• Member Since 22nd Dec, 2012
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The Man. The Legend. The World's Strongest Writer

Comments ( 50 )

Is this based on Ghosts Can't do It, by any chance?

Interesting. This story and that film have the exact same premise, so that's a remarkable coincidence!

To the interwebs!

Ghosts Can't Do It
A 1989 American romantic crime fantasy comedy film written and directed by John Derek, and starring Bo Derek and Anthony Quinn.

Scott and Kate are happily married, despite their 30-year age difference. After Scott suffers a heart attack and is unable to have sexual intercourse, he commits suicide and becomes a ghost that only Kate can see and speak with. To make it possible for Scott to return as a human, they conjure up a plan to have a young man drown, so that Scott can take his body.

This story and that film have the exact same premise, so that's a remarkable coincidence!

Um... barely. Really the only similarity is the 'possession for sex' aspect.
This fic has no suicide or murder, and I assume the the young man in the film isn't her son.

Sees there’s a new story: You have my curiositiy.

Sees what it’s about: but now you have my erection

I was referring to the posession bit, but now I feel rather silly. Sorry.

It's okay. I appreciate you giving it a read.
And I'll have to check out that movie at some point, if only to laugh at Donald Trump's acting abilities.

Thanks. Seriously, he called Meryl Streep a 'second rate actress' yet has a Razzie for worst actor!

Like it was done by a great author

To be fair to Trump, Streep is a supposed professional while he's just a guy whose lawyers were clever. Anything that shows one of his hotels has to at least film a scene with him in it. Theoretically I'm pretty sure it actually has to contain such a scene, but most of them cut it and nobody bothers to check.

Going just by this stories description, It's more like the anime Natsuyuki Rendezvous, but with incest.

True. The Razzies are notoriously flawed.

I have since recanted this opinion, given that the only elements this story and Ghosts have in common is the possession bit.

But to do so, he must first possess somepony's body.

Why am I even surprised?

Ok. Good start. We have death as well as a creepy mystery.

Oooohhhhh. Really good read. This was one of the things I was hoping to read, wishing it had come out just just an hour before I posted.

The haunting was a little chilling, including Night Light's cutie mark showing up. I think the only thing I would have added or changed was having the dildo appearing in the bed or something similar. As for the sex it was passionate, but wishing we could have seen the results of the act:ajsmug:

Since I don't want to take away the rewards of the others, sort of, I give this story a spiritual and honorary second place


but wishing we could have seen the results of the act

Originally there was going to be a whole pregnancy, and Velvet fearing that it was Shining's incestuous foal the whole time. And then she was going to give birth to a foal that looks exactly like Night Light, implying that it is him, reborn. But the contest deadline was already looming, and the whole pregnancy chapter was just a completely different shift in pacing and tone. Not to mention that the story already had enough time-lapses crammed into the first chapter. So having it end with the paternity mark reveal was more in line with the supernatural theme, implying as much as it needed to without dragging things out too much. Sometimes less is more.

Ok. Once again sorry. While this was my first time hosting this, it's no excuse as I should have set up a clear end time. If I ever do this again, I'll be sure to keep that in mind.

Aww, that was actually really sweet, and kinky of course.

I think this endings better, it’s very sweet despite the tragedy

... which one?

The one as written, or the alternate ending in the comment?

Is it weird that I was expecting Shining to wake up and say something like "Hm? Oh surprise roleplay again, Cady? And my favorite to boot."

That ending was a possibility I played with, to have Shining wake up fully at the end, and realize what had happened. Velvet would try to explain what had happened (ie. the possession). But the kicker would be that now, because of that night, Velvet becomes attracted to Shining, and she routinely asks him to stay the night to roleplay as Night Light's ghost. But as with the other alternative ending I mentioned, it was a completely different departure from the central tone and pacing of the story as written.

... maybe as a sequel.

I would like to see that as I found the very end to make no sense what so ever.

It's meant to be supernatural. Even though it was Shining's body, Velvet got pregnant by Night Light.
But I feel ya. I will keep the sequel in the idea pile.

id like to see a epilogue where she gives birth to nightlight as like a reincarnation type deal and she has sex with colt nightlight

I understand wanting the supernatural bittersweet angle, but in reference to Jojo's while Dio may have been who did the deed it was still Jonathon's body and Giorno and Dio's other children are all biologically Joestars. I also like the idea of in supernatural tales like these of there being some kind of consequence or price to pay for experiencing something that almost no other would.

Evidence collected, cum disposed, and EMF detector cleaned off - now back to the truck to get paid!

Well done shake, this was the last for me before NNN.

