Two of A Kind
One Year Later...
Boing, Boing, Boing
Twilight excitedly tramplended on a firm mattress, beaming as wide as her puffy cheeks would allow without strain, and showcased two perfect rows of pearly whites. The silk bow in her mane bounced in the same motion, as her coat shone with an extra sparkle just for this momentous day.
Boing, Boing, Boing
She ran through her mental checklist of things needed to be accomplished, thinking over each chore with care and made sure they were executed with precision. ‘Wake up: check! Eat breakfast: check! Brush mane and teeth: check! Pack saddle bag: check! Bring a pear for the teacher: check! Wake up mom: in process!’
Boing, Boing, Boing
Dancing her happy little jig, she rustled the neat mystique bed sheets overlaying the bed, gaining a slight stir from the unicorn she was jumping on. Moonlight had been awake for quite some time — from the moment she entered the room to when Twilight tried her best to stick to the shadows and stay hidden, Moonlight knew her daughter’s presence was apparent. She lied still, enjoying the cushiness of a warm bed in the morning.
Boing, Boing, Boing
The vigorous bouncing persisted, but Moonlight didn’t mind. Her eager filly was always the early bird of the early birds, a great and reliable trait she was glad Twilight had. In the first year of private tutelage, Twilight already mastered advance mathematics, five different analogies of chemistry, and capable leadership skills — not that the subject needed much work. Magic however, was discussed and dropped. The end results were... more than unexpected.
Boing, Boing, Boing
‘Huh,’ Moonlight sighed. She kept her eyes closed, but slowly uncurled the comforting warm covers with a flicker of telekinesis, revealing her tidy fur coat, which was somehow unaffected by bed hair. Her mane was still magically conditioned, resting peacefully on her alicorn feathered pillows. Moonlight in troubled thoughts, had turned to her right side and now had a sore in her neck. Progressively, Twilight’s bouncing came to a standstill, the wait for the best day of her life nearly here and all that was required was to wake her mother from slumber.
“Come on Mom! Wake up! Pretty pwease!” begged Twilight. She crept closer to her seemingly still asleep mother and used her tiny hooves to gently give Moonlight a shove. Finding her endeavors fruitless, Twilight tried another approach. Crawling under Moonlight’s front hooves, Twilight nuzzled her mother’s bare chest and half succeeded in wrapping her into an embrace. Instead, Twilight hugged her Moonlight’s rigid neck as it was all her tiny hooves were capable of reaching.
Noticing the subtle gesture, the urge to resist Twilight grew unbearable. A sigh of defeat escaping, Moonlight returned the embrace, enfolding Twilight closely with her hooves. The passivity she wore melted away for a delighted smile, as she brought the small filly closer to her for a gentle caress. She slowly ran a hoof through Twilight’s mane, feeling its delicate textures until she reached the filly’s back, which Moonlight continued a gentle rubbing motion on. She never trusted any clock but her own, and her internal clock said it was too early to leave bed with something so nice and warm cuddling to you.
She levitated the covers back on, sweeping the hyperactive lassie into complete darkness. “Twilight,” she calmly spoke, “What time is it?” Moonlight already knew, but used the occasion to test one of Twilight’s new developing skills.
“Ninth hour after the night meridian, thirty-four minutes past, and twenty-six seconds.” Twilight answered.
“Well done,” Moonlight complemented proudly. ‘Only a few microseconds off this time. You’re getting there Twilight.’
“Come-on-Mom-it’s-the-first-day-of-school! Get-up!” begged Twilight again.
“Twilight, school won’t start for another seven hours. For once, I think you’ve earned yourself the right to sleep in past sunrise. You’re still a filly, and to be up this early is bad for your health. Don’t you think I deserve sleep as well?” asked Moonlight.
“...Hehehe...” giggled Twilight sheepishly. “Sorry Mom...”
“It’s alright. I can understand that you must be excited for your first day of school, but don’t get too hyped up over something you’ll likely forget by the time you’re my age,” reminisced Moonlight. She breathed a dull sigh and hugged Twilight twice as hard.
“You’re not old, Mom. You have the figure of a supermodel! And you’re not as stuck up and snooty. I can barely understand what they say most of the time with how thick some of their accents can be. Her high pitch voice rang of joy and silliness, with Moonlight joining her.
Twilight’s petite hooves began loosening its filial grip on Moonlight as drowsiness caved in. The sugar rush-like energy the excited filly had been running on drifted away, the fluffiness of the bed and her mother, soothing her young mind. Twilight gave a groggy shake of her head to stiff away the need for sleep, only to have brush against Moonlight comforting coat. Her effort to keep droopy eyes from sealing shut was a losing battle, one she didn’t mind losing.
“...I love you Mum...*Yawn*” murmured the sleepy filly. Her resistance to slumber grew more sluggish as Moonlight continued to nestle her. The wanting instinct to go to school at three in the morning melted away, forming the lucid plains of the dreamscape.
“...Can you... can you walk with me to school?...Please?” asked Twilight. The little request turned into a plea, as her mind wrapped around the new ponies she had to face and possible make ‘friends’ with.
“I can’t always be there to hold your hoof, Twilight. There are things you’ll have to face on your own — things where I can only point you in the right direction-” Her speech of encouragement was interrupted as Twilight did what she did best when begging just wasn’t enough. Using the drowsy of sleep to an advantage, she retreated her hooves and curled to a small ball. She nuzzled against the unicorn’s abdomen, burrowing against the radiant fur.
“Plwasssse?” begged Twilight. The effects of sleep hindering her speech only stretched on the torture that was begging from a daughter. Twilight could easily manipulate ethos within ponies for her own wants and gains, the only problem: she could never best her teacher.
