• Member Since 30th Jan, 2012
  • offline last seen Nov 26th, 2017

Nitrox


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Coming back to Canterlot shortly before Cadance's wedding to Shining Armor, Celestia and Cadance soon grow bored on the train ride and decide to have a bit of fun...at the expense of a sleeping Luna. Needless to say, the princess of the night is none too pleased with this development and decides to enact some revenge of her own. Hilarity ensues, and bananas may or may not be involved!

Had this idea when I first saw LoCeri's comic, and finally have some time and enough ideas to make a proper story out of it. Just a bit of random fun, not meant to be taken seriously!

Picture used with artist's permission, and seriously, if you haven't already seen his stuff, LoCeri has some awesome and hilarious comics and is definitely worthy of a follow! (Or at least a cookie)

Chapters (4)
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Comments ( 393 )

Concept is good.
Characters are good.
Story is funny as heck.
Nothing like royal mischief to make me chuckle!
:rainbowlaugh:

Celestia and Cadance are headed to a world of pain.
Nopony messes with Luna!

The matching comic makes it work. Slice of Life story for the win!

Thus an incredible comic is explained with excellent storytelling.

Scooooooore! Doughnut tossing is a serious sport!
*picks up doughnut and lines up shot*
Now let me try. Just hold still Celestia................

... and then the lunar rebellion started :rainbowlaugh:

EPIC fic!
5 spikes for you: :moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache:

we seriously need some luna reaction pictures.

Glad so many people are enjoying this so far!

1218672

Don't worry, following chapters will be Luna exacting her revenge :trollestia:

Let this be known as the Great Royal Train Food Fight. You may carry on.

Those sick bastards....:ajbemused: Get'em, Luna!

:rainbowlaugh: oh i can not wait to see Luna's revenge

total mlp regular show
tia:*throws doughnut and lands on luna's horn*ooooooooooooOOOOOOO:rainbowkiss:
candance:OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO:pinkiegasp:
tia:OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO:rainbowwild:
luna:*royal canterlot voice*WHAT THE BUCK!!!!!!:flutterrage:

Royal mischief for the win :pinkiehappy:
These kinds of happy real-life kind of stories are one of the big reasons I read fan-fics. I could totally see me doing this if I had a unicorn sister. Reminds me why I always make a point of not sleeping in the presence of my friends and siblings
Wonderful little story dear, can't wait to see more :raritywink:

I always love the idea of Cadence being the sidekick to Celestia and her royal shenanigans, while Luna is the hapless foil. Like Calvin & Hobbes vs. Suzy!

I actually LOL'd when reading this story, and believe me, I do not do that often. Keep going!

The most dangerous of prank weapons. The doughnut. Leaving your face sticky for hours. (you can't wash it off! Especially jelly filled!)

Good Job less than 12 hours and your at the number one spot

1219124 Bah I could make that shot from Pluto if I had to

Shut up and take my bits! Just take them!:rainbowlaugh:
Great story!

Nicely done, my friend! Have a fun time with this story! I felt this chapter alone was good enough as a one-shot, but if there is more to come, have at it! I did enjoy this read, and it has inspired to me continue my own, Spike's Rainbow Dash. Thanks! Happy writing!

Bravo to you! :pinkiehappy: I'm really enjoying this!

I love this so much! The comic this was based on was my desktop background for like a month or something. So AWESOME! :rainbowkiss:

1219923 hold on a sec :rainbowderp: the author of Spike's Rainbow Dash likes MY writing?! :yay::yay:

Very first sentence, you're using a period, followed by a dialogue tag. How has nobody else notified you of this?

There's quite a few others errors I'd point out to you, but I'm too lazy.

SCOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORE:rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh:

Do ho ho ho ho, that was quite funny. And rather well written too! It's harder to give critiques that show no glaring issues or weaknesses. Honestly, the only thing I notice is you get a little comma happy (though only once or twice are they used incorrectly; I suggest learning to vary your punctuation some, though) and your dialogue punctuation is incorrect here or there. Otherwise, that was a fun little read, with more depth than I expected honestly. Cheers!

Every. Meal


:rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh: Tia's fat :rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh: omg, I love Luna so much.

BR

You had me at "Tia."
Also, in the second paragraph, I'm pretty sure you spelled "Princesses" wrong. It's -Princesses'-

Story Concept: Beautiful
I love a good comedy especially involving Celestia and Luna

Faved and Liked :rainbowwild:

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