Just an average insane brony, doing average insane things. Professional Fanfiction Writer and Purveyor, relevant links are on my profile page.
Starlight Glimmer is repentant, on the path to reformation after she saw what her plan could have caused. She was thankfully talked down, all the possible futures she made prevented, all the changes to the past no longer existing.
At least... that's what everyone thinks. But magic isn't something to be abused.
There are always consequences.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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This sounds awesome.
Portent of doom indeed.
Nice use of the theme song in how each pony defines friendship. Equally good diversity (heh) in the reactions to Starlight, and there's a potential explanation for Pinkie Pie that I don't believe I've ever seen.
In all, I am most definitely intrigued. Not sure where you're going with this, but I look forward to finding out.
Consider me intrigued! I can't wait to see what this builds up to!
Interesting start. My first guess for the uninvited guest is Discord...
Consider me hooked like a big fat fish.
With that out of the way, all aboard the NITPICK TRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIN!
I think it's Sunday.
There are many words that doublespeak merges. This is not an example of such.
Hi, I'm here at Whit's End, covering the news as it turns out light isn't white after all!
Cookies if you catch the reference in that last one.
Okay, this looks promising. Can't say all that terribly much considering it's the first chapter, but the flow of the writing is smooth, grammar seems good, dialogue feels very much natural and in character.
Now, I will say that I very much like how you're portraying Starlight here who, in my opinion, should very much so be rather depressed after nearly destroying her homeland and species for one of the pettiest reasons imaginable.
Now, Spike's comment about the past villains was pretty funny, but it was generalized a bit much. Then again, it was magnificent snark that fit his character perfectly, so it works out I suppose.
So, this I can say with certainty has got me hooked. Can't wait to see the next chapter.
On the possible name of Starlight's village, I personally use the name Equity for it. It's nice, simple, and actually stands for the values she was trying to promote, even if her application was severely flawed.
Fun enough so far. That bit about Pinkie and the aetherial plane was an interesting detail.
That's fairly understandable, honestly.
MORE! MORE! MORE! MORE! MORE!
Steve? is that you?
vignette2.wikia.nocookie.net/borderlands/images/6/6a/Steve_Heyo.png/revision/latest?cb=20130812064006
6867266 Best comment.
I'm calling Pinkie Pie.
Anyway, this seems like it's going to be one stupendous story. I'm already hooked with this first chapter. I don't have any criticisms at all. Well, except, I would really like to see what Starlight says about Granny Smith. I really loved what Spike said about the other bad guys. I actually giggled, out loud. I look forward to the update, whenever it happens to come, and until then I'll try to think of something more constructive to say, at a time when I haven't been awake the entire night.
Is this BORDERLANDS?!?! Get Teh Earworm!
Screwball?
So far so good. I am in the process of writing a fanfiction myself. Still have a long way to go
See Title
Read Description
Read First Chapter
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Or the most pathetic of the bunch.
There's making a mountain out of a molehill... and then there's making a whole bunch of mountains out of a molehill and then smashing them together into a giant asteroid that you then use to wipe out all life on an inhabited planet. Kinda the scale in this case.
Well, I suppose I'll read for now... however, this is entering the realm of crossing time travel AND parallel universes simultaneously. That tends to result in continuity turning into a giant ball of knotted yarn.
Huh, so maybe everything wasn't conveniently magically reset after all those time travel shenanigans? Hm, not sure who that visitor at the end could be. The "greeting" doesn't really seem like a Time-Turner/Doctor thing. My random guess is Minuette (ran into her character recently in some other fics I've been reading).
Good first chapter, I like the greater development of Starlight's redemption. My issues with her character aside, a quick song and dance isn't exactly a great way to redeem a character, coming off really, really rushed, so I like seeing the rest of the Mane Six interact with her more, better than the show's montage. Great way to list off a bunch of different definitions/POVs of friendship, that will probably be important later. Looking forward to the next chapter, whenever that is.
Alternate Pinkie Pie? Sounds like an alternate Pinkie Pie. Or maybe an alternate Starlight Glimmer? She should be able to reproduce the time travel spell, after all.
Or... the Discord who won?
Okay, I'm tracking this.
Two more tiny things: Starlight picking up "a come" early in the chapter, and the map showing "seven images." Unless Starlight's cutie mark is included there for some reason, those are both errors.
6874310
Spike's ears.
6874847 I checked the throne room. Spike's throne has no symbols. This isn't a problem; it's just that you invented something, and that means we don't already know about it. Nor, I suspect, did Spike until just now.
I like how this is starting out.
Including the lines from the show's theme in the mane 6's descriptions of friendship was a nice touch, and I'm pretty sure I'll be reciting them in my head whenever I listen to that theme now. Pinkie going in depth while wearing a labcoat threw me a bit, as it's not really something I could see her doing, but then again... she's Pinkie, and random Pinkie is fun Pinkie.
The other thing I like is how, as a reader, I can feel Starlight's despondence and guilt. She can clearly see how far overboard she went with her revenge plotting, and the consequences of if she had succeeded. The attutude Twilight's friends had towards her, slightly cold but willing to give her a chance for Twilight's sake, really reinforced how far she has to go in redeeming herself (And Spike was a great release for all the gloomyness with his witty comment on all the other villain's motives).
