Struggling to edit and write, and starting to read.
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Sandbar has invited all of his friends from the School of Friendship for a get-together before Nightmare Night. To get into the spirit of the season and learn a bit about each other's races, he decides that they should all share scary stories from their cultures.
Ocellus thinks they seem sort of similar.
Thanks to Petrichord for help with some proofreading and brainstorming.
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I’ll have more to say in a moment, but for now...
This is definitely a spooky start. I also think it’ll be really neat to hear griffin, yak, changeling, and so on ghost stories, because you can tell a lot about a culture by the stories they tell to scare themselves.
Like, for example, most Japanese ghost stories tend to expose how much being a social reject scares them.
Oh my, they again! :O
Waiting for next spooky stories!
(there's not some hidden keys or clues to main story about Shadow Walkers, I suppose? :D )
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Nah, I just wanted a little callback to Fleeting Light while writing this. The story was basically what's listed in Glimmer of Hope, but expanded just a little bit to feel more like a campfire story.
Claustrophobia, I see. Also slenderman. Pretty spooky...
I hate horror so much. My stupid overactive imagination just takes all the visual and audio cues and dials it up to 11 but I keep reading anyways what is wrong with me
I can only fear what happens when the characters in the stories actually get caught.
Cute and creepy at the same time. Looking forward to the next chapter!
Sigh, why, why almost every character of horror stories always decides to come somewhere where weird things were seen or rumored, alone, at night, with some pathetic light source... wait... filled with pride griffin came even more further, and din't take some light source with them! D: That axe on the other hand...
Well, it's campfire story though. Not real-life event with Night Walkers, where monters come to protagonists, and bring night with themselves...
Looking forward next chapters!
(Also, why am I keeping see face above campfire in story picture?.. Nah, it's just part of the flame... Is it?..)
More claustrophobia, but I feel like the dragon one was also very much about a fear of being eaten, by the earth itself; it was much more explicit than with the Night Walkers or Slenderman. And, of course, a cautionary tale about greed consuming them.
Given what we saw of Silverstream in What Lies Beneath, i would've assumed the Storm King and his armada would be the Hippogriff's choice of scary stories to tell their children, similar to what became of Nightmare Moon's reputation for Ponies. However, my gut tells me Silver's got a unique story in mind, which begs the question, is there something the Hippogriff's view as worse than the Storm King?
I'm curious on how Ocellus is going to play out.
I think I know where this is going, but I don't want to spoil it. Eagerly awaiting the conclusion.
Like Yona said, fear of the loss of family, but also fear of cold. I am loving these insights.
I’m actually surprised that changelings don’t have some kind of scary story, even if just short - something about hunger or disobedience. Or maybe this will conclude with her making a story?
So, the changelings were the monsters in all the stories, then?
This story seemed to focus on fear of loneliness, but also fear of the Other.
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That's honestly what I assumed from the story description to start with, but we'll see.
So... are we supposed to already know what the crimson room means at the end, or will that just remain unexplained for horror purposes?
Slenderman! Scary with a strange since of Nostalgia to it.
If I was forced to guess, I'd say that Revulsion is a mutated changeling, one that could feed on fear instead of love, Or at least something akin to a changeling.
Anyway. While this story sort of "happened" still, it also still exposes primal changeling fears: Hunger and weakness. Not being able to defeat an enemy, and the starvation that this loss causes.
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Unexplained for horror purposes sounds about right.
I have a sense something terribly wrong occurred during the time period of 12:00 am - 9:00 am in Ocellus Bedroom.
And we know that unlike the other stories we have evidence that Revulsion did exist and was very real...
Woooow
that ending.... It made this story REALLY scary and so beautiful!
Now I want to see continuation of this story!
hmm, what's thing with this "Revulsion"?
My first theory sounds crazy. After first reading, for me, it sounds like originally Changelings were helpers/creations of Revulsions, or rather were ones who were "Revulsions", who used to feed with fear. Changelings were ones who changed their forms and surroundings to some myphical creatures and showed themselves to other living creatures, spreading the most powerful type of fear that would stay over generatons. But one day changelings "betrayed" their nature and changed, and so they started to feed with love, and they locked all encoded memories about their past lives. Remainings of Revulsions kept live in lands of other races, being attached to places where they were feared, not able to move to lands where noone lives, and they all felt only hatred towards new changelings. Then some single Revulsion decided to get rid of changelings with infecting them with decease of unabling to feed on other emotions, because of strong aura of hatred. But changelings managed to survive by moving to barelands. And all remaining revulsions did extinct with time.
