Jumping at Shadows
As the train bounced gently along the tracks on its path towards Canterlot, Cadance soothed her frenzied emotions with the best cure known to pony-kind for an aching heart; cookie dough. However, while the youngest princess soothed her troubled heart, the eldest found herself unable to bring herself to sleep. In fact, the more she thought on the events earlier that evening, the more frantic she became. The clip clop of hooves echoed softly through her cabin as she paced back and forth, attempting to predict Luna’s next actions.
“Alright Celestia, keep it together,” she thought, desperately trying to keep her wits about her as she remembered the prank wars of years past. “Nothing you haven’t dealt with before. All you have to do is pre-empt her strike and she’ll be powerless.” Celestia’s thoughts went out to her niece and the horrors she must have suffered at her sister’s pranks. While the princess of the day was known for her somewhat mischievous nature, Celestia knew that she paled in comparison to her younger sister. The elder’s pranks usually tended to be little more than inconveniences to those involved; hot sauce in the soup, enchanted feather dusters; nothing terribly frightening. Luna, on the other hoof, seemed to have a knack of knowing just where to hit a pony to really get under their skin. Perhaps it had to do with being able to see into ponies dreams, or possibly her analytical outlook on the world and being able to see how things work.
Celestia released a pained sigh and glanced out her cabin window and up at the now exposed moon as it pierced through the heavy cloud cover that they night had brought. “Poor Cadance really didn’t stand a chance.” She thought with a heavy heart, though her sigh was quickly followed by a soft gasp of realization. Cadance had already been pranked, she had to have been. There are very few things in this world that can bring on such a cry of sheer horror as had filled the train only moments ago. Certainly if it had been a nightmare of Cadance’s own creation, Luna would certainly not have let it run rampant within her niece’s mind unchecked.
“No, Cadance has already received Luna’s wrath. What I need to worry about now is how to avoid whatever she has in mind for me.” While Celestia did feel guilty about not going to comfort her niece immediately after what must have surely been a traumatizing experience, she could not let her guard down for a moment now that the gauntlet had been tossed. Thoughts of previous pranks from her beloved sister sprang to mind; more than one of which made her shudder with disgust, fear, heartache, or all of the above. She knew that, even recently, the princess of the night had not lost her touch for the malicious desire to prank. The ‘fan’ incident had revealed that to her all too clearly.
Celestia shook her head to clear out such distracting thoughts and focus on the task at hoof. Luna was nothing if not original. It stood to reason that, if she could narrow down what kind of prank would be coming her way, she would have a better chance of knowing that it was coming and avoid it. Perhaps she could even turn it back on her younger sister for once. The princess of the sun began wracking her brain for all of the pranks that she had been subjected to in the past. The more she thought, however, the more she realized that Luna had been slowly upping the ante on her pranks. What had once started out as harmless worms in the bed had escalated to snakes, to poison joke, tainted treats, and even, Faust forbid, spiders.
The princess of the sun gave a visible shudder at that particular memory, though attempted to put it out of mind for the time being. She tried not to think about their beady little eyes; eight little orbs of pure darkness and hatred gazing back at her. She tried to not visualize their eight long, hairy legs that allowed them to crawl and lie in wait for their unsuspecting prey to wander underneath and drop into her mane. The princess tried desperately to not imagine the feeling of those horrible creatures crawling all over her, their bodies creeping across her coat and through her mane and….
“AAIIIIIEEEEEEEEEE!!! Get them off, get them off!” Celestia shrieked as she leapt into the air and began sweeping her long legs against her coat in an attempt to remove the imagined vermin from her royal coat. Not a hoofful of seconds had passed before her ever faithful guards burst through her doorway, arms drawn and ready to, should need arise, lay down their lives for their beloved princess.
“Release the princess, you fiend!” Honor Bound cried out heroically, only to look around the cabin and find that said fiend was nowhere to be seen. The only occupant of Celestia’s cabin was, in fact, Celestia, who was presently hovering against the ceiling. Honor Bound and Razor Edge exchanged a concerned glance before looking back up to their regent.
“Umm, Princess? Where are the intruders that accosted you?”
