• Member Since 5th Mar, 2012
  • offline last seen 14 hours ago

CrypticMetaphor


*SPOILERS* ;)

T

Featured on 13/09/2013 THANK YOU ALL!!!

"You either die a Hero or you live long enough to see yourself become the Villain."

Jasper William Montgomery, he just turned twenty and is absolutely bored with life. He's not suicidal, depressed, or a drug user with a penchant for drinking, he's just bored. Everything one can do in life, parties, going clubbing, video games, even computers don't really appeal to him. One thing that keeps him sane is watching shows from his youth and the occasional entertaining film. Due to a friends attempt to make him feel better he ends up watching all three seasons of My Little Pony and pretty much laughs at the fictional world. Being labeled a cynic and pretty much given up on by his friends, Jasper is alone. Until he's teleported away to Equestria by an observing Celestia.

TVTropes- http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/FanFic/Villainous

(Cover image courtesy of UsagiFriday, thank you!)

Chapters (24)
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!
Comments ( 1883 )

sombra use jasper for your revenge!
that would be nice to see. and this is a kinda story where i dont want to see friendship win.

3201391
Hehe, FOR ALL MY READERS SEEING THIS, BE PREPARED FOR A VILLAIN WHO KNOWS WHAT HE'S DOING

dammit its starting to get to him!
i so wanna see this back fire on celestia, and twilight.
friendship cant solve everything!

GOOD! A villain who actually knows how to be a villain XD

dont let him fall into the friendship! i wanna see it fail please... if thats ok wth you/ :fluttershysad:

Going along slowly, but surely. Good so far. Don't know what to say more than that. I'll be keeping an eye on this. Let's see how it turns out!:rainbowdetermined2:

I read this chapter as soon as I upload my comment for ch. 2.

I reeeeally hope this doesn't somehow end up with just Jasper and the M6 fighting against Sombra like they did in Season 3. You said the villain would know what he's doing....*gasp* unless Sombra isn't the ultimate villain?!:pinkiegasp:

Other than that, I just feel like Jasper's fitting in way too well here. He's been nabbed from his world, he's a huge cynic, yet he befriends some ponies on his first day with minimum snark and complaints? Nevertheless, I will continue with this story. And for the love of the lord, please make longer chapters!:raritydespair:

FUCK FRIENDSHIP!!! VILLAINS RULE!!!:rainbowdetermined2:

3201907
There is a reason he's fitting in well and not being snarky.

I'm a little iffy about this, but I'll watch it. I feel like you could use a little work on your pacing and transitions between scenes. The way it is now seems a bit rushed, and the cuts from place to place or time to time are too quick and feel a bit awkward.

I shall be watching.

Spacecowboy
Story Approver

Oh boy, TWO stories in the box going 'Oh my gosh, featured, thank you!'
Sarcasm aside, the writing is okay. Need a bit of work on your abrupt transitions, you need to make them smoother than they currently are. I'll have to read it once I'm fully awake and aware to find other things to point out. Not a bad start.
And huh, your coverart for Martin: Dark Inferno. I find that funny. Just used the same image for a story of mine.

Grats on getting featured.

3202063
Thanks, truth be told everypony i'm still developing my craft. SO PLEASE bear with me.

Spacecowboy
Story Approver

3202067
It's always a work-in-progress. The day it stops being so, it's time to stop and re-examine yourself. Still, good luck improving, and I'll give a bit more detailed breakdown of where you can stand to improve. I'll also point out some good things too, hehe.

3201391
I know right? I was thinking the same thing...

why am I suddenly reminded of iron man with the way he's working on that glove?

3202093 You're actually not the only one that got that. I suppose it's called 'reminiscing.'

Jasper narrowed his eyes, “Twilight, there’s a purple gecko yelling at me.”

Immediate reaction: demotivationalposters.org/image/demotivational-poster/0904/hey-oh-demotivational-poster-1240011956.jpg

Okay, you have my attention. A fic where a cynic, rather then a happy go luck guy comes to Equestria, and has a geniue reaction of talking ponies, rather then "Ooh your real. Okay, moving on".

Comment posted by Tulip deleted Sep 14th, 2013

Typo in the description. Miss stuff all you'd like in the story but the description should always be perfect in my humble opinion. :ajsmug:

Everything one can do in life, parties, going clubbing, video games, even computers doesn't really appeal to him.