A youthless foalhood ripped away any kind of emotions for Moonlight, the strands of her psyche barely hung onto. Seeing Twilight attempt it added to the growing pride she had for the filly. Yes, she was a heartless wretch, but it didn’t hurt to play along. “Twilight, I’ll walk you the distance to the outer grounds and you’ll walk the rest to the school. Deal?”
A quiet snore erupted from Twilight, which Moonlight took as a yes to the contention. The elder unicorn arched her larger body, wrapping around the little bundle. She nuzzled Twilight’s puffy cheeks, and planted sweet gentle kisses on her forehead. The sleepy gaze the filly wore was accompanied by her adoring smile, one that told Moonlight her daughter was having pleasant dreams.
Unfortunately, Moonlight lost the need to sleep many moons ago, yet the hinderance in the enjoyment of her daughter’s company was never evident. Hours on ends, she would lay awake, listening. To what, she didn’t know, just that she had to be aware. It was during night that she found her personal heaven, an exact time under Luna’s shine that everything stood still — a literal moment of silence.
|~|~|~|~|~|
All that could be heard was her own rapid pants and quiet snivels. Surrounding her was midnight’s calm air, and a flushing blood red crimson shine from Luna. The cloudless sky allowed the imprisoned goddess to hold her children close and far, the twinkling beauties connected with one another to form astro constellations of different meaning in all directions.
Her dark coat easily covered any very real evidence of blackened bruises, as her quivers were matched in intensity with her hatred; hatred for her governess; governess and mother, one in the same. The filly’s trembling hooves reached to wipe away her stray tears, only to bump into her swollen cheeks and rekindle the burning pain. Running on sheer self-control, she willed the pain away and dried the droplets that ran from her bloodshot eyes.
The victimized filly held the harsh voice that ridiculed her high and true, her mother’s actions justified. But this wasn’t like last time; last time she was only beaten till she couldn’t stand; this time it was until she started wheezing. Next time, it might end when her mother drew blood or she died, whichever came first.
Swift with his movement, a colt dressed in a well pressed suit offered a blue handkerchief to the weeping filly. He stood tall and protective, hovering above her with worried eyes and a silver platter of bandages and rubbing alcohol. He sat quietly on his haunches, and softly pressed the cloth on the filly’s runny nose. She blew loudly into it, and when done, the gentlecolt wiped away her tears with a new cloth.
“Th-thanks Alfred...” stuttered filly-Moonlight. She tried for a dry smile, only to wince from the pain it caused. She was absolutely sure her cries were limited to only her balcony, but the attentive steward always seem to know more than he let on. “C-can you be gentle with the bandages? P-please? It still hurts...”
“Of course, Miss Lulamoon. I am sorry for any discomfort this may bring, but I need to make sure your bruises heal properly. Would you like some chocolate?” offered ‘Alfred’. His seemingly magical intuition had prepared a large bar of deliciousness, knowing well the results of the poor filly’s sessions with her mother.
“B-but Mother won’t let me have any candy...” protested Moonlight as she continue to tremble.
“Then how about we keep this little secret between us?” asked ‘Alfred’. He cleared his tray of reliable conquincidence and gave the bar of chocolate to his employer's daughter. She hesitantly took it, but gladly accepted the treat. On the first nib, black coco swept her taste buds, filling her with warmth.
The large dose of artificial sugar and flavoring replaced her rapid heart rate of adrenaline with a calming sense of simple foalish pleasure. She never had a sweet tooth, but relished every moment when she could get the contraband.
Instead of a hungry devour, Moonlight ate the chocolate bit by bit, taking crumb size bites to ensure the treat last as long as it could. The likelihood of getting something as precious and delicious as chocolate ever again was zero to none.
“We can always get you more chocolate, Miss Lulamoon; no need to take tiny bites out of it,” spoke the calm butler, gathering away the first aid. He set aside the platter and produced another bar of candy from his suit, giving it to Moonlight.
She gladly accepted the chocolate this time, but noticed a lack of pain. Her eyes wandered to her now fully bandaged body, and looked back to her trusty servant. “You gave me the chocolate so that I wouldn’t notice the pain,” she deduced. The passive earth pony gave a sturdy nod before quietly taking his leave.
“Wait, Alfred,” called Moonlight, “Thanks... For being there, and for the chocolate.”
The moving statue cracked a mild grin, threw a slight nod and checked his pocket watch. He studied the historical clock before clicking it back into his vest. “Miss Lulamoon, if you would like to accompany me, I have an appoint to keep to.”
“Where are we going?” asked Moonlight. She got back on her hooves, which with the butler’s help no longer shook and took a steady stance. She trotted closely to ‘Alfred’, letting him lead the way.
“Just a nice little getaway I found while working here. Come now, we mustn’t be late,” answered ‘Alfred’.
|~|~|~|~|~|
The goddess of the sun arose her celestial body slowly, the blazing star inching its way across the horizontal skyline, painting away for a golden dawn. Luna disappeared into the distant horizon, her children following suit, awaiting for their time.
Bleak sunbeams shrone past the city, casting long shadows of the morn. However, Celestia’s warmth never reached the black castle of the night mistress. Light got as far as to reach the blooming gardens, but stop dead at the front doors. It was indeed, always nighttime eternal at Lulamoon manor.
Moonlight lay awake, snuggling warmly around Twilight’s sleeping form. Her filly not once stirred during slumber, which she tried her best not to disturb with her insomnia. For the past few hours, she thought of her foalhood — if one could call it that — and the trusty butler she still had to this day.
He never once aged a single day in appearance, nor questioned her motives and orders. Even behind her back, she knew ‘Alfred’ would follow her instructions to the letter.
