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Before the sun rises, the last priest of the last Church of Equus performs an important ritual. Unlike most of his services, he does not do so alone.
Based off a prompt from Bean's Writing Group Discord server, "Beautiful Sunrise". Thanks to Bean, Mykola, RDT, Shirlendra, RanOutOfIdeas, and Thesmokingguy for their feedback.
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This was a wonderful story! I’m a little ashamed to say I’m glad I was here before it got sent to the featured page
As for the prediction I’m guessing if this isn’t up on the featured page later tonight then possibly early tomorrow!
Who could have thought that one serpentine boy disrupting a religious rite could lead to such deep, powerful conclusion at the end? The brief talk about reverence is something else, moreso how seamlessly it is weaved into the story and leads to a natural wrap up at the end.
Not a lot that i havent said already, but swell job as usual. Didnt expect anything less from you~
Also, happy new year! even though you are many hours away from escaping 2020
Color me pleasently surprised. Based on the description, I thought this was going to be a ponified version of The Last Church which suffice to say had a far less happy ending.
Short and sweet. It’s an intriguing concept and an interesting look at the possibility of Discord harboring hidden depths.
I would have been disappointed if you wrote this and weren't satisified. Bravo.
Interesting take for sure. But this is 100% based on The Last Church from the Horus Heresy novel series. Whether that's on purpose or not is another story.
But there it is 😎. It's not a perfect pony copy of it for sure. But they share quite a bit.
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Considering the fact that this didn't end with Celestia and/or Luna burning the church to the ground with the priest inside, I respectfully disagree.
Glad to see this up, huzzah!
I hadn't had much to say on this, between my schedule and that, well, everyone's got it covered, but this was an intriguing story out of the prompt. Especially loved how Discord, with all his quirks and depth, is portrayed here, heh.
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So I had to do a bit of Googling to find out what was being referenced here. Not into Warhammer 40K at all, nor have I heard of this story before. This prompt was actually an idea I've had for some time—the idea of incorporating religion into pony in a way that doesn't completely break the setting or devolve into authorial proselytizing.
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I'm glad you enjoyed it!
I'm surprised to say that you are correct, and that this story already is Featured! Wasn't expecting that from this little prompt.
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Thanks again for your feedback, Smokey! Happy New Year to you! I've still got eight more hours left in this wretched year, but it'll be over soon!
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Thanks Dave! Glad you enjoyed it.
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Glad this experiment was a success, then.
Thanks!
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Thanks, Sledge! I'm glad the prompt experiment worked with this one.
Consecrated weapon. Also, in a place that reveres Harmony to such an extent, equating Discord with the Devil both amuses me and shocks me that I've never seen it before. Well done.
This is a pleasant touch, to have holy objects, even sown with disharmony, gathering to pay tribute to the service.
I'm always happy to see religion pop up in a fantasy setting. It's something I see so rarely, and even then sometimes doesn't get the proper treatment, that I admire you for touching on these themes. Thank you.
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Thanks for the catch! Fixed.
Glad you enjoyed the story. Thanks for reading!
Maybe I am not well-versed in religion, but I don't quite get the ending. Was Celestia dead? What did Discord mean when he said "not after what I became"?
Awesome story the religion story was cool😁
There’s a reference I don’t know
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No, Celestia wasn't dead. The story ends with them watching Celestia raise the sun together. As far as for what Discord said, that bit, along with him saying Celestia used to be important to him, was a hint towards a pre-chaos-takeover relationship (back before Nightmare Moon as well) he had with Celly, which would have been friendship or otherwise. Originally, I had this spelled out more explicitly, but decided to make a bit more vague to fit in with the mystical vibe of the piece and leave it more for the reader to decide.
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Thanks! Glad you enjoyed it.
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What reference is that?
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I see. My guess did go a little toward that but I got a little confused there because they were talking as if Celestia was dead, so I was not sure if you were implying Discord turned crazy and took down Celestia.
Just my overthinking conspiracy theorist mind.
Going to have to hop aboard the "I don't get it" train. It's a pleasant story, but if there's some deeper meaning here, I'm not seeing it.
