Journey
Marble stared with trepidation at the train ticket salespony. The twisted face smirked as they passed with an unpleasant gleam in his eye. She found herself cowering behind her mane, like she always did when somepony looked at her like that. He stared at her, expecting some sort of reaction. She couldn’t give him one other than fear.
As she always did, Limestone was quick to shield her from the stallion’s gaze. Marble sighed. Limestone acted this way with each new “miracle cure.” It gave her a goal. Gave her something else to focus on. Limestone didn’t have much, aside from the farm. She gave herself to it fully, except at times like this.
Marble was happy to go with Limestone on these little trips. She just wished it didn’t always have to be about her voice. Or the lack thereof.
Marble had always been mute. The doctors had never been able to explain why. The Pie family had always teased her, saying that her twin, Pinkie, had stolen all her words in utero.
Limestone had never laughed at that. For her, it was some sort of injustice the universe had done to her little sister. Something that she intended to correct. Or, at least, that’s what it seemed like to Marble.
Limestone and Marble walked through the unforgiving terrain of the Peaks of Peril. Marble looked at the ground, studying the rock formations in the dirt. She tried to determine the nearby topography based on the substance and the way it piled. Marble started to calculate the best route to avoid too much strain, while her sister marched on ahead, cutting through the dense foliage in the most direct path.
Marble could tell that this was a much more treacherous way. She tried to tell Limestone by touching her shoulder. Limestone turned, looked back, and smiled at her younger sister.
“So, what are you gonna talk about first? Or who are you gonna talk to? Maybe that one farmhoof who’s always too busy staring at you to get any work done?” Limestone teased.
Marble felt her face brightening. The farmhoof was a friend of Marble’s who liked to tell her his secrets. The biggest one was that he had a crush on Limestone, but didn’t know how to approach her. She wasn’t able to tell him how to go about it. If he could find a way, she hoped that this would make her sister finally take time for herself.
“Mm-hmm,” Marble admitted.
“I figured as much.”
Marble felt herself blushing further as she realized what this would mean for her older sister. Some part of her giggled at the misinterpretation. Then, when Limestone began to talk about feeling left behind by her younger sisters, her smile fell. Limestone even mentioned using the Choosing Stone. Marble just assured her to hold out a little longer.
Soon, the siblings found a large, bannered arch marking the entrance of the Kirin village. If Marble didn’t know any better, she would have sworn Pinkie had hung it. But her twin’s hoofwriting was different.
Limestone snorted at the colorful display. “Something tells me Pinkie didn't just hear about this place from her friends.”
Shaking her head, Marble followed Limestone in. She gazed in awe at all the Kirin moving throughout the small village. All the quaint shops with their hoofmade wares. The impressive river that rushed through the serene village, which produced a pleasant babble that calmed her nerves.
Marble watched in continued amazement as the Kirin around them descended from stairs that led to houses built out of living trees. She wondered if trees could be more comfortable to sleep in than rocks. The air smelled so different here. It wasn’t like anything they had back home. The trees rustled as the breeze played through her mane. For a moment, both of her eyes were visible and she could see so clearly.
She could feel her heart flutter and her breathing increase, her body becoming alert and alive to all the glorious sounds and views of this wondrous place. The birds chirped merrily. The flowers filled the air with their soft fragrance. Small Kirin foals chased each other around the village. Marble could scarcely believe such a community could ever exist.
“Who do we need to talk to about...” Limestone interrupted her reverie with her typical demanding grunt.
Before she could finish her question, a tan ball of energy bounced excitedly in front of them. “Hi, I’m Autumn Blaze! Welcome to Kirin Village, home of the wonderful Kirins! Make yourself at home! Ooh, wait! You don’t know where anything is. I’ll show you around! But first, here’s our ‘Welcome to Kirin Village’ song!”
Autumn Blaze broke out into a welcome song that seemed very Pinkie. Marble suspected the banner was her work after all.
As the song continued, Marble’s ears flopped back. She hid underneath her mane. Though she herself liked the song, she knew what songs from other ponies did to Limestone. Placing a reassuring forehoof on her sister’s back, she watched as the irate pony quaked in rage—but remained silent.
