Everypony Has Their Buttons...
“You’re going to love this show, Mac. It’s totally worth the trip to Manehattan.” Dash grinned, hovering next to Mac, a foreleg thrown around his shoulder.
It was a hot, late summer day, not the nicest season in a big crowded city. But harvest would be starting soon and Dash insisted they needed a vacation before Mac threw himself into weeks of hard labor.
Mac smiled and gave her a nuzzle. “Eyup.”
“Oh it so is,” the green unicorn stallion in front of them in line said, looking at them over his shoulder. They were all waiting for the doors to open to the Bridleway theater.
“Aw yeah, hoofbump,” Dash extended her hoof.
The stallion turned around and bumped it lightly. He grinned, tossing his floppy orange mane out of his eyes. “I’ve seen it five times! Center Stage is amazing!”
“Yeah, she’s awesome!” Dash agreed.” I saw it last time I was here. I’m not even big on musicals myself, but the big dope here loves ‘em, and he’s never even seen it.” She elbowed Mac with a fond smile, which he returned.
“He sounds like a stallion after my own heart.” He held out a hooficured hoof. “My name’s Day Trader.”
“Rainbow Dash,” Dash said, shaking his hoof. “And this is Big Macintosh,” she added, as Day Trader shook Mac’s giant hoof. “But you can call him Mac.”
“Nice to meet you two. So, you don’t usually like musicals?”
“Most of them are just a bunch of ponies singing and dancing.” Dash rolled her eyes.
“You sound like my boyfriend,” Day Trader chuckled. “Maybe you can talk him into seeing Hinny.”
Dash grinned. “I’ll totally talk anypony into seeing Hinny of the Hills. Just let me at him after the show!”
“Actually, I’m meeting him at Fetlock’s afterwards. Have you guys ever been there?” He cocked his head.
“Nope,” Mac answered.
“We’re from out of town,” Dash added.
Day Trader’s face lit up, and he laid a hoof on Mac’s shoulder, smiling at both of them. “You have to come, you’ll love it! Why don’t you come out for drinks with us?”
“Sure!” Dash grinned. Then she caught Mac’s eyebrows raised at her. “Don’t give me that look. If it was up to you we’d never meet anypony.” She turned back to Day Trader. “He’s just shy.”
Day Trader gave a sympathetic smile and gave Mac’s shoulder a pat. “The big ones always are.”
After the show, Day Trader led Mac and Dash a few blocks through the city. It was late, but everything seemed to be open in Manehattan. They shoved their way quickly through crowds of ponies, past restaurants and shops with bright neon signs.
Eventually they came to a pink sign that said “Fetlock’s,” with a burly flexed foreleg next to the name in the same neon. Standing at the door was a stallion about Mac’s size, tattooed like he had the cutie pox and sporting a hoofful of facial piercings.
Day Trader handed the stallion a bit, while Mac pulled out two bits. The tattooed stallion took the bits from Day Trader, and one of Mac’s bits, then opened the door with a wink to Mac. Dash thought that was weird, but forgot about it when she saw the inside of the club.
The lights inside weren’t much brighter than the illuminated nighttime street outside, and the room was just as colorful. In the bar, dim drop lights hung over brightly painted tables, and in a row over a bar styled in neon green and chrome. Through a door towards the back Dash could see ponies dancing and hear the pounding bass.
But their stop was a table towards the front where a stocky beige earth pony in a light purple tie sat waiting. He grinned when he spotted them.
“You brought some friends?” He said, standing up to greet Day Trader with a hug and a nuzzle.
“You know I can’t help bringing home strays.” Day Trader returned the hug, and then turned to Mac and Dash, his foreleg still around the stallion. “This is my boyfriend, Lancet Arch. Arch, this is Rainbow Dash and Mac. They’re from out of town, I met them in line for the show.”
The introduced ponies shook hooves and settled in at the table. As they sat down, a skinny stallion came over to take their order, and returned a few moments later with beers all around.
“There are a lot of stallions here,” Dash said, looking around. Most of the tables were full of stallions, and a few more sat at the bar. The waiter and the bartender were both stallions, and everypony she saw come out of the dance floor seemed to be a stallion. She was pretty sure she was the only mare here.
