• Published 16th May 2017
  • 5,277 Views, 286 Comments

The 4000 Year Old Virgin - ocalhoun



The other princesses discover that Celestia has never gotten laid. Like, not ever never! Obviously, this is a problem.

Comments ( 26 )

10162717
There’s your update! ^.^

10101934
Bravo, bravo! Bravisimo! Well done, and jolly good show! This just leaves me with one tiny, itty bitty, little, minuscule question!

... who's your evil twin?

As Fancy hastily covered himself with a pillow, Celestia jerked upright in her bed. “ Out! ” she shouted, teleporting them all to Tartarus. All but the champagne bottle, of course. She floated that over to her bedside table. Let the three of them stew in Tartarus for a few hours. Served them right.

To Tartarus! :yay:

Well, you can't say they didn't deserve it with that horrible interruption. :moustache:

How did they know when to come, though? Hmm...

10291464
Ah... I don't see the resemblance.

The other princesses discover that Celestia has never gotten laid.

Let me guess: Luna has had sex, many, many times, and teases her sister relentlessly about it.

10291527
He’s adopted.
Yes, adopted twin. Don’t question it.

10291493
I mean, obviously they were secretly watching the whole time.

10291543
Well, that is fairly close.

10291794
I've seen stranger things. Turducken, and bits of the show.

It's been a long time coming, but it all came to a most satisfactory climax. :trollestia: Well done. Thank you for it.

What, no scene?

10291788
It was getting a bit... Best way I can describe it, "And this is to go beyond! AAAARRRRGGGGHHHH!" Still, would have liked to see it come to a conclusion. A lot of kudzu's work is really across a spectrum of writing styles and just draws you in. Then again, he's writing an entire universe so... yeah.

Gotta admit, one of the things I love about this site is the abundance of short stories, longer works like yours, and the really REALLY big works.

10292256
No no, satisfactory climaxes are my evil twin’s purview.

10292346
This is a teen-rated story, despite what the mods changed.

This was a fun story to read, thank you for writing it!

Also obligatory:

10299567
Yes, imagine Celestia doing that, but instead of sky-writing, she writes it out with the sun in the sky.

No. No, she wouldn't let that happen, not this time. This time, everything had to go perfectly. That was the only way she'd reach her ultimate goal of...

:trollestia:: "This day is going to be perfect, the kind of day of which I dreamed since I was small..."

Oh no! This could ruin everything! “But... You aren't too exhausted, are you?”
He gave her just a hint of a knowing grin. “Too exhausted for what?”
“I, um... You know...”
“I thought you'd never ask.” He slipped one hoof over to caress the side of hers, then whispered softly in her ear. “Your place or mine?”

They are talking about doing something like this, right?

Out!” she shouted, teleporting them all to Tartarus. All but the champagne bottle, of course.

Good to see she has the right priorities.


Good story!
I enjoyed reading it.
It was an over three year long ride, and it was fun for the entire trip.

Bro, I can't believe I'm actually going to read this.

Eh, oh well.

10489720
Hopefully it's worthwhile for you! ^.^

I still find it a bit weird that Fancy Pants ended up being Celestia's lover (mostly for personal reasons), but it worked for the story,

10492135
Heh, yeah. But it needed to be somepony, and I wasn't about to go out and write yet another Twilestia fic.

10492171
If the story had started after the movie came out, I'd have suggested Tempest.

10492198
Heh, yeah. That would be good.

10492229
Heh, yeah.
Oh well

Hot damn, I feel like I've waited as long as Celestia has for this. The end! Way to go, great stuff!

10511075
Heh, yeah. I might not be the fastest writer, but I do eventually finish what I've committed to doing!

10511414
Absolutely, I'm the same way. It's your story after, you write at your own pace

10536810

12/10 would read. 👍

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