The song reached its zenith at a shrill, high note that Autumn had no business hitting. But it finished.
Limestone hadn’t moved. Marble could see her chest heaving. Luckily, she didn’t explode.
Marble breathed a sigh of relief. She then found herself drawn to a nearby stall with beautiful blue flowers. The green Kirin behind the stall smiled as she approached. The salespony placed the spied flowers out wordlessly, allowing Marble to get a good look at them. She was about to sniff them when a warm, grey forehoof dragged her away.
“Er, nice song, I guess,” Limestone began with an awkward cough. “But we’re looking for—”
“Comedy!” Autumn Blaze grinned. “You want to know where the Kirin laugh our troubles away, don’t you? Come on!”
“Wait, no—”
Marble and Limestone were dragged to the next spot in the circular centre of the village. Marble stood at the end of an open amphitheater filed with seats. She could picture the Kirin filling those seats while laughing at Pinkie’s antics. It reminded her of how desolate her farm was in comparison.
Onstage, there was a group of Kirin dressed in strange black-and-white-striped attire. She watched in fascination as they seemed to communicate with each other without any words. She took a step to get a closer look when Limestone grabbed her again.
“This is, uh, something, but we came for—”
“Flowers!” Autumn cut in.
Limestone nodded. “Yeah, the blue—”
“And flowers need vases! Over here, we have the best vases in all of Equestria! They’re hoofmade by Bamble Brook. Which I thought was ironic because of, you know, what happened.” Autumn giggled. “Come on!”
The sisters were dragged off to the next stall. Marble walked over to the various pots, bowls and pottery. All of them bore such fragile-looking designs. She tentatively poked one with her forehoof. The design held. The small black strokes on the glaze reminded Marble of cracks in the ice.
Bamble Brook smiled and pushed the item towards her to let her get a closer look. He didn’t ask her any questions at all. She noted a particularly interesting piece when she felt her sister’s hooves on her again.
“Now, look, Autumn what’s-your-name! We’re just here to see—”
Limestone was starting to get heated. Marble watched the bounding Kirin, hoping that she would understand the not-so-subtle clues that meant a volcano was about to erupt. Didn’t these Kirin burst into flames when they got angry? Couldn’t they tell that somepony was about to explode?
Autumn continued to hop around them, asking next, “How about knickknacks? I mean, what does that even mean? I know what a ‘nick’ is, and some have a knack for singing and comedy and plays and parties! But does anypony have a knack for nicking?”
Muttering more musings to herself, Autumn pushed the ponies from behind this time. They came to a stop in front of a shop filled with strange items and little wooden figures.
“Tchotchke here makes the most intricate and beautiful things to fill up all your windowsills, mantles, bathrooms, sinks, kitchen, and even your bedroom table!” Autumn declared, introducing them to another friendly Kirin.
Marble looked at a little carved figure of a bear. She was about to investigate when she stopped herself, waiting until her sister grabbed her again. Sure enough, Limestone did. Marble sighed.
Autumn Blaze danced her way back to the entrance of the village. Marble looked all around at the wonder before them… and the stern face of her sister. She looked with longing at the strange items and fun things in the various shops. Then, she looked at Limestone, whose eyes never moved from Autumn.
Marble was about to try and tell Limestone to back off when the farmpony finally exploded. Marble instinctively hid behind her mane.
“Enough!” Limestone stomped a hoof with enough force that every Kirin turned to stare at them.
Just as Limestone was about to reveal the reason for their visit, Marble stood up. She laid a calming forehoof on her sister’s shoulder, watching as she simmered down to a mere bubbling rather than a huge eruption .
“Where are the flowers?” Limestone’s gritted teeth sounded like they were scraping across stone. “They’re the whole reason we came here. Not your stupid song and dance...” Limestone was about to say more when she glanced at Marble.
“The flowers?” Autumn tilted her head. “Oh! The foal’s-breath flowers!”
Shortly after, Autumn pointed a forehoof past them. Marble followed her line of sight and saw, to her amazement and annoyance, the same flowers that Limestone had first pulled her away from. She looked at her sister as Autumn asked what they were for.