Twelve seconds from now her obnoxious grandmother clock will chime, and she’ll have to get to the day’s work. Another day of looking pretty and backstabbing; not that it wasn’t fun.
Being the lead council-pony had it’s perks — seeing your fellow workers plot behind each other’s backs and bribing you for recognition was a fun pastime. She would often ask ‘Alfred’ to bring her a bucket of popcorn and watch the fireworks — it’s not like politicians get anything done.
As her internal clock would have it, the chimes of gears and bells rang loudly within the dark bedroom. Moonlight’s gentle magic lighted, suppressing all sounds and muffled Twilight’s folded ears. Twilight stirred with little movements, the bells dying in volume as Moonlight’s aura lifted.
The warm covers unfurled themselves with Moonlight’s telekinesis, her magic taking hold of Twilight and lifting her into the air. Moonlight slowly got herself out of her mattress and kept Twilight airborne next to her.
Walking in silence, she approached her nightstand and dresser. There stood and looked back was her reflection, mimicking her mask of impassation. Where morning hair was supposed to be was a lavishly streaked mane, with batting eyelashes that complemented her daunting magenta eyes. It was a blessing, doubling as a curse. She could look like a flawless beauty, while in reality she felt like drop dead — gorgeous and doing.
Breathing a low exhausted sigh, she donned her effects and dispelled the levitating aura surround Twilight. The sleeping filly lowered onto Moonlight’s back, barely noticing the change of scenery.
Her hooves hung limply around Moonlight, as she was balanced perfectly without the need of magic to be held steady. Walking as diligent as possible, she took the long way leading to a private dining hall.
Each step she took, Twilight’s stirring increased till she finally woke. Away from dreamland, Twilight gave a groggy yawn and blinked repeatedly to get her bearings. Shaking off any drowsiness that resided, Twilight rolled to her side to get back onto her hooves.
Finding herself filled with tire, she tried to rub the rest of the sleepiness out of her eyes. As her persistence to stay awake be commended, her wobbly footing gave, causing her to crash into the nearby unicorn. Twilight sat up on her haunches, fighting off slumber with will and determination. Her schedule to be kept on time, Moonlight whispered assistance.
On que, a grizzling earth pony showed without any indication he was in the vicinity. Giving a silent request with just a nod, Moonlight expelled vast mana from her horn, beaming herself to a distant room within the castle.
“Good morning Miss Twilight. Rough night?” asked ‘Alfred’. He gently walked to the sluggish filly, with his usual silver platter of mystery.
“Nice to see you too, Alfred. Do you have anything strong?” inquired Twilight. She could just see the outline of the butler, but know his presence anywhere.
“I am sorry Miss Twilight, but you are too young for coffee,” answered ‘Alfred’. “Would you like to join me for tea, instead?”
“Thanks for the offer, Alfred, I’d love to. Do you have anything for me now? I won’t make it past these halls if I don’t get something into me,” yawned Twilight.
“Would you like some words of advice?” offered ‘Alfred’.
“How will that help me stay awake?” asked Twilight. Before her foggy mind can concentrate, the kind steward lifted her onto his back and began a slow walk to the small dining room.
“Do you believe in fate Miss Twilight?”
“By fate, you mean a series of coincidence that seem to happen in chronological order, where said recipient cannot change the outcome to a more desirable one?” restated Twilight.
Not surprised by her answer, he responded, “There are things that logic will not help you in, Miss Twilight. Reason shall only get you so far before you must rely on another source for making decisions.”
“You’re talking about making friends, aren’t you?” concluded Twilight. She felt the subtle nod that ‘Alfred’ gave and thought further why he would do such a thing. “You want me to go to school today and make friends?”
“Indeed, and I must request that you keep Miss Lulamoon from making bad decisions. She isn’t the best with her choice of friends, and I fear it might come back and bite her if something isn’t done. May I be so bold as to ask of that from you, Miss Twilight?”
“Don’t worry Alfred, I’ll look after Trixie. You can count on me!” cheered Twilight. Refilled with her usual high tempo spunk, Twilight hopped off the earth pony’s back and sprinted ahead. She bustled through a set of swing doors, but found herself the second runner. She looked to the nearest table and saw ‘Alfred’ sitting calmly on his chair.
“Care for a spot of tea, Miss Twilight?” asked the Trottingham. He gracefully poured steaming Jasmine into two chinas and set down the kettle.
“H-how did you...” stuttered the second-comer. The non-magical magician remained in his reserved mood and offered the other cup to Twilight as she took the opposing seat. Wrapping a butter knife in her telekinesis, Twilight took a freshly baked scone and covered it with mulberry jam. Sprinkling dashes of powdered sugar onto it, she took her first bite of pure bliss.
The moist fluffy dough smothered in the sweet paste appeased all of Twilight’s watering taste buds, even her contained sweet tooth took a moment to enjoy itself. Slowly finishing the rest of the pastry, ‘Alfred’ left the table and returned back with two bowl and a box of cereal. He gave Twilight the box to let herself pour how much she wanted to eat and left again for a carton of milk.
“Are you going to eat as well, Alfred?” asked Twilight. She carefully measured the correct ratio of cereal to milk — a good portion of five to eight. As the sounds of oats clang against the alablaster china, the double doors swung open.
In walked a yawning filly with a rumbling belly that could shake mountains. Her rustled mane was a rat’s nest and had crusted eyes that drooped like her mood. Trixie strided along with a limp like her legs were still asleep, while avoiding any source of light that came in contact. She looked like a hangover and being sober wasn’t her forte.
She groaned and took her seat next to Twilight. The butler was quickly at work preparing her breakfast: coconut oats with toast points and freshly squeezed orange juice. Topping the drink off with a tiny umbrella and sliced lemon, he returned to the table and served the the sleepy filly her morning wakeup call.
