Celestia breathed deeply before entering the ballroom. She had her dress and her ornate mask, her mane and fur had been primped by actual professionals, and she'd spent hours refreshing herself on old books with every possible dance step. So why was she so nervous?
There was no use denying it, especially not to herself. The jittery energy tensing her legs, the tendency for her breath to come short, the nagging worry that her dress was too revealing – or perhaps not revealing enough... It was all nearly enough to overwhelm her. And what if something went wrong? There were so many things that could go wrong. Would ponies even be able to go around the usual business of a masquerade ball if she was attending? What if everypony was so busy paying attention to her that she could never get a moment alone with Fancy Pants? What if he resented her for it? What if this ruined everything? She did want this to work out, oh ever so much! But given the way things had turned out so far...
No. No, she wouldn't let that happen, not this time. This time, everything had to go perfectly. That was the only way she'd reach her ultimate goal of...
Oh. Oh goodness! Was she really ready for that? She'd spent so long seeking it now that she'd actually lost track of what the actual goal was: to have sex. Real sex. With a stallion.
That just opened up new churning insecurities inside her. What if she wasn't good enough? What if she messed something up in the act itself? She'd never done it before – of course she was going to be terrible at it. And if she was terrible at it, Fancy would never want to so much as look at her again! And what if—
“Oh, there you are, Princess!”
Celestia whirled around almost fast enough to tear her gown. It was Princess Twilight, dressed up in a shimmering purple and magenta dress and matching mask. The whole thing was so bedecked in jewels and sequins that Celestia just knew it had to be the handiwork of the designer friend of hers, Rarity.
“Luna and Cadance and I have been looking all over for you!”
Luckily, Celestia's mask would hide her blush. “I wasn't hiding!”
Twilight paused.
Oh drat – had she been that obvious?
“Of ... course not,” Twilight said brightly. “We just, uh, wanted to remind you that there's a limit to how late can count as fashionably late ... especially when you have somepony waiting for you inside.”
Fancy had been waiting for her? Of course he had! What an idiot she was being out here in the hallway! He was probably already furious with her! She'd already messed everything up without even stepping hoof in the ballroom yet! Was there any way to cancel it and still back out with dignity now? What if she sent Twilight back in to make an excuse about her being sick? Twilight would do that for her. Twilight would do anything for her.
“Twilight, dear,” Celestia said, already backing away from the ballroom door. “Do you suppose you could talk to Fancy Pants and tell him...”
The pained expression peeking through from behind Twilight's mask said it all. What was she doing? This was no way for a princess to behave.
“You know...” Celestia took another breath. “Never mind.” She stepped toward the ballroom door. It was time to face her fears head-on.
The moment she stepped inside the castle ballroom, she entered a world of pure chaos. If only Discord could have seen it. Sapphire Shores was in the middle of belting out an astonishingly energetic song, and ponies gyrated to the music all around, using absolutely none of the formal dances Celestia had carefully memorized. Her own flashy dress and mask of rose-cream and gold looked positively plain and quite modest compared to the outlandish clothes everypony else was wearing. At least that meant she wasn't drawing too much attention; at least that meant the party didn't stop and focus on her the moment she stepped inside. In fact, it seemed as if almost nopony there even recognized her. Of course she had her mask, but nothing would disguise her height, nor her mane and tail. But everypony's attention was focused toward the stage.
“Amazing, isn't it?” Twilight shouted, working her way into the crowd. “Come on!”
It was all Celestia could do to follow Twilight through the chaotically dancing crowd. It should have been easy to keep track of her flashy dress, but everypony around her was dressed to an equally dazzling degree, and the lights in the ballroom kept strobing and changing colors, making it difficult for her to keep anything straight at all. Not to mention the risk of trampling somepony's tail or trailing gown. She couldn’t afford a faux pas like that. The last thing she needed would be to make a terrible scene and spectacle of herself before she even got started.
She did manage to follow Twilight through the writhing crowd somehow ... and just on the other side of it, she found a very familiar-looking masked stallion. When she saw him, she had to suppress a little snort of laughter. Even in elaborate masquerade costume, he didn't actually change his signature look that much. His coat might have been bedazzled with sequins and diamonds, but it was clearly still the tailed tux he almost always wore. Even his mask was an elaborately embellished re-imagining of the monocle he so often used – as a complicated arrangement of gold and crystal lenses. And to think, she'd been worried that she might not recognize him in a mask!
