The Name Game
"It's not my fault you all look the same," I groused.
We'd moved from the entranceway of the castle to a small room off to the side filled with couches and cushions for sitting. A sitting room, they'd called it. Fitting.
Twilight, Sunset, and Starlight (in that order) had taken one couch while I sat opposite them on a chair. While the prior two only seemed mildly interested, the third just would not stop grinning.
"We really don't," That was Sunset. "That's why this is so interesting, Em."
"Em?"
She winced. "Sorry. Habit. I'll try to keep you Ember and the one I know Em so I don't get mixed up."
Someday I'll need to meet this 'other Ember". See how she measures up against the real thing. "Whatever."
"I can't even begin to imagine the kind of social and cultural ramifications this implies," said Twilight. She was easier to recognize now that I realized she had wings. Not my fault for not noticing them: she doesn't carry herself like a winged creature. No shifting, no flexing, no little unconscious movements. She walks like she doesn't even have them. Not to mention how they're totally hidden when she sits. "You really can't tell which of us is which?"
"I know now," I stressed. Assuming none of them grew more wings or changed their manes while I blinked. "Just... not when meeting you on the street."
"What about if I did this?" Starlight asked a moment before her horn lit with a flash of blinding light.
As I blinked away the afterimages, I tried to figure out what she'd done. Magic, clearly, but that narrowed down nothing. I squinted at the trio. There was something... slightly off about them. Something not right about how Starlight's mane was looped across the back of the- Ah!
I smirked as I held direct eye contact with her. "Nice try, Starlight. But I know who you are now. I'm not gonna be fooled by you switching your manes around, even if you use magic to do it."
Starlight gave me a confused look (I think I'm getting better at picking up their emotions) before speaking in the wrong voice, "Actually, I'm Twilight. She teleported us all around. I thought it was just some sort of cultural difference or a general lack of consideration, no offense, but you really can't tell, can you?"
I rolled my eyes at her. It's one of the few pony gestures I've made sure to learn and practice so I get it just right. It makes absolutely no sense, yet somehow conveys a lot of what I feel whenever I have to deal with ponies.
Twilight's expression shifted into one of the annoying unreadable ones again before she suddenly brightened with a smile. "Actually, that gives me an idea. Everycreature hold on while I go find the right book."
Her horn lit up again for a second before she vanished entirely. Seriously? They can teleport just like that? Why do they have roads and trains at all if they can just pop from place to place like a four-legged will-o-wisp?
That left me with the other two. Sunset, who still didn't seem totally over mistaking me, and Starlight, whose grin was getting bigger why was it getting bigger?
"What's wrong with your face?"
Her creepy smile broke and reformed as a more normal-looking one. "Oh, nothing. I just had a bit of an idea. Say, do you mind if I grab a friend?"
I shrugged. Why would I care?
Her horn flashed again before I even finished the gesture (seriously? Again with the teleporting?) and a new pony appeared on the couch. It was a unicorn, again, but I could at least tell this one apart because she was wearing a hat. A long floppy cone that almost looked like just another lock of mane.
Great. Now I was going to have to learn another name to keep straight.
She yawned and shot Starlight the kind of stink-eye I recognized from the train. "Is there some reason you felt it necessary to interrupt Trixie's beauty sleep? Trixie needs a proper ten hours if she's going to perform at maximum magical potential."
Oh I like this one. Any pony who constantly reminds you who they are is a good pony in my books.
"It's almost lunch, you've slept plenty. I just thought you like to meet Twilight's friend Ember while she's here."
Trixie turned to me, eyes still only half open. "Hello." Her voice was drier than the scorched earth of the badlands. I knew dragons more eager to make friends.
No reason not to respond in kind. "Hey."
"Ember here's not great at telling ponies apart." Wow. Viper. Eager to throw me under the boulder aren't we? Still, my opinion of her went up a notch. That was some ruthlessness a dragon could respect. "So I thought we could have some fun helping her learn to spot small differences.”
That sounded like a terrible idea.
"This sounds like a terrible idea and Trixie would like to go back to sleep."
Trixie was rapidly making her way up the rankings of my favorite ponies.
Starlight leaned in and whispered something into her ear. Trixie's eyes went wide suddenly. "No, really?" Starlight nodded, a hint of the alarming grin coming back. "Trixie has changed her mind and is eager to help."
Easy come, easy go. Back down the rankings with her.
"I think this sounds like a great idea," agreed Sunset eagerly but not quite as... suspiciously as the other two. "In fact, I bet I know someone who could help. Excuse me a minute."
Another flash, another teleport. Seriously, why did they even bother with doors?