“Well, of course there are.” Day Trader smiled. “It’s one of the nice things about the big city, there are places for colts like us to hang out together and enjoy each other’s company.”
Mac smirked and rolled his eyes. “It’s a gay bar, Dash. Didn’t ya’ see the bouncer wink at me?”
Dash blinked. “Oh!” Her eyes went wide. “Hold on, you got your cover waved for being hot? That’s awesome!” She grinned and nudged Mac proudly.
Arch smiled and rolled his eyes. “Tats likes muscle stallions.”
Mac just took a drink of beer, then smiled and shrugged. “Farm work’s good for a body.”
“How about you, Rainbow? Do you keep in shape working the farm?” Day Trader asked.
“Nah, I work out. I’m in the Wonderbolt reserves,” Dash grinned and leaned forward so they could admire her toned foreleg.
“Well that’ll keep a pony in shape!” Arch laughed.
“It sure works for that Soarin’.” Day Trader let out an appreciative whistle.
“Eh, he’s got a nice flank, but who needs that when you’ve got a guy with a nice everything?” Dash grinned and slapped Mac’s rock hard shoulder playfully.
Day Trader offered his beer for a toast. “I’ll drink to that.”
Dash tapped his bottle with her own.
“Y’all…” Mac blushed and took another sip of beer.
“Hey, I hear you’ve got the stallions all over you. Guess I’d better keep an eye on you in here.” Dash laughed.
“You better keep an eye on him, too.” Day Trader said to Mac, motioning with his bottle toward Dash. “A twink as cute as he is will catch everypony’s eye.”
Dash blinked, then narrowed her eyes. “What did you call me?”
“A twink?” Day Trader smiled. “It just means a wiry little pretty-colt type.”
Mac raised his eyebrows. “Dash is a--”
“No way am I a pretty-colt type!” Dash cut in, slamming a hoof on the table. “I’m in the Wonderbolt reserves! And I don’t even brush my mane! Mac goes to the spa more than I do!”
“Well, you’re a nut who don’t understand a nice hooficure and a massage.” Mac took another drink of beer.
“There’s nothing wrong with a hooficure and a massage,” Arch agreed, nodding approvingly.
Day Trader rolled his eyes, still smiling. “Oh come on, you two are so traditional. A big, buff bear with unshorn fetlocks, and a cute little twink who lives at the gym? Just own it!” He finished with a wave of his hoof.
“Uh, we ain’t--” Mac started.
“I’m. Not. Cute!” Dash stood to her rear hooves, leaning over the table. “Awesome? Sure! Hot. Athletic... but I don’t have a rutting cute, pretty bone in my body!”
“Okay!” Day Trader raised his hooves in surrender. “Okay! How about… fierce and fabulous?”
Dash paused. “...okay, yeah. I like that.” She grinned, relaxing back into her seat. “Fierce and fabulous!”
Arch chuckled and smiled at Mac. “He’s a hoofful, isn’t he?”
“Actually… Dash’s a mare,” Mac said calmly.
Arch and Day Trader both stared at him. Then they looked at Dash and their eyes slowly went wide.
“Oh Celestia!” Day Trader said, putting a hoof over his mouth. “I’m so sorry! Just, your voice, and you obviously work out--”
“We honestly didn’t mean anything by it,” Arch assured her.
“Huh?” Dash raised an eyebrow at them. Then the realization hit her, and she smiled and waved a hoof. “Oh yeah, the colt thing. I get that sometimes, it’s cool.” Her smiled turned to a quick glare. “Just don’t call me cute.”
The other couple shrugged at each other, then nodded.
“Can I call ya’ cute?” Mac said, leaning over and nudging Dash with a smirk on his face.
Dash snorted a laugh and rolled her eyes. “Only ‘cause you’re a dope.”
Mac leaned his head in, and Dash nuzzled him quickly.
Then she turned back to the other stallions, her face all business. She pointed a hoof at Arch. “Now, I understand that you need to go see Hinny of the Hills, the most awesome musical there is.”