“Ah, so good to see you, Princess. I must admit, I had begun to fear something had kept you.”
“No, ah, of course not. I was just, uh...” Once again she was thankful for the mask's ability to hide her blush. Surely she could come up with some sort of excuse for being late. After all, she had an entire kingdom to run! But the harder she tried, the less specific and believable her jumbled thoughts became.
Luckily, he relieved her of the need to come up with anything. “Oh, I'm sure it isn't any of my business. Somepony like you must need an extensive filing system for your to-do list alone, and I shouldn't bore you with discussing anything of that ilk. No business here, only pleasure.”
Pleasure? What was that supposed to mean? Just as Celestia was about to respond, the music flared with the start of Sapphire Shores' next song, and the collective cheer of the ponies around her drowned her out anyway.
Even when Fancy outright shouted at her, she could barely make out the words ... and yet, he still somehow managed to sound charming as he shouted, “Ah, I see a new song is starting. Might I ask your for a dance, Princess?” He held out his hoof.
She took his hoof gratefully. “Please, just Celestia.”
When Celestia turned to walk alongside Fancy Pants back into the dancing crowd, she came face to face with an absolutely beaming Twilight Sparkle. No mask could hide that much smile. Both she and Fancy Pants paused for a moment. Celestia bit her lip slightly. “Um, Twilight...”
That was enough to snap Twilight out of it. “Oh!” she said suddenly, before backing up a couple paces. “Right! I'll, um, just leave you two alone for a little while.” She awkwardly side-stepped away ... but not without throwing an exaggerated and far too obvious wink in Celestia's direction.
Fancy Pants cleared his throat. “Right then... Shall we?”
Celestia's nerves caught up with her in full force when the two of them ventured back onto the dance floor. The ponies here were doing some strange kind of twisting and jumping dance that wasn't in her – admittedly outdated – guidebook at all!
Finally, the two of them found a little open space among the crowd. They faced each other. Celestia stared at Fancy Pants intently, preparing herself for the difficult task of mirroring his movements exactly without any warning or practice.
But instead of jumping into a twist like all the ponies around them, Fancy Pants seemed to read her perfectly. “Southern Equestrian Tango, perhaps?”
A huge sigh of relief forced its way out of her. So what if it didn't match the other ponies around them? So what if it didn't even fit particularly well with this sort of music? So what if it might be a bit stodgy? She knew that dance! With a courtly nod of her head, she stepped into the first motions of the complicated, fast-paced tango.
* * *
By the fifth musical number – and the third completely different dance – the two of them had become rather a spectacle amidst the crowd. But thankfully, the good sort of spectacle. Princess Celestia had practiced these dances to a tittle, and in some miraculous fashion, Fancy Pants had known that. They cut quite the figure through the crowd as they went through the elaborate twirling bows and curtsies of the Unicornian Gavotte, and even though the incredibly old-fashioned dance predated the founding of Equestria, Fancy Pants somehow knew it as well as she. Already, there was a growing ring of ponies around them who'd stopped their own dancing in favor of just watching Fancy Pants and Celestia perform together. Apparently, Canterlot ponies still had some appreciation for well-executed classical dancing.
Even though the Unicornian Gavotte was a relatively slow, restrained dance, Celestia's heart raced. In the old pre-Equestrian days, the culmination of the dance was supposed to be a kiss between the two dancers. Over the centuries, that had been replaced with the stallion presenting the mare with a bouquet of flowers, before the dance fell out of favor entirely. But Fancy Pants wasn't holding any flowers. It would ruin the dance to neglect the centerpiece at the end, and he must have known that. He seemed to know this dance perfectly. So did he actually plan to go through with it the old-fashioned way? Was she about to steal a kiss from him? This particular dance had been her suggestion after all. She couldn't blame him if he chose not to go through with it. And yet if he did...
The moment of truth was fast approaching. They swirled and pranced toward each other now, in the final pattern that would lead to the absolute last steps of the dance. Would he do it? Would he do it?
The end of the dance came. The two of them stood face to face. Fancy Pants slipped his mask off. Princess Celestia removed hers as well. He gave her an anticipatory little smile. Her heart leapt inside her so much she momentarily forgot to lean in and meet him, almost missing the crucial last beat of the dance.
When the two of them kissed, the ponies watching them actually cheered, even though it was still in the middle of Sapphire Shores' song. Celestia hadn't been expecting that! And she especially hadn't expected the especially loud voice nearby crying out, “Yes! Woohoo! Go get him, Sister!”