“You look terrible.” It was the biggest understatement of Twilight’s life so far, and tipping the iceberg was Trixie’s foul mood.
“Huuuuuh....” Trixie frowned and took a spoon in her magic. Whisking the sugary flakes into in her mouth, she chewed as obnoxiously as possible and left table manners in whatever hellhole she forgot them in.
“Come on, I’ll help you get ready. When was the last time you brushed your mane?” questioned Twilight. The grunt she got in response meant somewhere between last month or last year, the latter most accurate. “Well, we have just under an hour and a half before school starts. Have you packed your saddle bags yet?”
“Huh...” She barely groaned.
“Ok, have you bathed yet?”
“Huh...” She gave a delayed shrug.
“Have you done anything on the morning checklist I gave you?”
“Huh...” She raised her spoon and took another bite.
“Brush your teeth?”
“Huh...” She munched slowly on her cereal.
“Wash your mane?”
“Huh...” She took a sip of her orange juice.
“Did you sleep?”
“Huh...” She took a bite on her toast points.
“You want to skip school today?”
“Huh...” She finished her cereal before it got soggy and drank the last of the juice.
“Alfred, I think Trixie’s broken, again.”
“I’m not broken. And keep the noise down... You’re giving me a headache...”
“What happened? Did you drink too much kewl-aid?”
“No, I found Starshine’s whiskey cabinet.”
“Oh...Uh...”
“I didn’t drink any if that’s what you’re thinking. I needed an alcohol basis to extract the deoxyribonucleic acid from the kidneys and then convert it into simple amino-proteins. Fifty year old scotch, what a shame.” Trixie said, shaking her head. She nervously turned to Twilight and smiled weakly, “I did spill some on my workbook, so I just copied yours-”
“Hey!”
“You would’ve let me copied it anyways, permission or not. I had to stay up all night finishing my lab-”
“You mean copying mine?”
“No, I actually did the project... I just compared our work when I was done, not technically copying-”
“Yea, it’s cheating now.”
“So what?! Can’t I just eat my toast points in peace?” shouted Trixie defensively. She quietly grumbled under her breath and ate the rest the triangular bread. Her acussive sister backed away from the argument before anything heated and returned to her plain cereal. “What kind of school gives homework before the first day anyways?!”
“A private school, Trixie,” reminded Twilight. She dantly slurped the rest of the milk and wiped away any mess she caused. ‘Alfred’ cleaned the table and chinas as both fillies finish, quietly taking leave afterwards.
“Yes, now I remember. I’m going to be locked inside a large calcium carbonate building for six hours with rich snooty foals that haven’t worked a single day in their lives and doesn’t know the the meaning of a bit. I am so glad to be forced into this school.”
“No need for the sarcasm, I get it; you don’t want to go to private school. But just think of all the science we’ll get to learn! And math, magic, history, chemistry, astrophysics-”
“You’re not really helping your case. I lost you at school. Name one thing fun about learning and I’ll go upstairs and get ready right now. Teachers: boring. Books: boring. Learning: boring. I’ll die of boredom before Mom gets me.”
“She isn’t out to get you, you know. Give her some credit at least.”
“You ever ask her for a pet Twilight?”
“No. I’ll probably forget to feed it right after I get one.”
“Well, lucky you. Do you know what she got me when I asked for a goldfish?”
“A ponyo?”
“Ha! I wish. She got me a Sea Pony that sang show tunes.”
“A Sea... Pony? That’s... umm...”
“Yea, guess what she got me when I asked for a puppy.”
“A puppy?
“Nope!” Trixie snapped. “A Diamond Dog, although Rover did know how to play fetch, so I guess it wasn’t totally bad. I asked for a stuff teddy bear, you know what I got instead?”
“An Ursa Minor?”
“An Ursa Mi- Wait, how did you know?
“Hehe... Lucky guess?”
“I asked for a potted plant.”
“You got a Timberwolf.”
“I asked for an iguana.”
“You got a draken.”
“You get the idea. Never ask Mom for anything and not expect repercussions. I’m afraid of what she’ll get me if I ask for something as simple as a cupcake.”
“Come on Trixie, it isn’t that bad. I would love to have a dragon as a pet. It’d certainly make life more interesting, that’s for sure.”
“You couldn’t get your head out of the books long enough to feed one. It’ll likely starve to death while you read away.”
“Care to make a wager?”
“Name the terms then, guv'na.”
“What’s with the Trottingham accent?”
“I don’t know. It just sounded more official.”
“Well,” said Twilight. She magicked parchment and a quill from thin air, along with a silver bottle ink. Twilight dipped the quill into the special ink and wrote the outline of the contract. Written in arcandian runes, the binding magic glowed the forgotten language, threatening to burn the entire page. Surrounding candles were levitated to the old paper, as Twilight drew in wax a reddish pentagram. Placing each candle on the vertices of the star, she placed the parchment into the center.
“Is the pentagram really necessary? I mean, this isn’t exactly dark magic.”
“Shhh! You’re ruining my mojo. The usual agreement?”
“Let’s make things more things more interesting. Loser has to be the other’s slave for... hmm... three months. And there is no renegotiating the contract or backing out. If you fail to keep said dragon in perfect health of body and mind, I get the dragon.”
“How about we stop treating the dragon like an object and like a living being. We have to keep him happy, and we let him decide who’s the victor.”
“Eh, fine. This should be interesting enough.” Trixie’s aura wrapped around the quill and signed on the dotted lines. On the bottom, she stamped her hoofprint and levitated the contract to Twilight.
