Twilight and Trixie go through the adventure of life together, the other as their sister. Things go smooth for both mares, but as fillies their lives are more than unusual. While Trixie fights homework, school work, everything else that involves work, as well as her mother, Twilight stands alone as a golden child. More often than not, the sweet alumna sees herself saving Trixie from trouble around every corner. As Trixie lives life to the fullest, exploiting her sister for everything she could, Twilight prefers the quiet way, keeping Trixie in line as best she could.
Chapters (12)
It's good I say.
but atleast she got out
I’m a student at Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorn
she just kept scream for me to go away
1. Forgot your spacing here.
2. Unicorns.
3. Screaming.
The premise of this story is very interesting and I also noticed that you used the terms everyone, someone and so on, but that would be your preference correct? Just wondering.
On another note;
It's not really the sentence that kinda gets me but the method Trixie did. I don't really know much but wouldn't these Piggy Banks have a hole at the bottom where you can easily take the money out? Just wondering.
Not bad, not great. Expand on details, make the idea's more flushed out, and why in Fronds name do the ponies know about Luna? Only Twilight, the ultimate bookworm with access to tomes from every period of time knew who she was. Also, flush out their conversation more please, they seem to talk as if they were a computer program, heavily stilted.
I like this, really. But fire your editor. He's an idiot. Get a new one.
great first chapter!
nice to see the finished form of the chapter. i have to say though, TLL; you work fast!
1650212 Would you mind spreading the word? My other readers don't exactly follow my blogs.
1650269
sure, i can mention it to those i know. the quickest way though; is probably just to add it to groups and give it time. you can also go with shameless advertisement through your other story!
edit: the last part of the description is a little misleading btw ("This is how I got accepted into Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns and declined."). it implies that she's not in the school during the story.
Is it possible to have Trixie and Twilight in a story....WITHOUT SHIPPING?!
THIS IS AWESOME!
Not that I really expect answers, but what is this? Spell gone wrong (again)? Celestia trolling? Something that's somehow the Cutie Mark Crusaders' fault? It's really cool, but I have no clue what's going on. Actually, that's probably intentional since now I want to read the rest. So, good job.
1650425 Yes, it is Alternate Universe.
1649523
To address this particular comment, it's a common dramatic convention to show a piggy bank being smashed - it's a much more dramatic (if destructive) way to get the money out. Given that Trixie's doing it, it strikes me as massively in character...
1650402
Hey, I've done that too. Not the same level of "sisterhood" there is here, there's no adoption, but certainly the two of them growing up as best friends.
1650433 Awesome.
1650433 Hmm... true enough. Though I guess to me, it's just a waste to break it when it can still be used. Such a pity really.
1650466 I say again. This IS Trixie. The pony whose flair for drama exceeds her capacity for common sense.
And, actually, it might well make MORE sense in the MLP verse than here. Because of mending spells.
1650438 It's been fun writing Trixie and Twilight interacting when they're both a lot like their canon selves. Trixie's bombastic, sarcastic and overly dramatic, while Twilight's also sarcastic but in a much more subdued way.
So, say...
"Silence, minion."
With a quick application of telekinesis, Twilight retrieved a notebook from a small bag. "Minion. That's a new one. Certainly better than the one you tried when we were twelve. I mean, guylight?"
"Silence! Trixie thought boys were icky then." She blushed slightly.
1650496 I lol'd.
I look forward to reading that.
Interesting premise so far. You have my attention, good sir.
1650500
'tis here.
http://www.fimfiction.net/story/11840/1/Another-Kind-of-Magic/
1650519 I found it, faved it and commented!
Holy mother of god that first chapter is long though. It might take a while for me to get to it.
1650519>>1650500 Hey you two, this my fanfic, not yours. And stop cluttering my chat, I kind of want to leave the like bar higher than the comment numbers.
1650525 my apologies.
Wow, dislike already, anyone care to explain why?
I'd like to see Shining Armor appear in this... maybe for a surprise revelation that he and Twilight are related. Separated when their parents died maybe? It would make for an interesting scene to say the least. Also, you got Trixie and Twilight rather well, considering the circumstances. I wonder if... oh my... now I'm just horrified at the thought...