At first when Celestia broke her brief kiss with Fancy Pants, she had only eyes for him, trying to guess the subtle emotions she saw in his face. But then another raucous shout from their impromptu audience tore her attention away.
One glance was enough to confirm that their most enthusiastic onlooker was not using the word 'sister' in the colloquial or rhetorical sense. That was undoubtedly Princess Luna. The glittering black dress and mask hid her nicely, but no amount of adornment could make an ordinary pony's mane glitter quite like Luna's.
Preempting anther outburst, Celestia turned back toward Fancy. “Perhaps this would be a good time to seek refreshment?”
He winced at Luna's overly obvious interest before putting his mask back on. “Quite.”
Princess Celestia glanced back at her sister just in time to see her slip her mask aside and give an overly obvious wink. Celestia shook her head. Had her sister no shame at all? She expected that sort of immaturity from the younger princesses, but from Luna? Luna should know better.
* * *
Princess Celestia lounged together with Fancy Pants on an especially comfortable bench seat near the bar. She slurped at the straw of her refreshing piña colada with gusto, glad for its help in cooling her off after all that dancing, while Fancy Pants sipped much more cautiously from his Manehattan. He had, of course, offered to pay for the drinks. Such a gentlecolt. Naturally, she'd had to turn him down, pointing out that she owned the entire bar.
“That... That was amazing,” Celestia said, giving her drink a rest. She'd have it emptied soon if she wasn't careful.
He glanced over at her with a meaningful flick of his eyebrows. “The dancing, or the...?”
“The...” Oh goodness, what should she say? “Everything!”
Fancy Pants laughed politely and took another sip. “Wonderful to hear, though I'm afraid I might not have it in me to go another round like that. The Windigo Waltz sets just such an exhausting pace, wouldn’t you say?”
Oh no! This could ruin everything! “But... You aren't too exhausted, are you?”
He gave her just a hint of a knowing grin. “Too exhausted for what?”
“I, um... You know...”
“I thought you'd never ask.” He slipped one hoof over to caress the side of hers, then whispered softly in her ear. “Your place or mine?”
“Mine, definitely mine,” Celestia answered, working hard to suppress the giddy feeling in her chest. She was already dealing with enough frightening new things. A familiar and comfortable setting would help.
“Won't the guards see us? I know they're trained not to talk about what they see, but...”
She smiled. “Just let me take care of that.”
As the two of them snuck out around the edge of the ballroom, making for the nearest door, Celestia kept sneaking glances back at him. Oh, he just looked so dapper! And the look in his eyes through that mask, it was as if he knew exactly what she was thinking.
On the way out, though, they encountered one final guardian leaning up against the wall next to the door.
“Ah, I'd wondered just how long it would take,” Cadance said smugly. Of all the princesses' attire, her costume might have been the only one that let her pass unnoticed ... if it hadn't been for the way her mask so perfectly mimicked the crystal heart design of her cutie mark. Through one of the eye-holes, Celestia saw her give a big, blatant wink. Had the three of them practiced that?
Celestia just shook her head and ignored Cadance, pushing her way through the doorway with Fancy Pants behind her.
He didn't follow quite as quickly as she expected. Cadance had pulled him aside, was whispering something into his ear.
A moment later, he was out in the deserted hallway with her, and the sounds of the music were muffled and distant.
“What did she tell you?” Celestia asked.
He shook his head. “Mostly a series of unspeakable horrors that might be visited upon anypony who dared to mistreat you.”
Sighing, Celestia shook her head slightly as well. “Four thousand years old, and I still get treated like a little filly in need of protection at times.”
“I get some of that from my own family from time to time. I'm sure they mean well.”
She smiled wanly. “Still, I can't help but think that all of this might have been easier without their help, as well-intentioned as it may have been.”
“I wouldn't be too certain of that,” he said, coming closer. “Oddly enough, I feel like those terrible attempts of theirs actually helped me know the real Celestia better than I ever could know a perfectly regal princess.” He tilted his head up toward her.
Celestia's heart thrilled to return his gentle nuzzle. She steeled herself to take the next step. “Well ... shall we?”
Fancy Pants nodded. “It is an awfully long climb up to the Tower of the Sun. If we don't get started now, it could be nearly midnight before we finally get there.”