This was an excellent read! I really like that idea of a paternity mark appearing on the mare (in this case of course our dear Twilight Velvet). I might need to steal that sometime.
Either way, a very good, sexy read!

Ironically, out of anyone in the MLP universe... Cadance would probably be able to look at it all and say 'Yea, that's love magic, I don't blame you"


I don't see where the "kinda" comes into it.

Even if Shining Armor is unaware of what's happening, from Twilight Velvet's perspective she is fucking her son's body. That's incest, no "kinda".

As my name implies I'm VERY picky about what I fave and upvote.

This ALMOST got it. With Shining being unconcious of the whole thing, and the bit about "it's just a rental" with the analogy to the tux and the bit at the end with Night Light's Cutie-Mark...

Well, I only downvoted because of the pre-martial stuff not being regretted.

What you described with the longer version would have made it worse, so I'm glad you left it out.

Definitely going in my hidden "Mildly Flawed" folder.


Well, I only downvoted because of the pre-martial stuff not being regretted.

Why should it have been?

Totally expecting a bit spooky and weird with some clop. Did not expect all the feels that came with it. :twilightsmile:
Your use of forbidden magic long forgotten was a nice gateway. Night and Velvet's conversation between all the clop elicited so much more passion, eyes glued to every morsel. Late Night is a lovers last passionate fling that surprises till the last word.

"Are you really going to say that in this room?"

Too late! No backsies!

a vary sweet story grate righting team i love it.

Guess Shining wasn't wrong when he confused necromancy with necrophilia.

A damn shame Twilight was all but forgotten about in the end, because I REALLY need to see how she reacts to this cruel twist of irony.

Regret pre-marital? Downvote rebirth? You honestly rate literature using your religion rather than the writing skill (spelling, grammar, diction) of the author? That is an example of why user ratings are 'mildly flawed.'

This was a fascinating read, but I can definitely see the rush-ed-ness. Writing competitions are a real double-edged sword. :pinkiesad2:

He whispered, "There is no Shining, there is only Night Light."

Uh-oh. Somepony gotta call for the Ghostbusters. :pinkiehappy:



Besides, what's the worst that could happen?


Seriously, though. I know that many authors kill the spouse, but you literally did it with viagra. This almost calls for a 'Comedy' tag instead of a 'Tragedy'.

Had a lot of fun reading this. Great job! :yay:

Still, I can't help myself but bemoan the fact how the story wanders off in different directions.

If it wants to be a wholesome, relatively lighthearted, bittersweet romp then why Velvet constantly reminds us that she's not okay with sharing a bed with her son? It's realistic, but... Ya know?

If it wants to be spooky, then it gives us all the answers way to quickly. So many possibilities wasted.

... maybe as a sequel.

You have my curiocity, sir.


Twilight continued. "The next time a certain somepony teleports in here, their cutie mark will appear on the refrigerator. Okay?" Twilight's magic manipulated the ward. She walked outside and locked the door behind her. She teleported back into the kitchen. Sure enough, her cutie mark appeared on the front of the refrigerator.

I wonder what would happen if a foal without a cutie mark somehow manages into the house?
Will the refrigerator remain blank?
Will it show a black, empty space?
Will it explode?
Or will it show the foals cutie mark before the foal even gets it?

"Besides, what's the worst that could happen?"
In the room full of forbidden spell books, the candles flickered and dimmed for a moment. Shining felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand up from a cold chill running up his spine. "Are you really going to say that in this room?"

He has a point though.
I feel like at least one of the books actually chuckled...

The 'targeting' passage was a little smudged but she was able to make it out well enough.

I feel like this small, easy-to-miss detail may be very important later.

"Kiss me!" he said. "Kiss me to complete the spell!"
"Night, no! Even if it's you, you're in our son's body! I can't look at him while I kiss you!"
"Then close your eyes," he said.

Quick! Wee need it for the cover art!

"Thank you, pumpkin," he blurted.
Twilight cringed. "Yeesh. You really are turning into Dad, aren't you?" she asked, heading out the front door. "Good night!"

If you find this weird, be happy you don't know the whole story...

Velvet's smile vanished. She pushed him away and stood up. "But- but you're in our son!"
He shrugged. "Details, details."
"No! We can't do that with him!" she said.

Also, what would poor Cadance think of this?

"Look into my eyes, Velvet!" he demanded. "Look past the crude flesh of this corporeal matter and see the luminous being that is your husband!"

"Open up your eyeeeeeeeees!"

It was the crescent moon cutie mark of her late husband, Night Light.

Off, that was a close one.
I guess this counts as a good ending.

Good story!
I enjoyed reading it.

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