I can't help but be curious.
Even if you're successful and DO pro-create with the Human, that leaves out one little detail. Just how long is it going to take for a centaur to gestate inside you? If normal pony anatomy carries over, it should take 11 months. Is this going to be too long for the centaur to stop Nyarlathotep? Babies don't just magically "pop out," do they? Can you cast some kind of magic spell to speed it up?
Nyarlathotep isn't going to be here for several years, so you should ideally have time to raise the centaur and teach it what you need to. You would go into that further, but right now, all that is on your mind is what is in front of you.
Stare in shock.
That is exactly what you are doing. Actually, you're pretty sure you just turned into what Spike was back in the library at this point.
"Umm.... Twilight..." Fluttershy says to you, still tied up and seeming concerned.
OH GODDESS DAMNIT!! Fluttershy got the human to ride her before you did! YOU were the one who brought him here. YOU were the one tracking him down for days. Then Fluttershy stumbled upon him and took him away from you!
You're going to make her talk!
Collateral Damage
No.... No...... no no no no no no no no no no no..... Fluttershy is to innocent and pure to do that sort of thing. She couldn't have... could she?
Notice a random trollface on Fluttershy's side.
Suddenly, you have no idea why, but you see Fluttershy's face get replaced by something.... well, something you can't even comprehend.
"Umm... Twilight..." Fluttershy says again, this time sounding even more concerned. However, you don't hear her. All you here is this weird song that keeps on playing.... forever.... without stopping. You don't notice this at all, but your left eye suddenly starts twitching.
Your left eye starts to twitch from the sight of your friend.
TS:What the...
Your inner pinkie appears
IP:OOH, Is this some new game?
ghost of Sombra appears
GS:What did i miss?
sombra Turns to look Fluttershy. when he sees her, his eyes widen and Big smile appears to his face.
GS:Bow chicka bow wow!
Your inner Fluttershy floats near you with deep blush on her face.
IF:Oh, oh my...
You can feel blush coming to your own face. Finally you can't take sombra any more.
TS:Shut up!! Shut up all of you!!!
Fluttershy (Still tied to bed) Looks you with horror filled eyes. She is trying to free herself with new vigor, but why? she should be calm now that you're here.
"Ooh, is this some new game?" your inner Pinkie says as she suddenly appears out of nowhere.
"So, what did I miss?" says the Ghost of Sombra as he suddenly appears as well. He then suddenly turns to look at Fluttershy. His eyes widen as large as they can for a moment before a huge smile appears on his face. "Bow chicka bow wow!" he says.
"Oh, my...." your inner Fluttershy suddenly says as she appears. A huge blush adorning her face. You suddenly begin to feel your face redden as well, though you are not sure why.
Fluttershy just stares back at you with a confused, yet concerned look on her face. You however, do not see that nor do you acknowledge your inner friends or Sombra, cause all you can see is Fluttershy with that weird face and hear that weird song... You feel yourself getting hotter for a brief moment. You can feel it... you can...
Suddenly you are distracted from all of your thoughts by a rather strange sound.
You look down and notice a small, grey ellipse with words in them.
Achievement unlocked: I HAS MADNESS!!!
Achievement: I HAS MADNESS!!!
Description: You have gained so many stress points that your mind has started to tear itself to pieces. Now those fragments follow you and continue making you more and more mad while shatering your mind more. Have fun.
At that moment, you think you can literally feel your mind snap like a Twix bar.
"Um... Twilight... are you..." Fluttershy tries to say again, but you ignore her.
Flick off the lights, bash your head on the wall a couple times, turn the lights on, see Fluttershy still there, use your katana to cut her free.
Instead, you turn off the lights. Suddenly, its pitch black again, neither you nor Fluttershy can see anything. The only sounds that can be heard are the sound of somepony's head (yours) bashing against the wall several times.
Find the light switch (2)
Eventually, after several minutes, you turn the lights back on, only for Fluttershy to see you barely able to stand now. Also Fluttershy's wall now has the nice addition of a pony head sized hole in it.
You stand there for a few moments in a nice, relaxing, actual pain inducing daze before you shake yourself free of it and look back over at Fluttershy.
Action: Release Fluttershy and make her talk about how this happened.
THen see if she's willing to help you capture the human!
Make her release her inner Iron will side to help you out!
Untie her, Celestamn it!
Release Fluttershy. Ask what happened. she explains that the human was here. have fluttershy help you, and then this ->>> Tatsurou
when exiting fluttershy's home you see a random bottle of yellow fluid. grab it and yell, "Jarate." you don't know why you did this, but it seems appropriate.
