• Member Since 22nd May, 2012
  • offline last seen Jul 29th, 2016

The-rogue-shadow


I'm relatively new to the world of fanfiction, but I do have a real deep passion for both MLP:FIM and writing.

T

Twilight Sparkle is changing; she's not sure how, or why. All she does
know is that she has to reverse the change before she hurts somepony she
cares about. But she won't be alone, Spike will be by her side until the
end.

Chapters (7)
Comments ( 245 )

Don't capitalize after a semi-colon. You've done just that in your description.

Twilight is best vampire, hoofs down. This first chapter makes me want to read moar, so that's good. Have a fav and an upvote, they're yours.

I like this. A few grammar issues, but they're fairly minor. Tracking.

1246860
Thank you very much, I didn't notice that. :pinkiehappy:

1249713
Thanks, I'll have another look through and fix the errors.

Hmmm... I always enjoy a good transformation story. Let's see how this goes. Tracked for now, fave' pending.

1251536
Thanks, I hope you enjoy the coming chapters.

this looks interesting! i absolutely love vampony twi:pinkiegasp::pinkiehappy:
im hoping/guessing that we'll find out how and why exactly she's turning into a vampony

Interesting, but will she learn the art of divination magic along the way? :rainbowwild: :trollestia:

1253199
Thank you, and I'm not sure yet what will exactly happen. We will just have to wait and see.

1254043
Thank you, and perhaps. I haven't really decided.

Question dose spike get bit ?

1261881
Sorry... no spoilers. You're going to have to wait and see i'm afraid. :pinkiehappy:

1261913 I hope so there are no vampire Spike fic's

1261927
Really? You would think that there must be some.

You have a very different take on vamponyism - slow onset of symptoms, the victim not putting two and two together immediately, competent medical care... I could get used to this!

Though I do want updates, please don't rush them - I'd rather read quality, not quantity.

1262542
I'm glad you're enjoying it. As for updates. I plan to start writing the next chapter when/ if the first gets accepted into EQD. My editor and I are currently working on getting it up to spec for them.

1257600

I mention that because I want to see more adventure stories where she is well informed enough to make good use of her ability to plan ahead.

And the use of magic that can be classed as divination is mostly limited to locating spells similar to Rarity's gem finding spell. With the notable exception of the story Soothsaying where it is used as a plot device to hook Twi up with Tia.

1263177
I haven't read that story, but I can see how it would be a very useful plot device. I will definitely consider using it.

I really like how you wrote Spike as more than just Fax Machine. :heart:
:moustache:

1263233
Thank you. Personally I'm of the belief that he's Twilight's first friend, so they have a very special bond. :twilightsmile:

1263248

Well, first other than Shiny and Cadance (as based on the flashbacks in the show she was foalsitting Twilight before Twi got her cutie mark).

Hey, great to see you here, too! :pinkiehappy:

This is a great start. Your pacing let the suspense grow without dragging, and I really want to know what happens next. In the end, that's all that matters, isn't it?

I thought the details you gave were perfect for this story. Along with the pacing, they gave the story the right amount of tension without going overboard.

I'm curious to see how you'll explain Twilight's... condition. I have an idea, but there are a few holes that need to be filled in. Why is Twilight the only one affected? Of if she isn't, why haven't we heard about the others? There are reasonable answers to these questions, of course, so no worries yet.

There were a couple very minor formatting issues. Remember that unless you change speaker, you don't have to start a new paragraph. In fact, it's better if you don't. So this formatting would be better:

"Thank you. At least I'm not going to need the sunglasses," joked Twilight, taking them off and throwing them on the bed. "So, you said you have my blood tests?"

Right now, that second quote is in its own paragraph, which indicates a change in speaker. Put them together to avoid confusion.

Anywho, that's all I have. Hope it helps, and I hope to see the next installment soon.

1272423
Howdy, nice to see you to.
And thanks. I haven't had any time to do an edit for that line yet. It's strange though. I sent this chapter to my Professional and Creative writing professor and she missed that. :pinkiehappy:

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please?

Hopefully Twilight won't become overzealous and kill Colgate...

Second chapter! Hurray!
:twilightsmile:

1342700>>1342687
The attack alone will cause damage to the psyche of twilight.

Oh, poo. Even if she does get cured, she's going to be all kinds of messed up.

awesome chapter now it's getting intresting please continue and if you could try to make the chapters a little longer!:twilightsmile::pinkiesmile:

Very good, it would be nice if you could get chapters out quicker though.:yay:

Was wondering when you would add a new chapter.
Also, second to last sentence about her pupils seems off.

:twilightoops: :pinkiegasp:

That about sums up my reaction, in a good way. Well, as good as vampire-Twilight-murder can get.

1342716
There is no way that it couldn't..... Spoilers.

1343986
Yeah I'm sorry about that. I wanted them all to be about 3000 words each, but I have been getting a bit sidetracked with other things I'm afraid.

1344743
I am trying, but Unfortunately, both myself and my editor are currently in preparation for University exams, and she hasn't got much time to look over my stuff until sometime near the end of October. So if I was to put out any chapters in the meantime, they wouldn't be very well edited.

1344921
Sorry about the wait, and might I ask what you mean?

Yay! Second chapter! I've been looking forward to this!

*Reads* Oh snap :pinkiegasp:

1342716 Agreed :twilightoops: poor Twilight may never forgive herself for hurting another pony

1345961
"...the pupils her eyes wide and all of her reasoning gone."
Did you mean "....the pupils OF her eyes WENT wide..."?

1346031
oh... Thanks. I didn't notice that and neither did my editor. That's embarrassing. :derpyderp2:

1346037
Your welcome. :3

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