She looked... beautiful. She looked so young and vibrant. Gone was any sign of her age, no laugh lines, no post-foal belly. He'd given her curves in all the right places. Her flank was toned and shapely, her expression, seductive. Her pose, risque! Her butt was prominently featured, the artist's view from behind. She was looking back over her shoulder, with come-hither eyes. The smile he'd drawn on her looked more like a foxy smirk. She was sexy! Was this really how she looked to him in his mind?
This reminded me of Elbia; a character from an anime. she was in heat and started drawing pictures of the guy she had the hots for.
One more thing. I think that the sex seemed a little unbelievable in the sense that he had fully put his man parts into his mom and yet his only reaction was something like "I felt that feeling from the night before" I think it could have been more believable if he had thought something like "it felt like that bath from last night but way better" I mean yeah he does not understand what is going on but he does understand when something feels really really good. and I argue that sex for the first time feels really really good . . .at least if your a guy lol.
The chapter is good, it is something new i think, i like it that he is so naive and tried to keep her healthy Normally i don´t like Shining Armor the most time, but here he is just a young colt.
Shining was exhausted. He'd never expected this back rub to have become so physically demanding. He collapsed on top of her. She wrapped her hooves around the back of his head, stroking his mane. His breathing slowed from the exertion as she calmed him against her. In a matter of moments he was soundly asleep. She hadn't the heart to wake him by moving herself. She shifted slightly, rolling them onto their sides gently, pulling the covers over them. She joined him in sleeping shortly after.
And then: The door to velvet's room opened and in the doorway, stood her husband, Night light. He took in the scene and had a look of shock. he then slowly backed out of the room.
Realistic scenario: overdose, ded because SCHTOOPID, trauma4life, no Twilight, the world eez fukt. How2cause Armageddon in four simple steps. Then again, clopfiction rules and all that.
Not to rain on your parade, I did like it, to be sure. But the whole situation made me laugh despite myself.
I love how oblivious and innocent he is about this whole situation. It kinda fuels my "unaware of their first time" fantasy...which is debatable as being rape, but he seemed ok with it.
There are no words... there are no words to describe how hot that was. It was sweet, and romantic, and caring, and exciting, and beautiful, and sexy as fuck all at the same time!
You really drew me in and carried me through Velvet's perspective! This whole story I could see it all from the exact way that she would have seen it thanks to your writing!
She thought about writing a fantastic story about a Pegasus adventurer who searched for ancient treasures... no, no, no, she was just channeling Daring Do stories again. A young colt orphan who goes to magic school and eventually fights the one who killed his parents... nah. A story about the ponies living in a shelter from the fallout of a worldwide apocalypse, eventually venturing out into the world... She laughed out loud at the idea. Who would want to read such a thing?
I like this chapter.
img3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20120302051632/charitwo/images/f/fe/Neat-spiderman.gif
4368249
Look, it's my face!
HNNNGGG!!!
This reminded me of Elbia; a character from an anime. she was in heat and started drawing pictures of the guy she had the hots for.
One more thing. I think that the sex seemed a little unbelievable in the sense that he had fully put his man parts into his mom and yet his only reaction was something like "I felt that feeling from the night before" I think it could have been more believable if he had thought something like "it felt like that bath from last night but way better" I mean yeah he does not understand what is going on but he does understand when something feels really really good. and I argue that sex for the first time feels really really good . . .at least if your a guy lol.
I do in fact like the story just to be clear.
So wrong... So hot...
I feel so dirty, yet It feels so right. This is borderline rape since he has no idea what he is doing, but I just can't get over how HOT it is!
4369284 just let be fiction fiction.
It is ok the way it is.
The chapter is good, it is something new i think, i like it that he is so naive and tried to keep her healthy
Normally i don´t like Shining Armor the most time, but here he is just a young colt.
And then: The door to velvet's room opened and in the doorway, stood her husband, Night light. He took in the scene and had a look of shock. he then slowly backed out of the room.
YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAH
OH MY GOD
TWILIGHT SPARKLE IS
THE MOTHERBUCKING DAUGHTER
OF SHINING ARMOUR
Typo:
"around her waste"
waist
SHINNING STOP PUTTING YOUR MOMS PILLS IN EVERYTHING!
oblivious fuck is best fuck
Realistic scenario: overdose, ded because SCHTOOPID, trauma4life, no Twilight, the world eez fukt. How2cause Armageddon in four simple steps.
Then again, clopfiction rules and all that.
Not to rain on your parade, I did like it, to be sure. But the whole situation made me laugh despite myself.
4412365 Dude... its hormones not heroine IT would take half the bottle at once to kill someone
oh man i remember when i accidentally fucked my mom because i was giving her a backrub
damn i can be so clumsy
4454759 dahh, what?
Oh, oh okay then. Why do I like this stuff? And why do I like this incest? Even though I'm more of a Shining Armor x Twilight Sparkle fan.
So.... saucy...mmmm...
Even though this is technically rape because he doesn't know what is happening, it is still hot as hell. Your writing of clop is superb.
foalcon, incest, and rape.
Wait..... is this how Twilight Sparkles was born?
Intellectual mom and powerful unicorn 'colt/stallion' conceiving powerful purple unicorn whose talent is magi and is intellectual es well.
TWILIGHT MAKES MUCH MORE SENSE NOW!
Only the colors don't fit, but meeh, if pinkie is any indication, compared to the rest of her folks, that seems unimportant.
5371121 correction, born is when she'd plop out, this is how she was created/made/conceived/baked.
Tim clicked the link and took a five minute break... then continued reading.
Wow. I feel weird for reading this in class.
Never mind. There it is.
Well he sure seems uh, prosaic.
I love how oblivious and innocent he is about this whole situation. It kinda fuels my "unaware of their first time" fantasy...which is debatable as being rape, but he seemed ok with it.
Holy cowbells, that was... intense.
Woof.
another
Watta good story.
After that, all that I got to say is... Heeeeeeeeereeeeeee comes Twilight~
The picture link in the story is broken. I found a working one https://derpibooru.org/321703
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
There are no words... there are no words to describe how hot that was. It was sweet, and romantic, and caring, and exciting, and beautiful, and sexy as fuck all at the same time!
You really drew me in and carried me through Velvet's perspective! This whole story I could see it all from the exact way that she would have seen it thanks to your writing!
6988681
Your link is broken. Please find another one as soon as possible.
10162769
*Cum Splurting Sounds Intensifies*
10164070
https://derpibooru.org/images/321703
4480507
Shining Armor X Twilight is still
wincestincest.media.tenor.com/images/2e77c69787175161334ab44a3ad89df8/tenor.gif
5965113
5966018
I know that it's been a few years, but what happened between typing your comments?
that was targeted and I hate you now /s