“I’ll ask Mom tonight for a dragon,” said Twilight, signing the parchment herself. She cast a duplication spell and gave Trixie the other copy. “Come on, let’s untangle that mane of yours and we can get ready for school. I don’t want to be late.”
“Mind carrying me? My legs are sore and I’m feeling kinda lazy right now,” asked Trixie sheepishly.
“How tense are they?”
“Tensor than a linear relation between vectors.”
“Geez! You are tense! Why didn’t you tell me earlier? Alright, I’ll help,” agreed Twilight. She hopped her chair and trotted to Trixie, helping her out the cushion and walked her to their room instead of the usual teleport.
|~|~|~|~|~|
“We’re-late, we’re-late, we’re-late! Why-did-I-let-you-talk-me-into-getting-some-donuts?!” shouted Twilight hurriedly. She rushed through a spiraled hallways, paintings of headmasters and mistress every-corner, while her chompers were tightly holding onto Trixie’s tail.
“Twi- I ca- wal- on my ow- STOP!” bellowed Trixie, the pony ragdoll. Only after teleporting herself free, and onto Twilight squishing her did Trixie get her impatient sister to stop. Underneath a squirming filly tried to fiddle her way out and failed miserably as Trixie used Twilight’s weakness against her: anything involving physical exertion.
“Trixie! Get off! We’re going to be LATE!!!” yelled Twilight angrily, flailing her hooves wildly like a rabid beast and almost growling her words.
“Yes, because an hour early is ‘late’. I completely understand how time works like that; early means late and late means early. I just love your way of telling time Twilight, it’s so accurate!”
“You can cut the sarcasm anytime now, I get it. Now get off! You’re crush my costae fluitantis and middle vertebrates. Layoff the donuts, please!” pleaded Twilight as she suffocated.
“Hmm, almost forgot about the donuts. Want one Twi?” asked Trixie, opening up a brown bag her magic was wrapped on. Looking inside, she had a little more than a baker’s dozen, enough to be evenly split.
“Chocolate sprinkles please...” She admitted sheepishly. A chocolate smothered donut with flaky rainbow sprinkles was levitated to Twilight before she greedily devoured it a matter of seconds. Calming down, Trixie eventually got off the huffing squirm below her, which Twilight expelled a breath of relief for.
“Well, since you dragged me here an hour early, what do you want to do?” asked Trixie, storing the diabeetus treats into microspace.
“We could visit the professor; he should be here by now even if we are early.”
“Just because we’re here early doesn’t mean I’ll turn into a teacher’s pet like you.”
“Alright. I can always pass the time with a lecture about the second law of thermodynamics.”
“Wait! I change my mind—”
“Which states that entropy of an isolated system never decreases because isolated systems spontaneously evolve towards thermodynamic equilibrium — you know, the state of maximum entropy. And let’s not forget that a change in the entropy of a system is the infinitesimal transfer of heat to a closed system driving a reversible process, that is then divided by the equilibrium temperature of the system.”
“Twi... please don’t do that EVER again. My head hurts now...” ‘And the scary part is that I understood all that...’ moaned Trixie, rubbing her temples. The urge to bang her head against the wall soon became a good idea, but she refrained.
“Shall we visit the professor then? Or would you like another lecture on the zeroth law of thermodynamics. Perhaps my theories on the antisymmetric matrix?”
“Please, don’t... Let’s just go... Before I decided I rather be stupid like a barbarian boor,” begged Trixie desperately. The wicked smile Twilight wore almost reminded her of Moonlight’s satisfaction, the same crazed victory grin that drove her nuts to ever witness. “Stop that! Y-you’re giving me the creeps...”
“Come on, I’m sure a few other classmates will be there as well,” said Twilight taking lead. Trixie sluggishly followed behind, trying to shake off the information overload that flowed through her cerebral-cortex. They trotted in idle chat, Twilight quizzing Trixie on preliminary trivia about the Roaman Era. They stop at an old-style door that rounded the end of the hallway. On the stained window, written in bold letters was the current professor.
“Doctor Whooves, Head Professor of Everything,” read Twilight. She stared with mild confusion while Trixie complained.
“That is the most redundant title I have ever heard.”
“Yea? Wait until he makes you write out your name.”
“What about my name?”
“Your full name,” snickered Twilight.
“...I hate you so much right now...” grumbled Trixie.
“Love you too, Sis,” returned Twilight.
She opened the door with telekinesis and walked inside, followed closely by Trixie. As their eyes adjusted to the dusty room, the first impression was a homage look of old-school. The classical feel of the oakwood gave Twilight a comforting vibe, as she observed the lined formation of single row student desks that all faced an aged chalkboard.
Trixie gagged on the floating dust mites, causing her to sneezed a cloud storm. Unaffected, Twilight sniffed for that familiar scent of forgotten textbook musk combined with dried up ink stains. Breathing a long sigh of dreaminess, Twilight looked to the pony closest to them. A dark caramel earth pony quietly scribed a quick history of Starswirl’s accomplishments, taking point from a brown tome.
He had a timeturner cutie mark that match identical to his double helix sand timer sitting on his desk. The tiny grains seemed to have been in stasis — seemingly floating in a spacial void — as if time were at a standstill. Set closely next to the sandrunner was a strange blue apparition in the shape of a small rectangle, on it bold illegible letters were printed.
All was silent, except for the clicks of newton balls and chalk on a hard surface, the two approached the strange teacher. “Rather early, is it not?” he asked, keeping his focus on the chalkboard.
“Told you,” mumbled Trixie hoofing Twilight in the ribs.
Ignoring her sister Twilight retorted, “I’m not a timewalker.” The tapping on the chalkboard stopped as the professor turned to face his new student.