Celestia looked down at her loyal guards with wide eyes. Her breaths came in quick, shallow gasps, her pupils had been reduced to pinpricks, her mane whipped back and forth as though she were caught in a hurricane, and her horn glowed brightly, as if preparing to unleash a rather powerful spell. After a few moments to regain her senses, the princess slowly brought herself down from her hiding place against the ceiling. While they couldn’t be certain, both guards could have sworn they heard the princess talking to herself as she touched her hooves back to the plush carpet of the royal cabin. “Deep breaths, in and out. Just like your therapist taught you…”
Coming to rest on her forelegs, Celestia took a couple of seconds to collect herself before addressing her guards in more of a manner they were accustomed to, though she still appeared a bit frazzled. “My apologies to the both of you. It seems I gave myself a bit of a start and called out prematurely.” She said quickly, putting on a fake smile in an attempt to put her personal guard at ease. It should be noted that, while Princess Celestia deals with dignitaries and very important ponies every day, and participates successfully in negotiations that affect millions of ponies, when panicked, her poker face is…well, about as good as Applejack’s.
Casting an unsure glance at his partner, Razor Edge stepped past Honor Bound and gave a small bow to Princess Celestia before continuing. “With all due respect, Your Majesty, it sounded as if you were being ponynapped. Are you sure that everything is alright?” Razor Edge knew he had already brushed off one subconscious warning from the princess that night, he wasn’t about to do the same thing again unless she gave him a royal order to do so.
Celestia released a gentle sigh as she glanced at the floor. She loved her guards to pieces, she really did. However, they did make it a little difficult to mask her neuroses when they were so adamant in helping her. The princess looked back up at the guards, who at this point had adopted a more relaxed pose, still remained alert for any potential dangers to the princess. Ever graceful, she had the courtesy of gracing her face with a soft blush before continuing. “Well, it is a little silly, but I thought I had seen…well, a spider.”
“A…a spider, Your Grace?”
The princess gave a soft chuckle of embarrassment to hide her true disgust and utter hated of the Tartarus-cursed creatures. “Yes, I’m rather uncomfortable with them and was a little startled when I saw one scurry out from under my bed. I would be ever so grateful to both of you if you would take a look around and make sure that there aren’t any more of them scurrying about.” By this point Celestia has gathered herself enough to put on her usual motherly smile that made others eager to please her as little colts and fillies wished to do for their own mothers.
The guards accepted her orders with a smart salute and simultaneously following with “Yes, Your Majesty.” Without any further prompting, Razor Edge and Honor Bound began searching every nook and cranny they could find. Behind the royal dresser, beneath the royal bed spread, even in the royal bathroom. However, despite their best effort, neither guard saw a single thing out of place among her majesty’s train car.
“We’ve checked everywhere, Princess, but neither of us could find a single spider, or anything else for that matter. I would suggest trying to get some sleep, your majesty, it’s been a very long week. I’m sure a good night’s sleep would do you a world of good.”
“Perhaps you’re right, Honor Bound, I have been rather stressed the past few days with everything that has been going on. A good night’s sleep is just what the doctor ordered. Thank you so much for indulging me. Both of you have a pleasant evening.” Having done their duty as royal protectors and being dismissed from said royalty’s service, Honor Bound and Razor Edge saluted their regent before exiting the room. As Razor Edge turned and moved to close the door, he paused and trained his eyes on the cabin’s window. Thinking that he had seen something there, he stared at it for a moment before shrugging it off and closing the door. Standing in front of the now closed door, Honor Bound raised his eyebrow to his partner’s pause.
“What? I thought I saw something on her window, but I figured it was just a speck of dust, so I—”
Unfortunately, Razor Edge wasn’t given the chance to finish his sentence, as the door to Celestia’s cabin had decided to choose that exact moment to explode off of its hinges and plaster the two unsuspecting guards to the wall of the train’s walkway. Meanwhile, the temperature of the walkway had risen considerably. By the time the pressure that had launched the door off of its hinges released and the guards were freed from their rather sudden banishment to the wall, they were dripping sweat and panting as if the oxygen had been sucked from their lungs. The truth wasn’t far off, as the first sight they were presented with was that of a missing wall of the train car where the window had once stood. Adding to the ambiance of the scene were the scorch marks radiating out from the wall, as if a small explosion had been detonated where the window had been only moments before. To top it all off, Princess Celestia, Regent of the Sun, Her Shining Immortal Majesty, Bringer of the Day and Vanquisher of the Eternal Night, was seated in the epicenter of destruction with a small, sheepish grin on her face like a foal with their hoof caught in the cookie jar.