Arch raised his eyebrows and laughed. “Oh boy. I’m not getting off easy this time.”
Day Trader leaned back in his seat and smirked. “I might as well buy the tickets now.”
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That was brilliant
Well, that happened.
...I want to see more of this.
Maybe a random cameo in a later story where Dash mentions she has a bunch of gay stallion friends?
I mean RainbowMac for real...
But seriously this is a great, if only a bit weird, funny little story
I promise if I write a story with a similar theme soon (which I've been laying out but haven't started writing), I had it planned prior to reading this one.
6480989
I will probably approve of that story. Don't let my silly rambling impede you in any way.
6481008
EDIT: Luna's sake, everypony. How you are reading my comment is not what I meant.
Very appropriate chapter title. Good to see the misunderstanding was resolved easily. Thank you for an amusing read.
Okay, that went where I wasn't expecting, and I really loved it. Also, MacDash was surprisingly believable once the story got to Fetlock's. But the fact that Dash has a huge problem with being called cute, and no problem at all with being mistaken for a colt, which I'm sure was the whole point of the story—that was just excellent, and felt very in character, to be honest. Especially in how she just moves on to "Hinny of the Hills" at the end.
Nice job all around, even if it is just a tinyfic.
And the thing that gets her riled up isn't being mistaken for a stallion, but being called cute. Ah, Dash, never change.
The story didn't need the MacDash. Take that out and it only gets better.
Love Rainbow in this
. I hate being called cute too 
6481112
Not really, because most of my point was that you can write Dash in a straight ship without totally changing her personality.
But I'm probably not making MacDash a habit, so don't worry.
Dammit. I want to go to a gay bar now. I just never have the balls to because of social awkwardness and insecurities
I've been told what I normally wear would attract a fuckton of attention. I guess that's what happens if you wear all black in a really fruity environment? It's, like, you can't hide in the corner. Like, attention is nice, but not too much.
6481052
I was reminded of the time one of my old bosses hosted a Magic draft and I brought along a friend. When Travis introduced himself, my boss and his friends misheard him say "Trevor" and that's what they called him for like three fourths of the draft, when he finally corrected them. I guess Travis didn't correct them because he might've felt it was impolite or something. I guess I was the same, but mostly distracted by deck building because Zendikar. Ok, I was being a dick and saying nothing to see how long it would take before he thought his name was actually Trevor :B
Also someone drafted a foil Chandra Ablaze and didn't sleeve
Yeah, don't you love those moments where someone gets something about someone wrong and nobody corrects them for a super long time? Awkward moments are awkward.
Ah, so it's that trope. Not the one I'd expected, but an even dumber and more amusing one. Dash's reaction was perfect.
That was such a good set up! I love it. You can call her a colt, but just don't call her cute!
UVF for you. And I'm passing a reference to a friend as well.
This is hilarious! Hey, you can call Dash anything, just don't call her that. Well done.
Pfft - this was fabulous. I don't know why, but the exchange where Dash says Mac's just shy, and then Day Trader was all "The big ones always are." made me laugh.
6481120
Hey, a man can dream.
But a great little snippet, nonetheless. Stories that only exist to tell s single punchline are usually without any other merit, but you managed to make this a bit more than it needed to be. Mac and Dash were adorable, as were Arch and Trader. It makes me want to read more, but I guess I'll just have to stick with Cap U, KarmaDash, and Bad_Seed for my QuietHorse/FastHorse needs.
6481342
If it helps, I do appreciate the ship more now, and will probably add it to my list of potential background or side ships. You just might have to wade through some TwiJack to get it.
I was legitimately sad when I didn't see an Applejack tag. But, since this is a bookplayer story, I wasn't worried.
6481120
Guh, where doe the idea that you can't write RD in a straight relationship come from?
Quite nice little slice of life, and either Big Mac is a worldly stallion or the nightlife in ponyville is better than expected.
6481407
Many of the fics I've read that feature Rainbow in a straight relationship seem OOC to me. They tend to play up a very girly side she doesn't have on the show, having her worried about things like cooking dinner or worrying about being pretty enough, or else they rely on a stock tsundere trope.
