Don't write on two hours of sleep, trust me.

A story with an Anon and the methods he takes to dissuade the Princesses from asking him so many questions about his home and culture. Lacking the basic courtesy of a pony and definitely disregarding their pride in magic, this human drops to lows that are usually seen only in the most disgusting of humans.

Enjoy or not, I had fun writing this and it's more for my sanity than anything.
PS- No actual sex is in this story so calm yourselves.

Professional Reviews

"drunk/10 not bad" –NuclearWaffles21

"I'm seriously rock hard right now." –Rebel

"yeah the 3 children in my basement won't shut the fuck up" –Winter the Gimp

"This is both extremely stupid, and written in such a way that I expect your non-trolly-stories to not be extremely stupid." –bobbananaville

"I don't remember how I found this story, but it was weird, and I liked it." –Narlepoax III

”I like story! Is very good! Now you go to Gulag!” –Joseph Stalin

The Cutie Mark Crusaders are working on getting their black magical cutie marks, but they suddenly find themselves flung into a disturbing underworld. Separated from her friends and so terrified that she can hardly stand, Applebloom comes across the dark queen of the parasites that crawl in the night. The Queen demands "love", and she's determined to get it one way or another. She subjects Applebloom to certain tests as she flirts, with the feisty filly standing up for herself. Can she save her friends?

Please note that there's no gore or extreme violence, but there's somewhat dark content. The excellent "Sweetie's Mansion" by Moon Shooter has been a large inspiration as well as the wonderful "Silent Ponyville" by JakeHeritagu. Thanks very much for reading.

Dale was your average bloke from Northern Ireland. Except that he hated the colour green. Everything pretty much unravelled from there.

Now he's in Equestria with a giant chip on his shoulder, and Equestria shall rue the day they ever heard the name Dale Burke.

(Shameless, aren't I?)

As Twilight sets up for tonight's sleepover, Pinkie brought over exactly twenty-eight cookies for everypony at the sleepover. Pinkie claimed that the seven of them (including Spike) should have thirteen cookies each as an even amount. Pinkie’s logic doesn’t make any sense to Twilight and wants Pinkie to prove it to her if seven times thirteen really does equal to twenty-eight.

Inspired by Abbott and Costello’s 7 x 13 = 28 routine!

Pinkie Pie Grin vector by: KIOWA213

Edit: I know that 7x13 does not equal to 28! This is all in good fun comedy and it doesn't have to be taken so seriously. If you are sensitive with mathematics, then don't read it!

Update 11/16 - 11/20/14: In the popular list! Thanks guys!

Update 6/6/15: Now with a reading by: Astro-Brony

Sometimes Twilight Sparkle says the wrong thing at the wrong time. When she loves a surprisingly thin-skinned pegasus, this can only lead to disaster.

Proofreading by RaylanKrios.
Cover art by godoffury.
Now with audio reading by CosmicAfro.

Principal Celestia is sick of punishing Screwball and not seeing any improvement in her chaotic behavior. So she tries a different approach by enrolling her in the school's "Big Sister" program, hoping it will teach her some general morals. (No spoilers of who she's paired up with here.)

My first attempt at an Equestria Girls fic. Rated Teen for swearing and some sexual humor.

NOT CANON WITH MY OTHER SCREWBALL STORY!
I don't own the cover art!

Luna gets drunk and finds out about burritos.....eyep.

Picture by: ROJEK-KOR

When all encompassing dark surrounds the soul threatening to devour it whole, leaving the shattered within to feel completely betrayed and isolated...
... at that moment, no matter where, when, or how; there is someone willing to be there for you...

...even if they don't even realize it.

(Yes, that is Vincent Van Gogh)

Previously owned by Paton Pendeng.

Rarity gets turned into a dragon (baby dragon). Now she only trusts Spike and hides from anyone else.
Idea from beirirangu, requested by my awesome followers! :D

This story will have two endings.

Lyra Heartstrings, as everypony knows, has a quirky obsession with humans. In fact, she'd give anything to see one up close and personal. So when she hears about a portal in the Crystal Empire leading to an alternate universe full of humans, she absolutely must go there and see it for herself!

Luckily for her, a certain Master of Chaos is willing to pull a few strings and grant her access to the world known only as Canterlot High. But for some strange reason (that is to say no reason at all), Lyra doesn't change shape whilst crossing dimensions. What's more, the reaction of the students to a mint-green unicorn wandering into their midst is, well, not what she expected.

Cookie for anyone who can guess what this little ball of crazy is based off of.