• Member Since 22nd Dec, 2012
  • offline last seen 11 hours ago


The Man. The Legend. The World's Strongest Writer


Comments ( 316 )

Gaben Newell approves

Happy Mother's Day!

Yaaay! Happy Mother's Day!

4367339 Imma read this to my mom tomorrow! :rainbowkiss:

Nice, very nice, yes.

So, if it's incomplete... What happens next?

Also, there are two Twilight Velvet incest fics in the feature box right now... Is this just a really weird trend?

I can only assume you'll be needing that clip again

PLOT TWIST. Hahaha omg i did not expect that.:derpyderp2:

What happened? GABEN HAPPENED!

Zero comments on this? Really? Alright then.

Biggest issues I can see. Is the grammar. You're writing it like this Shakespearicles. And it's really niggling at me to read.

Good enough read so far for me to forgive it though, for now.

Sparkle incest story? yay!

Sparkle incest story written by Shakespearicles? OFUCKYES! :D

Liked, Fav'd, and ready to read!

4367479 Mother's Day tomorrow.
4367605 I suppose it kinda is my thing.
4367482 You are correct.

"Shining, if you be good, and not tell anypony about this, and we can have one last 'special hug'. But not until NEXT Mother's Day!"

NEXT Mother's Day

First time I've seen a shipping clopfic of Shining Armor and Twilight Velvet. Gotta say, love it :moustache:

I like this chapter.

Dang it! We had this great little wincest fic going, and you just had to ruin it with the whole "brother/sister is actually her father/mother" thing. One of the more irritating tropes in the fandom.

This was a very good clop fic. :rainbowwild:
Thanks a lot! :pinkiehappy:

This was actually surprisingly good. The narrative voice was great, and that was what made the story, but the list of small errors and paragraph pacing was way confusing. There were a couple cases where there were very obvious spelling mistakes that could have been caught with a single editing sweep, and once where asterisks were used to display an action, which is the biggest sin of narrative.

Your voice as an author is brilliant. This story just lacks the polish that it needs to be something really good. It's there. It's just not quite there.

Note: opinions not based on sexual content or opinion on consensual foalcon.

[edit] Also, look up dialogue tags and use those in the future. It makes dialogue so much easier to read.

4368198 Thank you for your input. I'll give it another look over.

Now every time I see that damn acronym, I will always be reminded of this story.

10/10 would read again.

Ah yes, Mother's Day, the day when Twilight Velvet and Shining Armour clopfics rule the Featured Box!

Eh, well written, minor errors, and a bit of a twist... I think? Certainly not bad... but I can't say it's 'great' either.

Yeah, you put it perfectly.

After that she barren.

Skip to 1:15

Big Brother, Biological Father Forever.


4369000 Don't forget that Twilight Velvet with futa Twilight is still up there.

This story got an unusually good rating for an incestuous, foalcon clopfic, I'll have to read and probably enjoy it now :pinkiecrazy:

The extra doses of mare hormones that Shining had fed to his unbeknownst mother

Should be something like (The extra doses of unbeknownst to kim mare hormones that Shining had fed to his mother) or something like that. I am not to familiar with that word but the way you have it here makes it read like he does not know it's his mother when you intend for it to mean he unwittingly gave his mother those hormones.

Hohohoho....wait does that mean Velvet is Twilight's 1/2 grandma?....and how old are the characters anyway? I mean one could say Shining is 12 (13 at the end) and Velvet is 28-30 :derpyderp2:

She looked... beautiful. She looked so young and vibrant. Gone was any sign of her age, no laugh lines, no post-foal belly. He'd given her curves in all the right places. Her flank was toned and shapely, her expression, seductive. Her pose, risque! Her butt was prominently featured, the artist's view from behind. She was looking back over her shoulder, with come-hither eyes. The smile he'd drawn on her looked more like a foxy smirk. She was sexy! Was this really how she looked to him in his mind?

This reminded me of Elbia; a character from an anime. she was in heat and started drawing pictures of the guy she had the hots for.

One more thing. I think that the sex seemed a little unbelievable in the sense that he had fully put his man parts into his mom and yet his only reaction was something like "I felt that feeling from the night before" I think it could have been more believable if he had thought something like "it felt like that bath from last night but way better" I mean yeah he does not understand what is going on but he does understand when something feels really really good. and I argue that sex for the first time feels really really good . . .at least if your a guy lol.

I do in fact like the story just to be clear.

I had wondered why no mention of Twilight and because the show never says how old the characters are I just always assumed Shining was like 2 or 3 years alder for some reason? Anyways I guessed the ending as soon as I read he never pulled out of his mom. But even though I saw it a hundread miles away I still liked it.

I think you would do well to write a story about Appleblooms origins next . . .:applecry:

what intrigues me the most is that this story is tagged "incomplete" :pinkiecrazy: so maybe in the future we get a special chapter of Shinning celebrating a very special mother´s day

Oh my god why am I reading this! And why can't I stop!! :facehoof:

"Is there anything else you'd like me to do for you today mom?" He asked.

Fuck me.



Welp, I'm just gonna go over to the corner and cry myself to sleep, thank you very much.

This was amazingly hilarious, and I do like the concept.

4369629 I'm torn between whether that was an unironic plead or a sarcastic growl. Either way was funny.

Also, why are there stairs in that house? I thought the Shakespearicles way was to rocket jump to the second floor[!]

So wrong... So hot...

this... this is my new canon

4369284 I'll add that.
4369338 I think it's been done: Have a Link
4369744 plea

My only issue is that this ended so soon.
Will there be any more?

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