"Priest made peace with the devil, the devil had mellowed by this time, and they shared a nice moment of reverence together, the end."
Is there some deeper metaphor here that I'm just not getting?
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Nope, that's pretty much it!
Alondro smirks, "In many cultures, for thousands of years, they worshiped the rulers they routinely saw with their own eyes, who often DIED before they did! I would think that actually SEEING a being live for over a thousand years, who physically MOVES THE SUN with her own power would tend to lead to even MORE worship than we ever had on Earth. I tend to find that people in this highly self-delusional modern age wish to believe themselves to be little gods beholden only to themselves even as the universe casually flings black holes about, with energies beyond the comprehension of 99.999999999999999999999999999999999999999% of the mortal life on this planet, and utterly exceeding everything, the planet itself included in destructive capability."
When one knows as much as Alondro, one finds it wise to bow to a being that actually IS a god in every way, shape and form, for such people KNOW they are dust in the wind, and those beings are the ones blowing it.
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I'm more surprised they have a consecrated weapon at all.
And that the triad is fire, water, a sword instead of something that scans to the tribes.
Very interesting, regardless.
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"Priest made peace with the devil, the devil had mellowed by this time, and they shared a nice moment of reverence together, the end."
This is a good summation but if you are looking for some deeper meaning there is some to unpack here. The devil here could symbolize modernity. The priests church is empty and his congregation is moving on. Instead of anger and lashing out he sees the good in it. A congregation of 1 or 1000 he does his duties, and even for the "devil" (modernity) he can take time to be there when needed. There is worth in tradition but there is no failure in being replaced. The old generations will always have to make way for the new, and in sitting quietly with the devil and watching a new day be born, he takes joy in that rebirth.
At first, judging by the description, I thought this would be a pony version of The Last Church, like this fic.
This was really good regardless.
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Glad you enjoyed it!
Hello! A review for this story has been posted in the Reviewer's Mansion group. I hope you find it helpful.
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Wow! This was beyond helpful. Thank you so much, Jarvy! Really appreciate the time you took to analyze and review this little story of mine.
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Thank you for giving me the opportunity! This story was an atmospheric triumph.
This was a beautiful piece. Something on the Celestian religion that actually invokes feelings of religion.
For some reason it really reminds me of the Mainline Protestant churches in the United States. Old buildings, old priests, and empty pews. But there is something beautiful there. All of the meaning of what these institutions once were, distilled and concentrated into what little remains. In parallel, the rituals as well, denied their central role as the stuff holding the social fabric together, discard their earthly attachments and are also distilled down to their true meaning.
Then the religion itself will die, as all things do and are but newborns as old as the cultural contexts they are experienced in, but that does not matter. It was meaningful for those who lived in its time, including the gods, and that was the value. The courage to be, until we are no more.
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Thanks! I'm glad the piece accomplished what I was hoping it would.
That's basically what I based it on, so I'm glad to hear that came across.
Amen to that.
Between work and writing, I hadn't had a chance to sit and read this all the way through (although I started a few times) but I'm glad I finally sat down and finished it. This is, by far, my favorite story you've written. The quiet, somber mood, and the way Waddle so idly converses with Discord gives the story a sense of quiet melancholy that appeals deeply to me. The gentle musings on religion and faith told in so few words really is a talent that needs more appreciation. The last few paragraphs definitely bring the story home in the same way a song hits that last note perfectly, and you managed to capture so much mystique in such a small space here.
Really excellent work.
It's hard to imagine religion being able to wax and wane in a world with literal, living gods one can meet. Nevertheless, there's a lot of powerful stuff in here, and it's a world I would hope you would revisit soon.
Especially because I spied that DisLestia.There aren't a lot of stories on the site that treat such things so seriously or with such eloquence, and this was a really beautiful piece. Discord was in top form here. Nowhere did it feel like his character or might was lessened for the sake of anything else.Though, I'm not sure what the title translates to.
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The title is Latin for "To Speak The Truth In Love," which is a paraphrase of Ephesians 4:15.
Thanks for all the recent comments! I'm glad you enjoyed the latest batch of Gadot stories.
