• Member Since 21st Apr, 2012
  • offline last seen 24 minutes ago

Chessie



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Celestia and Luna have been sisters for more than a millennium. If only that made things easier!

Will poor housekeeping lead to the destruction of Equestria?

Will Spike ever find true love while wearing cupcake shaped hats?

Will Twilight Sparkle ever learn to play the banjo?

(No banjos were harmed in the making of this fiction. If you want to find out the answers to those last two questions, you'll probably have to go read something else.)

Cover art commissioned from Akasashi (http://akashasi.deviantart.com)

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 204 )

inb4 featured.

Dawww, thanks. Heee! I really do hope this gets featured. It posted WAY too freakin' late at night though.
1378751
-Chessie

1378777

Usually if it's really well written, the "X does Y" stories tend to make the featured page. Gets kinda annoying for some authors, but yeah, chances are people are going to see this and read it.

Ah, yes...
When I read that clause of "if you both drink, you both lose" I knew there was only one way this could end. It reminded me of that one episode of Drake and Josh, where Megan's terms were "whoever caves must dye".
And I know from personal experience that water makes the burn worse. (And for the love of all things sugar coated, wash your hands with soap before going to the bathroom)
I was greatly amused.

(Hope you get plenty of readers, it got posted at one am here and I was just about to go to bed myself)

Hilarious! Love the lesson learned, love the experience with the hot peppers, as it mimics my own, though without the lightning, and the fire, and the 'ow it hurts me'. Great job! :pinkiehappy:

Dhaa you're not allowed to post stories in the wee hours! How will I sleep!?

It's hilarious watching the two princesses suffering like that, I have to admit.

I hope it will be featured

1378834 Awww, I'm sowwy! It's awesome to have people reading though and thank you immensely.

1378833 Heh, This was actually inspired by a show on Youtube called 'Wreckless Eating'. Feel free to look them up. It's a bit silly, but very entertaining.

1378832 I haven't seen that but it sounds hilarious! I don't handle hot food well.

-Chessie

Oh my Guinness. I'd have never taken The Royal Highnesses to be such slobs, but it all makes perfect sense. Especially considering the castle staff would never willingly criticize the Princesses.
I knew... KNEW once Twi brought out a simultaneous failure condition that it would be invoked. Her steadily escalating and yet professionally contained terror during the proceedings was palpable. Dead-on Twi.
And the raw POWER of the pepper's effects... Such a thing could bring destruction to an entire nation if given to a large enough creature. Instant rampaging fire-breathing beasts.
I should probably stop trying to weaponize plot devices. :twilightsheepish:

One teeny bit of Correction Gestapo though. "There were the rulers of the entire..." should probably read "They were..." I hate being -that guy- though.

1378895

*Squeal of panic* Oh goddess, I didn't leave... I'm a derp... okay, lemme fix that.

-Chessie

I can just imagine this as an episode on TV. But for the life of me, I can't come up with an adequate title.

1379100 We played with like, ten different titles before we came to this one...

And yeah, it would make a freakin' hilarious episode.

-Chessie

Oh, dear god, not the peppers. I never eat those because of what I learned about them. The burning sensation you feel while eating them, (Or any other spicy food, for that matter) actually is a burning sensation--they contain a chemical that causes the body to react as if exposed to a source of heat.

All in all, a very good story. I like how the Princesses learned their lessons.

I'm surprised the Princesses weren't angry at Twilight. Now I must reference one of my favorite movie quotes:

Luna: Don't ever frighten us like that again.

Twilight: I'm sorry!

Celestia: What are you, some kind of sadist?

Twilight: I'm sorry, I'm sorry!

1379622 Heh, Twilight is obviously getting off just a little bit on putting the sisters up to this...

-Chessie

That was hilarious, it does make sense the royal sisters don't bother with their own cleaning.

I remember doing a pepper eating competition with some friends waaay back. One of them had the brilliant idea of not chewing them, whereas i chewed them and burned my tongue off. They who didn't chew them were perfectly fine, swallowed them whole.
For the next two days the folks who didn't chew them had stomach pains so bad they couldn't make it to school (like i said waaay back).
:derpytongue2:

1379749 Yeeeeah, you don't wanna let hardcore peppers get to your stomach un-masticated or bad things happen. I had Quaker Steak And Lube's Super-Atomic Wings and...well, I peed for three days straight every hour until it was out of my system. It was BAD. I thought I'd gotten an infection. Turns out... not all that uncommon.

-Chessie

Oh yes. there will be feature. Also good story.

A nice story, and like others before me, I knew it was going to end in a double failure.

1379846 Heh, thanks mate. If this hits the featured box, we're totally going to do more one shots!

1379829 I sure hope so!... and thanks. I kinda wanna see the youtube episode this story would have inspired where Luna is filming and Celestia is eating another hot pepper.

-Chessie

1379852
oh if only I had some kind of animation skills... I'd animate that myself.

Seriously, I see this as an episode of the show, it was that well written. And I wonder, to those who have read this story: Were you sweating at all when you read this? Because I know I was. I was just wondering if it had the same effect on everyone else.

1379771

Yeeeeah, you don't wanna let hardcore peppers get to your stomach un-masticated or bad things happen. I had Quaker Steak And Lube's Super-Atomic Wings and...well, I peed for three days straight every hour until it was out of my system. It was BAD. I thought I'd gotten an infection. Turns out... not all that uncommon.