Limestone dug at the ground and glanced at Marble. The well-rehearsed, tired speech hung on her sister’s lips.
Marble hated this part. This was the part where Limestone would tell them that she was mute. That they couldn’t explain why. Then these creatures, too, would look at her with pity. They had such happy faces when she saw them before they knew. Soon, Limestone would take that away from her, too.
“My sister...”
A forehoof to Limestone’s shoulder stopped her.
Marble Pie had enough. The timid mare trotted towards the confused Kirin and told them.
“Please,” she said, “my sister has been through so much on my behalf. She’s so focused on a cure that she’s not noticing those around her. Like the farmhoof who likes her, or even me. Help me speak so she can start living. Please.”
Marble could feel the tear roll down her cheek as the Kirin stared at her. She could feel Limestone’s wide, lime-green eyes on her. She could feel herself collapse at Autumn’s hooves as the tirade took its toll.
Marble had tried hard, but she was still a mute. All the Kirin and her sister had heard was “Mmmm mmm mmm.”
A large Kirin walked towards them. The others parted a way for her as she arrived. Marble noted that she had such a kind face, looking at them with such concern and care. She didn’t have the pity the other Kirin faces displayed.
As she looked at Limestone, her expression hardened. “We shall give you the tea from the foal’s-breath flowers, but we can make no guarantees of a cure.” The mighty matriarch looked down at Marble. Her eyes shone with curiosity. “The waters of the Stream of Silence do not run past our village. We can take no responsibility for—”
“I know it’s not your fault!” Limestone shouted. Marble could see the veins bulging from her neck. “B-but if you could give an entire village their voices back with a lousy cup of tea, you should be able to—”
Thunder clapped throughout the village as the large Kirin’s horn burst into flame. She took a deep breath. Then, the flame extinguished. “We don’t know that, young one. We will do our best to help you, but we shall make no promises.”
Marble watched the stone face return to the Kirin as her figure went rigid. She glared at the farmpony. “Given our village’s checkered history with anger, our aid comes with one condition. We will make the tea for your sister. If it fails to heal her, you must leave the village at once—to never return.”
Marble gasped. This village was so nice and treated her with such warmth. Even the bouncing Autumn Blaze had been nice to her.
Yet, she sadly watched as Limestone agreed for them. The Kirin hastily prepared the flowers for the tea, then gave her a steaming cup.
As she lifted the cup to her lips, she looked into Limestone’s pleading face, and hoped.
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10649709
Thanks! Glad you enjoyed it.
This was a good look at the two of them
I completely understand Limestone's frustration with Autumn, but Marble's with Limestone too. I particularly liked the joke about the wedding night.
I think 'didn't just' would work better here than 'just didn't'?
So many cross-currents hinted at! A wonderful concept and an interesting execution. Emotionally it does seem a bit muted, and I’m not sure the two narratives quite jibe, but nonetheless worthy of an upvote and adding to the “recommended stories” bookshelf.
10649789
Whoops! Yup, that's what was meant. Thanks for the catch.
Glad you enjoyed the story, and that the "wedding night" joke landed!
10649792
Thanks Dave! Appreciate the feedback.
This is a nice story and I never considered Marble being mute.
So sweetly done, and I'm willing to bet you won't give us an answer as to what happened after. You monster, that was good. I love stories like this, where it explores the nature of the titles and roles we give ourselves, and how they can can keep us from what we want. This is a nice take on it.
10650812
We will never tell. Bwa ha ha ha. But I am glad you liked it. Thanks for reading.
Very cute story, good work
...Now that being said, I'm sure the story is the embodiement of "Its not about the destination, its the journey we took to get there that matters", but I personally think the 2nd chapter should have actually continued on with the ending of the first chapter, rather then end on what im pretty sure is the EXACT SAME sentence as the 1st did.
10651059
Well the premise of the second story was more that there was another story happening simultaneously from Marble’s point of view. If I started on the end of the last one it’s just a continuation. You wouldn’t see how the perceptions of the two different characters shifted the story. That’s what I was curious to explore. I hoped you liked it nonetheless.
