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Horizon Spark


Writing My Little Pony stories for you so I can one day become an amazing author! Please comment and tell me what you think.

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Trixie has been down on her luck ever since she used the Alicorn Amulet. Considered by many as a laughing stock and a monster, her career as a showmare has been ruined, making her became poor and depressed. But through some unfortunate events, she ended up back in Ponyville where she's forced to stay with her self-proclaimed sworn enemy; Twilight Sparkle.

Twilight is actually happy to have her living with her. Then why does Trixie hate her? And why is she blaming Twilight for her misfortunes?

Chapters (16)
Comments ( 72 )

I am interessted in this story, but i hope this isn´t a story, where Trixie have to do everything others want from her, i am going to read it but i hope she can decide for herself a bit, or no one is going to force something with magic.

If i actually see something like that, i explain again what i really mean.

However, please don´t use less words than in your second chapter.

Okay i already like it that it didn´t was Celestia that forced her to stay with Trixie, and while i am not saying that Trixie should be the one, that has no fault at all, it would be interessting if you would actually write about the things Twilight did wrong as well.

“Please Sparkle, Trixie appreciates what you’ve been doing for her, but she needs no more charity from you. And I don’t want any of your...” Trixie felt her stomach start to rumble violently, which made her blush. “Alright fine, I guess I could go for something small.”

Twilight smiled when she heard this, then went inside the castle. “Then come inside, I’ll cook you up something I know you’ll enjoy.”

“Hmph, I’ll be the judge of that Sparkle.”

Okay what i want is probably a bit complicated, since i liked, and disliked a bit about that one moment.

What i disliked, or what i hope didn´t happened, that Twilight is feeling smug, or that she could start to think, that she would be an expert with Caring for Trixie.

I guess i mean, that i hope that Twilight has her flaws in this story too, everytime she has her special look in the show lately, i get the feeling like she would think, that everything worked exactly like she planned, and like it wasn´t difficult at all, i guess i think it is to easy for her.

I don´t know if you think the same as me, that Trixie never did much to earn all the fault in her first moments in the show, but i actually would like it if Twilight would not act to wise already, if you know what i mean.


I actually like this story till now, i just hope it keeps this chapter length at least, and that Trixie isn´t the only one that has to admit some flaws, Twilight is still new as a princess, and i don´t think that Princess of Friendship makes her an expert for every creature/pony, but don´t worry i don´t think you meant it like that.

I give you an thumb up, but if the romance is between them, i think Twilight should have a brakedown, or a tearful moment as well, she can maybe think faster of a solution for her friendship problems, but she still has to learn about each different pony itself.

That probably explains it better, if you have a question about what i mean, then i explain more, i guess if i write more right now i only repeat myself without your imput.

edit: yes i am a Trixie Fan, don´t know if she is my favourite, but i am a huge fan, as well a Chrysalis fan.

Not wanting to get rained out she quickly gathered herself, then ran as fast and carefully as she could, hoping to find any sort of civilization.

...while pulling her caravan.

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Why didn't she take shelter inside the caravan, which is ostensibly what it's there for? Even if wind was a factor, couldn't she have used basic telekinesis to solve the problem? How does one "run carefully"? Wouldn't she have to prioritize speed, if she wants to cover any meaningful distance with a house strapped to her? For that matter, if she didn't know where she was going, why bother running? Are towns in rural Equestria close enough together that there was a better-than-even chance that she would reach one before she collapsed from exhaustion and hypothermia?

...all that said, it's good so far.

So far, I'm liking this! Can't wait for more. :twilightsmile:

oooohhhh Twilight, the great and powerfull Tixie, had an great and powerfull job, where she had to act like that, even if she would have been more nice, however i believe it is part the fault of what happene to herd, that make her be like that.

Twilight rolled her eyes, “I bet you don’t even know where you’ll go when you leave.”

not sure why, but i felt like this was something that would normally make Trixie angry or hurt her in a way.

I don´t know what you think about the first episode with Trixie, and on which side you are, but they still didn´t helped her in the end, since they made her leave the town, and that because she just lied a bit about the Ursa Minor.
What i mean is, actually both of them have their own piece of the fault (hope i can say it like that), and if Twilight would apologize too, i would like that.

I don´t need it that they put all the fault on Trixie, the main six challenged Trixie themself, at least that much i remember.

“Well we can start with the fact the you’re a disrespectful show-off and fraud who brought an Ursa Minor to Ponyville, and also tried to take over Ponyville with an evil magical amulet.”

soooo he believes that too?

