• Member Since 10th Jul, 2012
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Twinkletail


I write poni. I am easily distracted. I like Oreos. I do commissions!

E
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It’s vacation time! And much to the chagrin of everycreature but Ocellus, Professor Rarity has given an assignment: use your unique skills to provide a service for your friends.

Ocellus has a great idea! In order to help propagate love, her service to her friends is the chance to take a practice run at admitting their feelings to their crushes, a task made easy by her changeling magic. It’s a great idea!

Maybe.

This story takes place shortly after She’s All Yak.

Chapters (6)
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Comments ( 66 )

“How do we calculate the prices for our services?” Gallus asked. “I mean, I guess it’s easy if we’re doing something that others already do, but-“

The idea that the griffon wants to charge for his generosity just makes perfect sense and makes me giggle.

And now the changeling is oblivious to the feelings of her friend. Great stuff. Also, apparent Tsundolder is always a good thing.

Ocellus gave an innocent grin as she looked down towards the sheet in her hooves. She had expected more than just one signup, of course. It would have been silly not to, and she wasn’t quite sure if helping only two friends would even qualify for the assignment. She had not, however, anticipated just how many signups there would be. It wasn’t enough to be overwhelming, but it was enough to be...whelming? Was that a word? It had to be, logically speaking, but it still felt off. Whether or not it was a word, Ocellus certainly felt whelmed as she looked over the sheet.

It's funny, considering Ocellus is such a bookworm, she ponders if something is a word or not as an add on to her questioning.

And, by the way,

Sandbar’s eyes darted left, then right, then left once more. Despite the fact that they were in a private dorm room and the only other person who might have been here had left upon his arrival, he had to play it safe. Once he was sure they were alone, he whispered, “I have a crush in Yona.”

It'd be on, not in.

Fantastic little story! Very well-written, everyone was in character and the dialogue was believable, as were the interactions. And as an added bonus, you used all my favorite ships for the Young Six... mostly. RIP GallBar...

So, yeah! I really enjoy this story! Great job!

10134559
Hah, I blame my iPad for that. Every once in a while it corrects on to in, or vice versa. This one must have just evaded my notice.

Gallus: “A mere 2 bit charge is generous!”

Smolder x Ocellus OTP, of course. Also I have to remember to write Ocellus less like Fluttershy and more like this. She’s not really all that shy or timid once she gets into something. Plus, of course, cheerleading.

Pure adorable and oblivious changeling all of the way through. I love the way she's written in this.

And that last appointment was just amazing. Perfection. Feelings. All of it awesome.

This was a great read!

The trick is of course, how much can Ocellus act like the creature she’s impersonating? How accurate will it actually be?

To be honest while I don’t mind the Gallus x Silverstream ship, there’s always a bit in the back of my head wondering if I’m just pairing the spares, or pairing the two birbs.

D’awww...this bug really needed that right now. Well timed, Smolder.

And this is going on my list of reference fics for how to write the Young-6.

:twilightsmile:

JackRipper
Story Approver

Smolder knee just as well as she did that this paltry attempt would not sway the professor’s opinion.

knew*

10134756
Maybe it WAS knee!

...It wasn't knee.

Thank you :twilightsmile:

10134693
I'll have to keep this one in mind too. This was really great!

“You’re exactly who I need you to be.”

Ohhhhhhhhhhh fuck yeah this hits the spot

I literally went to sleep last night wishing for more Smolcellus and what do you know, I wake up to find this!

Really, really cute. The emotional conflict in this is great—I like the whole 'keeping track of your own mental health' moral.

This is some tasty slice of life, my dude.

:raritycry:

It's not often something romantic and fuzzy makes me emotionally moved. I enjoy my romance, just one glance at my body of work shows that! But, my man, this hit me right in the vacuole in my chest cavity. My teeth might develop cavities from this sweetness, and I might even have to suffer a life of diabetes at a young age!

Seriously good writing, man. Very show like, and the moral of the story was well done. I am so stoked to see Ocellus and Smolder getting some much deserved love lately. I hope the Student Six get even more soon! I lurve them to bits!

Ri2

This was the best idea ever.

Five minutes later, the school was on fire.

Ri2

10134686
Well, with Yona and Sandbar the only canon couple and Smolder/Ocellus your fave, who's left for them?

Ri2

It was the third time Spike was in here, but that didn’t change the sadness in Ocellus’s heart as she heard his words for Rarity and imagined somecreature feeling like that about her.

Spike, give it up, man. It's not gonna happen.

"I think Yona would love to date you"

So, you arrange dates to do romantic stuff? You get your datebook out, and arrange to in advance when you're going to be romantic with your boyfriend or girlfriend? That sounds really romantic.

In case it isn't obvious: I'm being sarcastic. I'm not a fan of how "dating" has become popular in modern society, it feels like a really unromantic way to do romance.

