Luna writes a message on the moon after getting banished.
Now with a reading on youtube Click Here Done by MLP- shadow knight.
Chapters (1)
- Member Since 30th Nov, 2013
- offline last seen May 28th, 2023
ChAoS pOnY
A hack writer with moments of brilliance upon occasion. Feel free to toss a few bucks in my tip jar https://paypal.me/JeremyCurd
ChAoS pOnY
Joined 30th Nov, 2013 ·
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10/10, I would read again -IGN
Cringy but in a Filthyfrank kind of way. I like it.
i love the premise but it needs maybe a little more work. the cake-themed attacks were good though as well.
Rather funny, definitely random
"Cakethulu" was inspired
Could use proofreading
All-in-all, a fair comeback effort,
three hooves out of five
3.5/5 stars.
Reason(s): It could use a little bit of help on the grammar side of things, and I usually get royally ticked off by improper grammar, but I didn't this time. So the reason you missed on 1 and a half stars is because I'm the grammar police...
7790032 I never let the details get in the way of a good story. SOOOO...........
7790141 I understand
Okay so Pros first. I loved the stories humor. The comedy was well done, well placed, and well paced not going to fast and not to slow. Jokes gave their punches with just enough ompf and the next joke showed up to keep up the funny. Characters were in character the whole time loved it. I also liked the letters that opened the story and the dialogue between the two guards.
Cons there were two grammatical errors in the story and that's about it this was a great story, The princesses weren't in their character but like I said above you gave them a character and they stuck to it so not really a con.
Great Job!
Other than the grammar at some points, this was funny
This was funny as hell, glad I found it. Loved seeing a version of Luna like this and seeing how easy Celestia fell for the trap was perfect. Have a 👍