• Member Since 3rd Jun, 2012
  • offline last seen Last Monday

Karkadinn


E

Rarity comes to Twilight to confess a bizarre secret that will change how Twilight sees her forever. Can Twilight handle it like a seemingly normal, completely well-adjusted and mature pony? Can she even BELIEVE it? (The answers are no, and yes, respectively.)

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 60 )

dafuq i jest watcheded:pinkiegasp:

This is actually incredible. I salute you.

Not bad at all! :pinkiehappy:

Nicely done! And brimming with marshmallowy goodness.

oh. oh my.

Pfffffffffftttttttt

Oh man, this is great.

And the next time we see twi she wields a shotgun and mutter about undead candy ponies...
This was funny!

:moustache: < This is my only response.

Completely brilliant.

I wish that more stories had humor like this in them. Sweet and fluffy with just a pinch of disturbing. :trollestia:

693140
Just like Rarity herself! :raritywink:

Dafaque? Plus you wrote 'not' wrong in this sentence I'm counting on you to note listen at the door

:trollestia: - Well hello Twilight, always a pleasure to see my faithful...

:twilightangry2: - Gimme that creme brulee flank, you undead food God abomination!

:trollestia: - *blinkblink*... dafuq?

:rainbowwild: :raritywink: :pinkiehappy: - TROLOLOL-LOLOLOL!

Oh my god, yes. This is glorious. :pinkiecrazy:

Hahaha, oh I'm laughing so hard I have tears in my eyes. That was great. Good job.

foodponies. sweet and savory with just a hint of dafuq.

This....this is glorious.

Ahhahaha! Whoahahah! many lols, many lols. :pinkiehappy:

Seriously, why isn't this featured yet?

:rainbowlaugh: YES!!! FANTASTIC!

in the episode when applejack and rarity have a sleepover, Rarity eats a smore. but other wise an awesome fanfic.
:raritywink::raritywink::raritywink::raritywink::raritywink::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::rainbowkiss::rainbowkiss::rainbowkiss::rainbowkiss::rainbowkiss::twilightsmile::twilightsmile::twilightsmile::twilightsmile:

Rarity, such depths of deception. And yes I do believe Pinkie would eat every pony.

Twilight: I don't feel so bad about my peaness anymore :twilightsheepish:

Rarity: ...............Wat? :raritydespair:

That... That was BEAUTIFUL!

Brain.... Floor off pick up must.
Word... One Say have to I.... MOAR! :flutterrage:

Don't laugh. The giant Staypuff Marshmallow man from Ghostbusters proves that Twilight's theory has merit.

>but when it comes to furry things
images.encyclopediadramatica.se/thumb/4/4a/Furfag_ponies.jpg/450px-Furfag_ponies.jpg

>I'm counting on you to note listen at the door!
dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Spike_lolface.png

>She hoped Spike couldn't hear this, there was no way to tell how traumatized he'd be. Or maybe the opposite, which was arguably worse
e.deviantart.net/emoticons/moods/love/lust/aroused.gif

>Rarity... you're not suggesting that Pinkie Pie would... eat you, right?
Take it in what sense thou wilt dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Rarity_lolface.png

>“I wasn't eavesdropping,” he said far too quickly
Suspiciously Specific Denial dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Twilight_Sparkle_lolface.png

>There will be parties
>Oh yes... there WILL be parties....
media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ly1z86cWdc1r2n89a.gif

>Her perfectly safe and sane friend
:pinkiecrazy:

>Why, come to think of it, she didn't even know what gelatin was, and how silly was that?
Very silly dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Redheart_hmph.png

>Twilight had read up on her neighcromacy
Neighcrophilia dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Pinkie_loool.png

692893 dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_YouDontSay2.png

My god, this was the funniest thing I've read in a while! Rarity is indeed the Queen of Marshmallows (and the best prankster pony)! :raritystarry:

dafuk??????
That was TERRIBL, just TERRIBLE how they pranked twilight like that,:rainbowkiss: and luna did not help
ALSO IS ANYONE ELSE STILL FREAKED OUT ABOUT THE GELATIN THING IN EQUSTRIA. Im sorry but this is mindfuck terrioty.
also twilight needs a shotgun as a weapon to fight the zombie pony made of sugar....

....this just gave me a whole new outlook on "Thine backside is whole and ungobbled!"

But overall, this fic?
denver.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/rsz/mlfw490_medium.jpg

Yay indeed. Amusing and totally awesome.

I was kind of hoping for Cokepony to show up, but I'm not disappointed. Truly, this was glorious. Thank you for writing it.

MORE. PLEASE MORE.

That was clever. At first, I was very much, "WTF" and then you hit with "lol prank + Trixie," and I had a good laugh.

I'm pretty sure one can make marshmallows without using gelatin, actually. And I knew what gelatin was before it was explained, yay me! That biochemistry course finally pays off!

But yes: this fic? Total win. Not the layout I'm used to, but a good one. Some spelling errors, but in a beast this long that's to be expected. Note eavesdropping instead of not eavesdropping is the one that sticks out. The pranking is a little cruel, but so beautifully executed I can't help but snicker.

Well done, well done.

Screwball. Creation of Discord, mane and tail of cotton candy, bone of hard taffy and rock candy mixture, cartilage of soft taffy or hard bubblegum, fat of marshmallow, muscle, skin and fur of gummy candy. Comparable to the bearer of the Element of Laughter in personality. Prefers to cause humerus, harmless chaos in the form of pranks. Also has a minor case of psychopathy and self cannibalism. Cutie mark of screw and baseball connected by metal wire, when used it shattered the wooden bat. Marks indicated the screw cracked the bat, which then shattered on impact with the baseball. Only superficial injury, in the form of splinters, occurred. Expressed sadness at making the pranked cry.