You let out an extremely loud sigh as you walk over towards Fluttershy and pull your katana out of its scabbard with your magic. Whatever she did to end up in this position, the least you can do is free her.
Ordinarily you would try to untie her sheets, but since you've had enough bulls*** for the past several days, you instead decide to skip that and go for the much simpler route of cutting her loose with your katana. You can buy her some new bedsheets later.
You cut the bonds on all of her hooves. Once they're all off, she hops out of bed and slips the restraints off herself. As she does that, you look to Angel bunny, who is still trapped in her hair. He looks back of you with a look of absolute horror, like you're going to do something really bad to him in the next two seconds.
You don't even realize it at first, but you had inadvertently pointed the blade of your katana directly at him. You have no idea why you did that. Noticing this, you sigh loudly again and put the katana back in its scabbard. You then use your magic to untie the rabbit from Fluttershy's hair. In retrospect, those knots weren't that hard to undo, you probably could have skipped the cutting for the bedsheets.
Regardless, Angel bunny just drops to the floor and does a quick little victory dance to celebrate his freedom before hopping away.
"Thank you Twilight," Fluttershy says to you as she gets the last of her restrains off.
"Don't mention it," you respond in the most deadpan voice possible. You don't think you've ever been able to deadpan your voice that much before. After you say that, you turn back towards the door and begin to head towards the stairs. "Come on down, I'll make us some tea." you say to her in a somehow even more deadpan voice.
Commence Manual Uncoiling and Information Extraction (moderate strength).
INTERROGATE!
Interrogating her is exactly what you are planning on doing. You two are going to have A LOT of things to talk about while you have that tea. You will have a lot of questions for her.
What will you ask her?
What do you do?
-Meanwhile, back in the cave-
An incredibly thick haze filled the entire cave, and the smoke that Bon Bon blew out from her mouth gave a clear indication as to what it was before she passed the bong over to Minuette. Both of their eyes just stared straight as Minuette took the next hit.
In front of them, the human that they had been helping to hide from Twilight Sparkle was on his hands and knees doing some kind of weird crawl back and forth. Lyra and Berry Punch were on both sides of him copying his actions, though since they had hooves it was easier for them to do.
"What are they even doing?" Bon Bon asked as she just watched them.
"Beats the Tartarus out of me," Minuette said as she put the bong back down. "Lyra and Berry seemed to be having fun though."
"Yeah..." Bon Bon replied, her eyes were almost completely glazed over, and red. The two of them just sat there for several minutes (or was it seconds) and watched them. No matter how long they watched, neither of them could understand at all what they were doing or why. It seemed kind of pointless.
"Hey, Bon Bon," Minuette said to her. "Did you ever give him that..."
"Oh, right!" Bon Bon replied as she suddenly realized what Minuette was talking about. "Hey [insert name here]," she called out to the human.
"Huh," the human replied as he stopped doing whatever it was he was doing and stood back up. "Yeah, Bon Bon."
"I almost forgot," Bon Bon said to him. "We got something for you." As she said that, she walked over to her saddlebags by her tent and dug her head in them to search for something. The human just walked back over to where she was standing. Right as he got there, Minuette levitated the bong up and lighter up to his face. She threw him a comforting smile as she did.
The human just smiled back and took the bong from her before taking his own hit. Behind him, Lyra and Berry Punch were still doing what he was doing.
A few moments later, Bon Bon came back with something in her teeth. The human handed the bong back to Minuette before he turned to face her. What was in her teeth would have made him drop the bong had it not been for Minuette.
Slowly, he bent down so that he was eye level with her and held out his right hand. Bon Bon just placed what she had in it gently and let it go.
"For when you run into Twilight again," Bon Bon said to him with a smirk on her face.
The human just stood back up as he brought what Bon Bon had given him closer to his face to see it better. After staring at it for a few moments, he let his other hand grab the handle, and pull it out of its sheath.
"Woah..." was all the human could say as he saw his reflection in it. Bon Bon had just given him a knife, but not just any knife. She had just given him a full on bowie knife.
"Don't cut yourself," Minuette said to him as she placed the bong down on the sand.
"Ahhh I only got one speaking line..."
I'm sorry Pinkie.
"Ah, its okay. Not even I can come up with interesting things to say all the time. Plus, the joke will get old if you keep doing it every time I show up."
Yeah, though really it isn't exactly you, its Twilight's inner perception of you.