In the meantime, Starlight had removed Trixie's hat (and her distinctiveness) and magicked up a cup of something steaming. I rankled as the smell hit me. A harsh and bitter scent, with just a hint of something cloyingly sweet under it. How they could stand to be so close to the source—let alone drink it—was beyond me.
Neither seemed ready to talk to me and instead shared whispers back and forth. I was just fine with that; less chances for me to put my back claw in my mouth.
Sunset returned just as quickly as she'd left, reappearing with twice the bright light. When the spots finally left my vision I noticed she wasn't alone.
She'd brought back Twilight... I think?
It looked like Twilight, for as much as that means anything, but she had glasses on now and she sat differently. Like she wasn't sure how to position her legs. Weird. Hadn't she said she was coming right back? Why did Sunset need to go get her?
And didn't she have wings before?
"Ember, this is my friend, Twilight Sparkle-"
Duh. Got that.
"-but not Princess Twilight. She's a different pony entirely."
What.
Some part of my feelings must have shown on my face because she continued with a smile I found coddling. "Remember how I said that there were similar ponies in the place where I live? She's from there."
"Hi," new Twilight said, raising her hoof and... twitching it at me? Was she trying to wave without claws? "It's nice to meet you."
Why does the world hate me? I try, I really do, but just when I think I might be starting to get a handle on keeping track of all these cookie-cutter ponies it decides to throw this at me. Same name, same mane, same squiggly mark on her rump! How am I supposed to tell them apart? What kind of cabal of universal forces got together and decided "I don't think the current Dragonlord is being challenged enough. Let's put a bunch of ponies who are all perfect copies of each other in positions of power and watch her squirm as she tries to keep track of them"?
Out loud, all I said was "Same."
She really was an almost perfect double. But at least she had the glasses to make her distinctive. If she took them off-
Someone's magic (maybe Starlight's?) stole new Twilight's glasses—"Hey! I need those!"—then shot her in the face—"Oh. That works. Thank you."
"It's only a temporary fix. They’ll go back to normal in a few hours."
Cracks. And now she was even less recognizable. I wonder what the rules of friendship and diplomacy have to say about starting a war? Not against all ponies; just Starlight in particular. I'd like to see her be clever when facing down an army of all my dragons.
"So... what exactly are we doing?" new Twilight (because what else could I possibly call her?) asked. "Sunset was a bit circumspect on details."
"Ember's got a problem with remembering who's who among ponies." Starlight said, finally emerging from her whisper-huddle to properly rejoin the group at large.
New Twilight glanced between her, Sunset, and whatshername. "Well you do all-"
"She mistook me for Rarity," Sunset cut in.
"Oh. Yes, well, I see. What can I do to help?"
"I was thinking we could make a game out of it," Starlight continued. "We shuffle around, randomize ourselves, then Ember takes a crack at guessing who is who. The longer we play, the better she'll get at identifying small differences that might seem obvious to us."
I had to give her props. She'd make a good dragon, even just measuring by how much I wanted to reduce her to a pile of smoking ash.
I knew about games—we had plenty of lava-based ones back home—but this was sounding less and less like a game. Call me suspicious, but it was starting to sound more like a group of teenage dragons ganging up on a pre-molt drakeling for some fun. The kind of taunting and teasing fun meant to push them into finding their inner anger. I didn't think ponies did that kind of thing.
Nor did I think they'd be this good at getting me riled up. Already I felt a hot surge of anger burning in my gut, fighting to make its way up my throat and out my mouth towards my enemies. And they’d somehow done it all with their tone and helpful suggestions. Not a single insult against my family or prowess.
So that's how they wanted to play it? Get the dragon angry, get her real riled up and see if she pops? They think they can mock me and get away with it? Well I'll show them. I'll show them all! I'll beat this stupid little game of theirs and teach them proper respect for a Dragonlord!
I knew them now. It's not easy, but there's little differences if you really really stare. Trixie's muzzle turns up at the end. Sunset's a claw taller than the rest. And if they sit just right I might be able to see and remember their hip marks. The manes will be the biggest help, I think. They're all strange and wavy, but at least they're wavy in different ways. So long as I can match which to who, I should be golden.
As I'd been seething, the ponies had kept talking and come to the agreement that it was a great idea. They even sounded supportive. I'd nodded at the right times when they asked if I was fine with this. I'd be fine once I had crushed their egos and mocking opinions of me into the dust.
"Should we get started or wait for Twilight?" Trixie-with-the-mane-like-a-dragon's-tail asked. She glanced over. "Other Twilight, that is?"
"That reminds me," said Starlight-with-the-fat-head-and-mane-that-goes-like-a-waterfall, "We can't make it too easy."
She rubbed her hoof through Trixie's mane for a few moments and when she took it away Trixie was Twilight.
