• Member Since 22nd Dec, 2012
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Shakespearicles


The Man. The Legend. The World's Strongest Writer

Comments ( 81 )
Spacecowboy
Moderator

This kinda feels hastily thrown together, as if you were rushing to meet a deadline. The first paragraph, for instance, is extremely choppy, with short, clipped sentences. Also, you have a capitalized 'She' when it should be lower cased. The sex was interesting and unique enough, but the overall effect was dampened by the fact that this writing was subpar for you.

EDIT - Things that I saw issues with were addressed, and it's now more in-line with your other story standards. Fixing that really helped bring up the overall mood of the story, as it let me focus solely on the things going on.

Good story, Shakespearicles. I'll keep an eye out for the next one.

Comment posted by Raincloud deleted Jul 7th, 2013

2837598 I appreciate the input. I'll go back and try to flesh those parts out a bit.

2837780
These videos explain my discovery of this and my reactions. (In descending order.)

2838321
It's because I predict this will include one of the following.

* Apples

*Sentries

*Creepy Staring

*Celery

2838362
Maybe.
th06.deviantart.net/fs70/PRE/i/2012/174/4/6/sweetie_belle___dress_by_cptofthefriendship-d54m4o0.png

(Note: Go to 3:15 and pause for the desired face I wish to make while saying this.)

2838460
Damn it, Google. You failed to find a picture for me.
THANKS, MATE!

2838477 Youtube. PrintScreen. MS Paint. Ctrl V. Crop. http://imgur.com/. Upload. Link.
i.imgur.com/BVRsdDH.jpg

2838428 i think hasbro deserves more than 1 tick there....

Well, we made it to the Popular Stories bar. We'll see if it gets featured. :applejackunsure:

Dear Princess Celestia and Princess Luna,

Today I think we all learned a valuable lesson. You've got to share. You've got to care.

Yep, now that song's stuck in my head. On a related note, i'm also laughing uncontrollably.

SO MUCH SEX...
Help me.

2839236 Help you sex?

2839254 Did you click the link and look at the chapters? Because, that was kinda integral to the joke.

2839290 :rainbowderp:um,,, not exactly.

Twiluna, Twilestia, double twilight, and princest. Excellent.

i have only one thing to say

i1.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/225/378/sweetie%20belle%20that%20is%20beautiful.jpg

well two counting this one :scootangel: i was a tad sad that it was a one-shot :twilightblush:

P.S. seems like this Sunday is a day of pictures for me :twilightblush:

So I see a princess Twilight tag, a story marked complete, and a glaring lack of princess Twilight.

Explain yourself, wizard.

2840174 I needed a way to show two Twilights. I guess I derped poorly. :ajsleepy:

I was about to go to sleep.

Then I saw this.

Sleep decided to promptly fuck off.

On one hand, I want to upvote because of the content.
On the other hand, I want to downvore because of politics in a shipfic.
Time for a fair coin toss!
[Edit: took some time to find a coin. The results are not subject to a Freedom of Information Act request. The names of all defendant have been changed to protect the guilty.]

Spacecowboy
Moderator

2837780
Thanks man. It's much better, and more in-line with your other stories as far as writing standards are. TwiLunEstiaLight. Even hotter than TwiLunEstia!

Comment posted by dj-chemicalz deleted Jul 8th, 2013
Comment posted by dj-chemicalz deleted Jul 8th, 2013

2841027 She's a politician. It's not always sunshine and rainbows.
i.imgur.com/bWFK7rS.png

2842884
when are you going to use that idea i gave you? the one where spike is an inanimate object, animated by Twilight to do slavework and such, because she finds the feeling of absolute control over another pleasing?

2843068 I kind of have a lot on my plate at the moment. But feel free to try your hand at that story yourself. Otherwise I might have a version of it like that up around... ~ Christmas?

Spacecowboy
Moderator

2844027
Oh, was just referring to the fact of Two Twilights, Luna and Celestia all together in this one. Kinda made it up on the spot. Twi and Light to refer to the two Twilights in the story. :rainbowwild:

2844055 Oops, sry about the confusion. I mis-referenced the comment. I fixed it now.

Read first paragraph.
Hit "thumbs up."
Tolkien admonished against allegory. But screw him. What did he ever do?

Shouldn't it be 'double double vision vision'?

Applejack daniels? Taxes? Health care? I couldn't make it past the beginning of this fic. Don't humanize the universe, it usually makes fics unreadable.

...was that first paragraph a political statement? Because if so, then I respond thusly:

No.

It was nice. Not a fav, but you do get a like for the Luna Fucking Celestia through Twilight. Bravo on that. Amazing idea of dominance and pseudo-incest.

easfreseartsyuhijklhgyuftrrdfvcxdse/kokmldskoi32i3joi7o2ewads
Hmm? Oh sorry
Too busy wiping.......stuff.... from my keyboard :twilightblush::twilightsheepish::twilightsmile::trollestia::twilightsheepish::twilightblush::twilightsmile::scootangel::scootangel::scootangel::scootangel:

Wowza. Just, kablooey.
I must say though, I did lose my shit at "DAMNIT LUNA! YOU HAD ONE JOB!" and was mirthfully giggling then on in the whe time.

2841027I love politics in the fics. At least the beaurocracy. That one with the pony PM running hither and thither like a madoony trying to sort out Twilight's visit and ending rhe day clinging toa battered empty tea flask for dear life after finding her tower filled with jam, up to their knees in custard outside the doors, and banishing a demon in Twi's other room after she accidentally made it a portal to other realms before she left. That one was good.

In terms of this. All of the thumbs for Lagase. He is fantastic. I laughed like a maniac reading this.

For those who want to talk healthcare see this.
Just an explanation of problems and why healthcare seems to cost so much.
I just found that. Though someone might care for some educational vidjo. I was interested.

And */stage whisper* I wanted to read this again!

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah yeah awesome story :twilightsmile::twilightsmile::twilightsmile::twilightsmile::twilightsmile::twilightsmile::twilightsmile::twilightsmile::twilightsmile::twilightsmile::twilightsmile::twilightsmile:

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