What if Twilight's flare in response to RD's rainboom... is the reason she is an orphan?
oh fuck
i've been waiting forever for somebody to do a story where twilight and trixie are sisters
awesome
so awesome
Haven't read it but is good.
I take it that Twilight is in the school but is not Celestia's personal student this go around. I can not wait to find out what the rest of the differences from cannon will be. Did anypony get turned into a tree/cactus? Spike/no Spike?
)
I do not know how much Twilight has changed but Trixie seems to have changed for the better. (no speaking in third person thank Celestia
It is well worth a fav and upvote.
For some reason, I just got a sudden urge to:
Step 1: Enter the universe of your story.
Step 2: Borrow the Doctor's Tardis.
Step 3: Go back in time.
Step 4: Find and enter the orphanage mentioned.
Step 5: Find Twily and hug her.
Anyone else felt the same?
You know, I think - from reading the overview - that this will be an excellent story and will treat it as such. Liked, faved, and followed good sir
That's 13 tabs open now that I have to read soon.
1649523 Don't forget around the 29th Paragraph the last word should have been tests not testes (its an honest mistake in plurality, but I got stuck there for awhile)
I did see another error somewhere earlier than that, but I can't remember where.
Other than that it looked like it was clean.
To the author:
Good job and I can't wait to see where this goes. About time we had a story where Trix isn't just a mean mare, but instead shows care.
1650570 I got nothing on that 1 dislike, but I am the 50th Like if that means anything.
I'm watching this closely. My heart has been warmed by the beginning, with sisterly love, and then......... I'm shutting up now, before I get into emotional statements. Liked and fav'ed, as it is SO worth reading. As for you, good sir/madam whichever you happen to be, take these, and spend them wisely, for you get only twenty of them.
1650877
i1300.photobucket.com/albums/ag83/TrollestiaSubject/Gak/mlfw4817-13367333375690.png
Well, i have been waiting for a story where Discord is the real father of Twilight, but I haven't been so lucky
Well this is awesome! I gotta say I love the whole premise of this story, and I'm looking forward to future chapters.
Excellent. MOAR PLEASE!!!
Wait a minute... this isn't Twixie! This isn't Twixie at all!
Lol, it's good to see something new with these two. I think I can count the stories where Twilight and Trixie are sisters on one hand.
I'm looking forward to seeing where you'll go with this story, I think it has a lot of potential
I find this a tad repetitive- "Azure mare" is written fifty-two times- and I also believe it's lacking in any real dialogue.
1651004 my very own (unreleased) Artifacts is not quite that...but it's reasonably close. You know what they say, nature abhors a vacuum. If you don't see the story, write it yourself.
Well it looks like Twilight is in desperate need of a hug, as usual. Umma go out on a limb and say Twilight's so good to her sister out of gratitude for rescuing her from the Dickensian Orphanage
good 1st chapt capt
wow, this is mindblowingly original, it's been a bit since i've seen an idea as original as this. please keep going i look forward to this.
Liked and tracking. Great premise, but you should look at getting another editor. not necessarily replacing the other one, just getting another pair of eyes on this so that it not only is spelled correctly but sounds correct to.
1649523 Old Piggie banks didn't have holes in the bottom; it was to make sure that if someone wanted to take money out of the bank, it's permanent. It gives storing money a larger sense of responsibility in hindsight. However, it wasn't very practical if someone needed like, just a quarter, and besides, the bank would turn into a pile of dangerous shards afterwards.
1649939
Buck you, I'm going to be here for a loooooong time so get used to it.
1651900 Then at least learn grammar and spelling.
1651832
Buck you, too. so what? I was having a bad day. The next one will be just fine, you'll see.
1651908
dude, you don't know how much she did for the chapter, and she doesn't have to capture EVERYTHING every damn time.
1651924 True, but I'm a douche who complains about every little thing ever. And why the hell is there a cat on top of my goddamn monitor? You get to explain that one.
1651939
you can complain all you like, but you can at least be civil about it...you called her an idiot without any premise other than that you found a few small mistakes...
1651832
I guess another set of eyes wouldn't hurt, though... Sorry for saying buck you...