Apparently this was impressive even by the standards of pony magic, unless gaping jaws meant something different when a pony did it.
"How did you do that?" Sunset asked. "Do you know how many years I spent trying to find a decent mane-styling spell?"
Starlight smirked. "It's not even a spell. Just a little trick I picked up from Rainbow Dash, of all ponies. For all her bluster and bravado, the mare really knows how to work with a mane. It's actually pretty easy once you know the trick. See?"
Another movement of her hoof that was too quick to follow and now Sunset was Twilight too.
Well that's just cheating.
Cracks.
Original new Twilight was still gaping at it. "But... where did all the length go?"
Starlight spun her hoof through her own mane and now there were four Twilights on the couch. It was even worse than usual. Usually, ponies are like leaves. Just about identical at first glance, but if you really squint you can tell one from another (even if you still don't know what tree it's from). But this... this was like trying to tell four snowflakes apart.
And then they started giggling. And smiling.
Now it was just straight up creepy.
“Well then," asked a pony I could only hope was still Starlight, “Are you ready to start?"
Before I could make her permanently recognizable with a scorched face, we were interrupted.
A flash of light heralded Princess Twilight (or a very short Celestia)'s return, and with her came- oh cracks no.
"I'm back! I couldn't find the book I needed, so I had to make a quick visit to Canterlot where I knew a pony who had another copy. She thought this sounded like an interesting study and asked if she could tag along."
"How do you do," said new new Twilight. "My name is Moondancer."
Oh. Come. On.
This next hour was going to be Tartarus, I could feel it, but pride forbade me from backing down now. I would prevail. Some way or another, I was going to figure out which of these ponies was which.
If only so I could find the right Starlight Glimmer to challenge to a fight after.
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The sad thing is that this is an actual thing in real life and I know someone with it.
P.S. Do not try what you read here with a person suffering from this problem unless you thoroughly explain what you are doing to them and how it is going to help them.
Tried to make a game of it in grade school and it ended with someone getting a black eye.
Color me shocked
Nevermind, less shocked now :p
They're called HASBRO
Some friendships are indistinguishable from mutual abuse
You can't miss if you carpet bomb the target range
I can totally relate to Ember here. I'm so bad at remembering people that I'd forget my own mother if I stopped seeing her for 3 months
and I can't even begin to estimate the number of times when some dude with short brown hair (which fits the description of, like, 90% of guys in my country) walked up to me and started acting like we're bffs and I haven't the faintest idea who the F he is and how I know him and it's awkward to ask 
I bet the book is on daltonism and colour blindness. Maybe she was also looking for some Ishihara test patterns too for her to test.
They really should get Spike to help her. He was raised among ponies but recognizes dragons with ease, maybe he has some tips and tricks.
All blue-eyed blonde women look alike to me.
I'm Mexican.
There is a joke where a Chinese person was in Mexico, and he got mugged. He called the police, and he gave the officer his report. When the officer asked, "What did he look like?", the Chinese person said, "I don't know. All Mexicans look alike to me."
Give the ponies props for getting under Ember's scales and not even realizing that they are doing it.
inb4 Twilight brings her own mother into it before going back in time to get Twilight Twinkle, and then Oleander joins the battle.
This. This is perfect.
Because, Ember--so to further complicate it for you--not all ponies can do that. You're just unlucky enough to be sitting in a room with three that are among the best at it.
For once, a moment when Trixie's speaking in the third person actually works to somebody's advantage.
Trust me, Ember, I've been asking the same questions about coffee for years. I really don't see the appeal.
To be fair...she is sort of asking for it at this point, isn't she?
As cruel as it is, there is something to making all the manes match though. As Ember herself noted, the manes of a pony are not permanent and subject to change--it would not be wise to be totally reliant on them so to be able to tell specific ponies apart.
But now that I think about it, I can start to see Ember's problem. Because most FiM ponies are built using the same base model, if you take away their manes cutie marks as reliable defining traits, then they really do all start to look alike. I'm not sure even I could reliably tell them all apart at that point.
Fortunately, I don't really have a problem like this in real life. I can actually remember faces pretty well. It's remembering the correct name that goes with said face that's the problem.
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Imagine, if you will, playing Who's That Pokemon? with the silhouettes of the citizens of Our Town.
That cover is pretty funny...
But man, I nearly started giggling uncontrollably on activating Reader Mode on my phone, and seeing it in.
used cars for sale
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Well...I'd be able to tell if they were male, female, or foal.
...yeah, that's about it.
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Oh, I'm pretty sure Starlight knows what she's doing.
This was a welcome surprise
At least to everyone other than Ember.
Wait. Is... Is Ember just colorblind? And doesn't know it?
...Damn.