“Clever girl,” complemented the Doctor. “Why don’t you two introduce yourselves to your new classmate in the back?” He returned to his scribing as the the two looked towards the back of the room.
“I can’t believe there’s actually someone earlier than you,” whispered Trixie. She looked to her record-holding sister, and met Twilight’s first struggle to keep her emotions in check. “Are you... jealous?”
“No,” answered Twilight blandly, “Just curious.” Both set of eyes locked to a magic held tome, obscuring their view of the reader. They walked to the mysterious student, who never paid heed as they approach. They both stopped short of their possible new friend, Trixie in a daze and Twilight impatient.
Meticulously inspecting, Twilight noted that her competition was a studious filly, with dead-point focus that rivaled her own. Trained to detail natural from tryhard, she jotted down another quality that could best hers, a high frequency leyline and spiritual matrix that equally matched.
She could literally feel the essence of another, their actual soul, and Twilight got the hint that the opposing filly could easily sense her protrusion. Both of their magics novaed with other, expelling vast celestial amounts of mana, fighting for dominance. The eventually build up of cosmic auras bashing caused a literal jolt of electricity to bounce between them.
While Twilight inspected the newcomer magically, Trixie looked at her regal appearance. From top to bottom, the arcadian shone like a crystal pearl, a ghostly white that wasn’t bland enough to be pale, yet gleamed with mystical stardust that floated into non-existence once separated from its host.
Braided into her mane and tail were pointed stars that were colour coded with her fur, making it extremely difficult to distinguish them besides their basic outlines. Her mane looked of pure silk, sparkling like the night’s canvas. Long and combed to hang at her side, it shrouded half of her face, the tip nearly touching the ground.
The strangest part were her eyes, a tranquil lustrous turquoise. As if she couldn’t make up her mind, the color shifted constantly from light to dark, keeping the true color a mystery. She had a special glisten in those glossy gems that Trixie recognized as practiced exquision and poise. Astonishing as an alicorn, her cutie mark itself stood above all else.
Across her body, she was spotted with tiny specks of starlets that contrasted against her curving spirals. The silver swirls encircled all her hooves and reached as far as her neck and eyes. Atop, her ignited horn glowed like her turquoise gems, until Trixie recognize something out of place. She had a silver horn that looked sharp enough to be used as a spear with magic just as lethal.
Rolling up her manuscript, she began her own inspection of her classmates. Trixie was barely given a glance, but she kept her divine attention on the violet counterpart. Twilight returned the glare, looking profusely into the filly’s deep ores, focusing on her and nothing else.
“Hai, my name is Silver Swirl, although ponies call me Achlys.”
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And is a stuck up ***** yep.
Silver Swirl/ Achlys
I could easily be wrong but ...
turquoise eyes, vast power (at least equal to Twilight), skill and knowledge (once again equal to Twilight),
:detectivepinkie: "hmmmmm"
If it wasn't for the author's note i would have Assumed that she was Celestia in disguise. (and she may still be if Celestia wanted to check up on the education children were given in her school.) This is kinda assuming that the private school they are in is Celestia's school for gifted unicorns and Twilight has already passed the entrance exam (possibly hatching Spike, i do not know if Spike exists in this universe).
Wow..... Twi can change the life of anypony she enters into.....
Love to see more into the life changes in the Lulamoon family.
Please kill Achlys
now
It's ironic how I want to now keep my comments short but then a chapter like this one pops up and forces me to toss that idea out the window. What I'm trying to say is that this is going to be long so get some popcorn folks. This chapter is technically fine. From a technical standpoint there is not much wrong however, from an overarching story point there are a few problems. Before I get into my criticism, let me just say that I don't hate the story or what you've done thus far. There are just some potential problems that could turn a very good story into something bad. Also the loss of your editor is a really sad thing as speaking from experience losing someone who you can bounce ideas off sucks terribly and can sometimes slow things down a bit and to that I am sorry. My best wishes that you can find an awesome editor in the future. Now that the pleasantries are done, on to the pain-I mean criticism, yes criticism.
Why is this here? By that I mean, why is this pop culture reference here and why is it said by filly Twilight who would know nothing of what that is or means? The way the reference is inserted it comes off as being "A Big Lipped Alligator Moment". Now I don't normally have an issue with pop-culture references provided that a) the right character says them and b) it fits within both the context of the story and its tone. This reference here more or less fails on all accounts. To be honest, it's not really funny. Like a jump scare it pops outs, screams "Oogie Boogie Boo", then fades away never to be heard of or spoken of again. I bring this up because I've seen this happen before in other stories; where the writer tests the waters with a joke to see if it's funny. If so, they add more of them over the course of the story to the point where by the end, the story that was originally there is gone and in its place is a series of jokes at the story's expense. It's a sad fate for a story to simply die not due to lack of interested readers but because the writer themselves kill it by forgetting what the story was originally about. I hope that this story does not also suffer the same fate because it's perfectly fine without forced on jokes.
