“I’m sorry, but do you always sing that badly?” Sunset asked as she and Screwball got out of the car, now parked in the driveway of Discord’s house. Most of it was about what you would expect from a single parent with an occupation such as a janitor. Dead tree in the front yard, a few shingles missing from the roof, and some graffiti painted on the garage door spelling out the words “The system is broke.” Whether it was some delinquent’s doing or Screwball’s, Sunset wasn’t entirely sure.
“Whaaaat?! Telling a child that her singing voice does not meet your standards? I for one am shocked and appalled Ms. Shimmer!” Screwball said, crossing her arms and turning her back to Sunset; Strife who had climbed onto Screwball’s shoulder from the car, mimicked his owner and also turned his back and crossed his front legs.
This is what was going to make being nice to Screwball so difficult. Sunset couldn’t ever seem to tell whether Screwball was just messing with her, or when she was legitimately hurt. On the car ride and in the animal shelter, she had made it painfully obvious that she was upset. Here though, she couldn’t really see it.
“…Awww, I’m just messin’ with ya. To be truly honest, I’m usually pretty good actually. Daddy’s always telling me how wonderful my singing voice is.” Screwball admitted, turning her head back to Sunset with a smirk.
“Sooo…”
“What?...Oh that? Pffft. I really thought you knew me by now and how much I love getting on people’s nerves.”
“You were…singing badly on purpose?”
“Yepperooni!”
Part of Sunset wanted to like Screwball. She gets that Screwball was known as the hellspawn of Canterlot High for a reason, but she was REALLY starting to oversell it.
“My God.” Sunset groaned as she rubbed her eyelids.
Screwball got up on her tip-toes, attempting to get up to Sunset’s eye-level, but as expected she was simply too short.
“Hmm? Something the matter Sunset?” Screwball asked in a tone that, as usual, couldn’t be labeled as genuine or not.
While Sunset was pretty sure that Screwball wasn’t particularly concerned, one thing about her question did manage to take Sunset by surprise.
“Hold up…did you just call me Sunset?” she asked.
Screwball shrank back down to her normal height and shrugged. Again, Strife did the same thing as Screwball, shrugging his shoulders as well.
“Well that IS your name isn’t it?” she asked.
“Well yeah. It’s just that…I kinda expected something like ‘Sunny’ or some kind of dumb nickname.” Sunset said.
“Woooow. You really never learn, do you?...alright let me ‘enlighten’ you on the subject. I specialize in Chaos. That much is obvious. Chaos is another word for anything that is incredibly unexpected, unpredictable, and overall, nonsensical. Now, you normally EXPECT me to use some kind of pun pertaining to your name, am I right?” Screwball asked with a slowly growing smile.
“Uhhh…yeah.”
“Exactly my point. See where I’m going here? I live for Chaos, and by actually referring to you by name, I’m being chaotic against my own nature. Got it?” Screwball asked.
Sunset wasn’t entirely aware of what goes through this girl’s head, but somehow that made sense. Chaos was defined as unpredictable and random. And what Screwball was saying was quite far from predictable behavior for her. She actually seemed to be pretty intelligent for her age. She would have to be a mad, devious little genius to come up with half the pranks she does.
But Sunset couldn’t help but feel that Screwball wasn’t telling her the whole story. It almost seemed like she was warming up to her and trying to be a little more considerate, but didn’t want to admit it.
“Unless of course, you’d actually prefer I call you-“
“NO!...Ummm, I mean…no. It’s fine.” Sunset quickly corrected herself from yelling.
Sunset reminded herself that the keyword here was trying.
Screwball looked at the raccoon on her shoulder, who appeared to be purring and rubbing against her face. She scratched under his chin and behind his ears, which resulted in what looked to be a slight smile on the pest’s face.
“Good boy. Now go on the porch m’kay? I’ll be with ya in just a second.” Screwball said. Strife hopped off her shoulder and ran to the porch as he was told. Screwball started to follow him, until she noticed that Sunset was doing the same. She put her arm out, keeping her from advancing any further. This left Sunset thoroughly confused.
“What?”
“Yeaaaah, I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to come inside.” Screwball said.
“What? Why not?” Sunset asked.
Screwball rolled her purple, spiraled eyes.
“Because you haven’t wiped your feet.” She said sarcastically. “No Sunset, have you forgotten who my dad is?”
“Pfft. How could I forget? It’s the janitor, Discord”
“Yup. Now, who do you think had to clean up and repair the entire front of the school after your little…snafu?” Screwball further questioned.
“Wha-…Oooooh. Yeah, I don’t think he’d be too keen on seeing me right now.” Sunset said, thinking to herself how badly that meeting would go down.
“Exactly…So you should probably just go on home, and we’ll catch back up tomorrow…Sooooo, see ya.” Screwball said, once again turning to leave.