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If the episode Triple Threat is any indication, she isn't. She commented about Ponyville having a lot of colors and later complained about Twilight and Starlight both being purple. She might still be partially colorblind, but at the very least, if she can tell that something is purple, then she can also tell that something else isn't purple.
Oh man. Now they got Trixie Moon, Sparkle Light #2, and Stardancer to join in!!!
Ember'll never find Moonlight Glimmer now!
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Fun fact. Ponies actually can't see the red part of the spectrum. To all of them, Applejack and Mac are a sickly green color. But then you have to ask how her cousin Red Gala got his name.
Ember: "Actually, I rather think you will be my favorite, not Trixie; whoever that is. Probably nopony important."
Whatever Starlight just said, did it involve teacups?
The answer is obvious:
Buy our Toys!
Don't worry, you are safe.
Except if you hear the following sound in the background...
Nice extension to your story!
I enjoyed reading it.
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Heh.
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Oh no!
we need a third chapter
one to cover the game and its aftermath
The funny thing about this story is that it deconstructs one of the basic principles of FiM: It's a children's TV show where all the characters are deliberately designed to be as easy as possible for little kids to recognize and learn — so that they can ask for the toys by name. Each pony has an identifying code: gender, race/tribe, color, cutie mark. None of these are subtle traits. And then notice how often, in the show, they call to one another by name — full names, usually, not nicknames or even first names.
Got to admit though, the principle has weakened over time as the cast has grown. I mean, Starlight Glimmer… Seriously? She seems like something another company would have invented to almost-clone Twilight Sparkle while skirting copyright law.
This was a hilarious second part I hope there's more/a sequel of this.
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True, but they tend to be only to almost entirely 1 color. They're not exactly a rainbow of colors like the Ponies. Dragons tend to keep things very simple, unlike ponies.
Plus, she doesn't exactly spend enough time with them to be able to remember a lot of details.
She sees the colors, but I bet they don't process well. Plus most ponies at the same shape, for the most part. Not like Dragons where you get a TON of variety in length and width.
Like the people that process different parts of a person's face, but can't turn it into a whole. So they won't be able to tell a stranger from their spouse.
Awe man, I’m not reading any of the other comments to see if it has already been mentioned, but I was really really hoping you’d say that Ember was color blind. It would have made it so unfair and epically hilarious! Instead her observation skills are just lazy!
Honestly? This is actually a really good 2nd chapter. A bit heavy on the "I must destroy ponies/Starlight", but definitely some good fun reading it. Quality is still good too, doesn't feel as haphazard as I feared from your little intro.
Honestly at this point I can't wait for a 3rd chapter where Ember either cracks or finds a way to recognize ponies, or BOTH. Actually both would probably be the most fun, but I am sure however you write it, it will be good.
This morning I didn't expect to have to come up with an opinion on the bullying of dragonlords, but here we are.
What was that book Twilight was looking for? Was it something for measuring color blindness?
My takeaway from all this is that Ember is colorblind. Or everycreature (gods, I despise that word) is colorblind since none of them mentioned the obvious solution of differentiating ponies by color.
Hell, I identify ponies first by unique clothing/accessories, then colors, then manestyle, and last by cutiemark.
So funny
I had waaayyy too much fun trying to figure out who was escorting Ember to the castle, and the mental battle she was having was great. 
What I'm getting from this story (and it's hilarious!) is that Ember's not colorblind, but sees colors very differently from ponies -- maybe an entirely different slice of spectrum? -- and that while her brain's wired to recognize dragons, none of the cues she instinctively looks for helps with ponies. Spike manages just fine, because he's lived his whole life around ponies and has learned how to recognize them and tell them apart.
This needs another part where they actually play the game
Looking for something totally unrelated I found this had a new chapter. I was presently surprised.
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Maybe she sees in the infra-red. Some lizards have infrared senses to there's some precedent.
Or in the ultraviolet, like bees. That's more likely to be changelings, though.
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Not really. More like ... it's how some people from a specific race (human) think all others of a different race look the same.
It's more like, as they showed here, she's not able to differentiate one pastel colored pony, from all the other ones. She'd probably get better if she spent more time around them, getting familiar with them, and learning how to tell them apart from their voices, but atm, one is pretty much the same as any other.
Spike: "Hey, I'm home!" Walks into the room, after seeing the situation, ask what's going on, gets an answer, nods, leave, and comes back with a rolled up paper for 3 of the 6 mares!
P.S. All the mares in the room are hot, and are at the top of one, or more of my prefered list! Sexy horned pons!
Well, Ember, only the ones with horns can do that.
i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/facebook/001/482/738/0c3.jpg
Ember agrees, Starlight best pony.
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And even then, they have to be either exceptionally trained or a natural.
Pain. Just pain.