Interesting
Even interesting enough that I picked it from the main folder for a review
My Little Reviews & Feedback
10662680
10662782
Glad you thought so! Thanks again for the review!
This made me feel feelings.
Marble's PoV doesn't quite turn the story upside down, but it shows us how, in a way, Limestone is more invested in finding the cure than Marble herself. And how Marble would love to see her sister focus more on herself.
Leaving the ending open like this... yeah, I think that is the best choice.
It really does make sense that just as Pinkie and Maud are closer to and more protective of each other than their other two sisters, the same is true the other way.
Oof, I am so sad for both Marble and Limestone here
Another nice touch of Marble being much more observant than her sister.
This is just heartbreaking…
As is this. It’s so much worse that Limestone really does think she is doing the best she can for Marble’s sake. And I feel this connects to the earlier thing about Limestone thinking of Marble’s muteness as an injustice done by the universe. She is focused on the muteness beyond actually considering what Marble might need or want, which I suppose also makes ableism a theme of this story as well.
I really liked this. The two other Pie sisters always fascinated me beyond their one-note characterizations, and this is an excellent exploration of their dynamic and relationship to each other, perfectly fitting the canon depiction while adding a real depth. Did I mention that I really liked this?
It’s interesting to see how living in a magical world would make Limestone stuck in the perspective that Marble is not suffering from a psychological or other, non-magic disability and the toll it takes on the two sisters.
This was a really strong way to use the species and setting from a one-off episode I had no interest in and turn it into a excellent character portrait.
A review for YOU.
(Reviewed due to the Comment Club entry)
I was a bit put-off at first that the second chapter was not a traditional chapter (I thought some mistake had been made and flipped back and forth to figure out what was going on since I was getting deja vu). I also wanted to see the resolution (I realize you intended to leave the outcome of this potential "miracle cure" open-ended (maybe you were going for the feeling of hope/a journey/etc., which you did hit) but I'd still rather have seen a resolution--there's no catharsis--this story is a scene, a hope, a feeling.)
HOWEVER, putting that aside since the point wasn't to have a resolution, once I realized the second chapter was the first chapter re-told through Marble's eyes, I appreciated that aspect of what you were doing here.
It's not something often done in fiction and is a blessing that can be done in a format like this. Congratulations on using this format well! 
Since this is a collaboration, I suspect that each chapter was separately written by a different primary author, but the styles seemed to meld into a single one--congratulations.
The little details in how Marble and Limestone differ in their perception of the world and their situation are very well done. I like your characterizations of both. e.g. perceptions like: sheepish Marble sees Rain Shine as the
and practical Limestone sees her as
Speaking of destinations/journeys, it seems like Limestone is about the destination and Marble is about the journey.
Thank you--I enjoyed experiencing this glimmer of the journey that these two were on and I certainly upvoted it!
---
I suggest to unify these spellings:
Ch1:
Ch2:
This review was hard to get into a concise form, so I apologize in advance if it is all garbled.
The sibling shenanigans are well done:
Love this dynamic. Gives more dimension to Limestone than just angy. Though, there is plenty of angy as well:
I like this statement here. Could be an exaggeration, could be not!
And another one!
With a nod to Marble too!
Marble picks up on key details, doesn’t she?
I wonder how things went with Pinkie and Limestone back at home. Also, if Marble gains her voice, she probably needs to warn the farmhoof to never sing Limestone a love song.
Aww, get the poor mare a knickknack!
As the perspective shifts, the story trades dialogue for more narrative with Marble. Stylistically, this works perfect, as it contrasts between cacophony (from Autumn Blaze’s welcome song), and silence:
Just like that, everything stood still. I also noticed that the temperament of the two sisters seems to mirror that of the two Kirin. Undoubtedly, the Kirin and the Pie sisters are kindred spirits.
Ultimately, you had me at heartbreak:
So much emotion conveyed in this one liner- joy- from family interactions, sadness for the condition of Marble, maybe anger at the injustice of it all.
Clever use of ‘strain’- one, it’s Marble Straining her voice trying to express herself, and the other- strain as a musical phrase. Only for it to kick you in the feels with cruel dramatic irony:
Well done!