• Member Since 2nd Oct, 2011
  • offline last seen September 5th


Navy Vet working IT, I usually write about whatever inspires me.

Comments ( 114 )


Sorry, I just had to get that out of my system. It's never a good idea to have a typo in your title. :twilightsheepish:

I...why...what, fuck this:ajbemused:

Not saying it was bad but just why:applejackunsure:

That was really good I have to say

Scenes were too fast, drag it out a bit, make us believe we can feel something too.

I thought it was just right. Sometimes clop doesn't need a true story. Maybe that is just my libido speaking... Or that the talk of her vagina muscles and her clitoris winking being my fetish makes me bias... What makes a good clop, in my opinion, is talk of the female genitalia and how it reacts to stimulation, and this had that!

Wow... that was good. The twist at the end made this for me.

Twilight and Shining Armor forever. I'm a horrible person...

I regret nothing.

I'm still a bit confused about the ending. Shining is getting married to Cadence, but he's screwing Twilight beforehand? Or is he instead getting married to Twilight? Either way, I loved the story in its entirety.

5586407 he and twi are having one last fling

Very nice! Thumbs up!

Not bad! I'll agree with some others that it moved a little too fast, but for a clopfic it works well. My only other complaint is the whole "kitty" bit. Twilight is one of the few fillies that would really research something and get the terminology right! :twilightsheepish:

One typo I caught, near the end:

She woke up with a grunt, “Shining, you should be resting for the wedding, thhe real one this time.”

5587048 damn keyboard and your hyper sensitive H key! You've doomed us all!!

No seriously, I hit H once and it sometimes registers 4 or 5 times.

Comment posted by Shukawarioserfi deleted Feb 5th, 2015

a pony’s kitty!

My inner deviant and secret pervert ticked at this. From that line on you had my interest...


I was able to fit the entire toothbrush in there, isn’t that amazing?


Too short too quick. WANT MOAR

Yay! A new Sparklecest story! ^_^

I admit, I've read better Sparklecest stories. However, this is definitely a very respectable first attempt. Keep up the good work!

at the end I said out lowd in my room with my mom passing by and barly the time to shut the computer "What the-!"

Picture source? Or tags that I could throw to google.
Cropped images are hard to find with web search...

Well a number would be better as I couldn't find it using tags.

Contains .... innocence

You sure about that?

5588854 https://derpibooru.org/ - search "shining sparkle,explicit"

5586202 That image is so ridiculously appropriate. I am laughing my ass off

Your first clop fic and you chose TwiShine incest AND foalcon? You got some balls man. (I loved it)

you got those word out of my mouth m8
also writer
10/10 would tag team that foal

Really good. You have a great deal of potential.

I don't usually like incest. As a matter of fact, I hate it. So kudos to you, because this was fantastic. ;)

I enjoyed the animation that the cover is from.

"Well...Fuck I don't know ." 10/10 -IGN

Ya know, this is based off an animation.... Get it? No, okay.

"Fucktastic" 10/ 10 -National Book Awards 2015, Poetry.

I know where you got that picture~ :heart:

5586202 And then they had children with eleven toes... wait...

5587048 Yeah, how could she not know the real terms? I was only moderately into anatomy when I was young and I still knew what a penis and vagina were. I learned about sex in anatomy books when I was about 8. I have to assume Twilight is at least ten in this, wow I feel dirty, so she should know!

Things like this make me question why I'm even part of this fan-base.
Then again, Turnabout Storm exists, so I'm conflicted.

Not gonna lie, TwiShine and foalcon for your first clopfic.... You sir, have some major balls. And the story was even decently okay, I will admit.

:moustache: very well done. For a first story, not even half bad. i do admit that a few things seemed slightly rushed, but thats how oneshots can be sometimes. good job!

“Yeah, but this is a super-secret, everything we did this morning okay?” She nodded. “Okay, turns around like you were before.”

"Yea, but this is a super-secret, like everything we did this morning okay?" She nodded. "Okay, now turn around like you were before."

5591097 Corrected - thank you! :raritywink:

I like how random early comments have a downvotes on them.

For a first, this wasn't very bad at all. have a moustache for the effort :moustache:

-Sanity is overrated

Gott en Himmel, man, how big of a hurry are you in? SLOW DOWN.
This is short to the point of making everything in it absurd.

Shouldn't this be called "Shining Armor's Premature Ejaculation?" I have nothing against foalcon/incest (quite the contrary:twilightsheepish:), but this fic was just badly written. :pinkiesad2: Mostly because of the horrid cliché storm of storytelling and the unbelievably rushed pacing.

I do gather after reading the comments that it was your first fic and for that to be foalcon, I do tip my mustache to you.

5590688 You just have to admit it: The forbidden fruit running its sweet preteen nectar down Twily's thighs drew you in. Don't worry, nobody will judge you.

Thaaaaaaat waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaas sooooooooomething ellllllllllllllllsssse....... Whhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhyyyyyyyyy ammmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii taaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaallllllllking liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiike this.

I understand it was quick...

But really... That was on the brink of being rushed.


♫ Twilight's parents seem to be loving, caring, and knowledgeable to some degree. They sent her to Private Institute. What kind of sick parent fucks would let their eight-year-old-filly or so get a hold of a book that is teaching about "kitties"?


Was disappointed at the lack of anal the picture implied.
Still good though.

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