Not sure what you're planning, but if this is a story where they all have to jump between alternate worlds, and solve the problems in order to stop the time stream from collapsing in on itself (or something equally apocalyptic), that would be epic. It would be especially interesting to see how Starlight reacts to actually seeing the alternate worlds she caused, and to see her try to fix everything to atone for her past mistakes. All the while, the mane 6 are right beside her to help save the worlds taken over by their old foes, and getting to meet the alternate versions of themselves!
I'm sorry, I'm rambling now. Just let me say I'm looking forward to the next chapters.
Another excellent chapter. I didn't see Screwball coming at all. I was thinking, like the others in the story, that her Master was Discord, because that just made sense, but it could also be something else that just sounds like Discord. Now I'm just left wondering exactly what is going to be happening in the next chapter, because there is no telling what may come out of or go into another portal.
Well...that escalated quickly.
I'll give you this: out of everything you could have thrown at us, Screwball was not one of them. While it seems like alternate Discord could be her master based on her mannerisms, that seems like a far too obvious a path, and even the mane 6 comment that she's probably misleading them. Furthermore, while this does lean into my headcanon, I have a hard time seeing a Discord that hasn't been...tempered, shall we say, by Fluttershy to bother with training a minion. Rather, I can see him starting on a minion, but getting bored half way through and moving onto something else. Besides, he seems like a draconoquis who loves to do things personally, and minions aren't exactly personal.
Furthermore, based on how Screwball dealt with Tirek here, I'm pretty sure that unless Discord was at his most insane and random she'd probably screw him up.
While it's just a thought, I now really want to see if Screwball would actually be shocked to see the results of a Discord who just downed a gallon of LSD. Personally, I don't think any being would be prepared for that, including Discord.
Still, an excellent chapter that leaves me wanting more.
I like this. I like this a lot. Makes me want to rehash something. Props to you for making me rethink the whole finale. I hope they could take this into the new season. Would make it pretty awesome to see the mane 6 face off against them all....Anyway, I like you, I like this, and I definitely like the artwork so far. Do you do it, or is it someone else?
*squints at the art*
Yes, yes, that appears to be a bag full of alternate timelines color-coded based on the filters used while Twilight was in them. Oh my.
Fascinating, this. It may seem too obvious, but I'm going to have to lean on Discord... assuming that Screwball's information can be trusted. Which is admittedly a big assumption. Still, who else would have the quantumantic knowledge and power to create the marbles, would allow the economy to collapse, and wouldn't want to be referred to as "Mistress"?
... Actually, we never did see who or what caused that last timeline, did we?
Eagerly looking forward to more, especially since this is one of the most wildly entertaining Screwballs I've seen in a long time.
I believe the first letter of the alphabet is a little lost in the middle of that sentence.
Also, that was a gray marble she used to escape.
...
Gray.
Guys, I don't think Master goes by the name of Daddy Discord.
You could say that things got a little, screwy.
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I have no shame
I have a feeling that Screwball came from that timeline when Discord was victorious...
you know one in which he forced Luna and Celestia to be his personal clown
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6891887 Hmmm... I took a closer look at the marbles. I think the gray one is the Wasteland. But, here's the thing: There's an extra marble. What's that shadow on the brownish one?
6897139
No, he's in the orange marble.
6896659 The Flim Flam Brothers.
6897213 Ohhhh yeahhhh. I forgot about that one!
And soon it becomes like that one Star Trek: TNG episode with all the Enterprises...
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And Worflight Spackle is the only one who realizes it's happening for most of the episode.
6891571 Or, Screwball is from a dimension where she's more powerful than Discord and is playing them all along for shits and giggles?
After all, infinite universes mean ALL THE POSSIBILITIES!!
Which is kinda why they're annoying after a while. You can pretty much throw out a blanket justification for anything... especially when you ignore basic event causality the way the episode did.
6901911
There are only seven other timelines.
6901940 THAT YOU KNOW OF!!!
Screwball's been lying to YOU too!
She's become more powerful than the Author! IT'S ALL OVER!!!!
DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUUUN!!
I'm getting vibes of Beet the Vandal Buster here... when you cut the horn of a Vandal 6-star or higher, they asplode really hugely as they can't regulate their energy flow without it, as the team found out from Grunide before he blew up.
Spike is at his best when he's written as a sarcastic Radar O'Riley.
This chapter was artfully done.
I'm a sucker, for the whole "Alright, team, you know the drill" type situation. They're veteran heroes, they know the score.
You — you insane bastard!
It's beautiful! You've earned an intern! No, no, two interns!
Sparkle! Get Weaver some interns!
Sparkle!
Why aren't you at your desk?!
Sparkle!
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I'm starting to doubt I'll ever stop reading at this rate of having stories added to Read Later list.
So. Many. Awesome. Stories.
And this one looks just about as amazing as the other ones. Oh boy can't wait to get started xD
My guess is that Master is Trixie with the Alicorn Amulet. It seems to drain sanity and increase power exponentially, a perfect source for what we see here.
6891651 The artwork for Part 1 and Part 2 is by NCMares
Are you planning on continuing this story? I personally found the whole premise far more interesting than any of the stories you've written since you began it, so I hope you will focus on it again at some point.
Tenets.
6990705
Yeah but screwball is canonically associated with discord. Mite B Cool Tho