• Member Since 18th Apr, 2014
  • offline last seen 1 hour ago

Evilhumour


Well, this a fan of MLP who has just started to watch the show. And I like what I see!

T

This story is a sequel to A simple test from the bureaucracy of Equestria


Following the events of a simple test from the bureaucracy of Equestria, Luna has decided to take this chance to learn what she has missed during her thousand years absence. Will she pass this time around? Will she be fail kindergarten? Read to find out the adventures she and her new friend Captain Shining Armor will have by going back to school!

I do have the first two chapters done, and the plans for the third one, but after then that, I will need help to write more of it! Apply below!

EDIT:

Foals Errand is now the co-writer and helper of this fanfiction. Everything after chapter three will be our joined work so be sure to thank her as well.

EDIT Two:

Changing it to teen due to language.

Chapters (9)
Comments ( 63 )

“BROS BEFORE HOES!” Luna shouted with a grin, “That was the phras-”

OK, I think this is a little excessive. Luna is not stupid enough to just blurt out whatever's on her mind, culture shock or no. Almost enough to make me skip the fic, but eh.

4408180 Everyone has, at times, said what they were thinking out loud. But read the author's note...

bros before hoes just like bitches and hoes be like new clothes once you bought them you wish you never got em

4409782 um... what? Can you try to explain that again ?

they are both gettho rhymes

I'm not terribly certain how you've managed it, but you've double-posted the document twice in one chapter.

"Laughter was magic"
CAKE!

4487953 Thanks for pointing that out!

4487953 Have a cookie for pointing that out!

Is luna a filly now like small and stuff what about disguise she needs one to hide ohh and a blank flank, :pinkiehappy::applecry:

4527661 Wait and find out my curious reader :trollestia:

*gets notice about a new chapter*
Oh boy let me click that now!
*chapter has vanished*
Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu x_x

4528117 Sorry, had to do a check and hit publish by mistake. it's up now! :twilightblush:

4528117 Really, really sorry about that. Would four chapters make it up to you :yay:?

First comment yes ohh and are we ther yet

4528225 Ask me that one more time and I swear I'll turn this train around missy!

4528117 It is back up there, sorry!

YAY! Update.:pinkiehappy:

Nice work uploading two chapters so fast.
Edit: Make that three.

4533797 I've got two more in the wings, just waiting on my editor to look at it.

What's your thoughts, if I might be so bold to ask?

4533809 This is quite deep for a comedy. I did not expect that but i really like it, it makes it more realistic. Overall, I like what you have done for it. If I had to say anything, a bit more emphasis on Blueblood vs Luna. Like hell Blueblood would not piss off Luna.:pinkiecrazy: (But what do I know?)

You do alot of good work in character building, as well as adding alot to Luna past.

Overall, one of my top ten fics. Probably top five (and thats saying something, I've been reading fanfiction for about 5 years.)

4535644 Thank you, that was my intent to make it realistic. Don't worry about Blueblood, he will be dealt with in a future story The Worst Night Ever, and there will be conflict. Thank you for the kind words, and hopefully there will be a new chapter soon.

Also, chapter nine will be one I think you will like.

Last time I forgot to mention- I really really like how you show Shining Armour. In the show, he seems so ineffective and I really felt sorry for him, its got to suck as he is really supposed to be pretty epic. You show him how I feel he should have been shown in the show. (That was not meant to be a bad pun)

4539189 Thank you, I'm trying to show there IS a reason he is the Captain of the Royal Guards as well as being a person that someone like Princess of Love would fall in love with. Diligent, yet kind, tough, yet gentle, serious, yet goofy.

4539202 Thank you, I love how he tells Twilight that he knows what the hell he is doing better than she does. He does everything professionally.

4540059 Yup. A bit of Twilight's problem is her semi justified ego coming from the fact she has a great deal of knowledge does not equate into actual practice nor does it override other people who have actual job experience

Shiny... :facehoof:

Seriously. Putting up a shield around Luna because OMG surprise unknown ponies is one thing. Smashing everything in the room and pinning a crowd of civilians to the wall is a bit much. :unsuresweetie:

4594395 In his defence, he didn't know WHAT was going on. Better to ride on the edge of safety and lawsuits then not to and have a possible kidnapped Princess.

thanks for the fav

Comment posted by Evilhumour deleted Jun 24th, 2014
Comment posted by Evilhumour deleted Jun 24th, 2014

Right in the feels, man, right in the feels...:fluttercry:

4606219 Good to hear, good to hear

Luna going corrupt, that's a theme I don't see often, as usual you impress me.

Good chapter, Shining still knowing what the hell he is doing and Twilight not so sure.

It was wrong of them to shun you just because you worked at night, wrong of them to ignore you because you were not your sister.

Hmm how could Mayor Mare know what happened 1000 years ago when there was no historical documents? There was only a fairy tail and in the fairy tail there was nothing about shuning or ignoring. Throwing dirt on long dead ponies isn't right.

4606567 Don't make turn this train around young lady.
4606639 Luna going corrupt? care to explain? But thank you for he kind words!
4606698 Well that's were you are wrong. In the old fairy tales, it was stated that the ponies slept through the night and these ponies are smart enough to realize what their ancestors did and did not do. ANd those ponies in the past are just as guilty as Luna and as Celestia were for Nightmare Moon.

4606951 Sorry, I meant back in the old myths. I don't see that covered alot. Usually just "Luna got jealous and tried to stop the sun", not like your full reasons with everypony being at fault.

Also, I love how Mayor Mare handled it. Sorry, forgot about that.

4608325 Ah that makes sense.

In my eyes, it can be taken two ways if you want to look at the past in a reasonable way. Either they were truly unthoughtful and dimwitted creatures, and thus couldn't be blamed for their actions, a point that is highly unlucky due to Star Swirl the Bearded existing back then, or as I thought of it, being thoughtless and inconsiderate to Luna, giving her actual people/ponies to be jealous of. This gives her a justifiable reason; to want the attention from rational beings rather than dumb beings.

Perhaps I am being too harsh, but it does require some more thought then what's present.

Me too, that was fun to write and something I had in my head for a while.

4606219 *pats on the back and offers a hug

Don't you dare change thing ending this is one of the only docs that has gotten me to truly crack a smile and a light giggle trust me fics don't make me laugh that often but that picture of Luna and all of them in that room holy crap that's funny.

I think it would have been cute to have had a seen with shining and twilight all snuggled together. also a joke about twilight saying "I hope you don't mind sleeping with my princess" would have been funny dirty but funny.

Oh and I want to see Luna all squished in a little desk next to the FMCS dealing with school yard drama that would be freaking adorable lol.

Yes but your forgetting that the era that Luna lived in was well like our medieval era the darkness was something to be feared and as the ruler of the dark hours Luna by extension was considered evil true some could have made an attempt to befriend her the point remains as to why they didn't try though. Also are the bat pegusai in this or are you going to go with the hole "enchanted armor" thing?

4687452 That's good to hear
4687719 Maybe:trollestia:
4687820 You'll see.

Sadly I think this is now dead. Too bad, read it long ago and would have been nice to see how it all ended up.

7080953 I've been busy with my life so I had to put this on hold.

Damn it, I hate how I'm such a fast bucking reader!!! I'll be waiting for more, great story.

Login or register to comment