I like that chapter, there are only those small details, that i have to mention as a Trixie fan.

edit: While i like a slow paced romance, or something that i can believe, i would like it if they get together far befor the story is going to end. The most i usually get, is a wonderfull start for such a romance, but nothing about it afterwards, and i always would like to read how they are actually acting after they started to be together.

“Well we can start with the fact the you’re a disrespectful show-off and fraud who brought an Ursa Minor to Ponyville,"

Spike: Biggest hypocrite of all time. Especially considerin' the Ursa was more his fault than Trixie's.

“I know this sounds weird, but I think underneath all that boasting and ego, lies a mare who just wants to show everypony that she’s an amazing magician."

Yeah, ah think that's the part he takes issue with. For... some reason.

“Of course, mother always told be to be humble to your fans. Especially since I’m rooming with them”

Oh no, this is gonna be one a' those fics. "Humble Trixie". Where Trixie was actually really nice all along. That's not why we like Trixie. Really hope this doesn't become a thing.

6239184 Well I don't particularly mind the idea of Trixie actually being nice for once, but to each there own.
And to answer your several questions:
Why didn't she take shelter inside the caravan, which is ostensibly what it's there for?
1.The caravan was busted up so a motel or something would be a better place to stay when it's raining outside.

Even if wind was a factor, couldn't she have used basic telekinesis to solve the problem?
2.How would telekinesis do good against high winds?

How does one "run carefully"?
3.You ever heard of walk-running.

Wouldn't she have to prioritize speed, if she wants to cover any meaningful distance with a house strapped to her?
4.Slow and steady wins the race, especially if you're attached to a house.

For that matter, if she didn't know where she was going, why bother running?
5.She wants to go somewhere quickly no matter where it is.

Are towns in rural Equestria close enough together that there was a better-than-even chance that she would reach one before she collapsed from exhaustion and hypothermia?
6.Probably.

Okay. Read the first two chapters. I have a feeling that Trixie was always trying to be the best, but could never compare to Twilight. That probably started to cause her downfall. That and more than likely the passing of her parent(s) (which seems to happen in most stories where Trixie's foalhood is brought up). I just hope it's not another hatefest for Trixie in Ponyville.

‘I just hope the girls aren't as adamant about her.’ She thought to herself.

Don't count on it, Twilight. Half of them had a reason to hate her before she returned with the Alicorn Amulet. Now? She's lucky she brought Trixie into Ponyville in the dead of night during a storm. Trixie wouldn't have made it pass city limits.

Yay! New chapter! I swear, I become so excited when you realise a new chapter to this. :twilightsmile:

i lovw where this story is going few gramatical errors but course i dont engrish gud cuz englib to tuff for me to write or type . buuut i feel it lacks a bit of tht luster between the slow developing relationship between of twilight nd trixie. thisbisbme spitting words coming out of my mind but i kind of want them to have a relationship that i felt from apology of two suns between celestia nd sunset.

I hate it if my track list doesn´t work right, and doesn´t tell me if there is a new chapter, because i can´t give my thought to the chapter befor the next one is out.
I know i can´t tell you what to do, but i would be able to ask for some things, or give ideas, and stuff like that, but i just start reading now.


I don´t really like her castle being filled with guards, but as long as they don´t stop everyone from enter, or any Guard loves princess thing, i think I should have no problem.

“Relax Trixie, of course there’s going to be some ponies who remember what happened in the past. But at least they’re not running you out of town with pitchforks and torches.”

I say it again, it wasn´t nice how much she did to Twilight´s friends, but the main six accepted the challenge on their own, so everything that happens is there own fault in my eyes.
The thing with the Ursa minor, was just a tale supposed to make everything more interessting for me, even if Trixie had overdone it a bit, but that everyone hated her for it was a bit to much in my eyes.


I know she is the princess of magic, and actually it is a nice thing, but to force their friends to be friends with someone else isn´t that nice from her, even if she is just asking very much.

“Look I just want you guys to hang out with her. She can help you with any tasks or anything else you want to do with her. And I’d rather not hear any complaints from any you Rainbow.”

That sounds like she would not even let them decide, i would think it is more effective if they agree on their own.

I like the part were the main six talk about being friends with Trixie after Twilight left, but i really don´t like it, that Twilight sees to think she can just decide it for their friends.

I think i take it a bit to seriously, but i would prefer it if Characters like Twilight, or Celestia would ask others for their own opinion sometimes, and not just do with them what they think is right.

Nice chapter, but i get the feeling the day with Pinkie somehow backfired at the end of the chapter.
Even if it is not to much, to show her that she can do some Magic Tricks too, made her feel even less great and powerfull i guess.