I find it hard to imagine Dash acting like that in a relationship with anyone, male or female, so I wanted to write a fic where she's still the Dash that I see: enthusiastic, tough, cocky, teasing, and unconcerned with anything that isn't awesome.
6481526
Soul Killer is the name of my red and black alicorn OC.
6481433
Generally, my issue with ships I'm not fond of is similar to this. It's not the ship itself, it's the way it's generally written. For example, Flutterdash with its dominating, bossy Fluttershy and meek Dash. So, when I saw this fic, the fact that's it's a ship I wasn't too fond of was easily outweighed by my trust of you as an author.
(Oh, possible Monday blog topic. Character voice, not just what they say but how they say it. E.g. Rarity is formal and a bit purple when around others, She has a large vocabulary that she uses confidently. Her words often are chosen to draw attention to class...)
...bookie, was this a peace offering to Jake to try and get him to write an AppleDash fic? 'Cause if you made that sacrifice for us, th-then... you. Are. WOMAN-JESUS to me!
6481798 6481342
Nah... First hit's free.
Next one, though...
6481814
Kk.
6481433 With recent Mac episodes, I thinks it's safe to say that the roles could be completely reversed here, with Mac being the one to worry about his looks and such (Being a preformer for the Ponytones and having contact with Rarity and all) and Dash being the one wearing the trousers, so to speak.
Regardless, this was adorable! Great job!
This was fun. You keep on keepin' on, bookplayer.
I reviewed this story!
My review can be found here.
6481433
Ok in that case, it's ship with a purpose. I can understand that.
Unfortunately, even though your noble purpose was to clean up the Dash ship, it runs afoul of the other misbegotten fanon of Big Mac being some Equestrian don juan which I can't stand.
To quote: "Eeyup"
I'll admit, I didn't see the twist coming. Clever.
Two words... YAS KWEEN!
Cute. I'd better see what else you wrote.
6482502
What did you just call this story?
6482524 Typo, sorry. I meant "good."
Good because it's cute, bwahaha everyone fight me
This is brilliant! XD Now why can't I find the fic where Big Mac gets his jimmies rustled?...
Good work. Tons of fics don't even come close to delivering on Dash's personality like this. Be proud of it.
6481433 Alternatively, you could probably have Dash get worried about not being feminine enough to attract a particular stallion - so she would still hate, say, cooking, but try to do it anyways (with disastrous results) because she thinks it's expected. The struggle would be with the expectation, though.
The moral of the tale being, of course, about not changing who you are to please someone else.
Though that is more of a Rarity story.
6482694
Yeah... the thing with Dash (as I see her) is that there's a hard and fast line between "Awesome" and "Not Awesome," and being emotionally soft is always "Not Awesome." It's okay to be Not Awesome sometimes, in private, with someone she really really trusts, but I don't think that in a situation where she felt insecure in her relationship she'd even be willing to try being Not Awesome.
Basically, any relationship where she had to be more feminine to catch or keep the guy, she wouldn't be willing to do it, and if she was comfortable enough to let her soft side show it would be because she knew she didn't need to.
But that's just how it feels in character to me.
I like it, that was
cuteawesome.Wait... That was it? Really?
s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/e5/b0/22/e5b0224150e6ca410cef197021e0bc75.gif
Credits to Amaraw for this gif he posted in my story.
6483005 I'm stealing that gif. I need this for future comments on oneshots I read.
Bookplayer, you nailed this fic perfectly. I thought it was going to get offensive, but I was sorely mistaken. Well done.
Have an upvote and a fave.
6482747 That sounds like it is right on the money to me, although the real fun happens when you force cute on her in public. The awkward squirming and protests just make her even more adorable than she already is for some amusing shenanigans.
A "Dash is straight" fic that doesn't keep beating the reader over the head with "lol Dash is totally straight, deal with it you silly boy"?
Now that is a pleasant surprise. Please, have an upvote.
I liked it. Nuff said.
6480897 Go figure that KarmaDash was the first one to comment on this story.
Boy, you don't wait around when it comes to MacDash.
6483545 Damn right I don't, I never miss a beat when it comes to my ship