• Member Since 11th Jan, 2019
  • offline last seen 18 minutes ago

Gay For Gadot

Just a lesbian with a laptop.


Limestone Pie takes her youngest sister to the Peaks of Peril in search of something important. Marble Pie finds something else.

Collaboration with Short-tale. Based off the prompts "You Shouldn't Let Kirins Lie To You" and "From A Certain Point of View" from Bean's Writing Group Discord server. Thanks to Bean, RDT, Techno Flare, Thesmokingguy, Mykola, and Sledge115 for their feedback.

Chapters (2)
Comments ( 24 )


Thanks! Glad you enjoyed it. :twilightsmile:

This was a good look at the two of them :twilightsmile: I completely understand Limestone's frustration with Autumn, but Marble's with Limestone too. I particularly liked the joke about the wedding night.

“Something tells me Pinkie just didn’t hear about this place from her friends.”

I think 'didn't just' would work better here than 'just didn't'?

So many cross-currents hinted at! A wonderful concept and an interesting execution. Emotionally it does seem a bit muted, and I’m not sure the two narratives quite jibe, but nonetheless worthy of an upvote and adding to the “recommended stories” bookshelf. :heart:


Whoops! Yup, that's what was meant. Thanks for the catch. :twilightsmile: Glad you enjoyed the story, and that the "wedding night" joke landed!


Thanks Dave! Appreciate the feedback. :twilightsmile:

These Kirin were annoying.

The one who had greeted them with a song just wouldn’t shut up. What was her name? Autumn-something? Whatever. Didn’t matter.

You shut up. Autumn Blaze is adorable!

This is a nice story and I never considered Marble being mute.

So sweetly done, and I'm willing to bet you won't give us an answer as to what happened after. You monster, that was good. I love stories like this, where it explores the nature of the titles and roles we give ourselves, and how they can can keep us from what we want. This is a nice take on it.

We will never tell. Bwa ha ha ha. But I am glad you liked it. Thanks for reading.:yay:

Very cute story, good work
...Now that being said, I'm sure the story is the embodiement of "Its not about the destination, its the journey we took to get there that matters", but I personally think the 2nd chapter should have actually continued on with the ending of the first chapter, rather then end on what im pretty sure is the EXACT SAME sentence as the 1st did.

Well the premise of the second story was more that there was another story happening simultaneously from Marble’s point of view. If I started on the end of the last one it’s just a continuation. You wouldn’t see how the perceptions of the two different characters shifted the story. That’s what I was curious to explore. I hoped you liked it nonetheless.

Even interesting enough that I picked it from the main folder for a review:twilightsmile:

My Little Reviews & Feedback



Glad you thought so! Thanks again for the review! :twilightsmile:

This made me feel feelings.

Oh dear. Limestone's being a good big sister, even if she's struggling with her innate Limestone-ness.

Marble's PoV doesn't quite turn the story upside down, but it shows us how, in a way, Limestone is more invested in finding the cure than Marble herself. And how Marble would love to see her sister focus more on herself.

Leaving the ending open like this... yeah, I think that is the best choice.

When Marble looked up from the ground, gave her that trademark smile, and replied, “Mm-hmm,” Limestone felt the happiest she’d been in a long time.

Aww! This is the first time I’ve seen adult Limestone happy not at the expense of somepony else, and it’s sweet to see.

Finally, Autumn-something circled them back to the entrance of the village. Right where they began. “So, that’s everything! What do you think of my ‘Welcome to our village’ song? Too fast? Too slow? Too steady of tempo? Oh, how I missed rhymes so much! Even after being able to talk for months now, I just can’t—”

I can just hear Autumn Blaze in this.

Like cracking a geode, there were some things that required a gentle hoof. Lest it be shattered, and gone forever. And Limestone, no matter how delicate she tried to step, had always been too heavy-hoofed.

This paints a sad picture of Limestone. She is very much aware of her social shortcomings but doesn’t seem to know how to overcome them to be a more positive part of the lives of the ponies around her. #relatable

“Given our village’s checkered history with anger, our aid comes with one condition.”

I really liked this, connecting the kirins’ history with Limestone’s issues. It feels very fantasy-story, a great fit for the MLP setting.

Limestone had never laughed at that. For her, it was some sort of injustice the universe had done to her little sister. Something that she intended to correct. Or, at least, that’s what it seemed like to Marble.

It really does make sense that just as Pinkie and Maud are closer to and more protective of each other than their other two sisters, the same is true the other way.

Marble felt herself blushing further as she realized what this would mean for her older sister. Some part of her giggled at the misinterpretation. Then, when Limestone began to talk about feeling left behind by her younger sisters, her smile fell. Limestone even mentioned using the Choosing Stone. Marble just assured her to hold out a little longer.

Oof, I am so sad for both Marble and Limestone here

Soon, the siblings found a large, bannered arch marking the entrance of the Kirin village. If Marble didn’t know any better, she would have sworn Pinkie had hung it. But her twin’s hoofwriting was different.

Another nice touch of Marble being much more observant than her sister.

“Please,” she said, “my sister has been through so much on my behalf. She’s so focused on a cure that she’s not noticing those around her. Like the farmhoof who likes her, or even me. Help me speak so she can start living. Please.”

This is just heartbreaking…

Yet, she sadly watched as Limestone agreed for them. The Kirin hastily prepared the flowers for the tea, then gave her a steaming cup.