"Yeah, but its still me, so it counts."
Yeah, I guess you're right. Sorry.
"Ah, don't worry about it Razor. Its no biggie."
Thanks.... Still, how about I make it up to you.
"WITH CUPCAKES!!!!???"
......Sure why not.
"YAY!!!!!!"
Ask her if she can hear that song in the most calm way you can. (Screaming)
Smack Pinkie in the mouth. Then put her in the figure four leg lock.
"So, Fluttershy, met any new animals recently?"
Do the Dinosaur
Then ask who tied her up... and why...
Fluttershy says " I almost had sex with a bipedal creature. But then I took chloroform to the face." Then Bash your face into the wall as you think about what a lame joke that was.
Breathe in, breathe out
You've lost your mind without a doubt.
You're not taking all this rationally are you?
If the human escapes indefinitely there'll be nothing to do.
Then you're doom.
heh I rhymed.
I should do it again!
M to the U to the NDY
You better not be a stupid bloody spy
I'm mundylicious!
Yeah I went there.
You can smell the scent of the heat spell you put on the human, and it's all over Fluttershy. Sadly Wonder why it is that you are always looked over by guys in favor of the shy one (Fluttershy), and the Prom Queen (Rarity), you're pretty too dammit. Cast these thoughts aside for later as you realize something, you stopped Rarity from mating with the human, but if Fluttershy succeeded then perhaps your mission is completed. Ask her in the most calm and non-suspicious voice you can:
FLUTTERSHY ARE YOU PREGNANT?!!!
And cue Fluttershy spitting out her tea in surprise.
Ask fluttershy if the human tied her up. You've heard that humans want to do horrible things to ponies, and it's totally not because you're ugly that the human runs away from you rather than fathering centaurs with you.
Ask her if you can enter her mind to look at her memories of the time the human was near.
*"rational" voice inside your head* Since anypony -or human, for that matter- must be ridiculously drugged to not want to mate with you, Twilight Sparkle, why not cast a spell that detects the use of drugs? Hay, it's not the worst thing that the split personality inside of you has suggested today.
*another side* Now prank call a kedaaah shop.
*yet another side* No, start spinning around saying "brbrbrbrbrbrbrbrbrbrbrbrbrbrbrbrbrbrbrbrbrbrbrbrbrbrbrbrbrbrbrbrbrbrbrbrbrbrbrbrbrbr, aeiou aeiou aeiou aeiou aeiou aeiou aeiou aeiou, Exclamation point question mark Exclamation point question mark Exclamation point question mark Exclamation point question mark, uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu, John Madden John Madden John Madden John Madden John Madden."
*your inner Navi* Hey! Listen! Hey! Listen! Hey! Listen! Hey! Listen! Hey! Listen! Hey! Listen! Hey! Listen! Hey! Listen! Hey! Listen! Hey! Listen!
*your inner .MOV!Fluttershy* hey, hey, hey! Stay outta my shed!!!
*your inner Yami* Have you tried challenging the human to a children's card game? It applies to every situation. Barring that, have you tried collecting 10 Star Chips? If that has failed, did you collect all of the locator cards?
*your inner BEN* you've met a terrible fate, haven't you?
*your inner Twilight Sparkle with voices in her head* (see above, loop at this point of advice for a few times, then proceed to the next line)
*your inner bobobo bo bo bobo defense mechanism promptly kicks in, and all of the voices inside your head start a no-holds-barred battle royale inside your head in order to determine which course of action you should take.*
test the shit out of that knife bro
Your inner Applejack, Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, and Ghost Sombra, all do the macarena.
Damn looks like I missed one hell of a party. By the way, you mind telling me what the hell happened? and WHERE THE HELL IS HE?!?!?
You look deep in Fluttershy's eyes. Finally you start to talk
TS: So Fluttershy. Seen anything new?
You take sip from your tea and look her. Fluttershy looks you from behind her mane.
F: U-Um, What do you mean?
Your left eyebrow rises when you hear her words.
TS: Oh nothing mutch. New plants, new ponies maybe some new animals?
When she hears your words her eyes widen (At least the one eye you can see) and she swallows her tea down the wrong way. This confirms it, she knows where he is.
TS: Where is he?
Fluttershy is coughin, but still answers
F: W-what?
You frown and flip the table over. Fluttershy's eyes widen.
TS: What city are you from?
F: W-what?
TS: "What" ain't no city I ever heard of. do they speak equestrian in "What"?