So, it seems Trixie's mother was starting to get sick, if she wasn't sick already. It also seems Trixie has some really deep issues.

this was a nice chapter, I still think hat Trixie doesn´t have the full fault for both situations, but i really liked this chapter with Rarity.

if sweetie was grounded why didn't. you have rarity remind her to stay home

Nice story! Noticed some mistakes though.

You know, I was me and Pinkie Pie wasn’t there when Trixie did her magic show.

I am not entirely sure what did Fluttershy mean by that...

“Your...helping me?”

"You're" or "you are". This is the most eye-catching mistake that disrupts reading

Keep it up, this story is really refreshing!

6444498 Man I hate it when that happens, makes me wish I had a natural-spell check. But thanks for pointing it out, and I hope you're enjoying the story.

“Don’t worry Applebloom. Besides, what could possibly go wrong?”

Questions like this're why Sweetie Belle is an orphan now.

Nice story so far, I like it. Also a minor spelling error I noticed. :twilightsmile:

“I guess that makes since.” Scootaloo said.

“I guess that makes since sense.” Scootaloo said.

I nearly forgot what happened there, but I still remember what, or how Twilight is trying to do it, and right now it looks like she would at least not force Trixie to visit her friends, I think it was a deal right?
I just can´t blame her completely for what happened in the show, and somehow this little flashback, made me to feel sad for her.

Oh I forgot to say thanky ou for the new chapter.

I don´t really know how to describe what I would like to see happen between them. If they should talk about the past, well I guess Trixie doesn´t have to speak like she had done the worst thing ever.
I´m not sure how far children can really controll their emotions, since they are probably still well.....they just have to learn some self-control, and in that time everything that happens can be rather much for them I guess. So Trixie probably just naturally overreacted to her situation, and her personality didn´t helped her at all.

What I mean is, I know at least, that something that happens in the past, at a really youn age, can really make it hard for you later, if you can´t solve that problem for you back then. I think I managed to say it like I meant it.

I guess I only want to see, that Trixie isn´t explaining herself as the wors pony ever, if that moment should come. I know she can´t just say it wasn´t her fault, but maybe you can explain it a bit more like her childself couldn´t handle it, or Twilight is intelligent enough to mention it. Not sure if that would be nice to read, because I rarely get something like that, but it sounds nice to me right now.
I guess I just don´t like it sometimes if they blame themself, but there are more reasons why they reacted a certain way.

“Don’t worry Applebloom. Besides, what could possibly go wrong?”

Hello. My name is Murphy. Whenever I hear phrases like this, or 'no problem', or 'What's the worst that can happen?' or anything of this sort, it is my job to enforce the law...my law.

I am going to wait to see how the CMC's trip backfires on all of them. Meanwhile, Trixie has a lot of emotional baggage she's carrying. I have no idea how she can safely unload it all though.

That's rather arbitrary. AJ never had a problem with Twilight helping out with magic on her farm...

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Oh, good, it's this argument again. I hoped that would happen.

As far as I'm aware, AJ has actually only ever permitted magic on her farm under emergency circumstances. It's just that, being part of the beacon of all things improbably dangerous that is Ponyville, emergency circumstances come up a lot. Other times she's made it clear that she doesn't appreciate magic being used without her permission.

6870605 that's actually a thing? I did not know that. Nevermind then, probably every argument I can think of has been already refuted and counter-refuted numerous times.
Still think it's kinda silly though.

Trixie and Twilight are really going to need to talk about when they both went to Celestia's school. Trixie has a deep seated hatred for Twilight that started back then. Yet, Twilight probably doesn't even remember that they went to the same school.

So the only reason Trixie stopped Rainbow was because she wanted to "fix her own mistake" ? The others really should be furious about that. And it doesn't say anything good about Trixie.

6937818 Actually, it does. True, she should have just let Rainbow save the foals. However, this shows how much she wants to improve herself and make up for past mistakes. The old Trixie wouldn't have admitted to this and put the blame on anypony but herself, if she even bothered to show up at the dam in the first place. Here, she found out that the CMC actually pulled off their con, got to the dam as fast as she could, insisted on saving them (which I admit she should have just let whoever could do the job, do it), managed to talk to the foals about what they've done (after screaming at them of course), and admitted to the others her line of thinking, which was she didn't want others to clean up her mistakes, as well as her guilt for her for past and present mistakes.

