• Member Since 9th Oct, 2017
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Nailah


Pineapple Love. Beloved Mare. Follow me on Discord: Godfrog#4197 Support me on: My patreon https://ko-fi.com/nailah

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The day after Hearthswarming, Marble and the others return to the Rock farm, and Marble ends up crying in the arms of her sister. Will her sisters be able to show the mare she is loved even if it's not the love she was searching for?

Preread by: Zontan, Koren, Ruby, The Red Parade, Krazy, TheLegendaryBillcipher, and Drider.
Thanks to the Quills and Sofa writers for always encouraging me to put these story ideas up long after the contest is over.
Edited by: Ruby.

Art credit to: https://www.deviantart.com/zodiaczero/art/Limestone-And-Marble-Pie-568189767

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 9 )

I like this one, it channels the feeling I had when Big Mac choose Sugerbelle, I felt so sorry for Marble. Also thank you for giving it a positive ending.

Such a wonderful, beautiful and we'll written piece.

Excellent job girl, also love the characterization of Marble.

Another beautiful gem of a short Nailah. You really know how to tug at the heartstrings and get your audience caring for your characters! I think you did a marvelous job with Marble here, her characterization feels so real!
Like Defiant, I felt the same when Big Mac choose Sugarbelle. Our poor, sweet, little Marble! *sniffs*
Just yes a gem of a tale, where the love that matters is that of ones sisters, and really in the end, that is all that matters anyway, the love of our family. Friends/Significant Others will come and go, but family is forever. :heart:

Time to ugly-sob a bit.:raritycry:

The worst part about Marble, from that Hearth's Warming special? If you look closely, her eye beneath her mane was still open. That little tidbit (thank you, DWK) always gut-punched my heart, and I can say with honesty that this story follows through on that tradition. Well done.

Thank you for sharing this nice piece of sisterly comfort received in the face of disappointment! :twilightsmile:

Sort of surprised we didn't see Maud though, given Limestone's comments about her sisters being there for her.

Marble giggled more into her forehoof.

Definitely in-character.

*Minor:
1.

finally left go of her sister.

"finally LET go of her sister"

Howdy, hi!

Ah, this was cute in a bittersweet way. I definitely feel for Marble here as losing out on someone you have a crush on always sucks, but I'm sure she'll find someone else or, at a minimum, she still has her family who will love her unconditionally for who she is. I liked the big sisterly energy Limestone has in this, and it definitely gives off the vibe of that protective sibling who's only doing the best they can for their younger sibling.

I also enjoy the random inclusion of Pinkie Pie in this. Probably came when her Pinkie Sense told her her Marble was upset and needed some affection from her sister. Overall just a really cute story about supportive siblings.

Thanks for the read~!

This comment will be unfair to the others due to the fact that I now have a deeper insight. First off, I had no idea it was based off the song Last Christmas by Carly Buchanan. Knowing that now, it gives deeper insight to the story’s feel.

It was a calm and peaceful day on the rock farm, but Marble felt her heart shattering into many pieces as she buried her face into her sister’s chest, and began to cry

What a line to begin off on! The stark contrast between the calm on the farm (outside) and disquiet in Marble’s heart (inside) gives the fic rich flavor!

“Who hurt you sis? They will be getting one hell of a beating from my hooves.”

“Hmmph. Why I ought to go down to Ponyville, find his ass and give him a piece of my mind. How dare he hurt you?! We’re practically family.”

Definitely could be Limestone quotes if they’d let Limestone curse in the show.

“Sis… why doesn’t anyone love me?”

Heartbreaking dialogue.

Marble Pie felt the slightest chuckle escaping her lips, as a stray tear ran down her cheeks.

Love this. I know it’s not explicitly written, but I imagine if she’s still hiding her face in Limestone’s chest floof. In the same vein, just imagine the brief respite Limestone would feel to know that humor isn’t lost for her sister.

”… You deserve the best stallion out there,”

Dawww.

“No singing! We don’t have time for that. We need to focus on moving these rocks,”

Tough love—Limestone style.

Also, its good that Limestone is distracting Marble. I wouldn’t say that it’s the best place to start, but nonetheless, it’s a start. It is the first step of grief; denial.

I wish I could be like her. Strong, stubborn, and not letting anything get to me.

You will, Marble. Just be patient. Kinda makes me think, has Limestone had relationships previous that cause her to speak from experience? It would add depth to her character if so. How much of her personality is nature and how much is nurture? It would be interesting to explore.

“I’ll be okay…” she whispered softly.

Denial again.

I’m not selfish right? It’s okay to want to find a pony that loves me like that.

I like this bit of characterization.

As said before, one of the reasons why I selected this fic is because I’m a sucker for Limestone and Marble heart-to-hearts. Very different personalities, but family nonetheless, leading them to care for each other in very different ways.

Even more so, I’m a sucker for Pinkie and Marble interactions. Especially Pinkie with her constant tangents would be acutely aware to how Marble was feeling without saying it outright.

Minor things:

How did she get here so fast?” asked Marble as she let out an eep of surprise, and found her cheeks flushing a deep shade of red.

Think these should be in italics, though did she say it aloud? If aloud, probably add ‘to herself’ at the end, since this is a weird thing to say to Pinkie.

aww, this was a cute one! i really liked how Limestone Limestone was in this. protective, combative, blunt, and believing in hard work as the tonic for all things, including not having to think about some things for a while. i definitely understand Marble admiring her and wanting to emulate her, as i have some of those feelings myself! and i can tell a lot went into this Marble, who feels very much like a real person here.

and it was a nice touch to end this with Pinkie, who always seems to have a knack for being where she is needed!

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