1. Member Since 14th Jul, 2012
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Nothing special here, move along, nothing to see, just ignore the lump under the sheet and the red stuff...

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Princess Flurry Heart has found something at school that she wants more than anything else in the world.  Something she will do anything to get.  Something that an unsuspecting young colt has.

An extra cookie.

Done for FanOfMostEverything’s Imposing Sovereigns contest for Princess Flurry Heart: Schemer.  Read them all.  They’re great.

Editors: TheMaskedFerret, Tek, ChappedPenguinLips

(A tail as old as time.  No, wait.  That’s Celestia.)

Picture credits: Wiki

Cutie Mark courtesy of Taaffeite, a beautiful mix of barium manganese aluminum oxide, otherwise known as BeMg3Al8O16

First Published
17th Mar 2017
Last Modified
17th Mar 2017
#1 · 1w, 6h ago · 21 · ·

First comment for the author:  By the way, Missus Slate is fine, just a few cracked ribs and some bruising.  Thankfully, Twilight's Preschool Body Armor Project worked as intended.  And that mark on the school wall will buff right out, with a little plaster.

No comments on Shining Armor's next project, the Pre-School Selective Draft Program, where certain lucky pre-school colts get to experience all the joys of a long 528 mile hike around the Crystal Empire's yeti-infested borders while being doused in meat tenderizer and BBQ sauce.  It builds character!

(What, were you expecting Taffy to get cupcakes?)

#2 · 1w, 6h ago · 1 · ·

*tale

#3 · 1w, 6h ago · 1 · ·

This is adorable, and very well done.

#4 · 1w, 5h ago · 1 · ·

hot

#5 · 1w, 5h ago · · ·

pfffffffff she didn't even realize what she'd done

#6 · 1w, 5h ago · 8 · 1 ·

Wow, is started off DARK AND CREEPY, but became LIGHT AND SWEET AND INNOCENT.

Are you Canadian?

#7 · 1w, 5h ago · 1 · ·

Very, very deeply adorable.

#8 · 1w, 5h ago · 2 · ·

>>8029654

Yep.

And also...

Georg strikes again!!!

#9 · 1w, 5h ago · · ·

this was wrong and funny.

and that song, omg...

#10 · 1w, 5h ago · 4 · ·

a beautiful mix of barium manganese aluminum oxide, otherwise known as BeMg3Al8O16

So which is it? You call out manganese, but the chemical formula says magnesium. And you call out barium but the formula says beryllium.

I'm going to have to start a tumblr speaking out against such mineral insensitivity.

#11 · 1w, 5h ago · 5 · ·

:rainbowlaugh: Fantastic stuff. Child logic at its absolute finest, with all the logical consequences thereof. Especially when Flurry Heart reminds us all that alicorns are part earth pony. Thank you for this, and best of luck in the judging.

#12 · 1w, 5h ago · 1 · ·

>>8029680 You say that like I actually know what I'm talking about instead of copy/pasting from the Taaffeite entry on the website....

>>8029684 Thanks, Fan.

>>8029672 I was raised on Doctor Demento songs.  Explains a lot, I think.

>>8029658 Nope, Kansasan.  

Edit: And I see my auto-downvoter has already visited.  So nice to be loved.

#13 · 1w, 5h ago · · ·

>>8029692

Watch a Canadian commercial and then you'll see why I asked you this question.

E.g. The Rape Whistle

#14 · 1w, 5h ago · 1 · ·

Lol, wish I had thousands of followers, who'd flock to my stories whenever I published one. :raritywink: (Someday, someday...) :pinkiesad2:

#15 · 1w, 5h ago · 1 · ·

Wonderful as always, with amusing twists.

Recommend adding the "heart horizontal rule line" before "Day Fore" and "Day More Than Fore" for consistency.

#16 · 1w, 5h ago · 1 · ·

Very nice :moustache:

#17 · 1w, 5h ago · 1 · ·

Sequel?

#18 · 1w, 4h ago · 2 · ·

This was funny! :rainbowlaugh:

Once she got beside Taffy, she flicked her tail.

Taffy bolted forward, flew across a table, and landed in a sea of waving shiny legs on the other side.

Maybe she should not have flicked her tail that hard.

And that's a home run folks! :moustache:

#19 · 1w, 4h ago · 4 · ·

Great story, very cute, but why is Flurry calling Shining by name instead of Daddy?

#20 · 1w, 4h ago · 2 · ·

>>8029754 Maybe it's like Bart calling his Dad 'Homer' lol. :twilightsmile:

#21 · 1w, 3h ago · · ·

What a lovely wee piece this is. :twilightsmile:

#22 · 1w, 3h ago · · ·

>>8029754 Yea, I wonder about that.

#23 · 1w, 3h ago · 1 · ·

>>8029658

As a Canadian, I can assure that this was never anything other that pleasantly light and fluffy. :moustache:

#24 · 1w, 3h ago · · ·

Adorable.

#25 · 1w, 3h ago · 8 · ·

Mommy had flicked her tail at Shiny once, and he had followed her around the castle afterwards, with both of them giggling until Flurry got to spend some time with Uncle Sunburst again.  Mommy had called it ‘getting some’ and since Flurry wanted to get a cookie, it should work for her too.