But now Ocellus somehow managed to remember what Revulsions felt in distant past when they fed with fear, she remembered how SHE was in that caves and forests, observing scared living creatures, and also she feel what Revulsions actually felt - they hated changelings for betraying their original form and purpose, and who knows, maybe the fact that changelings managed to betray themselves AGAIN, turning to creatures we know them now, it somehow brought us to ending scene with Ocellus... :O
But I'm thinking too much again.
Well, I hope somepony or somecreature will help Ocellus to get rid of this decease.
I thought the Revulsion were ponies.
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That might be why the teenage dragons are still small.
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The crimson color is mentioned related to the emotion of revulsion. The implication is just that Ocellus felt that while sleeping.
This was...nice. Not jaw-dropping or anything. What you see is what you get-the Student Six telling scary stories.
The stories were nicely paced, sufficiently creepy, and unique to each culture. Well done there!
Ocellus' story raises some interesting implications and, if i'm honest, I'd like to see a sequel to his story exploring the effects of Revulsion on Ocellus. Of course, as the author, that choice is yours.
On an unrelated note, why are the griffins presented as Germanic? I've read at least ten stories on FimFiction by unrelated authors where the griffins have German names or their language is pretty much just German. I've never seen anything to inspire that in canon, so is it a fanon thing? If it is a fanon thing, where did it start?
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Honestly, I'm not sure where the idea to connect griffons to German came from. I recall discussing it at a party with a friend, when I had the idea to take a bit of real world inspiration for some stories. I'm not sure why I landed on it (besides them both starting with a G).
Fascinating works of world building through suspense. Brilliant work from start to finish. Thank you for it.
Gallus can tell a real scary story. Love it.
Another wonderfully creepy story.
That should be "waited near", right?
That should be "much like Smolder's", right?
That's "can", I presume?
Vision I presume?
Each other
Nitpicking spelling errors is how I show I love a story!
10082611
No worries about "nitpicking". Better they get pointed out and fixed, which they have been.
Why am I getting Ted the Caver vibes?
10161071
I've actually never given that a read, though I've heard of it before. A quick glance shows it seems kind of similar to this tale.
10161232
Still this is an excellent story, thank you.
nice use if greek mythology for this tale
9897051
its to do with in show geolocation and arcutecture desings and attitudes though i would have pegged them more canadians
can others try to enter this spooky story verse with new beings would be fun to see if the creatures could be around nowday abd studied by the young6
I feel as if Revulsion was describing humanity somehow.
Your Review
9893796
that actually makes sense, I am subscribing to that cannon
9897051
well the german coat of arms IS an eagle..
10225688
if there was it would be a nuclear submarine lurking outside seaquestira
Feels like ants biting at the inside of my throat. I couldn't help but read out almost the entire story with my best horror voice, even though I was all alone. I'm pretty sure my voice is going to be awful tomorrow, but it was worth the fun. Lovely story (/stories?) <3
The first time I read this, I missed the absurdly obvious thing that was right in front of me.
Revulsion was a shapeshifter that felt revulsion for a shapeshifter that fed on a different emotion, and it doing so caused changelings to get sick and things to turn crimson.
When Ocellus, a shapeshifter, felt revulsion for a shapeshifter that fed on a different emotion, a changeling got sick and things turned crimson.
Thus, when changelings feel revulsion at other changelings for (betraying what they are by) feeding on different emotions, it makes changelings sick and things turn crimson.
I feel downright stupid for missing that originally.
Hello there! Quite a while ago, you submitted this story to be reviewed by the Pens and Couches Review Group. This group has since undergone some changes and rebranding, and we finally reviewed your story! Check out your review here!
I think the evolution of the changeling form in this cannon is how power structures evolve over time. From ruling by enforced fear, to ruling by deceit-forged love, to cooperation and mutual sharing. Any of those from other types typically despise the others for not conforming to their version of perfection.
Well done.
Nearly had a heart attack when i read the title of the first chapter.
Nice call back! :)