really?
:facehoof:
It's Bubble Berry. And there are a number of typos in the chapter, such as "then night" in a couple places.

It's an... interesting premise, I suppose, but in order for this to work, you're going to have to explain why/how their realms are crossing NOW, when they didn't when they were younger.

4566391 I fixed it, and read my author note.

And I will adress that later.

Selfcest, it's the best! Put your clone to the test!

4567778 They're not clones, they are two ponies that have lived near identical lives and had near identical experiences.

And do you think fate will let them that close?

Tiny mistake:

Princess of the Moon and the Starts Stars

4567885 Thank you, and how did you like Lulu and Arty's time together?

4567912
Interesting, but short. Write more, get the plot rolling, and then I'll probably have more to say. :ajsmug:

4567948 Don't worry, once they go back to sleep things will get very interesting.

4567976 Thanks! What did you like the most?

4567984 eris and discord of course

4568037 Oh those two. They are two of the better beings of disorder out there.

4568049 indeed
and i always thought it was nightterror nebula like moon/nebula

4568188 Meh, it might be, but I have to my own work in their at times. Nightterror Knight is what I'm going with, and can't you see the two of them teasing each other;

"Oh Mooooooon-buuuuuuuuuuut?"
"Yes, my sweet tin can?"

4568202 i get were your coming from you do what you want not my story

4568213 Yup, and thank you for not turning this into a big thing. I enjoy your words and I would be sad if I had to block you over something as silly as a name

4568219 yep i strongly dislike people who turn little things into big things (coughs in hand twilight) well i dont know what tim it is for you but its nite time here so goodnight/afternoon/morning talk to you later.

4568235 I don't know who that is but yeah, it is late for me too.Almost midnight, a minute or two off, but you sleep well.

Clones? Alternate selves? doesn't matter, I still love rule 63 :pinkiehappy:

4568514 It's the latter and so do I. Did you enjoy my work?

This is hilarious! :pinkiegasp: Wait... if Discord and Fluttershy are a possible ship in this story, then Butterscotch and Eris are in the genderbent universe. Also... Watty and Cel-Cel? :trixieshiftright:

4568620 Re-read the second chapter, Eris and Butters are together. Well, at least the same way Discord sees Fluttershy is the same way Eris sees Butterscotch.

Artemis and Solaris's foal names. Watty, Arty, Artemis. Cel-Cel, Celly, Solaris.

And thank you, I'm glad you're enjoying it!

4568517 Indeed, it was well written and the characters were spot-on :twilightsmile:

4568656 Thank you! Chapter thee is being written right now and I can say one thing.

SIBLING LOVE

Big problem I see so far is a lot of telling, and not enough showing.
What's more interesting to read, that someone said something angrily, or that "..." someone said, slamming the reciever down before throwing the phone case at the wall. Which tells you that they're angrier?

You keep telling us how Luna/Artemis are feeling instead of SHOWING us. Like the 'not caring one bit' part? We already got that. We don't need you to tell us. If we're an observant reader at all, then we saw the stutter go away as they start to giggle and titter at each other. We don't need to know they don't care because we can infer that information for ourselves. Making those kinds of inferences are what draws the readers in, and make the world come alive in their minds.

(Written on tablet, so not amazingly worded or anything, sorry, vut hopefully you get what I mean.)

Not going to lie :coolphoto:
This is 20% cooler :rainbowdetermined2:

This looks good, I will be anxiously awaiting the next chapter.

4569923
4569463
4569230
Thank you gents


4568853

I feel I am doing a fair bit of showing, in fact. It's their small gestures they have, nuzzling and helping the other know there is someone else there that understands the burden of nearly destroying their world. Also just playing together and simply laying next to each, does speak volumes, as it means they are letting down their shields to each other.

Besides, as Discord and Eris said, if the Sunbutts hadn't got involved, their would have been far more showing of their growing feelings for each other.

Nightterror Knight? sounds pretty badass.

it was so cute I demand another chapter!:flutterrage:

4570311 I'm working on it! Read the blog I wrote last night. Thank you for the kind words

This is so far one of the best stories I have read on this site :twilightsmile: You are doing a wonderful job :heart: love it!!

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