Cadance is an awful role model.

I mean, dammit, the story was cute and all, but shit, Cady, keep it in your nonexistent horse pants while the kids are watching, sheesh.

#26 · 1w, 3h ago · · ·

I think Flurry would can her father Daddy.

#27 · 1w, 3h ago · · ·

Okay... I think everyone in Wendy's was wondering why I was having uncontrollable gigglefits... This was friggin PRICELESS! :rainbowlaugh:

#28 · 1w, 3h ago · · ·

Also... You should attend Bronycon this year :twilightsheepish:

#29 · 1w, 2h ago · 6 · ·

This is actually perfect little kid logic. I remember one kid in kindergarten saying he would marry this one girl because she knew how to tie shoes(!).

>>8029754

>>8029757

>>8029857

Mommy calls herself mommy. Mommy calls the other parent Shiny.

At least that's what sounds logical to me.

#30 · 1w, 2h ago · · ·

Reminds me of that one episode of Family Guy

#31 · 1w, 2h ago · 1 · ·

I think everyone here can agree upon this: Cadance is the worst role model in the history of Equestria. :rainbowlaugh:

Poor Taffy is probably going to end up traumatized by these "more than fore" days of Hell every lunch time.

#32 · 1w, 2h ago · 1 · ·

>>8029692 Nope that was me by accident.:facehoof::twilightsheepish:

Loved the story. Tried to add thumbs up. But screen wouldn't add it, so I pressed add and down back and forth to see if the count would move up, nothing happened so I just closed the page....guess it added a downvote when I logged out.:ajsleepy:

I realy enjoyed Flurry in this. You did an amazing job!!!

Got it to upvote too.:derpytongue2:

Adding to faves.

#33 · 1w, 2h ago · 6 · ·

>>8029902 Don't forget the "hours of bedroom cleaning." :trollestia:

#34 · 1w, 2h ago · 1 · ·

>>8029976

Eh, I guess. Still sounds kinda disrespectful or resentful on Flurry's part. I mean, my mom called my dad Kelley all the time around me, but he was still Dad.

#35 · 1w, 2h ago · · ·

>>8029996 Children most of the time call thier parents by first names when they are not feeling close to said parent.

Found in familes where the parent is always working or maybe too stern. both of which Shining falls into.

#36 · 1w, 2h ago · 1 · ·

This is really cute. Flurry Heart is adorable in this.

#37 · 1w, 2h ago · · ·

>>8029976 That makes since

#38 · 1w, 2h ago · · ·

>>8029992 I'm sure they were more clean than the bedroom :moustache: :trollestia:

#39 · 1w, 2h ago · 1 · ·

>>8029705

Don't we all?

(Someday Daniel... SOMEDAY!!!)

(keep telling yourself that...)

#40 · 1w, 2h ago · 3 · ·

>>8029996

Cadance only calls Shiny her daddy when Flurry Heart isn't around.

#41 · 1w, 2h ago · · ·

>>8030050 Never get into writing for fame, but instead for fun.

#42 · 1w, 1h ago · 1 · ·

>>8030063

Hey I'm already part of that group!!!

#43 · 1w, 1h ago · · ·

That was such an adorable little story. Well done.:heart:

#45 · 1w, 50m ago · 4 · 1 ·

:twilightsheepish: It's never two cookies, You have one or more. but never just two.

:pinkiegasp: Dr. Demento was my pediatrician!

:moustache: It's not the size of the cookie ...It's how you eat them! :heart::raritystarry::heart:

:derpytongue2: Now to die of cuteness....thud  

#46 · 1w, 34m ago · 3 · ·

>>8029726 Picky picky. Fixed.

>>8029996 It took until I was in grade school before I realized my mother's real name.

>>8030006 Hey, he plays with Flurry Heart. He taught her how to count to fore too.  Hup, two, three, fore....

>>8030025 Oh, you dirty-minded people.... never change.

>>8030059 Who's your daddy?  (sorry, naughty mind)

>>8030063 I have to admit, the idea of rolling around in a bin of money like JK Rowling does have its appeal...

>>8029987 Sorry about that.  For a while, literally everything I posted got two downvotes in the first 30 minutes.

>>8029982 I think just about any life experience imaginable can be defined in an episode of Family Guy, Simpsons, or South Park.

>>8029971 Planning on it.  Worst case, I'll leave the house to go to work and call the wife later. "Dear, I think I'm in Baltimore.  As long as I'm here..."

>>8029902 She is the horsey goddess of luurrrrvvvveeee.

>>8029757 I'll just leave this here...

#47 · 1w, 31m ago · · ·

>>8030282 77 upvotez to 1 downvote is beyond wonderful though. :twilightsmile:

#49 · 6d, 23h ago · 3 · ·

>>8030289 Honest, I'm a lot duller, fatter, balder (well, thinning), and less interesting in person.  Just ask my kids.

>>8030287 I can't remember if Drifting Down the Lazy River or The One Who Got Away hit 100 upvotes before its first downvote.  I *had* to keep peeking at it until that first door-ding. :pinkiehappy:

#50 · 6d, 22h ago · 6 · ·

>>8029553 Great story--love the way you worked childhood misconceptions into it.

She could count to fore.

:twilightsmile: Made it a grate reed.

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