Another problem with the chapter I can sum up with the following phrase: "How do you know this?" The entire first part before Trixie reenters the scene can be summed up by that one phrase, or to be more precise how does Trixie know about the events that she wasn't there for? I know the easiest response would be that both parties eventually told her this information but to that ask why would they? Neither would have a real reason to do so given how long it takes before the various rivalries Trixie has with each disappears. In the previous chapter, we see the beginning signs that Trixie is starting to become envious of Twilight not only for being more powerful than her but also for stealing her family and inheritance away from her. Considering that their family is operating on 18th century high society social norms here, her frustration and anger at seeing her birthright being passed to Twilight Sparkle-a poor orphan nobody-is quite justified since as anyone who's studied this kind of thing will tell you it is not a common thing for the eldest sibling to be passed over for the youngest, especially an adopted one without a very good reason. In this case, while Twilight is powerful it only seems as though she's getting special treatment by Moonlight only to antagonize Trixie in their long standing feud that exists for some reason; a reason that has yet to be fully defined. My point is that I have a hard time believing that both sisters are still chummy after one year's time when you consider the fact that Trixie has a real reason for wanting to see Twilight have a series of unfortunate accidents that make her ineligible to inherit the Lulamoon title. Speaking of a year's time, why has Twilight's demeanor changed, by that I mean why is she boastful and dare I say borderline bratty in a manner reminiscent of Diamond Tiara? Also what happened to Trixie's jealousy? I can assume Twilight's change has to do with being privately tutored by Hera but a year's time is pretty fast to change from innocent naive little filly to snarky, smarty-pants, manipulative, boaster who has no qualms of using said knowledge to get what she wants. She tries to manipulate her own adopted mother to do what she wants and even baits Trixie into both signing a contract and to showing up to school early with her else she'll use knowledge against her. And while we're on the subject, when did this story start including demonic-like contracts? Are they going to sacrifice a small foal to summon Nightmare? I get it the whole scene was for laughs but when dealing with dark magic in a world where said dark magic is totally possible, making jokes like that cringe or otherwise can raise a few eyebrows. There's also a problem of Trixie's lack of trying to throw Twilight under a figurative bus despite the fact that Twilight is now by all technicalities future head of the family while Trixie is the penniless freeloader that the family tolerates only because a) she's their biological daughter and b) the backup should anything happen to Twilight. I'm not exactly expecting her to be secretly plotting Twilight's downfall in some dark room in the manor but I am expecting her to be a bit more upset that the adopted sister that she picked out out of kindness and pity is now the golden child, a position that year ago she was expected to hold. If I were in Trixie's position I would be casually searching for social events for which I can get Twilight into situations to where she could potentially embarrass herself at said social events.
Ultimately, what I am getting at is that we're told a lot of information in this chapter that comes across as potentially problematic. One of the big ones being that of perspective. If Trixie is the narrator telling this story, why does this chapter have more third person omniscient bits instead of parts focused around Trixie and what she thinks and feels about situations. I noticed this in the last chapter with the bath scene between Moonlight and Twilight but I was willing to let it be since it was relatively short. That's not the case for this chapter as the third person perspective presented goes into potential plot hole territory. This chapter would have been better if we were seeing things from how Trixie saw the situations. For example, if she were in the room with Moonlight and Twilight when they were sharing their moment but Trixie was in a shadowy corner instead, alone and forgotten whilst her younger sister shares a very intimate moment with the mother she despises. A scene like that would have been perfect as it gives the perfect juxtaposition of the situation all three of them are in-Twilight the now golden child unaware of the pain she is causing her older sister, Moonlight content that she now has the daughter she always wanted, and Trixie the figurative red-headed step child seething away in her corner as she watches her adopted sister take away all that was once rightfully hers. Something like that being in this chapter would have told us more about the characters and their motivations than anything that we are currently presented with. Moreover we're never shown any indication how either of them feels about all this following the time skip. We don't see whether or not Trixie still harbors dark feelings for Twilight, or if Moonlight is really the cold hearted, manipulative mare that she is made out to be (no, the introspective look at her past doesn't count), or if Twilight is naively accepting of Moonlight's affections or is she really enjoying the new found attention she is being given at the expense of what was once owed to Trixie. While I understand that that juxtaposition is what you were going for with the chapter's beginning, what is currently there can create a plot hole when you consider that this is Trixie telling Rarity this story on a train ride to Ponyville.
Before I conclude this long rant, allow me to address the three very large elephants in the room. The first elephant is the techno-jargon. As someone who understands most of what was said in this chapter, allow me to say that for the average everyday reader who may or may not have this knowledge would probably get annoyed with using large words like "costae fluitantis" when just saying "your crushing my back with your heavy bottom" would work just as well. This situation reminds me of the importance of the acronym k.i.s.s. (and I don't mean the band). If the point is for comedy, then the use of large words when simple ones will do seems like something better suited for a satire and not a serious work. The way it is presented here not only makes Twilight seem like a nerdy, boasting, rich brat (which is counter to her established character here) and Trixie her smart but lazy sidekick, but also makes both of them seem unbelievable as child characters since no real child would talk like this-prodigy or otherwise. This is especially jarring when both are capable of speaking like normal real beings and not robots as we see at the breakfast table scene.
The second elephant is that of Twilight's lack of understanding of Canterlot accents but complete understanding of Trottingham ones. This is something that has the dark shadow of both a character continuity problem and a plot hole hovering directly above it since it makes little sense when you consider the fact that (and I can't stress this enough) she has been living in Canterlot her whole life. It become even more problematic when you consider the fact that she has spent a year learning the customs and accents of high society ponies from Satan's Wife herself. To illustrate my point, several years ago went to Ireland for a week and when he returned he a very think Irish accent that took almost a week before it faded. The point is if my friend had an accent after a week a broad, I find it very hard to believe that a filly who has spent her whole life in Canterlot hearing the same accent has a hard time understanding it nearly a year later. The final elephant in the room is the Mary Sue character Silver Swirl. I get it, you want to add conflict for Twilight (in the form of Silver Swirl) the same way that there is conflict for Trixie (in the form of Twilight and Moonlight) but is the addition of a Sue character necessary? I thought that this is a story about how two very different mares became the best sisters they are now and how the eldest of them feels guilty for taking advantage of the supposed kindness of the younger? There was already conflict and an antagonist in the form of familial birthright and a sadist mother who enjoys watching her daughters dance to her tune. The addition of another character whose sole purpose is to make us like Twilight more seems unnecessary and could add to future problems in terms of the ever present (and I really can't stress this one enough) how does Trixie, our narrator, know this? Now, I am not saying that it is impossible for her to know some of this information, what I am saying is that it is impossible for her to know all these specific details, many of which she may or may not be present to witness. Silver Swirl may very well be a good character but do we really need a Mary Sue antagonist triangle when there is already a meaningful familial conflict just sitting there waiting to be used? Or if that isn't the case and Silver Swirl and Twi become buddy-buddy, doesn't Trixie have enough characters to be angry towards?