“Hm...” Celestia smiled smugly. “About that...”
In a golden flash of teleportation, the two of them suddenly stood in her own private bedchambers, right next to her bed.
“Oh!” Fancy Pants shouted. “Oh my!” Quickly, though, he calmed himself back down. “Why, that is quite useful. And I presume the guards at the door will be none the wiser?”
Celestia nodded, actually feeling a bit sheepish for having shown off like that.
He glanced toward the bed, then back at her. One step took him close enough to reach the hidden zipper along the back of her gown. “May I?”
She couldn’t breathe. No, she told herself, no! I can't ruin this, not now, not when I'm so close! And yet, she couldn’t help it. She covered the zipper with her trembling wing. “I ... I can't!”
“I'm sorry?” Fancy Pants turned his head to the side in confusion for a moment, then when he saw her face again, he backed a couple paces away. “Oh, oh dear. I am so sorry. If I was too forward, I could...”
“No, no. It's me.” She could barely breathe, and it felt like she was forcing the words out through solid stone, but she had to force herself to say it. “I'm the one who has the problem. I'm the one who has something wrong with her.”
“What?” he asked urgently. “What could possibly be wrong with you, dear?”
“I'm a—” Her words choked in her throat. No! She had to tell him. She owed it to him! “Fancy Pants, I am ... a virgin!” She hung her head low in shame, staring down at the floor. To still be a virgin at her age. It was disgraceful. It showed just how worthless and unlovable she truly was.
“Celestia...”
Fancy's hoof on her withers startled her into jerking away for a moment, but it did get her to look back up at him again.
“I know. The other princesses told me all about it earlier today.”
Her heart shattered. “Then ... then this has all been a ruse? Some kind of cruel game? They set all of this up?” It was even worse than she thought! “I should have known! How could I have been so stupid?”
“No, no! It isn't like that. Listen! They have your best interests at heart, they really do. They didn't come to me to set up any kind of joke. All three of them only wanted to warn me to take it easy with you, to let you start as slow as you needed. They truly care about you ... and so do I.”
She could almost believe it. “And... And you're not doing it just out of pity? Just because they asked you to?”
He came close to her again, all the way up to her until he could nuzzle along her neck. His whiskery mustache tickled her there. “Oh Celestia... You're the most amazing mare I have ever met. The most incredibly wonderful pony in all of Equestria. Nopony could ever feel that way about you. There is no other mare in the entire world I would rather hold in my hooves tonight ... or any other night.”
“You ... really mean that?”
He pulled back a little, just enough to look into her eyes again. His magic pulled both of their masks aside.
This time when they kissed, it was nothing like that chaste peck on the dance floor. They pressed against each other deeply, passionately. Celestia let herself be pushed backward toward the bed. She collapsed onto it, pulling Fancy up on top of her. She could scarcely breathe as they struggled to magic their clothes off fast enough to suit their passion. Something tore, some seam came loose, but it didn't matter. All that mattered was him and her, finally together.
* * *
Celestia reclined side-by-side with Fancy, both of them breathing heavily and a little bit sweat-sheened. Their masquerade finery sat in a crumpled, torn heap next to the bed. She yearned to hold him tight, but things were just too hot for now. They settled for holding their hooves together as they caught their breath.
A flash! Three ponies stood at the foot of her bed: Twilight, Luna, and Cadance. All of them beamed and cheered. Cadance even snapped a picture with a portable camera.
“I knew you could do it!” Twilight said in heart-meltingly sincere enthusiasm. She held out a bottle of champagne toward them.
Cadance looked at the photo her camera spit out with a broad grin. “You'll be a love expert to rival me in no time.”
Luna, though, stared at Fancy Pants, rather low on his body. “My my, Sister... That is quite the impressive tree branch you have found for yourself...”
As Fancy hastily covered himself with a pillow, Celestia jerked upright in her bed. “Out!” she shouted, teleporting them all to Tartarus. All but the champagne bottle, of course. She floated that over to her bedside table. Let the three of them stew in Tartarus for a few hours. Served them right.
Fancy stared at where the three princesses had been. “That was...”
“Are you certain they have our best interests at heart?” Celestia giggled slightly. Oh, she just felt so free inside! Finally!
“... Our?” He grinned. “I do like the sound of that.”
Celestia just cuddled up next to him, nuzzling up against his strong neck despite the heat, and she squeezed him tight. The perfect ending to a perfect night.