• Member Since 10th Jul, 2012
  • offline last seen Oct 28th, 2023

Speedy Quill


It's a dangerous business, putting words to paper. You write a sentence and, if you don't keep your hoof, there's no telling where you might be swept off to...

E

Scootaloo reveals to her friends that she has a family. But she doubts they'll like who her sister is.

Chapters (9)
Comments ( 199 )

... Okay... Sure. Why not? Never heard this one before. You have my attention.

Nice concept. Will keep an eye on this.

I want to love this story, but I can't.. but enjoy an upvote!
It was a bit quick in the execution and the ending, but it's an awesome idea that I think should be looked into, since Scootaloo doesn't get enough attention from anything non-Rainbow. :twilightsheepish:
I wanna see it expand and grow, like the rage within Scootaloo's heart from the years of constant pestering and complaints, and smash into the popular list much like hooves on a skull. This idea is possible. We have the technology!:coolphoto:

Please expand it, or I shall be forced to take it up instead!:flutterrage:
Good job warming my Scootasoul! :scootangel:

2663763 thanks for the comment. It's supposed to be a quick start which will make more sense as the story continues.

Interesting but why do you say you're half the time then say ur the other half? :/

Other the that this seems like a nice story idea :D

Interesting idea. However, it could use some serious expansion and continuation.

It's a good concept, but the plot moves like a race car.

2663879 The ur is meant to show Applebloom is talking.

Some technical and style issues (a lot of showing where telling would be better) and way too fast a pace. I know it's an intro and you don't want to linger, but this feels very rushed and force-fed. It could have been twice as long and still have been a quick infodump.

Have said that, I await the continuation of this story. This concept is just too awesome to overlook.

2663917
Buh y applebloom grahmatackly incorrect?

I'm not sure if this will gel with me but i'll fave it so I can tack it better.

As others have said, interesting idea, but a bit rushed.

Leads to a couple of issues. First, never quite clear what Scootaloo is worried about. Does she care about breaking the statue at all? If not, then why does what DT seem to get to her? If so, then why would she want to bring her friends home right at that moment when she is going to get yelled at? Second, Scootaloo is supposedly late due to breaking the statue, yet she barely even slowed down for it. A bit more time with the statue might have helped in that regard. Say if Scootaloo tried to glue it together first, before DT caught her. That would also provide a bit more time to provide some info on why Scootaloo might feel bad. Maybe she broke something last week and she'd promised to be more careful? That would add a bit more weight to what DT says.

Two issues:

"It's okay Scoot.

When addressing someone, the addressee gets separated from the rest of the sentence by commas. So in this case, you need a comma after "okay". Think there's at least five cases of this.

Applebloom

Apple Bloom is two words, both for Hasbro and DHX. Quick search and replace should fix that.

2663917 In that case, 'yer' might work better. I'd avoid using 'ur' because it feels too much like an Internet shorthand. Just a thought. :twilightsmile:

THIS STORY WAS MEANT FOR THIS FANDOM!!!
Glad to have you back Speedy!

MUST, HAF,

MOAR

~Hotwingsrule

Thanks for all of your comments so far. I've done a revision of the first chapter. :pinkiesmile:

First of all, VERY interesting plot, definitely earned you a fave, I would love to see a little bonding of DT and Scoots later in the storyline, if this is meant to be a long-term project anyway, please, more :scootangel:

sister fight scootaloo vs diamond tiara

So far only one joy sucking monster in the house.

This can only get worse five fillys in one mansion *puts on spartan suit* ok I'm ready

This reminds me of an anime called Pretear: I won't spoil much but it's about a girl whose father remarried a rich woman and what's surprising about that is that the step-sisters are like Diamond Tiara and she's like Scootaloo. For the rest, watch the anime yourself!

This..........I like this..........:heart:

Well, this looks good. Filthy is a gentle, caring father to his adopted daughter and very reasonable. I like that.

This... this is good... fav and like so mi can follow this... amazing!!!! And original!

Lol, nice chapter

Scoot didn't punch anyone it was obviously a changeling that looked like scoot

*whistles innocently*

Alright this is proving to be really interesting so far.

damn right way to go Scootaloo. now only if Silverspoon got what she deserves

About time Diamond Tiara got some comeuppance and learned limits. Some ponies have hot buttons you don't push.

I so so soooooooooo wish the chapters were longer~!

short, to the point, AMAZING chapters?! god I love this story! :scootangel:

It is very rare that I come across a fan concept, that I would actually want to see in the show. Well done.

Dat punch.
POW! Right in tha kisser! POW! Right in the kisser!:flutterrage:

I'm glad to see this take off like it did, good job sir!:scootangel::scootangel::scootangel:

Thoughts on this chapter: well written... good plot... nice pace punch... has a hint of action... yep gonna mention this in one of my co-op games!!!

...I, for whatever reason, am finding it rather intriguing that you're portraying Filthy Rich as an fair and impartial father to both Diamond Tiara and Scootaloo.

Diamond Tiara deserved that punch.

Scoot narrowed her eyes. "Do you want a matching hoofprint?"

I cracked up at dat! Awesome line! Also while I'm at it.
2671327
I'm kinda there wit' ya pal. It's regularly assumed that good ol' Filthy spoils his girl. But den again, we also HAVE seen him force her inna bunny suit and dance with other children. WAIT WAIT WAIT , dat came out wrong!

But really, it ain't all dat far fetched. Ya can spoil a kid rot'en even if you do punish 'dem. Or maybe dey're all older den we thought and DT's jus' rebelling? Also consider that she could be maturing before her time, I went tru' dat.

Den again, I'm jus' Foolin'

But in all seriousness,
The chapters are kinda short. it's not bad but they could be a little longer. Might be my personal tastes.
It's an interesting concept. Scootaloo has been put with Wonderbolt Parents and I think even Celestia. But with Filthy Rich with Diamond Tiara as a sister? That's new and this most definitely has potential. Will they learn to like each other? or will they end up in one of those big balls of violence every week?
I also wonder how fair Filthy will stay? I think he'll be fair to both for the story but I'm also unfamiliar with an adopted daughter/son also being on one's mind.
Finally, I just like it. The writing's good. I've got only an inkling about pacing and whatnot so I go based on feeling. Feels good!

Write on, good sir!

Didn't see this coming. Continue

:rainbowkiss: Me likes this chapter.

*Looks at the title of the chapter*

In the NC's words: "I'll take them being grrrrounded as long as there is no rhreuuuumathism!"

This is awesome, And I just know that this is going to become a amazing series. Can't wait for more.

"excuse me mr.rich but i have a message for you from a mrs.granny smith apple"

*ahem* "your taken things a mit to far there filthy! i seem to remember your father, celestia rest his soul, never took your punishment to interferen with your school life, i understand the girls got into a scuffle, daimon said something she shouldn't of, scootaloo did somethign she shouldn't of, you want to punish them in the sanctity of yer home thats yer buisness but yer gonna make my granddaughter and her friend suffer fer it ain't exceptable, you still ain't to good for me to tan yer hide the same way yer father did when you where little.":flutterrage::twilightangry2:

Well, this looks like it's going to get interesting. Let's see what happens.

2675873

Filthy Rich's punishment doesn't seem bad to me, but it might be in comparison, given that I'm writing this thing...

I like this idea so much and can't wait to read more. I'm honestly surprised I haven't seen more of this as its just such an interesting scenario and leads to so many comedic situations.

Boy...Filthy is taking things seriously...I like it!

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