• Member Since 21st Jul, 2012
  • offline last seen 8 hours ago

Senyu


Sequels1

  • TDragonFeather
    With Twilight and Ruby Sparkle settling into their new positions as rulers, they must oversee the transition of the bat ponies to their new home. But the next Shepherd will soon appear, threatening not only Equestria, but the other kingdoms as well.
    Senyu · 43k words  ·  165  4 · 2k views
T
Source

The Dark King Sombra came from an old age, a time where darkness and evil were prevalent across the land. The Princesse's power and influence were weaker in those days, for the land of Equestria was divided amongst many kingdoms of lesser Princesses and Princes. But out of all their ruling neighbors, The Four Shepherds held the most power of all, even threatening Celestia and Luna's kingdom. However, all of that changed when they vanished for a thousand years, ushering in a new era of peace and prosperity. Until that is, when the Crystal Kingdom reappeared, along with one of the Shepherds. King Sombra, however, was thankfully vanquished swiftly, but the following peace of his defeat would not last as long as anypony might think. A new force sets its eyes on the recently coronated Princess Twilight Sparkle, one that seeks to restore a lost heritage and remind the land of who is the true owner of the night. For when one evil is smitten, another appears in its place. And King Sombra was only the first in line.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Set before Season 4

Note: Dark tag is meant for Light Dark

Special thanks to my editor Ladrian for his diligent and superb work. I wish I had him when I first started this story because maybe then the early chapters would have been much better.

Special thanks to Stanku for revisions and prereading this story. It would be at a much worse state had it not been for his detailed opinions to each and every chapter, and letting me know where I can improve.

10/2/2014 : Woah... it's on the featured list... *cue squealing and fist pumping* THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH!

Chapters (55)
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Comments ( 1354 )

Good sir could you please write more of this amazing story?

Yay, another vampony Twilight Fic, how I love these. I just hope that Twilight is actually going to be badass here and that she won't immediately go tell her friends when she finds out. I shall give thee an upvote and I'll add this one to my faves to keep track of updates.

Two questions though: Firstly, how dark is this story going to be? It is rated "Teen" therefore I assume not really dark, aye? Secondly, can you make an assumption of how frequently you'll update this one? I'm just being curious here.

Like with all good things, there is a downside. In this case, I moblized my Grammar Luftwaffe to strategically bomb the living shit out of some things I noticed.

"It's Miss's Cake birthday tomorrow!"

Miss Cake's birthday.

After a few more minutes passed and nothing could be heard on the inside, it move to get a better look inside of the house.

It moved.

Mustn't take too much. I don't want you to die from the lack of blood. After all, it will take time until your mine,

You're mine. "Your" is a possessive adjective, it indicates possession over something, whereas "you're" is a contraction of "you are".

"Of course you're not going to answer, your an owl... "

Whose owl? Same as above.

3189848 Thanks for pointing out those grammatical errors.

I am not sure how dark it will go, a lot of the story is still up in the air but I have multiple road goals I want to reach regarding the plot. It's just a matter of how I'm getting there and in what tone of setting.

And as for release, with this I will be working on three stories at once. A little hectic yes but I find it refreshing to finish a chapter for one then bouncing onto the next. Helps me not be bored and thus not kick out chapters just because. But I am not sure how my schedule will be for the next 6 months due to upcoming events. It either will be prime writing time or hardly any, hoping on the former.

You have received my stamp of approval, continue on! :pinkiehappy:

"It's Miss's Cake birthday tomorrow!"

*Missus

Miss is used to refer to an unmarried woman(mare)
Missus is used for a married woman(mare)


YAY!:yay: vamponies!!

3190272
I keep following vampony stories hoping someone will actually finish one. Crossing my fingers that you have time to write it.

its weird how almost every vampire fic has twilight being turned into one
anyway good start looks promising faved

A black pony with red eyes, huh?

...

color scheme doesn't matter, character does... color scheme doesn't matter, character does... color scheme doesn't matter, character does...

3199567 I know its cliche but I'll try to not disappoint with the characters

Loving it so far! Can't wait for more :pinkiehappy:

Aye, that was faster than I had expected. Me gusta! It was mostly world building but it wasn't boring, which is good. Also, I took me the liberty to point out some errors. The Grammar Luftwaffe never rests!

"Mails here!" Spike shouted while closing the library door.

Mail's here!

"I know know, I over worry things. I can't help it, I just... feel like something's off about the whole thing."

Two time the same word.

And Owlowiscious acts like he thinks hes going to have another chance again."

He's

Only a few seconds behind, Twilight walked into the room just as Spike was opening the door wide to let in their guest.

Comma was missing.

There was four moving carriages packed in full on the street in front of the property and over a dozen movers working quickly to bring everything in.

There were four moving carriages. Plural.

“Hmm, I bet that its a statue. Look how heavy it is, that pony’s having a hard time just trying to get it off the carriage.”

“Nope, its a globe.”

I bet that it's a statue. Nope, it's a globe. The apostrophes.

The edges trimmed in gold with fancy decorations.

There's a point missing in your story. I added it here.

Twilight's attention move from the ponies and to the house they were bringing everything in.

Her attention moved.

They movers had a good twenty feet of yard space to bring everything across.

The movers?

Turning to the pink mare that had brought them here Twilight asked, "So, where is our new neighbor?"

The article was missing. It is possible to not use an article here, but you'd need to capitalize "Pink Mare" in that case since it stands for Pinkie Pie, which makes it a name.

"Well just have to welcome him tomorrow, I guess," Twilight said not particularly bothered as much as Pinkie Pie.

Comma.