Even computers don't*

3202233

Thaaat's not uncommon. Just throwing that out there.

if sombra like persuades him or something like that, i call bullshit.

I cant help but see this is all CLICHE... Where is his cynical and depressing attitude? Unless you have some plans for Jasper, I am uninterested at the moment, But nevertheless I will follow, and see how this goes.

3202424
MIster cynical is still there, he's just,..taking a slight break until...showtime. All of you think on this statement and you'll get the idea:raritywink:

3202403
Remember, Jasper is a villain who is not only good at being a villain, but is also genre savvy. If Sombra "persuades" him to do anything, it will only be until Jasper's in an ideal situation to betray him and then probably steal his power or something.

Unless the resulting energy field would be bigger than his head. Seriously, read the list, folks.

3202439
Plus it's called, biding his time, putting on an act

So far so good, and if I was in his situation, I'd trick to ponies into getting me the required materials to make a fusion bomb, lets see them Magic of Friendship their way out of a ten megaton blast.

I feel like this will end up abandoned or end stupidly. But screw it, I'm on board.

3202502
This will not be abandoned, the ending i cannot say, YOU MUST ALL WAIT!!:flutterrage:

Comment posted by TheGrimReaper deleted Sep 14th, 2013

3202507 A Circuit City? Really? Aren't they like not around anymore? Didn't they go bankrupt?
Why not employ him at a Best Buy? Or a Target?

Finally a story where the protagonist is a villian that knows what hes doing, THANK YOU :pinkiehappy:

And the moment Sombra's survival was mentioned, I could already tell where this was going. I'll admit I was slightly intrigued in the beginning but mentioning one of the villains so early gave away what was going to happen. Sombra will return with a bit more thought put into his actions, Jasper will play a critical role in his defeat, and then end with Jasper learning the true meaning of Friendship. When you get a good hand in poker, never show what you got early otherwise everyone folds out and you end up with little winnings.

A Dangerously Genre Savvy villain? YESYESYESYESYESYES!!! THANK YOU!!!

I just had an idea, what if another human arrived in Equestria and the princesses asked the mane 6 to simultaneously teach them the Magic of Friendship, and they do learn it, but in a way that ends with Equestria in flames and the two of them as joint malevolent dictators over the planet.

The dating in the description is wrong. We don't have 13 months...

But refined and altered like you’re doing gold can be deadly. When used as a weapon it can cut through magical barriers like a hot knife through butter.

Gold actually makes for a pretty god awful weapon for doing physical damage though.
It's too malleable, you'll get a few good cuts out of it before you need to reforge it.

3202546 Duuuuuuuudeeeeeee... You have NOO idea what might happen. I have seen bigger reveals in the beggining of a fanfic, but the plottwists! Oh lordy the plottwists! Never count a story out by them doing this. I call a pretty massive plottwist in this story, and I will PINKIE PROMISE to you, that it will blow your mind. So shut up, and enjoy the fic.

3202663 Europe has the day shown first, then month and then the year.

I like where this is heading.

3202679 If you coat a steel blades with gold, then it might fuck your day up.

Btw, I am borrowing this head-canon.

Now this i havent seen before.

Continue my good sir!!:twilightsmile:

You know I would have to think that perhaps Tony may be the villain.:trollestia:
The reasoning behind this is that if our illustrious author here is trying to keep it a secret for now, Having Jasper be the enemy is too obvious while in the description the quote "You either die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become the villain." adds onto what may be to come, Jasper already has a passive aggressive stance on things while his friend Tony seemed like a good person trying to help his friend out.


Just saying.:pinkiecrazy:

Jasper´s gonna bitch-slap the FUCK outta sombra :yay:

"Jasper then spoke four friends which cut Tony deep, “I don’t need friends!" "
OK two things: I think you meant "four words" and... Someone needs a lesson in friendship... Good thing Equestria is real and Celestia was doing what she does best: getting involved in other people's business.

Jasper's gonna find a way to beat Sombra. Than when the ponies rush to his side to celebrate the victory he pimp smacks Twilight away while smirking evilly as this plays.

Login or register to comment
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!