F: W-w-What?
Now her eyes are filled with horror.
TS: EQUESTRIAN MOTHERF****R!!! Do you speak it?
F: Y-yes!
She almost screams these words. tears are starting to fill her eyes. you don't like to do this, but the whole equestria is in danger.
TS: Then you know what I'm saying.
F: Yes.
TS: Then tell me where did he go.
F:...What?
Your left eye starts to twitch uncontrollably. You draw the katana and point it at Fluttershy.
TS: Say "what" again. Say "what" again. I dare you. I double-dare you, motherf****r. Say "what" one more celestiadamn time.
F: I DON'T KNOW, I DON'T KNOHOHOHOW.
Now she is crying in the floor. you look at her and you can feel your anger rising.
TS: WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN YOU DON'T KNOW!!!
F:i-i was knocked out so i didnt see where he went.
Your anger finally breaks out in a horrible torrent of curses.
[In ponyville]
AJ: Where the hay has that mare gone
Suddenly flood of curses start to come from near Everfree forest.
AJ: The hay is that?
[Everfree forest]
BB: Oh, that was fun.
M: Yeah best bong ever.
The human just laughs. Suddenly loud voice fills the cave.
HU: Is that... Oh god that is Twilight's voice. RUN AWAY!
[Canterlot]
Celestia is sitting in her desk and looks the book that she has finally gotten ready.
C: Finally. now i can give this book filled with Starswirl the bearded's spells to...
Loud voice filled with words that no pony should say interrupts her. she listens litle while and confusion rises to her face.
C Twilight?
==> Twilight: Spontaneously break down in guilt.
all of a sudden you fall to the floor, and you hear a wierd sound. (Twilight)
Do you know what a hind helicopter is?
Oh and of course we have to give her new achievement.
Achievement unlocked: The madness has been doubled!!!
Description: SO you still keep collecting stress points? Well now you have so much of them that your emotions are starting to run wild. You still can turn around so keep calm and HAVE FUN
After interrogating Fluttershy give your katana a lightning enchantment, your inner Pinkie's Pinkie sense senses a very dramatic fight in the near future.
I got nothing. This comment may as well not be here, but it is anyway.
Twilight decides to interrogate using the Tickle Feather, the most notorious and deadly of all interrogation implements!
WHILE EATING A PIE!
Suddenly, a random float with [insert human metal band name here] floats by...
Gottago!
Option 1: Ask where the human went. The direct approach is the easiest.
Option 2: Dance around the subject by pretending that you're completely calm and ask about a bunch of things that have no relevance whatsoever to your current situation before letting slip the idea that you know that she knows. Then, "Where is the human?"
Option 3: Search for Zergs! Don't let them flank you!
Since all form of niceness is gone, demand the reason why she was tied up and what in tartus is a version of her is in my head.
2293643 so win
2293760 do this also
ask what happened
Flutters explains about the human.
Ask her to help you so that she can be in the story for a little longer.
???
PROFIT
I got nothin
Tell Fluttershy that the way she was tied up is a position from the bondage chapters in the Pony Sutra, and that you think the human was here last night.
Fluttershy tries to avoid confessing that she used 'the stare' on the human by steering the conversation towards bondage rather than the human. She is surprisingly well informed on the topic.
Fluttershy goes into the kitchen to get more tea and come back wearing a tight, black latex suit much like your own. She was huffing heat fumes off the human all night long, and she has a really bad case of whatever the filly version of blueballs is called. She wants to help you find the human.
You've made a powerful ally.
Action: Ask Fluttershy
Question: "Who did this to you? Explain yourself this instant!"
ask where he is nicely, if se dodges questions or just dosent answer
give yourself a double voice
and in the most untimidating way possible say
where. is. he?
2295964 It would still fail to have the same level of appeal as the other delicacies you mentioned.
You must maintain proper grammar and still appear sane, so ask calmly, WHERE THE F DID THAT BIPEDAL BITCH GO!?
Threaten Fluttershy with your katana until she says something.
2296898 eat a burrito
WHERE THE BUCK IS MY LOVE MONKEY!!!
you accidentally cut yourself with the knife
Fluttershy are you pregnant and also WHERE THE BUCK IS HEĀ”!!!!!???
ask her about the human!!!!! and if she is pregnant
2294210 yea, do that
-Meanwhile, back in the cave
great Scott batman, since when did we get pulled into this?
Ask her if she has a pig. If she does, then jump on her pigs back and fly through the cosmos. If not, just slap her in the face.