Honor Bound turned his glare towards his partner, who had a grin of his own plastered to his face directed at Honor Bound, attempting to offset some of his partner’s ire. However, gravity reclaimed its rightful dominance over the two guards and dragged them back to the floor of the train car. As they slowly became unplastered from the wall, Honor Bound simply leveled a deadpanned stare at Razor Edge and, unable to conjure a more eloquent response, simply closed his eyes and released a breath so as to avoid uttering anything vulgar in the presence of his princess.
“I blame you.” Was all he was able to get out before the pair fell from the wall and landed on the door that had conquered them moments before.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Meanwhile, Luna reclined in her room and watched all of these events unfold though a scrying spell she had placed on her vanity mirror. In her telekinetic grasp floated a glass of marelot and a bag of popcorn. She had been giggling through the entire interaction, though she had lost all sense of decorum and propriety at her dear sister detonating her wall at the sight of a single spider. The ever-regal princess of the night was clutching her sides and laughing uproariously at the antics unfolding before her. “Oh-hoh, Tia! We could never have imagined anything so hilarious as this. While We do appreciate that ‘twas our previous shenanigans that hath instigated tonights suffering, it simply proves that we must work even harder on our own prank, so that it may truly outrank thine own self inflicted torment.”
Letting the spell on the mirror fade out of existence, Luna topped off her wine glass and lifted the book she had been reading earlier back up to eye level. Every line she read of said tome caused her smile to spread wider and wider. It could have been her reminiscing thoughts on her sister’s self inflicted arachnophobia, or imaginings of how her guard’s training regimen had sculpted their bodies perfectly. However, it most likely had to do something with the fact that the particular book that she held in her telekinetic grasp was imprinted with an exact duplicate of her sister’s cutie mark…and may or may not have been pilfered from her sister’s sock drawer in the royal palace.
To those of you who missed the joke, the 'fan' incident can be found here
http://csimadmax.deviantart.com/art/april-foal-203104309
I just want to thank all of those who have beared with me during my dry spell, and know that EFNW really helped pull me out of my funk and get over all the school induced stress. This has been the hardest chapter for me to write, mainly because I couldn't decide on what I wanted to do with Celestia in relation to Cadance.
Love it? Hate it? Not Sure? Let me know so I can keep on improving 
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omg ITS ALIVE
mtfca.com/discus/messages/331880/359582.jpg
Hate to say it but this chapter wasn't as funny as the previous ones. That you were struggling really comes through here. Hopefully the next one will be better.
Umm, dont know if you caught this, but all of the italics in the beginning did not work
Sooooo worth the wait. The spider thing was just perfect!!
Yeah, you need to replace all the <> with [] to make the italics work.
2846134>>2846229 CRAP! It looked good in the preview, thanks guys!
Fixed, Thanks again! That's what I get for trying to use html codes
Looking at the 'fan' comic, I don't think Celestia's jokes are as harmless as she believes.
Wow. I almost forgot about this story.
Decent chapter, but it wasn't exactly making me have the case of the giggles.
Although I did find it amusing.
2846453 Your welcome
Fantastic story by the way
Have you, by any chance, been inspired by Arachnophobia?
Other than that, I'm glad to see this make a return, especially given that I finally got around to reading Cupcakes earlier this evening and needed something comedic to purge the final remnants from my mind.
Love it
This has been gone for so long...I need to re-read all of the chapters to remind myself of what happened, but from reading the comments, I got spiders and good chapter.
Oh, and you messing up HTML and BB Code.
It's always funny watching people do that.
... But it was Celestia who pranked Luna in a rather malicious way. Why are you attributing the prank to Luna?
2846999 because Celestia remembers the revenge from said prank
(swears quietly about not having a troll Luna smilie)
Best kind of prank right here:
The threat of one that never comes and ends up going insane from it.
~Skeeter The Lurker
>mindrapes Cadance
>calls it a "prank"
Why do I get the feeling Parliament and/or the High Court's gonna bitchslap Luna when she gets back?
Do not mess with Luna, especially if one has a fear of small insectile creatures
2846581 Who, me? No, not in the slightest! I resent such an allegation, sir!
...........ok, yes
I instantly knew what the 'fan incident' was... Poor Luna
2847304
that picture of your's is scaring me
2847015
...And she was expecting something small for poking at something so sensitive as part of the reason she became Nightmare Moon?
