Unhinged

by SirNotAppearingInThisFic

Overwhelming [Comedy?]

This story could be viewed as a sequel of sorts to Swallow the Meek. It should still be reasonably independent.

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Story time at the Griffonstone public-ish library had been rising in popularity over the last several months, with the number of attendees reaching as many as two dozen some nights. Renovations had proceeded to the extent that the roof now properly kept the rain out, even if the walls didn’t.

Grampa Gruff had organized the first adult-griffons-only night, because some stories just weren’t fit for the ears of children.

“Alright, everygriffon, grab your drinks and settle down. I don’t have all day.

“First thing’s first: I’m supposed to tell you that Griffon Gourmand provided tonight’s catering and wine, because if I say that, then he’ll give the library a discount.

“Tonight, I’m going to tell you the story of a dark moment in Griffonstone history. Kids these days expect happy endings everywhere, but too bad. Ahem...”

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Once – a very, very, very long time ago – a nondescript unimportant griffon town made a big mistake and became important enough for me to tell a story about it. After the unfortunate fall of King Grover, most griffons started fighting over the scraps of our once-proud empire. This town stayed together on account of their successful mines.

They mined for all sorts of things, from gold to the very dirt itself, provided they could find a buyer. The griffons of this town knew they couldn’t work the mines if they fought with each other, so they didn’t. For a time, they were the wealthiest town in Griffonstone. Grover knows they had the best pub around; The Bull and Dragon is still around to this day and serves the finest ale I’ve ever had.

Anyway, they built a small railway to help get their minerals to a larger market. A larger market means more bits, you know. At the same time, they spread their mines farther out and dug them deeper. It's a bit of a miracle that they didn’t provoke a dragon or awaken some horrible demon as a result. One fateful day, however, they were confronted by ponies while prospecting in one of the nearby mountains.

These weren’t earth ponies and they weren’t quite pegasuses; they were the flying ponies of the night, with wings like bats. At the time, they were Luna’s favored ponies, before she became Nightmare Moon: Bat-ponies. They call themselves ‘chiroptera’ now, I think.

Well the griffons didn’t like that much, because the mountain had a lot of good minerals in it that they wanted. Just because the griffins of this town worked together didn’t mean they weren’t greedy like dragons. The chiroptera lived there, though, and they wouldn’t let the griffons have their way. It didn’t take long for a proper fight to break out as one side tried to drive the other away.

The griffons weren’t very organized about it, because none of them would agree on a leader for anything, even that. Somewhere among the name-calling and face-making, though, both sides reached a consensus: They’d take their fight to the pub, like civilized people, and trade their insults over a good round of drinking. This happened most days of the week, and went on for over a month. I hear the insults they traded were some of the most impressive that griffon ears had ever heard, and sensible as they tried to be, the griffons had them chiroptera over a barrel one night.

Records of their insults mostly don’t exist but for that last night. One of the griffons got ‘em good by calling the chiroptera “backwards, lazy, vampire-bat-wannabes whose ancestors had to hunt cows to have wings”.

That didn’t sit well with Luna, and I guess because she’s one of those pegasus-unicorns and a creature of the night herself, it didn’t take her but a moment to appear in the pub that night. In the height of their greed, the griffons of this town forgot that Luna would jealousy defend her ponies, and that the chiroptera were untouchable.

Luna was no fool when it came to such a fight, and I can only suppose that her infighting with her sister gave her such angst that her insults put everything that came before to shame. Insults that – while recorded – I will not be repeating in the company of such young ears. She broke the pride and spirit of every griffon in the tavern that night. As she left, she warned them that, if they so much as flew near that mountain or any other claimed by her ponies, she would insult them a second time.

With their pride shattered, the griffons turned on each other to stave off how they really felt and that town became as divided as any other.

The end. That’s it. No refunds.

Author's Note:

RoboFoME card (ColTill edition):

Overwhelming
2RR
Creature Creature — Equipmental
Target land collectors: Until end of turn. At the beginning of your library. (Put a legendary and has don’t untapped creature.

Griffin Gourmand.

Pegasus Unicorn.

Flying

Tap another creatures gains indestroy each.

With the meeth.

ColTill (whose account is not active on Fimfiction, that I can tell) picked this card on account if I sort of promised that I would write something with batponies in it… over a year and a half ago.  I still haven’t, so here are some batponies. It still didn’t turn out to focus on them a lot, but at least they’re there.

The nondescript town is actually (very) loosely based on an actual town called Meeth.  The Bull and Dragon is an actual pub there. The facts I used start dwindling at that point, aside from the presence of clay mines up until 2004 (Wikipedia tells me).

I almost had Gourmand (the griffon one, because the card says so) telling this story, in the context of all griffons being storytellers at heart, though things settled in a little easier this way.  I still think griffons are probably suckers for a good story, whether they’re telling it or not.

Comments

[FanOfMostEverything]

I do appreciate the use of my preferred term for bat ponies. Another excellent tale from Gruff, especially the way he ends each one with "No refunds" even now.

[Bugsydor]

Are you implying that Luna hails from Prance?

[PresentPerfect]

Oh man, I hate when has don't untapped creature.