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Pls bake more batches 🙏
I liked this story it was very short and sweet. Didn't get it right away but it finally came to me. I would love a return to this universe some time. I mean it doesn't have to be a direct sequel but something else set in this universe.
Just a thought.
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Glad you enjoyed it! I may return to this idea/universe at some point, but no promises.
My Little Reviews & Feedback I review your story take a look. :3
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Thanks!
Howdy, hi!
I'm not much for stories with religious overtones but this one really hit a sweet spot for me. The theming of the cathedral and Waddles being the last priest of the church is such an interesting concept plus the near mythological vibe of the piece just gives this really warm feeling to the whole narrative that I truly appreciate.
You really struck a good characterization of Discord. Him still being his wacky self but also having that introspective part that really ties the whole piece together. This story was just super enjoyable to read.
Thank you for the piece!
It makes sense that the show never got too deep into religion. Not only is it a heavy topic for a kid's show, but the way the lore works in MLP does imply that Celestia and Luna are deified to some extent. This is an interesting way of poking at that concept. There must be a different texture to a religion where the gods objectively exist and you can can talk to them personally.
I appreciate the discord characterization here. Some fic writers have issues translating him to the page, but he managed to be alive without getting bogged down with explanations.
I'm not a religious person, but I can see the appeal of faith, and the attitude Waddle takes toward it is something I can sympathize with.
Focused, engaging, and thought provoking. There isn't much more I can hope for from a one-shot. Nice work!
I've not really seen much written about Mr. Waddle, so this was an interesting read. Somehow, him and Discord work so well together, and I can't exactly put my hoof on why. Maybe it's the parallel of a religious pony conversing with a god, or maybe it's just their attitudes, but there's something special there that I never saw coming.
Your prose is amazing, possibly the best I've ever read. The description of the smoke is gorgeous, and the fire is similarly great. It's such a mystical, but grounded window into a daily routine.
Discord is interesting, and bear with me because I'm not religious so I could be taking this the wrong way. I feel like this is supposed to be a story about accepting religion, which is all the more of a complicated predicament when the pony he's supposedly praying to for atonement is someone he's known in the past. To him, I guess it's like his way of apologizing, because as we all know, Discord isn't exactly the type of person to speak his deeper thought on a whim. There's a lot of wisdom to be deciphered from this, and you do so much with so little. The ending especially intrigues me.
This story could have a set message or moral, but considering the topic of the story, I don't think that's something for us to know. We just have to make our own answers. Bravo!
Well, this was interesting.
On one side we have Waddle, a priest in MLP lore, and you do a great job translating the actual practice to a world where gods are in many ways equal to the gods they worship. Were this not the first time I see him characterized, I would say this is my favorite interpretation of him and the matter.
On the other we have Discord, who I find to be a bit more of antagonistic than usual with Waddle, but considering the talk right at the end, I can see that it's Discords own way of coping, and centered with the pony who would give him some kind of answer.
Both combined make for an interesting exploration of pony religion and a hint of something more, which i found really interesting.
Good job, Gadot
You're goddamn right, because you should be
. Such a lovely, atmospheric piece, Gadot. I think you mentioned that you wrote this based on personal experience, and it shows! Religion is always a fickle thing to portray, yet here you translated it perfectly to MLP, heh. You didn't just shove it into the world, you've woven it in. And it works.
Discord is on his A-game here, as I've mentioned. His banter with Waddle is great, yet he's not just portrayed as lolrandom, and neither is Waddle someone helpless in the face of a trickster. There's depth to the two of them, from the way Discord reflects on his shared past with Celestia, to Waddle resolutely carrying out his duties as the Church grows smaller still - and of course, that lovely final exchange.
I don't know why I didn't favourite this the first time, but now I have
Kudos!
I agree with a previous reviewer that one doesn't often see religion treated in a fantasy setting, and it's always good to see it treated respectfully.
Growing up in an extremely low-church Protestant culture, I have come to appreciate the place of highly ritualized liturgical religion as well. It's good to see it here (though the service was a bit short).
Good work!
I don't think this needs the alternate universe tag.