His long silver mane hung eloquently about him, with long strands that fell down the side of his head in a way that would that would cause even the highest of fashion focused ponies to pause at the sight him.

Aww, hairs can't be eloquent. A person with a big vocabulary is eloquent. I guess you mean elegant? Also, you doubled the two words.

3200103 Thanks much for the edits. I have a problem skipping words or thinking of a word in the next sentence and my fingers type it out :ajsleepy:

Loving the story so far.
3199567
I have seen your username before. And in my mind, it's closely associated with The Demoman saying Kabooooooom!!!... Is it coincidence there's a brony youtuber I follow of the same name?

3200103 wow a grammar nazi made a mistake it would make more sense if you said you said the same word twice or you said it two times not two time same word. F.Y.I :pinkiehappy:

3204506
Scheiße! He isn't worthy of being part of the Grammar SS! Lynch him!

Yea, I don't point these thing out to make the author look stupid and stuff, that'd be a dickmove. I just mark these things while I read.

3204543 ok that's good to know
also you didn't space dick and move XD.

My grammar shotgun strikes again!

wasn't trying to be mean its just sometime grammar nazis are annoying and you don't really get a chance like that every day

A good story so far and i want moar!

Oh hey I'm first on chapter 2. That means this story is not popular enough (or perhaps it's just that I have the story set to give me email notifications of updates) .
I'm looking forward to the next chapter.

I'm still having a hard time telling if Nathan's intentions are entirely malevolent....

3259299 i think that's the point. A good villain is never two dimensional unless he's a comic book villain and even then there's some depth.

Please don't let Nathan be a complete jack ass, and please let Twi at least be more perceptive than a third rate mall cop. at least let her be cautious enough to send a letter to the princesses about the strange occurrence of a bat in her room with Owloicious attacking it. I'm sick and Tired of story's protraying the villains as lucky and able to say all the right things at all of the right times, while the heroes make more mistakes than Ditzy Doo on a bad day.

I hope you have them all make the best decisions they can in the situations they have.


Other than those worry's Good story over all.

I like it. Let's see where this goes. Continue good sir:moustache:

"Your from Fillydelphia?" Twilight asked, her mind already clicking together who the unfamiliar stallion might be.

:rainbowhuh:

*You're

3259517 I doubt that she would semd a letter about a bat in her room. Owloicous is a carnivore so it's quite easy to pads it off as him hunting and a bat entering her room doesn't seem that strange either

I so hope that Twilight will be evil here... I reckon that switching personalities at will has its merits, damn Nathan is weird. Great chapter by the way, that, and the spelling was much better. :rainbowwild:

Twilight perked up as he examined the rows of books. Now this is something I can work with she thought.

Twilight being Twilight:
denver.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw646_28239%20-%20book%20caption%20hugs%20twilight_sparkle.png

"My name is Nathaniel Moon, and I am a therapist. I have spent a number of years of getting into ponies minds and treating symptoms and disorders as well as being there to lend an ear.[...] I am qualified for colts, fillies, stallions, mares, and I prefer Pearl Grey Tea."

M'kay, he's a The Rapist? Sick person, you. And he spent YEARS of getting into ponies minds and treating "symptoms" and he's qualified for foals? That's sick, man. :pinkiecrazy:

3260356 yes be waking up extremely tired afterwards would be note worthy. since the bat and Owloicious are the only strange parts to the night.:twilightsmile:

When there is a second, Princess of the Night.

gifsoup.com/webroot/animatedgifs3/1604815_o.gif

HE SAID IT!!!!

"returning her back to Princess Luna" Might wanna try the word "Reverting" there instead, it'd sound a bit better... Also Nathan said FIRST line of defense, Spike and Twi switched that to Last.... Might wanna fix that a bit.

You're really rapidfiring the chapters now, ain'tcha? Holy, that was unexpected. Now I want to see what changes The Rapist made. Keep up the good work (and pace, if possible). :scootangel:

3270319 Heh, I don't know if I'll be releasing them as quick as this one. Writing mood comes and go when I finally get a moment to myself in hectic life.

:facehoof: You took advantage of Twilight Denial, I thought she got over that with Zecora and Pinkie Pie. also She should be skeptical of the hypnosis, not for it's effectiveness but for it's possible abuse.:trixieshiftleft:

3270420 If all she has seen from a pony is nothing but kindness, why would she suspect something from them? She also can't go the Celestia for every little problem or ache. She's a princess ontop of being a grown mare. She doesn't write a letter about a little bit of dizziness she had earlier. Yes I agree Twilight doesn't utilize help as much as she should but nothing of what she has seen so far warrants Celestia's time and involvement.

And regarding the denial, I would say the other characters suffer it more than Twilight. With her being right on so many occasion.

3270455 wall atleast now we get to see what happens when the lavender time bomb becomes a thrall to a vampony.:facehoof:

Nathaniel Moon is not an equestrian name. It stands out really, really badly. It's immersion breaking.

Wait... how can Spike doubt Hypnosis is real when he more or less saw that Shining Armor was hypnotized by Chrysalis?

3281299 Difference between mind control magic from a changeling and hypnosis a normal pony might do. One is a powerful force that overcomes your mind with magic, and the other is guidance by words that often is imagined as, "You are getting sleeeeeepy"

This comes to close to the methods of some mind-break/corruption doujins. Just need Twilight to have a boyfriend and then we can throw NTR into the mix.

BRIAN BLESSED WISHES TO HAVE MOAAARR HORSE :flutterrage::flutterrage: that is erm..... if you dont mind :fluttershysad::heart:

Any idea when the next chapter will be done?

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