Sunset Shimmer thought her friends were kidding when they said they needed to have a serious talk with her, because usually if one of them had a problem, they’d deal with it up front. She’d never had a problem with all of them, and if she did, she was sure it was something minor.
She never ever would have guessed the subject that they actually wanted to talk about.
She stood there kind of dumbfounded, not quite exactly sure what to say. “I’m sorry, could you repeat that again?”
“Are you...attracted to horses?” Twilight asked, adjusting her glasses, shifting uncomfortably next to Rarity who, while clearly apart of the conversation, clearly didn’t want to be.
“What makes you think I’m attracted to horses?” Sunset asked, an eyebrow raised. “So, what, you think because I’m a pony that I’d want to get it on with horses from this world? Do you guys want to date apes?”
“It’s not that Sunset,” Fluttershy said stepping forward. “It’s just...you make these jokes that...make it seem like you’d you know...” she blushed a little and hid behind her hair.
“Jokes?” Sunset repeated, and then she finally understood. Much to the bemusement to her friends, Sunset had been making jokes about the horses on Applejack’s farm.
Whenever they’d come over after school, Sunset would walk up to Missy, the resident mare on the Apple Family farm, and wink at her or give her a kiss on the cheek.
At one point she and Rarity had been over to help Applejack with some farm work since the other girls were busy, and Sunset had been leaning up against an empty stable enjoying a cold apple cider after a long days work, and she overheard Applejack speaking to Rarity.
“So we’re getting a new mare and—”
“Is she hot?”
The cheeky remark left her mouth before she could stop herself, and the looks of disdain and confusion on Applejack and Rarity’s faces were ones that Sunset wanted to frame above a fireplace. “What’s her name?”
Applejack had strode over to her and throttled her by her shirt collar, making her head shake back and forth like a bobblehead as she said, “Is she single?”
She thought the jokes were hilarious, but she knew now that the feeling wasn’t exactly mutual among her friends.
“Of course, we wouldn’t blame you,” Twilight said softly, putting a hand on Sunset’s shoulder. “You are, in fact, equine. And all members of a species are attracted to other members of that same genus,”
Sunset was about to say something very, very inappropriate but breathed out through her nose. She calmly removed Twilight’s hand from her shoulder and turned to the rest of the girls. “I, am not attracted to horses.”
Pinkie pointed at her. “But you said—”
“I know what I said,” Sunset cut her off curtly with a snarl. “But it’s just a joke. Do you guys actually think I’d sneak in here and rendezvous with Missy like I’m some horny homesick weirdo?”
“There’s the time at the at the anti-bullying assembly where you got so nervous you forgot your entire speech, started spouting nonsense, and ended up asking the entire school if they’ve ever seen a horse’s er...stallionhood. You even said it was amazing as if you’ve seen one before,” Rarity said, her face scrunching up in even more disgust most likely in response to the memory. “Honestly, you wrote such a beautiful speech the night before. I don’t even know what happened to you up there,”
“And the fact that every time Mr. Doodle turns on the projector, a fake ad for a horse dating website mysteriously just pops up on screen,” Rainbow Dash chimed in waving her hands. “I’m not stupid, I know it's you. You’re the only one who has the bluetooth password to that thing.”
The other girls nodded in agreement with varying degrees of confirmation.
“We’re not saying you can’t make these jokes,” Applejack said, folding her arms. “We’re just saying someone might get the wrong idea about you.”
“Like you guys did?” Sunset asked, eyebrow quirked.
Twilight opened her mouth to rebuke, but shut it, since as much as she hated to admit it, Sunset had a valid point.
“And you guys hang around me. Wouldn’t you be guilty by association?” Sunset asked, looking around at the faces of her friends. “I mean let’s be honest we save the world wearing pony ears you don’t think at least one person already thinks some weird shit’s going on?”
Twilight bit her thumb. “She’s right, especially after what happened at the Light Parade, we’re all over the internet with pony ears and tails,”
“Don’t forget that picture we took with Princess Twilight,” Dash reminded them. “It ended up in the yearbook last year.”
Rarity nodded. “And the countless students who have seen us fight all those demons—er no—”
“We’re not doing this again,” Sunset and Twilight deadpanned simultaneously, Twilight annoyed, Sunset, slightly angry.
“Right,” Rarity blushed and cleared her throat. “In any case Sunset does have a point. Though I think she has attempted to remove the attention from herself and put it on us. The point still stands that your antics aren’t fun for anyone but you.”
Sunset sighed. “You’re right. You guys are right. I’m sorry,” she said softly, looking at the ground. “I shouldn’t make jokes that make the people around me uncomfortable. I'm sorry,"
“Thank you!” Applejack exclaimed, happy that she wouldn’t find Sunset in her barn in the middle of the night in some compromising position.
“That you have shit taste in jokes!” Sunset said, grinning.
“Aw c’mon!” Dash said, throwing her hands in the air exasperated. “We should have seen that coming!” she pointed at Sunset. “I refuse to leave this alone until confess you want to bang horses!”
“I don’t want to do anything with any horse!” Sunset shot back. “I’m a pony first, second, a horse would destroy me!”
“Gross,” Dash commented.
“Ick,” Rarity added.
Sunset shrugged. “Hey, you asked. And trust me,” Sunset said to them, reassuringly. “No horses for this girl.”
Later that night while everyone was making plans for that weekend in the groupchat, a mysteriously new account joined the chat, posted a picture and left. What irritated the girls wasnt the fact that the unknown user had joined, no, they knew who it was, it was what the user had left.
It was a picture of a horse, with the words ‘I’m available’ above it.
Sunset cackled to herself as she could hear the simultaneous, Goddamit, Sunset!