Overall, from a technical standpoint this chapter is fine but from a story standpoint there are some issues that you might want to consider addressing if only to avoid potential problems down the road. Now if you excuse me, the soap industry is calling, they want their boxes back.
2076817 Well, thanks again for the the huge wall. I normally don't get many of these but it's always fun to read them. As I have said, I just lost my most prized editor, who I immensely rely on to catch these mistakes. As I look for a new one just as good, I fear there will be plot holes here and there. As you have stated, Trixie should be plotting Twilight's downfall. I never said she wasn't, or rather I never showed it. As for the elephants in the room... I'll need to call in a few favours. The first elephant I'll explain now, and yes I got the 'Keep It Simple Stupid' thing. I'll work on that. As for the second, it's just the begining of the time skip. You don't exactly see supermodels in Canterlot. You go to Prance(France) for that. Now for the Mary Sue. Well, I really can't tell you much. Is she neccessary? Yes. And believe it or not, she is not an OC.
2076999
.
That being said this being only the beginning of the time skip there is certainly plenty of room for growth. How everything plays out, well, we'll just have to wait, see, and make lots of guesses.
Well, I wasn't exactly expecting the keys to the literary kingdom just whether or not she would bring more to the table than was already there. And I am aware of her not being an oc. How do I know you ask? I may have spent sometime shopping around for Trixie figurines and may have been looking around for actual name ponies from the show/ toy line and may have came across the name during my search....and I might have a found and bought said Trixie figurine which may be sitting next to my--you know what, yes, I do own a Trixie figurine which is sitting next to my computer. After all, I don't care if a lot of people I know dislike her The Great and Powerful Trixie rocks.
As for the wall of text, I'd be lying if i said I hate noticing these things. Personally, I blame all the enthusiastic English teachers I've had throughout my schooling career for drilling critical reading skills in my head (thankfully a real drill was not used)
As for Trixie's potential descent into becoming Trixie the filly scorned, I suppose the rule of inconclusiveness is applicable here (for those who don't know what that is the rule of inconclusiveness is basically the lack of something being included doesn't mean it does not exist just that it is inconclusive and impossible to definitively argue one way or the other until more information is given) not exactly my favorite rule but I suppose it has it's purpose.
For some reason this is one of the five stories that failed to appear in my new-chapters-box, so I didn't see it before now...
Professor of Everything? Whooves Has a big image of himself.
So you implieing that Achilis is better in Magic than Twilight? Because that is the only thing thats make her special, that she has an unrivaled talent for Magic.
And for your questien...NO never had an Mary Sue in school.
The only one how came close to that was me, never learnd even a second but geting only A grades in everyting (Besides English) . And taht without being a neerd, i was the second Bully in comand ^^
2076999 realy? the only Char with an close name would be Sea Swirl
Well... this explains some of the things I've found.
until she reach the filly’s back
I think you’ve earn yourself the right
Yes, she was heartless wretch
Her dark coat easily cover any very real evidence of blacken bruises
He cleared his tray of reliable conquincidence and give the bar of chocolate to his employer's daughter
On the first nib, black coco sweep her taste buds and filling her with warmth
She gladly accepted the chocolate this time, but notice a lack of pain
Her filly not once stir during slumber
He never once aged a single day in appearance, nor question her motives and orders
she tried to rubbed the rest of the sleepiness out of her eyes
It was the biggest understatement of Twilight’s life so far, and tipping the iceberg was Trixie’s foal mood
she chew as obnoxiously as possible
as she observed the lined formation of single row student desk that all faced an aged chalkboard
A dark caramel earth pony quietly scribe a quick history
who never pay heed as they approach
1. Reached.
)
2. Earned.
3. Was A Heartless (OMG, Keybladez nao!
4. Covered, Blackened.
5. Gave.
6. Swept, Extra And.
7. Noticed.
8. Stirred/Stirring. (I'm lost, both seem right to me)
9. Questioned.
10. Rub.
11. Err... foul?
12. Chewed.
13. Desks.
14. Scribing.
15. Paid.
With all that said, two things which confounded me.
... How? I don't even...
No idea if this was supposed to be Daintily or is an actual word. Tried to google for it, but came up with mixed results.
Onto the next chapter!
I had a Mary Sue like that, we were best friends
Wow. It sucks that your editor left, because it really shows, this chapter. I mean, REALLY shows. Between the misconjugated verbs, the mispluralizations (and missingularizations), and the few head-scratching sentences, you really need to get one. Now, I'm not saying this to be mean, really. You're probably as aware of these problems already. Have you considered pleading your case to one of the proofreader groups here on FiMFiction?
King Sombra's long-lost daughter?
DOCTOR MOTHERBUCKING HOOVES! This fic just got 20%, no, wait, 2000000000% COOLER! IT WAS ALREADY COOL ENOUGH WITH TRIXIE, BUT MOTHERBUCKING DOCTOR MOTHERBUCKING HOOVES!
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I fall over dead after posting this comment. I'm DEAD! YOU'VE KILLED ME!
6315661
Why is everyone so fascinated about him? Hes just a plain character copy of Doctor Who. And somehow pulls bullshit out of his ass for perfect answers.
In most fics anyway.