I dunno, I think some of the fun is taken out of the fic by how seriously Luna seems to be taking the prank war. When somebody goes from making the pranks aggravating to traumatizing or hurtful is when the pranks get out of hoof. Especially when it was her grouchiness that started it to begin with. So long as she gets her comeuppance in the end I'll be satisfied.
I forget the story that Celestia's fear of spiders comes from, but it's a nice nod to it here and makes for some funny stuff.
This story continues to be funny =D
This can only end with Equestria being utterly destroyed and Discord blinking out at the devastation and charred bodies and noting, "Well, at least they can't blame this mess on me!"
2846229
It's kinda funny, actually.
Author, been coding webpages? HTML doesn't work here.
2848270 Yes actually, I have. I'm in school for programming
2848289
Awesome, I love programming. Was in school for it, but... it didn't work out. Wish you luck, though.
I think Celestia got what she deserved if there was retaliation for the "fan prank". Though I always side with Luna, it's not cause I am bias, Luna is just best princess.
2848289
Hail Programmer, think you can program a comfortable bed for me?
SCOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2847490
derpicdn.net/media/W1siZiIsIjIwMTMvMDUvMjMvMDFfMzVfMThfMTkwXzMzMTU2NV9fVU5PUFRfX3NhZmVfYXJ0aXN0X2xlbW9uZGV2aWwuZ2lmIl1d/331565__safe_rarity_animated_wat_spongebob%2Bsquarepants_artist-colon-lemondevil_handsome%2Bsquidward_beautiful%2Bcreature.gif
2847017 yeah that's what I was thinking of the WHOLE time I was reading this
So know the horrors people will inflict trying to survive the (non)up coming prank or whatever
2847100 Like this?
I'd almost forgotten all about this story! Also, I'm almost certain that was a reference to Arachnophobia by Denis the Menace.
I thought this story was dead! It's a bit lacking in understanding.
I totally forgot about this story. I forgot how amusing it was to me.
I also totally saw it coming with Luna not having done anything to Celestia at all on the train in this chapter which only made it even funnier.
2846122
what he said.
2852288 I actually touched on this already, see below
2313269
2847304 If I am reading it right, I think Celestia was on the receiving end of the fan, not luna
2852432
Visit the link in the author's note...
I think what Luna did to Cadence goes beyond a prank. That is a horrible thing to do to a pony... That being said, I like how Celestia goes crazy thinking about what Luna will do to her, now I'm excited to see what she actually does.
Edit: Actually scratch that I'm scared. She has Celestia's diary in her arsenal, and seeing the "prank" she pulled on Cadence, Celestia will probably need years of psychiatric help.
2852599
Guard: "Your majesty! We have discovered the source of information filtered to the press, regarding your, ejem, "affairs" with the griphon ambassador or your, ejem, conversation with the royal nutricionist regarding your, ejem, tiny slight overweight.
But we still don´t know how that copy of your personal diary ended in a School Press, of all places..."
Celestia: LUUUNNAAAAAAAAA!
fc04.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2013/050/3/b/angry_princess_celestia___animated_gif_by_nicoboss143-d5vi6u6.gif
2847246 spiders aren't insects they're arachnids
If I could say one thing to Luna about this entire pranking debacle it would be "What goes around comes around." As one who has been on the receiving end of far too many one sided so called pranks from my elder sibling I have absolutely no sympathy for Luna at this juncture. Seriously, mind rape much? Luna maybe the princess of the night and the walker of dreams but she's been out of the loop for the past 1000 years while Celestia has had that same 1000 years to perfect and fine tune her pranking skills. I believe that Luna has just opened a can of worms that she'll be lucky if said can of worms only winds up in her mane. I'm looking forward to seeing her comeuppance.
2853169 I know but I was tired and it's a common mistmistake
Jeez Lulu.
You're EVIL.
2852462 ah, woops... didn't notice the link. thanks for that
I met you at EFNW, and you mentioned this. I'm glad I remembered it, this is a fun one!
No no NO! Spiders are not silly.
Spiders
are
very
serious
business!
(Do not click those links if you wish to sleep at night.)
2854341
Or possibly "Do not start what you cannot finish."