• Member Since 5th Dec, 2011
  • offline last seen 6 hours ago

Cynewulf


Kofi: https://ko-fi.com/aliceroarke | Discord Link: Ask! | Bread and Roses

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When Celestia went on sabbatical into the west, she promised Twilight it would be only a couple of months. A year and a half later, the sun resists control, the country is in ruins, and her teacher is lost in the wilds. Twilight has become the apostate, her faith in her teacher and her teachings waning. In the wake of tragedy, her resentment blossoms into fury and she vows that something must be done. Shadows gather around Canterlot, and old things that should not have been awakened are on the move. The Student goes west, her hope restored by friendship and righteous fury.

The night, at long last, is passing.

Chapters (53)
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Comments ( 1360 )

Twilight Sparkle: Badflank spellslinger.

I'll be honest: I am afraid to read this... but not as afraid as I am of not reading it and missing some wonderful storytelling. 'Dark' is not my favored genre, but I'm going to trust that a well-crafted and moving story is ahead of me, and continue. The first few pages have been excruciatingly suspenseful, and there's some excellent worldbuilding there.

Cover me, I'm going in. :rainbowdetermined2:

2366054 I promise worldbuilding everywhere of all sorts. Jannah is yet to come.

2366054
I'll take the right. You cover the left.
Together, the worldbuilding will be ours!

2366066
2366102

Ugh, it's so good, but it hurts to read it, too.

I can't stop. The end of this chapter is going to be painful, when there's no more to read...

Intrigued...looking forward to more.

2366132
Wait, you're not done yet?
Oh...
Oh! Uh... have fun with that.

2366139

Savoring, my friend, savoring. Good writing deserves langorous consumption.

2366132 I think you'll like the second chapter more.

2366137 I'm glad you enjoyed it!

Hmm? What's this? :trixieshiftright:

Oh, that's right. It's epic storytelling. This has me on the edge of my seat. Anxiously awaiting the next entry.

2366146
It wasn't a critique on your reading speed, if it is, in fact, slow. (Not that I'm trying to imply that it is.)
I was simply surprised that you posted a comment before finishing the chapter.

2366158 That's kind of you! :D

2366164

It's too good NOT to post an early comment.

2366152

I'm liking this one, even though the state of the world is saddening. You've laid an excellent (though maddeningly opaque) foundation and not simply torn life asunder for the joy of wreaking havoc, so it's... an oddly satisfying sort of sadness. One that's filled with the hope for renewal.

2366184
I'll give you that! I've got the advantage of being able to comment on this stuff in real time if I so desire.

2366184 Thank you! That's kind of you

The night is passing, after all. Not even nightmares last.

2366180 I have the occasional flash of kindness every now and then. You did a greater kindness by writing this. Well... can a dark fic be a kindness? I say this one is. :derpytongue2:


Just read the author's note:

"The sunbutt teacher fled across the worlds and the Student spellslinger followed."

- My first though was he lied with every word... :twilightsmile:

2366250 I'm so pleased you saw that. :3

“Honestly, Rainbow, weren’t you the one who thought this was a trap?”

After "Where The Sun Is Silent," I would sure hope she learned her lesson.

“No! Don’t you dare tell me it’s gonna be all right, Twi! Don’t you dare! It ain’t alright! Ain’t never gonna be. It’s wrong! The world shouldn’t be this way! It wasn't meant to be this way.” Her drawl warped the words, mangling them into something akin to sobbing.

That was as close as you got me to crying, Cynewulf. Damn feels... they hurt me so.

Well that sure didn't take long for the shit to hit the fan. Princess Luna really couldn't handle the kingdom on her own?

By the way, do the marauding bands have anything to do with the mercenaries in Jannah? (From all that I've observed, that seems like just a bad place to go) They seemed similar, but it seems unlikely that they are related groups. It'd sure be neat, though.

Also the obligatory, "does this take place in the Songverse?"

2366193

I would have liked to have offered my services in that regard, but life sometimes makes me unreliable in terms of time commitments, and I don't want to overpromise. However, I am always glad to lend a hand to people whose work I enjoy, and those recommended by others. If I can ever be of assistance, please just ask!

2366199

You're welcome, and thank you for the effort you've expended on making this so good. I am greatly looking forward to the next chapter. The ending of this one is a bit painful, but still, an excellent start. Your abililty to build and sustain tension is amazing. This entire chapter has a slow burn smoldering beneath all the action and dialogue.

... "fled across the worlds?"

2366298

... "fled across the worlds?"

There are other worlds than these.

2366285 Songverse and "Nightverse" lie parallel to one another, but aren't the same.

Poor Applejack

2366298 HeheheheheheheheheheHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE

Okay honestly that was mostly because I was quoting The Gunslinger's famous opening line... but only mostly. Sort of.

2366320 Ahh, I see. A new universe has spawned!

Awesome I love dark stories like this but mind if I ask, is
fluttershy... Dead?

Awesome chapter.

You've managed to mix action, drama, ponies, and plot all into one magnificent creature.

Seriously, well done to you and all who were involved.

2366328 Nope. In fact you'll see her sometime next week if you stay tuned. Fluttershy is safe at home! I think they mention that. EDIT: Home being Canterlot.

2366333 Thankya that's kind of you! I hope you enjoy it as it goes

2366338

You're welcome.

And I'm sure I will.

2366316

I figured as much, I just noticed the phrasing there. :)

2366320

Should I be afraid, or join in? :)

To answer the last line of your notes, this most certainly is worth the time- it's drawn me in and kept me agitated while reading. I dread what may happen, but at the same time have faith that you'll do right by the characters in the end.