Well, alright, now I'm tearing up, that was so sweet

10134817
Hehe, that line was in my head from the second I came up with the story and I was really looking forward to reactions to it. I was considering writing a tiny bit more in that chapter after that line, including a line about how the love Ocellus felt from that moment tasted so much better than the love from the other appointments since it was actually meant for her, but I really liked the simplicity of just ending the chapter on that line :twilightsmile:

10135260
It's beautiful :heart:

“S-Smolder?” Ocellus whispered, as if the slightest sound could cause an explosion. “You...you never told me...who you wanted me to transform into...”

Smolder stared at Ocellus as if she had three heads. Finally, she sat up. One talon reached out and grabbed one of Ocellus’s hooves, holding it tightly.

“You’re exactly who I need you to be.”

GASP!!!

10134686
Personally, I ship them because their scene in What Lies Beneath is just PACKED with romantic tension.

10135368
I think that’s the episode that did it for me too. Either that or the one with the scavenger hunt.

10134686
Out of the possible pairings, they're probably the only ones who could have kids.

10135493
I mean, they all live in a ridiculous world of magic and cartoon science, so I rather doubt that.

Plus while Ocellus probably can't maintain a female dragon shapeshift for long enough to gestate an embryo or eggs (e.g., weeks or months of time), she can probably maintain a male dragon one for long enough (just a few minutes...well, hopefully a lot longer than just a few minutes, if you know what I mean...) to impregnate Smolder.

10135504
👏magic 👏changeling 👏pussy

Ah shipping. And mostly the canon pairings that we're able to see or guess about...still curious if they can indeed do it, as we do see Changelings are able to do quite interesting things in their altered forms.

10135504
Wait, would the sperm even be able to fertilize an egg? Considering that Ocellus is a female changeling she may be able to just make it seem like real sperm but it could be sterile or just her own female ejaculate coming out instead. And even if it was fertile, would the sperm be specifically hers or that of whom she is disguised as? Meaning that Smolder would have the child of some random drake Ocellus changed into just so they could have a kid together. There are a lot of unexplored avenues with this train of thought, such as if something like this was common occurrence back when changelings stole love and if there are any foals who have a changeling as a biological father because of this.

Oh my, this was such a cute and lovely little story:twilightsmile: I've always loved the idea of Ocellus being that friend that helps her friends with their crushes...and also being completely oblivious of her feelings for somecreature else (and the feelings somecreature else might have for her:pinkiesmile:)
And Smolder's confession? MY GOD IT WAS GOOD, I'm not the biggest fan of that ship but man, I loved them here, this is so good and you did and excellent job!:heart:
(and thanks for using my drawing as the cover, I'm honored:raritywink:)

10135720
I think it would be potentially fun to explore, though. For my part, I think that when a changeling turns into a thing, they are that thing, inside and out. So Ocellus would while a male dragon produce real male dragon sperm, though come to think of it she’s probably need to hold the form for at least a few days to give her body a chance to produce lil’ swimmers. I’m sure there’s a magical solution to the problem.

Likewise while changelings obviously can become actual creatures they can also become no particular creature, not a copy of anyone existing.

This is all headcanon, of course.

10135840
Oh, that picture is yours? Heh, I probably should have asked for permission first :twilightblush:

I was searching for a good picture of her for the cover and that one immediately jumped out at me. It was too adorable!

Short, sweet and truly a lovely read. Love all these ships and these characters, and there’s a reason this story was one 1 on the feature box all of a sudden

Sandbar’s eyes darted left, then right, then left once more. Despite the fact that they were in a private dorm room and the only other person who might have been here had left upon his arrival, he had to play it safe. Once he was sure they were alone, he whispered, “I have a crush on Yona.”

Really? No! I never would've guessed! /sarcasm :rainbowlaugh:

If she could make others as happy as she’d made a Sandbar,

Because they totally keep spare Sandbars lying around, in case of Sandbar emergency. :raritywink:

Dan

Isn't it time Princess Cadance got a faithful student of her own?

I wonder if Ocellus could change into a little old lady with a charming German accent to give relationship counseling.

10136287
Don't we all??

Fixing that one, thank you! My iPad has this thing where if I capitalize a word and it doesn't recognize it as a proper noun, it'll sometimes autocorrect it to have an A in front of it for some reason.

10135493
Eh, unless we assume the magic of Equestria can help bypass that somehow. Wouldn't be the first time I've seen shippers jump to that conclusion, and there's really nothing in the show that'd suggest it couldn't be a possibility.

Besides, not every relationship is about having kids. I've met couples that were perfectly happy to have each other, even if they never have kids. So as long as they're happy, who am I to complain to that, y'know? :twilightsmile:

10134686
Personally, I had always thought it was more Smolcellus that was "shipping the spares," or at least that was part of what helped it to catch on so much in the end.

But then seeing I lean more towards Gallus/Smolder myself, I'm probably bias on that. :rainbowlaugh:

Dan

I'm fairly sure Smolder likes Gallus. That smirk after burning his book...

"Accidentally" burning things is probably the dragon-equivalent of yanking the pigtails of the girl you like but don't know how to tell.