Okay I started to feel the sad side of this chapter, and it was nice to read.
However I started to hope, that Trixies past is catching up with her, and that she is maybe rather unstable.
Not sure how much you want this to get in the psychological side, but I would actually like to have something like that as a moment where she really starts to find her peace, or at least that this would mark her real new start.

6938038 Yep, that's exactly what I was trying to do.

So who is the main villain? No, I haven't read the story yet.

7135612 then why not read it and find out for yourself, just like everyone else -_-

Well, now we know the REAL reason behind Trixie's hatred towards Twilight. Now, let's see if Trixie can let it go. I wonder if Twilight, as of yet, wrote to Celestia about Trixie? Does Celestia even remember the promise she made to Silver Wand? I also wonder if that gold envelope was from Celestia?

to be honest, whatever Twilight was thinking about the matter, she could try to defend Trixie from dangerous Creatures, but I like to think that she couldn't even fordade her to go into the Everfree.


7135612 I think it is more about who had problems with which Pony, it is not really about some Villain as far as I remember.
7136593 In some certain storys this was even a weird thing to do in my eyes,...writing to Celestia I mean. Sometimes considering what happened in certains storys, it sometimes feels more like she would secretly analyze someone together with Celestia, and more or less not really trusting them at first.

It only happened once where it actually looked like that, but it is just strange in a certain way.
"No problems so far princess Celestia, subject 03 has shown some developments in her social skills, but is still reserved in doing anything what I think is right, I know attempt on fixing that" (I know part of that is overreacting mixed with some fantasy, but one story at least really gave me that feeling.)

Not sure what to think about it right now, but I think it was pretty much was okay the way it turned out:twilightsmile:. I hate it if they have some complicate feelings, but the story is starting to just favour a few characters, and shoving the fault on all the other characters. Like in a Human in Equestria story, where the Human is often enough the personal punching bag to all the other ponys. Or in one chase where Trixies Mother was leaving her child and did as much wrong as Trixie did, but the author had chosen to only give Trixie the whole fault.
Sorry that is just me linking psychology.

Nice chapter, I have nothing serious to say against it.

"Besides I explicitly told Sweetie that under no circumstances could she not attend this trip."

I'm pretty sure that means she has to do it.

I :heart: :trixieshiftleft:
Now that the air has been cleared, what happens now?

“OH THANK YOU TWILIGHT!” Trixie exclaimed happily with tears in her eyes.

I may overdoo it a bit with the psyhological stuff, but I would actually like it if she would have that kind of problem, that doesn't let himsel just be solved by talking about it, which means she and Twilight would slowly have to work on it.

Only got 4 or 5 chapters left so yippie!

I would have preferet not to know it, now it somehow still feels short, at least a bit short for that kind of problem to be solved, but nice enough for the story itself.

I always like a sequel, but I honestly don't know what I would like to happen right now.

---

1 Month Later…

sorry but that still was to easy and to fast for me, I mean the story itself is good but that could have been written a little bit more interessting if the problem wasn't so easily solved.

I don't remember everything, but if Celestia really should have made some sort of promise to look after Trixie once in a while, she would have found her if she really looked for her with all her guards and stuff like that. I don't mean like ordering her around, but more like visiting her and stuff like that. This is just what I remember without reading everything again.

i cant help and feel this is the last chapter of this great and powerful story of feels. I hope the next chapter comes soon this a real rollercoaster of feels and great friendships developed between trixie and twilight i love it

It was my actions that caused an Ursa Minor to rampage through Ponyville

I'm still not exactly seeing how it would be her fault, no matter how many giddy idiots would gather stuff for her to do something awesome.

“Are…are you saying that you hate me? That all of your misfortunes were my fault?”

Trixie sighed as she started to wipe her eyes. “I…I don’t hate you your majesty. And I do not blame you for my action, far from it. But why was I never your personal student?

I guess I can only agree with Celestia no giving her a home, or visiting her right there.

“Trixie, you know as well as I do that Twilight needed my teachings more than you did. Back then, you were an expert at magic and Twilight needed to learn to control all of it. Besides, I made a promise that I to not interfere, to never intervene so that you can forge your own path. I doubt your mother wouldn’t really approve of you taking the easy way out.”

I remember her mother said something else too, but at first she wanted her to be Celestia`s student I think.
I honestly do think she could have given her a few lessions.

This was a really nice chapter, even if I don't always share the viewpoint of all characters.
I mean while Celestia did never something to bad in this story, I can't exactly think that she did nothing wrong.


I would prefer it if this story isn't near the end already and the last words would be an "I love you again", because I'm more interessted in what happens after that between them.

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