As is this. It’s so much worse that Limestone really does think she is doing the best she can for Marble’s sake. And I feel this connects to the earlier thing about Limestone thinking of Marble’s muteness as an injustice done by the universe. She is focused on the muteness beyond actually considering what Marble might need or want, which I suppose also makes ableism a theme of this story as well.

I really liked this. The two other Pie sisters always fascinated me beyond their one-note characterizations, and this is an excellent exploration of their dynamic and relationship to each other, perfectly fitting the canon depiction while adding a real depth. Did I mention that I really liked this?

It’s interesting to see how living in a magical world would make Limestone stuck in the perspective that Marble is not suffering from a psychological or other, non-magic disability and the toll it takes on the two sisters.

This was a really strong way to use the species and setting from a one-off episode I had no interest in and turn it into a excellent character portrait.

Too steady of tempo?

A good detail!

“There’s always the Choosing Stone, but, between you and me, I’d rather go out and find somepony.”



Rain Shine's disclaimer seemed delivered in a bit modern of a fashion although maybe it's a reaction to the "lying kirins" comment. I wonder what led the ponies to consider them to be liars? Were there many mute souls who failed to find healing in the kirin village? (Probably not, so...) Were there odd cultural misunderstandings related to trade?

you must leave the village at once—to never return.”

A bit of an overreaction but given their village's history with extreme solutions, it is an understandable (but foolish) ultimatum. (kirins, will you never learn!) :raritydespair:

(Reviewed due to the Comment Club entry)
I was a bit put-off at first that the second chapter was not a traditional chapter (I thought some mistake had been made and flipped back and forth to figure out what was going on since I was getting deja vu). I also wanted to see the resolution (I realize you intended to leave the outcome of this potential "miracle cure" open-ended (maybe you were going for the feeling of hope/a journey/etc., which you did hit) but I'd still rather have seen a resolution--there's no catharsis--this story is a scene, a hope, a feeling.)

HOWEVER, putting that aside since the point wasn't to have a resolution, once I realized the second chapter was the first chapter re-told through Marble's eyes, I appreciated that aspect of what you were doing here. :twilightsheepish: It's not something often done in fiction and is a blessing that can be done in a format like this. Congratulations on using this format well! :twilightsmile: Since this is a collaboration, I suspect that each chapter was separately written by a different primary author, but the styles seemed to meld into a single one--congratulations.

The little details in how Marble and Limestone differ in their perception of the world and their situation are very well done. I like your characterizations of both. e.g. perceptions like: sheepish Marble sees Rain Shine as the

mighty matriarch

and practical Limestone sees her as

Full of might and magic,

Speaking of destinations/journeys, it seems like Limestone is about the destination and Marble is about the journey.

Thank you--I enjoyed experiencing this glimmer of the journey that these two were on and I certainly upvoted it! :twilightsmile:

I suggest to unify these spellings:

cup of foals-breath



This review was hard to get into a concise form, so I apologize in advance if it is all garbled.

The sibling shenanigans are well done:

Limestone nudged her in the ribs. “Whoa, Marble! Save that kinda talk for the wedding night, alright?” With a bark of a chuckle, she added, “You’re gonna make me jealous! First Maud, now you? Before you know it, I’ll be the only Pie without a match!”

Love this dynamic. Gives more dimension to Limestone than just angy. Though, there is plenty of angy as well:

Even if Limestone had to bite her lip so much that she tasted blood.

I like this statement here. Could be an exaggeration, could be not!

Though her tone was quieter, the grinding of her teeth was definitely not.

And another one!

With a nod to Marble too!

Marble suspected the banner was her work after all.

Marble picks up on key details, doesn’t she?

Though she herself like the song, she knew what song from other ponies did to Limestone.

I wonder how things went with Pinkie and Limestone back at home. Also, if Marble gains her voice, she probably needs to warn the farmhoof to never sing Limestone a love song.

She was about to investigate when she stopped herself, waiting until her sister grabbed her again. Sure enough, Limestone did. Marble sighed.

She looked with longing at the strange items and fun things in the various shops.

Aww, get the poor mare a knickknack!

As the perspective shifts, the story trades dialogue for more narrative with Marble. Stylistically, this works perfect, as it contrasts between cacophony (from Autumn Blaze’s welcome song), and silence:

Limestone could feel the snap of muzzles turning around, the heat of eyes staring their way, the low gust of hush whispers passing under the light breeze.

The blood rushing in her ears rivaled the might of the stream.

Just like that, everything stood still. I also noticed that the temperament of the two sisters seems to mirror that of the two Kirin. Undoubtedly, the Kirin and the Pie sisters are kindred spirits.

Ultimately, you had me at heartbreak:

The Pie family had always teased her, saying that her twin, Pinkie, had stolen all her words in utero.

So much emotion conveyed in this one liner- joy- from family interactions, sadness for the condition of Marble, maybe anger at the injustice of it all.

The strain continued, wound like one taut string between her vocal cord and the world’s ears.

Clever use of ‘strain’- one, it’s Marble Straining her voice trying to express herself, and the other- strain as a musical phrase. Only for it to kick you in the feels with cruel dramatic irony:

“Please,” she said, “my sister has been through so much on my behalf. She’s so focused on a cure that she’s not noticing those around her. Like the farmhoof who likes her, or even me. Help me speak so she can start living. Please.”

Well done!

Login or register to comment