Equestria Online is everywhere, and the writing is on the wall for the unuploaded human race. But there is hope. All they have to do is insert an uploadee into Equestria long enough to establish a connection through all of CelestAI's layers of protection, and pierce her heart with their ultimate weapon.

The best humanity has to offer can surely hold out for just a few hours, right?

An Optimalverse story

It's been a couple of weeks and way more than a couple of games since Pinkie Pie introduced the Mane Six to the joys of playing the classic real-time strategy title, Age of Empires II. Unanswered questions surround this mysterious game: where did it come from? Who made it? Why is there so much killing?

Never mind all that - Twilight Sparkle and her friends have a game to play!

NOTE: Though I've tried to make the story more about the relationships between the four gamers (no Rarity or Fluttershy, sorry!) than about the game itself, some rudimentary knowledge about Age of Empires II is required if you want to understand what is going on. I wrote this as a short-ish story so I'm not really going to go into technical details much.

=====INFO AFTER BREAK=====
References consulted while writing story:
ZeroEmpires (Commentary on Competitive AoE II matches)
wikiHow (5 Ways to Make Your Economy Boom in Age of Empires II)
Wikipedia (for info on Byzantines, Moon & Vikings)
Luttwak, E. "The Grand Strategy of the Byzantine Empire" (Harvard University Press, USA), 2009 (Byzantine military strategy)

Youtube links:
Prologue - PakAttack95 (Youtube Channel)
Main Menu and Victory Music - mikec1000 Civilization Themes

Cover Image:
Wikipedia
Age of Empires II
Cutie Mark Vectors by Hawk9mm (deviantART page)

Alright, this sounds utterly stupid, I know, but... I've made a deal with Discord. WAIT! DON'T LEAVE YET! I... I didn't want to... much. Alright, I was just too scared to tell him "no". He wants to play a game... help?

...

The rules?

Oh, from now on, every time I fall asleep in the human world, I get transported to Equestria, into a new body. I can stay as long as I don't give up, even until I die apparently! If I do, I get sent back to our world. Discord, being so bored in his statue, will influence my fate while I'm in Equestria. The game will only last ten rounds, at most.

...I'm doomed.

The star system Omega Centauri was just another oddity on a map to scientists in the not too distant future. However when they found the star was orbiting an earth-sized, earth-like planet instead of a black hole as its motion had suggested, a mission was scrambled to investigate this most unusual of celestial behaviors.

Hamstrung by politics, and nearly crippled before it began, the 'Lone Ranger' mission was reduced to just one crew member and left to his own devices.

These are the logs of Arrow 18 and its lone commander. This information is classified TOP SECRET by the Global Space Agency.

Do NOT tell the princess.

When a wealthy, well connected man's son is forcibly converted, he seeks someone to exact vengeance. The PER targeted the wrong person.

The audio transcript of the P.E.R. attack on Worldcorp Distribution Office 83745, Northamerizone, where victim Arnie Neuvo is heard describing the terrorist ponification attack by the rogue group "Ponification for the Earth’s Rebirth".

This is a comedy piece taking a lighter look at the Conversion Bureau Universe, and the PER.

♥ As Featured On Equestria Daily!

Conversion Bureau one-shot. As the Barrier continues to grow, the HLF spreads thin trying to harden positions deeper inland in the United States. Paul, a fighter with the HLF, is left behind—and alone—to guard the last checkpoint along a major route of egress from Earth.

After most humans go through conversion, a convert I bullied in High school pays me a visit.

You find a tape recorder in an abandoned hut.
You wonder what could be on it.
What will you find? Could there be other humans around?
Better listen to it and find out.

I'd heard about the TV show My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic from my college roommate who is way too into the show. Disturbingly so, actually, but good gravy I would never watch the darned thing! What am I, five? I've got better things to do with my time than watch a silly little girl's show. However, that didn't stop... something from transporting me into the world of the show, so here I am... in Equestria... trying to get home. This is gonna be interesting.

Special thanks to GuyFace, Jack Kellar, Storm Shaker, Spiffy McSquee, and Goober Trooper for helping me with this one!