10134909
Like she said. BEST IDEA EVER. If the school isn't on fire, the plan was incomplete.

Alright that was already a super well done confession, but geeze that last line really put it over the top. Also I think I have a cavity. So thanks for that. Can't wait to finish.

Yup, and that was a good way to end it. The whole story has a very well designed light hearted quality to it that makes the style flow with the subject matter perfectly. I think, for that line at the end at least, it has to get a fav. Great job.

Wow, at the top of the feature box, AND 0 downvotes! that's impressive!

She got that many couples together in one day. My word, Cadence will be impressed, she’ll probably want to mark this occasion. I can see it now, come speech day, the “Ocellus Award for Services to Shipping” annually presented to the student who hooks up the most couples in a year.

There's a lot to appreciate about this story. My favorite aspect, to be honest, is its pacing. The chapters were all shorter than what I'm used to, but everything was so crisp, the dialogue used beautifully, the descriptions plentiful enough without being overbearing, and (to get odd) the rhythm of the sentences and story made it a pleasure to go through. I think this may be a story I come back to in terms of prose, as I attempt to rekindle my own voice.

And then it hit her. The solution was so obvious once she stepped back and took a look at it. Not only had she come up with an idea to help Sandbar and Yona, but she had come up with an idea to complete her generosity assignment for the week as well. And the more and more she thought about it, the more and more she liked it. This was the best idea ever.


“That is the worst idea ever.

This, in particular, made me chuckle with the pacing.

The characterization is brilliant.

“No, Professor!” Ocellus responded. The moment the words left her mouth, she blushed lightly. She could feel the eyes of some of her friends on her in response to her enthusiasm. She noted the narrowed eyes from Gallus, then the raised brow from Smolder, and then the eager smile and wave from Silverstream when she noticed that Ocellus had looked in her direction too. That last one was probably unrelated. (:twilightsmile:)

Ocellus sat on the edge of her bed, eyes constantly darting between the clock and the door. It was 10:02. Sandbar was supposed to be here two minutes ago. Some ponies just didn’t pay attention to being on time, and she couldn’t understand why.

“Come on, Sandbar...” Ocellus spoke, just above a whisper. “Any minute now...”

“I don’t get why you’re so excited about this,” Smolder stated as she walked in, toothbrush still hanging out of her mouth. “Actually, I take it back. It’s for a class assignment. I’d be more concerned if you weren't excited.”

“Heh...” Sandbar began, already off to a stellar start. “Well...you see...”

“Yona see,” Ocellus responded. “Yaks best at seeing!” She giggled, already having too much fun with this. Sandbar laughed as well, and she could see just in his posture that he’d relaxed a bit.

“It’s not all that bad!” Silverstream said. “But...uh...I kinda had something else on my mind.”

“Oh yeah?” Ocellus asked. “What’s that?”

“Well...” Silverstream began.

Suddenly, Ocellus felt her talon in Silverstream’s clutches. She blinked in surprise, not having expected her to make contact.

“I need to be honest with you,” Silverstream said, staring into the disguised Ocellus’s eyes. Her usual silly nature seemed to have nearly fallen to the wayside with that sentence alone. “There’s a reason I’m always so happy when we get paired up in class, and why I like to tease you all the time, and why I brought you on this picnic. It’s just...I mean, you’re so brave and cool, and I really admire that. I really admire you. And as goofy as that sounds, I really, really mean it.” (I think this is a great example of a drastic change in characterization.)

“You?” Ocellus asked, shocked. “I thought you thought this was a bad idea?”

“Well, I’m here now!” Smolder answered, even though that didn’t really answer Ocellus’s question.

“Okay...” the changeling said. “Well...just tell me who-“

Before Ocellus could finish her sentence, she was cut off by an energized Smolder.

“I’ve been wanting to say this for...I don’t even know how long,” Smolder began. Ocellus raised a brow, startled by the sudden beginning.

“Smolder, you haven’t-“ Ocellus tried again, but she was cut off once more.

“And do you know how hard this kind of thing is?” Smolder practically shouted. “Us dragons don’t share our feelings much. It’s not like us! It’s not tough or cool or anything like that!”

Smolder...” Ocellus tried one last time. Once again, she was steamrolled. (:pinkiehappy:)

So many gems, I'm surprised Smolder was able to focus on her feelings without giving in to hunger. And that wasn't as good as your metaphors and descriptions, which I feel were very special. And although it may be lost in everything else, I thought you had Rarity as a pony and as a teacher spot-on.

And then the plot development, along with the pacing, was very nice. It developed well, and Ocellus's own development throughout was wonderful. Comforting-Ocellus scenes are a guilty pleasure of mine; I love watching friends stick up for her when need be. And the epilogue was an excellent wrap-up to it all.

I'm gushing over this story. Everything was just so well done, and leaves me feeling happy. Well done to you! I have a few criticisms, but since I've been away from the craft for so long, I don't think it would do well for me to offer them to such a beautiful story.

amazing story, I can't expect a more exciting story.

Highly enjoyable and certainly a fun read

I wrote a quick little review for this story.

You can find it over here.

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