Damn, I want to say more, but... really, I just enjoyed it too much to have a lot of worthwhile criticism. It's just plain great reading, and I'm hooked and can't wait to see what's next.

Hopeful, I'm hopeful.

hm... makes me have a thought: what if Celestia made a spell that 'freezes' the sun over the location of the people responsible for her death and for it to never shift from that location so the land will never hold life again?

just a thought...

How do you do it? How does one find time to write so many stories in short order? I feel like a slacker. :fluttershysad:

2366547 I'm a college student with few friends and no life and I write fast. This is what I do! I made this story March 13 and was to chapter 5 (all of them 7-8K) by like... the 27th or 28th. I hustle.

It's my only hobby these days. Well, this and playing Medieval Total War GOD I hate it when the Pope makes me play nice with the damn French

I have nothing insightful to say. Sickness makes my brain confuddled. But I'm so looking forward to the next chapter. On the edge of my seat (except I'm lying in a bed. Hmm...)
I realise I forgot to comment when I had a sneak peek. Oops. Sorry about that. I forget things often. :derpyderp1:

2366634 Awww, I'm sorry you're sick, Miss LH! :c

It's comin' up soon, though, the next bit.

Okay, that was pretty damn awesome :rainbowderp:

The foundations of the world that you're building are very interesting, and I can't wait to see more of it :pinkiehappy:.

The narrative style did remind me of that of the Dark Tower series a fair bit - and that little line-drop World’s moved on; Brilliant. The pacing seemed a bit hit-and-miss at times; It would begin to dip into absolute immersion, but then a little skip would drag me back out again. I'm not quite sure how to describe it, so I might read over this again later and try give you some useful feedback :rainbowwild:. Nonetheless, it was still a very good read, and I look forwards to more :pinkiehappy:

2366937 Yay! I'm glad you enjoyed it. King is a huge influence on me.

Also, you're probably right. I think in particular the little flashback seperated so much from the main narrative may have been a mistake.

No offence, because it does sound like a good story and I still intend to read it, but did you HAVE TO USE sabbatical, the fact I HAD to search it up makes me less inclined to read the story. Why? I don't want to carry a dictionary around with me while reading.
Sometimes SIMPLE is better. Simply saying went on leave/ceasing/rest from work might not have as much mystic quality to it, but I bet it would confuse a helluva lot less readers.

2367476 Sabbatical is a pretty common term...

2367568
I've never heard it, and I'm 19. It mustn't be common if I've never heard it on the internet.
But I digress, point made.

2367572
sorry, but im 21 and im a bit stunned that you've never heard of it, it might not be a word that's easily used on the internet, but it's quite a common word nonetheless.

2367607
Guess that's what comes from growing up an auzzie, different words are more common.
Take mate for example.

Woo-wee. This looks marvelous.

I don't know quite what you have planned for us, but I don't mind. Just keep sculpting beautiful prose like this. I'll admit, though, that the tag combination was what initially got me here. The double-heaping of dark pleases me, the adventure aspect just makes me happy, and don't think I don't see that Romance tag! Mmmm, shipping. I saw Luna and Twilight listed on the characters, and for a brief moment I got very excited, but now I can tell such a dream won't happen. That's negligible, however, because the writing is too damn tasty.

2367614
yea i guess, point taken. although i have to say, even though i said i was a bit stunned that you didn't know the word, everyone always have a few words that they don't recognize that are actually quite common.

I will read. But for now, it looks like you need a space in the description.

waning.In

2367721
:twilightsmile: Well I learned something new today.

2367476 Sometimes the readers should expand their vocabulary. Aim HIGHER, not lower.

I'm leery to read about this because of this line in the description: "...and old things that should not have been awakened are on the move".

Every story I've ever-increasingly hesitantly begun reading utilizing a variation of that phrasing in the description has ended up introducing excrutiatingly OP OC villains or crossover villains, or variations of G1 villians who are inexplicably drastically more powerful than everyone and everything else.

Too many bad experiences with God-mode Stu villains who manage to pull of Xanatos Gambit/Roulette/Rube Goldberg-fusion master plans with the ease most people can win a game of tic-tac-toe against a toddler have left me a scarred, cynical, wary reader.

Still, the initial chapter does indicate a high level of competency from my initial rapid skim, even if I find myself doubting that Twilight and company would wait a year or more to begin searching for Celestia (given Twi's personality, I'd expect her to mount a full-on invasion were Celestia to be even a week late.). So I'll observe its development for now.

I shall comment more once I've had time to read the chapter more thoroughly.

2367476 Sabbatical is a pretty common term. To a point, you are correct, simplicity is oftentimes better. But only when being simple actually serves a point. It's also moot as sabbatical is a common term, and even if it wasn't, you can figure it out by noticing the "Sabbath" in sabbatical and can from there say it probably has somethin' to do with rest.

2367674 heh heh heh your comment pleases me.
Yes! My three favorite tags all together

2368101 As rad as that satan villain dude from G1 is, he's not in this story. I have plans in mind, da. I don't think it's what you're thinking, however.

Celestia seems to have done a pretty shitty job of ensuring her civilization will be capable of functioning in a crisis. One princess disappears and Equestria's happy existence slides into a dystopian nightmare.

What has me hooked is not the premise, but the depth and quality of your writing, which doesn't surprise me after reading your "Toonami" fanfic. The emotion really came out in Applejack's scene, both when she saw what had been done to her home and when she confronted Twilight. For some reason, she feels like the most expressive character thus far.

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