It's that day. The one day of the year that Celestia dreads more than anything in the world. And too bad for her, everyone seems intent on making her go through such an awful occasion. Well, at least she gets cake at the end of it.

Thanks to my editors Skeeter The Lurker, Xl9 and The Abyss for all their help!

Art from the very talented http://yubi-note.tumblr.com. Go check them out!

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 108 )

PFFFT. I laughed. Hard. Fave

Yeah those type of candles start out fun, then get annoying real fast.

Huh. At some point, you'd think they'd start doing one candle per century. Or different kinds of candles for different powers of ten.

Of course, then we wouldn't have this annual confectionary conflagration to look forward to.

Thanks to my editors Skeeter The Lurker, Xl9 and The Abyss for all their help!

broguht her guard down


Might be time to switch to writing out your age in numbers with frosting, Celestia.

Whoops, that was my mistake while making edits. Fixed! :derpytongue2:

3241678 Hmm...that could also mean she'd get a giant cake to fit the number of digits too.:rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh:

Another awesome fic Bob.

In before featured (because it's a RainbowBob fic).

I have often imagined how it would be to be immortal. Yea, fun until you remember your age is...ageless. My very first original character(created far before I found Friendship is Magic), King Lucius of Dark, is immortal and almost impervious. He could go through Armageddon and live at the end of time. Imagine yourself in his place, seems pretty scary to be alone for eternity.

This story brought me back to those imaginary times and had me so sympathetic to Celestia. Such a good fic.

Poor Celestia. Being a victim of those joke candles... I got pissed about it when I turned sixteen; can't imagine a 1000 years.

And this kinda seems like a lighter, funnier side of those fanfics where one of the princesses bitch about living for a long time--or being immortal, with Twilight. It doesn't even have her whine; she's just tired of the birthday song like... most people. It's true. They really couldn't come up with a newer version? C'mon!

♫Hippo Birdy to you
Hippo Birdy to you
Hippo Birdy, Hippo Birdy,
Hippo Birdy to you.

3241929 How do ponies female dog about something?

At this point, you would think Celestia would have invented the log scale and e.

Assuming she's about 1100 years old:

log10(1100) = 3.04
=> Three long candles and a baby candle.
ln(1100) = 7.003
=> Seven long candles and a baby baby candle.

The astronomers and astrologers using them would be a coincidence. Yes, just a coincidence.

They say a picture is worth a thousand words. As it turns out, this one is worth one thousand, four hundred and fifty six.

It'd probably be best if she didn't get cake. The sheer amount of candles they would need to mark out each of her years would out shine the sun, melt the Crystal Kingdom's icy location flooding Equestria, or set fire to the land of which the likes have never been seen before. But I guess that's why they invented numerical candles. You know you're old when you need a flamethrower just to light all the candles.


It's also listed as 'Complete'.

STill think you should have expanded the candle scene.

~Skeeter The Lurker

BAHAHAHAHA THIS IS EVIL AND I LOVE IT!!! :rainbowlaugh::moustache:

There are candles in the form of numbers...

Does... does Pinkie really not know those exist? And what sick bastard invented joke candles?

And I bet Pinkie Pie is the first pony in a thousand years to know exactly the right number of candles to put on the cake.

:pinkiehappy: Lucky guess?

This is probably the oddest immortality fic I've read.

It was listed under 'C'!

Update your other stories :raritydespair::raritydespair::raritydespair::raritydespair::raritydespair::raritydespair:


3242579there can never be too many pinkys the world needs more pinkys:pinkiegasp::pinkiehappy:

3243064 LUNA likes to play Portal should have invited gladyis to the party

but... i wanted some cake. I HATE YOU GLaDOS! :applecry::fluttercry::raritycry:

3241595 I suspect that that WAS one candle per century.

3243162 after 1000 years instead of happy happy birthday they should have sun Im still alive im still alive

eh, she's immortal :duck: she can't die

She should have used her magic to blow, better yet, teleport the candles away. :rainbowwild:

That was pretty damn amusing. Had me smirking hard from A to Z and was peppered with moments that made me openly guffaw, like the image of Applejack taking her Southern quirks so seriously that she can't even remove her hat to put a new one on.

But where the heck was Spike? I'm guessing this takes place in the same universe as "My Little Racist: Friendship is Bigoted".

This reminds me of what me, my brother and sister did for our mother. A Chocolate Moose cake with 1 candle for every year of her life. We waited till the eve of her birthday and then lit all the candles planning to surprise our sleeping mother. 2 seconds later we were running up to the door, started bashing on it,and were begging our mother to open the door and blow out the inferno that was her cake. It surprised her in more ways than was intended.

We settled for numbered candles afterwards.

3243206 apply cold water to the burned area celestia

Again, Bob? MUST you make me love your creations? It seems that your only goal in life is to write stories that have jokes and ideas that I can't help but be magnetized to. Fuck it, I'm just going to be a satellite for you now!


Yeah, in all honesty, you just don't stop, and I love it! :pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy:

3243914 THANKS MOST FUN GAME EVER:pinkiegasp:

The sad fact of birthdays: You're a year closer to death.
Happy birthday. :eeyup:

*ahem* To be honest, the chapter's name is what really pulled me in. :pinkiesad2:... I'm still gonna read it though! xD

Not if you're Celestia.

3244453 I mean in real life. :facehoof:

I find it interesting that this was posted on my birthday. Should I be expecting a wax covered cake in the near future?

Cover image kinda spoiled it, but still not bad nonetheless.

Could have been worse.
Discord could have remplaced some candles with dynamite for example.
Hey wait ! Where are the gifts ?!

Portal references:
"The cake is a lie"
Fat protagonist
At least I still get

Also, if it's marked complete, why does the only chapter title include "chapter 1" in it? And vice a versa.
This is hilarious!

is that a Space Core reference?
Likewise I could imagine Celestia telling the cake "well here we are again. Its always such a pleasure... Now I only want you gone"

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