Feel free to use this in a sequel. Or your own story, for any others.

Twilight's eyes widened. “That explains why you have such a hard time getting along with Sweetie Belle! You've suppressed all your genealogical bewilderment by channeling it into your dressmaking career, leaving no room for familial self-identification, which is substituted for by broader-scaled societal tribalism! Of course your identity issues would make it impossible for you to connect to Sweetie Belle on an emotional level without experiencing significant backlash to the ego from your super-ego! It all makes sense now!”

Now I know. Karkadinn IS Twilight.

1130797
Oh, you mean Screwball.
th08.deviantart.net/fs70/200H/i/2011/349/9/a/screwball_by_vexorb-d4biifp.png

1209008, I have waited 2 weeks... and I get that?

Oh stars ... my sides. :rainbowlaugh:

This would be a marvelous story with some aggressive editing -- you've got a number of scenes that serve neither the purpose of advancing the comedy nor of fleshing out your premise -- but even as it stands it's a very good one. The idea that you spin the tale around is mildly amusing on its own, but you escalate it surely and relentlessly until it crystallizes into absurdity. "Today I learned that friends need to trust each other not to resort to cannibalism ..." And then it gets crazier.

I think that this story would shine if you could get it down to about, say, 6000 words, with every scene building to a gag or an escalation. It would also let comedy relentlessly drive the story instead of fighting for page time with your more serious moments. (Not that they're not well written, but the mood whiplash detracts.) Regardless, it's earned a fave.

(Here via http://www.fimfiction.net/blog/63384 btw.)

I fell for it and was looking forward to whatever crazy idea you would come up with for explaining Rarities biology.

Only the whole "undead infection" thing...:facehoof: Non-sequitor much, Twilight?

695059

I blame the lack of a good cover image. ;D

696572

Thank you for catching that! I had thought that I'd covered all the little conflicting details, but that one just slipped on by. I'll include an explanation for that one if I ever get around to a revision.

809277

Sorry, it's a one-off, like most of my silly comedy. I hope to have more one-offs in the future though....

883078

Could you expound on the layout thing? This is my first MLP fic and (obviously) my first Fimfiction fic, so I'm interested in seeing how it differs from the fandom's usual fic expectations and assumptions.

1216274

I usually use fanfiction as a relaxation/wind-down from 'serious' writing, so, in contrast to a lot of fic authors, I don't do many drafts or much editing. So what you see here is pretty raw and stream of consciousness - and, of course, typo-speckled. I may correct this in the future if I can think of enough ways I'd like to improve it (or if there's enough demand for it), but it would be pretty unusual for me.

And, personally, I LOVE mood whiplash. I use it deliberately a lot, because stories that stick too closely to specific genres or specific moods/atmospheres frequently bug me with their constraints. In invoking those mood shifts I try to make the world flow and feel more 'natural.' But YMMV, and I've had plenty of readers who didn't care for it, and that's perfectly valid, too.

1231252

Well, this might just be my experience, but I was told that the standard way of typing dialogue was along the lines of:

The white marshmallow raised an eyebrow.

"Darling, are you sure that chocolate sauce is safe?"

"Safer than the whipped cream, at least," came the reply.

More space in between lines to avoid it looking like a wall of text. But that's just what I've been told, don't take it as gospel.

One of the best things on this site.

Wow... This... is.... HILARIOUS!!!!!!:rainbowlaugh: I salute your expert one-shot writing skills with a Trollestia and a mustache. :trollestia::moustache:

Poor Twilight. :facehoof:

A classic farce! I love it. I don't usually crack up IRL reading comedyfics, but this one got some good laughs.

'I'm counting on you to note listen at the door!'

Should be 'not', surely?

Great story though.

Jon

I read this a night or two ago, but late enough that I was too tired to leave a thorough comment when I finished.

I quite enjoyed this story. I also totally bought that Rarity was serious about being a marshmallow. This is fanfiction, after all, so insane things like that aren't beyond the pale. It was very engaging, and definitely made me chuckle a few times.

My one big point of criticism is that I feel like the character voices are notably off base here. That's not to say I don't enjoy your characterizations – I do – but they're not the characterizations I expect from canon. The image of Twilight thwacking others and repeating a "bad pony" mantra is amusing, but it's very different from how Twilight acts in the series. I have similar feelings about the amount of Pinkie's fourth-wall breaking. Though it does make me want to write a Pinkie Epic Adventure short where she's basically just running around being genre-savvy and solving problems before they even occur.

Anyway, as I said, definitely a fun story. I'm glad 695059's blog sent me this way!

2379476

I think I agree with you for the most part. There were quite a few places where I had difficulty with the dialogue, and an easy but somewhat out of character gag came to mind, so the choice became 'easy gag and OC' or 'no easy gag and IC.' And I ended up doing the first option a lot, purely because I didn't have anything better to fill the gaps with.

I still don't have anything better to fill those gaps with, but one can hope that I'll get better at writing the characters with more experience. I expect this one was particularly rough, being my first story with the ponies. They're actually surprisingly difficult to get a handle on in some ways, being a bit more well-rounded and versatile than you'd expect from a childrens' cartoon.

This reminded me just how long it's been since I've put my head to the fanfic grindstone properly. Man, I need to write more.

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