-Chessie

I have no idea what that is but i'll take your word for it to chew everything :-p.
Talk about the bowels of hell o.o


I'm curious are there any plans for other one-shots in future or are you going to focus on the mane story?

Haaaaaaahaaaahaaaa!!! That was GREAT!!! :rainbowlaugh: Oh, oh, oh Luna was HILARIOUS! And adorable at the same time!

I just about squee-ed out loud when she hiccupped. :pinkiehappy:

This is probably one of the funniest stories I've read in a while!

1379962 Absolutely. This will not be a one of a kind. I am focused on the main story (heh, mane... I've done that too lately...) but Starlight Over Detrot is the primary focus.

1379927 I was on a health food kick the week before and picked up a hot pepper from the local health food joint. That and Wreckless Eating inspired this heavily. Go check out their Youtube channel!


1379965 Chyeah, Luna hiccups are best hiccups.

-Chessie

Nice story, but you'll have to work on Luna's archaic speech, there really is a system to it.

You, dear sister, are sometimes absolutely disgusting.

Sister, we art/are warning thee!

It is thine fault sister. Which I think is more accurate than thy, though I'm not too sure on this one.

And Luna, peeing in the garden, I approve.

Yeah, there is definitely a 'system'. Still working on fixing that. A guide to 'How Luna Speaks' would be very helpful. 1380019

-Chessie

A reverse friendship report? Studio B needs to make this happen! Not THIS plot specifically, of course, but one where the Princesses learn a lesson in friendship.

this reminds me of those habanero peppers. those things are monstrously HOT :rainbowwild: yet if you wait long enough the heat, while it doesn't really fade, starts to not be all that bad really... then again it could've also been the fact that it burnt my tongue/mouth big time too o.O

still, there are some spicy foods out there that can be REALLY painful as far as the heat goes.

1380530 Aaaagreed. That would be an awesome thing to see.

1381031 Habanero peppers are super mild. They're incredibly gentle compared to peppers like the Moruga Scorpion (which, surprisingly, isn't the hottest pepper on earth). I was pretty twisted when I heard that.

-Chessie

1381152 Oh yeah, just try a ghost pepper. One shudders at the consequences.

Featured. Will read this sometime.

“C-could you ask your sister t-to go to the bathroom in the toilet instead of in the garden?”

Well, plumbing 1,000 years ago was almost non-existent. Besides, horse manure is good fertilizer. The manure of a goddess is probably even better!

1381164 No, sir. I don't like it! Seriously though, would not do Ghost Chili Peppers. Could not. Would not. On a car, nor a train, nor boat, nor plane.

1381256 Yeah, I wondered if that was a bit risque but it was too funny not to include.

-Chessie

1381324

And I almost didn't believe you. Holy buck.

--CEO Kasen

1379111

How about "Twilight Sparkle and the Heated Debate?"

1381462 Heh, I've been thinking our next short may be something simple. Pinkie Pie is challenged by the Flim Flam brothers to an eating contest for ownership of Sugar Cube Corner!

-Chessie

(eats a pepper) hm...not so bad(melts) its just a flesh wound...(turns into ash) these princesses are wimps
I like it, now I demand more from you or else...(holds up death pepper)

Hot peppers used to settle political disputes?


Seems legit. I'm all for it!

1381499 More is coming.

1381558 It would make the Presidential Debates a lot funnier...

-Chessie

1381567

Oh, heck yeah! I'd actually WATCH them if they did this sort of thing.

1381610 My brain hurts now...

-Chessie

"Thou, dear sister, are sometimes absolutely disgusting! Let these new night crew ponies get some experience on a properly befouled room after thou hath spent a few nights in it so they can serve us properly!" -> "art" and "hast".
"Sister, we are warning thou!" -> "thee"

1381638 Gotta get my editor on this.

-Chessie

HAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!:rainbowlaugh: OH FAUST........OH CELESTIA....PLEASE.......MY SIDES.......I...I....I CAN"T BREATH!!!!


Thank You so much CEOKasen and Chessie....I so needed a laugh today......This was just to awesome for words! This is most certainly a fave!

deviantart.com/download/287952535/princess_celestia_approved_by_ambris-d4rftlj.png

Oh man! my sides are still hurting:rainbowlaugh:. This story is great. I know that its over but I cant help but wonder how Celestia and Luna fared the next day. After all, those really hot peppers tend to burn twice, if you know what I mean!:trollestia: And I loved the bit about Luna using the garden in the mornings. Very well done!

1378777

What did I tell ya? "X does Y" makes it onto the featured page once again!

Want a way to make it on there again? Then here are one of four things you can do to get on it.

1) Make it stupid
2) Make it a 2nd person clopfic
3) Make it a "X does Y" story again
4) Make it sad and believable

Do one of these and it seems to never fails, that's why you never see anything else up there. :ajbemused:

1381687 Awww, you're welcome. I'm glad we could make your day a little better.

1381688 Do you reeeally want to know? Like, really?
Also, would you want to be the gardener being that Celestia hasn't likely spoken to Luna about modern plumbing by tomorrow morning?

1381694 One day we'll get Starlight Over Detrot back up there. One day!

-Chessie

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