While Sunset was starting to think that Screwball was beginning to actually think of Sunset as a legitimate friend, she still wasn’t all that sure the little girl knew how to deal with it. In the back of her head, Sunset could’ve sworn she heard Fluttershy’s advice repeat itself.
‘Kindness and understanding, kindness and understanding, kindness and understanding’
Sunset considered Fluttershy’s advice for a moment, and came to a conclusion. This was gonna be a bit of a long shot, and could possibly result in another “Kick Me” sign on her back, but there was also the chance that it was going to help in Screwball’s reformation, so she thought it’d be worth a try.
“What? No hug for your big sis?” Sunset asked with a slight smirk.
That statement made Screwball stop cold in mid-skip. Sunset had been wondering how much it took to make Screwball, the chaotic hellspawn of Canterlot High, completely speechless, and it appeared that was it.
“……..Wat?” Screwball asked turning around.
“Well isn’t that what sisters are supposed to do?” Sunset asked.
Screwball went from looking completely baffled, to a mild deadpan expression.
“I’m not related to you.” Screwball said. She was starting to wonder if someone had kidnapped Sunset earlier while she wasn’t looking and replaced her with…whoever the heck this was.
“Yeesh, laying it on a little thick aren’t you kid? Why are you so surprised that I’m trying to actually be nice here?”
Screwball scratched the back of her head and looked awkwardly at the ground.
“…Nobody actually bothers to make an attempt to be nice to me. To everyone at school I’m just the little, heartless demon with no soul or feelings to be hurt. No one wants to be anywhere near me, all Celly does is punish me, and I’ve just kinda been on my own for a while. Guess that’s kind of a big downside to being in the Chaos business.” Screwball sighed, that sad look coming back to her eyes from the animal shelter.
“But…didn’t Fluttershy try to be nice to you? And didn’t you basically tell her to shut up?” Sunset asked.
“I dunno. I wasn’t in the mood for talking, so I probably would’ve said anything to get her to be quiet...ugh what was I thinking? The one time anyone makes an attempt to show me a little freaking concern, and I shove it off. I’m so stupid.” Screwball sighed again.
Sunset didn’t think that Screwball could ever make her feel saddened twice in one day, but once again, Screwball proved her wrong, even if it wasn’t intentional this time.
“Well, if it’s any compensation kid, I’ll be your friend.” Sunset offered.
Screwball was taken off-guard yet again.
“But I…I went out of my way to drive you nuts. That doesn’t…bother you at all?” Screwball asked, slightly tilting her head.
“Screwball, I may not understand what the hell goes on in that head of yours, but I can tell that you need friends. Badly. And besides, I’m pretty sure I’m about a million times worse than you.” Sunset said.
“Woah, what?! Are you forgetting who you’re talking to here? I’m freaking Screwball! I chucked chocolate milk balloons at people!”
“I stole a magical element from another dimension.”
“I glued the doors to the school shut!”
“I betrayed my teacher, who also happened to be the ruler of the entire country.”
“I filled the band room with bubbles!”
“I harassed a Princess unrelentingly”
Screwball was getting slightly irritated. To her it was starting to look like Sunset was trying to show her up, and she wasn’t going to have that on her watch.
“I FILLED THE FOOTBALL TEAM’S BALL WITH HELIUM!”
“I TRANSFORMED INTO AN EVIL SHE-DEMON!”
“I PUT A STINK BOMB IN RARITY’S LOCKER!”
“I HYPNOTIZED THE ENTIRE SCHOOL!”
“MY RACCOON TOOK A LEAK IN YOUR CAR!”
“I DESTROYED THE SCHOOL’S ENTRANCE!”
“I KILLED A MAN!”
“…Really?”
“…….Bwahahahahahahahaha! No not really! Did you seriously think…hahahahahaha!” Screwball burst out laughing. She had apparently gotten to the point where she just started making stuff up. The reality was though that Screwball probably couldn’t top all the stuff that Sunset did.
Sunset found Screwball’s laughter a little contagious this time around, and joined in.
“Hahahahaha! You know Screwball, when you get right down to it, you’re really not all that bad. You kinda remind me of Pinkie Pie. Just a little more…devious.” Sunset said.
“Oh stop it…but seriously, don’t stop.” Screwball said with a confident smile and a slight blush.
“So…friends?” Sunset asked, holding out her hand for a handshake. Instead of taking the handshake however, Screwball went the extra mile and went for a full hug.
“In the words of Applejack’s big bro…Eeyup.” Screwball giggled after letting go of Sunset. She happily skipped back to her house, where Strife was impatiently waiting on the front porch for his master to return.
Sunset relished in the knowledge that she was actually starting to get somewhere with the little criminal, and smiled.
“Probably won’t be too difficult from here on out…then again this IS Screwball I’m talking about, so who knows.” Sunset said to herself. She opened the door to her car, only to be presented with the unforgiving odor of raccoon pee.
“…….But that raccoon of hers is roadkill if I ever see it again.” Sunset growled.