When your life is a stack of suckcakes covered in angst syrup and the world turns its back on you after it kicks you into a puddle of hate toast with rejection margarine and the marmalade of loneliness and your parents are completely and totally dead, being a brony can seem meaningless. God, I'm hungry now. Sometimes all we need is a horse -- a great big one -- in a cardboard box to reinforce our own self-imposed martyr complexes.

A parody of My Little Dashie, in case you couldn't figure that out. Read by Illya Leonov!

See what actual, living bronies are saying about My Full-Sized Goddess Horse!

"This is a stark commentary on the self-destructive and delusion-wracked nature of Major Depression, as well as the ephemeral routes of mental escape in which one finds some momentary relief from the endless downpour of despair and hopelessness they experience with this disorder." -Cupcakes

"Vulgar." -Mystic

"This is an actual, for-real quote from ROBCakeran53, author of My Little Dashie." -not ROBCakeran53

"I don’t think this story is fit for Equestria Daily, nor do I think that it will ever be acceptable." -Equestria Daily Pre-Readers

"You truly have a proper grasp of diction!" -MallaJong1

"...My Full-Sized Goddess Horse is a fundamentally entertaining, messageless tale with impeccably-crafted prose." -Amit

"This is the best use of unreliable narrator I've ever seen on fimfic! " -ocalhoun

"...you should probably not smoke as much weed as you did that day." -Lesolan

Reviewed by the actual, for-real Seattle's Angels!

When you yet again find that pony furniture has failed you, something has to be done. You're tired of being uncomfortable, and of having chairs crumble underneath your weight. You decide to take matters into your own hands, and build yourself something to sit in. Now... how exactly does one build a chair, anyway?

This is a dumb story. It is short, and stupid, and really dumb. It's got a few gross sentences too. Hopefully it'll make you laugh a little anyway.

The girls sit Sunset down because her jokes about dating horses have stopped being funny and have actually become really concerning.

Idea and cover art from my talented friend faith, aka fencingclubshimmer on tumblr.https://fencingclubshimmer.tumblr.com/post/173742593871/small-brain-sunsets-friends-make-horse-jokes-and

The most important thing to Night Light is protecting his daughter. She's so smart, and learning so much, but there's dangers that no child can understand.

But tonight's not about that. Tonight is just a bedtime story.

Cover art by Bakki, used with permission.

A collection of short stories inspired by Magic cards generated by RoboFoME, which is powered by FanOfMostEverything’s Friendship is Card Games. Given the nature of the cards generated (completely random), I cannot guarantee that every story will make sense in any capacity, or that the non-AU stories will adhere perfectly to canon.

If you are unsure of why this is, go ahead and have RoboFoME generate a few cards – even if you don’t play or understand Magic – and you’ll see exactly why. This is half experiment and half I-want-something-that-I-can-write-whenever. I make no guarantees on story length.

Rated Teen because I just don’t know. No understanding of Magic is required to read these.

(Some of these may have been proofread by Bugsydor shortly before posting.)
(Some of these may not have been thoroughly proofread by the author before posting.)

“Man, these stories are feckin' weird.” – Present Perfect
“You bastard.” – FanOfMostEverything
“needs a space after the comma” – KingMoriarty
“I like the title.” – Bugsydor

Who’d say that being a flower pony is hard? Roseluck never thought so, but after getting stuck with two lazy coworkers and having to provide flowers for all the occasions, she quickly ends up on her last legs. Luckily, there are always Lily’s “caffeine” pills...

Preread by RK_Striker_JK_5
🇺🇦Russian version🇺🇦 translated by FoxcubRandy and edited by ColdSky

Oh boy, there's a lot going on here. Cheese Sandwich, killer bees, prison escapes, explosions...

A collab with Mocha Star. Assume he wrote all the dumb parts.

When Roseluck's robot threatens the livelihood of flower ponies everywhere, it's up to Lily Valley and Daisy to be Luddites and bring it down. Will they succeed?

A collaboration with the one and only No Raisin!
Beautiful cover Art by TheMajorTechie.

Sunset is invited to a picnic in Equestria where she attempts to get to know the pony versions of her friends then is asked to open a can of creamed corn. Hilarity ensues… No wait… A trip to the ER ensues. That’s what I meant to say.

Part of the MAD verse.

Thanks to Tired Old Man, Nova Quill/Firimil, and
Steel Resolvefor their edits and suggestions and insta-pony-girl for the Sunset Shimmer picture!

Pinkie Pie's simple morning ritual threatens to shatter her very perception of reality, life, and choice in breakfast cereal.

This is PresentPerfect's fault.