Sandbar and Ocellus contemplate the nature of the changelings' main form of sustenance inside of a ring of magical fire. It's a nice bonding experience.
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- Member Since 23rd Aug, 2018
- offline last seen 18 minutes ago
semillon
PRONOUNCED: sem ee yawn || they/them || any character i ever write, ever, is 18+ unless explicitly stated otherwise
semillon
Joined 23rd Aug, 2018 ·
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Ocellus127 stories ·201 members
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i like how there's so many small shipping moments in this, but nothing too big
11/10 for hydras and buggos.
Once again you have given me a reason to smile :)
It’s gotta be great to be able to depend on your friends as completely as Sandbar and Ocellus do.
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Love is a burning thing
And it makes a fiery ring
Short, cute, funny and full of love. In one word, perfect. You might even say this is the platonic ideal of a fluff fic
This is so amazingly cute~ And I for one wouldn't mind a followup to this!
Aww this was a very nice story and to be honest with you the first time I saw them I actually wanted to ship sandbar and Ocellus so much I actually think they are cute together but anyway it looks like both of them got them self caught be a Hydra and basically they had to wait for their friends to come and get them and say so and I do like their conversation with each other it is pretty sweet to see that and very interesting about how love works I mean love can be in a different ways after a few minutes their friends finally got to them this was a cute story between these two keep up the good work
This comment is partly a general notice about what my prereading might be like if I was trading prereads with someone.
Edit: Yes, it is kind of funny that I walk up to a story in the Featured Box and start critiquing it.
> He pat her elytra gently
patted
> Sandbar loved to be pet.
pet vs. petted: are you trying for grammatical English, or trying to seem extra-cute by intentionally avoiding it here? :-)
So...not worrying about trying to use your seventeen minutes to TRY to see if you can find a way out? To me it seems more natural to try.
> “Plenty!” Sandbar said. He stuck his tongue out at her.
He seems to stick his tongue out a lot, maybe? Really, I think this seems, to me at this moment, more natural than it did to me he first time he did it, near the story's beginning.
> “Plenty!” Sandbar said. [...] “We have to read it when we’re foals. It helps us with musical numbers.”
I chuckled, and I am not sorry. :-)
I think I would find this conversation more natural if they were stuck somewhere with an expectation of NOT dying in a few minutes. Maybe at the bottom of a mine, or in a cave, waiting for a rescue with the expectiation that rescue WOULD come and they had plenty of air, water, etc.?
> Sandbar nodded. “Okay, so: to me, the best poems ever are always about the small things in life[...]
This is interesting to me, with only the obvious objection that the clock is ticking.
The ending is kind of funny, with the last paragraph but four. I like the last three paragraphs as the ending. Succinct AND they work.
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MERCI BEAUCOUP thanks for reading
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life's good when you've saved the world enough times to know how this song and dance goes
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catjam
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WOW OMG I DON'T KNOW IF I'D GO THAT FAR BUT THANK YOU SO MUCH
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Stay tuned! I'm not exactly planning on making a sequel but I have at least three more shorts like this planned for different members and pairs within the Young Six!
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First of all thanks for the read and the comment! To address a few of your questions...
Of course the meat of my prose+syntax is grammatically correct English but when I can, I always opt for informal vernacular to add a casual, conversational tone to my voice and dialogue. I enjoy using contractions that you usually wouldn't find in more rectified pieces (this'll, that'll, what'd, etc) as well as making choices like favoring pet vs. petted in certain situations. If a certain way of saying something can be understood in a spoken conversation without raising eyebrows I don't really mind including it in my writing.
They know what's going on behind the scenes—they're in the middle of an an average happening in Equestria! Someone somewhere will come to get them. That's just how the world works :)
Honestly I forgot that I had him blep that first time hahaha
They know they're safe! Probably. What fun would an adventure be without a tiny bit of danger? But with or without that certainty I prefer dramatic juxtaposition to realism. Big ring of hellfire; cutesy bonding between a horse and his bug. It's a vibe.
Thank you! I quite like the last few bits.
This was a very good one-shot.
A lovely intersection between the two and a fun idea to explore for Changelings. Great work as always
Very nice story ! You had the question be the core of the story without it feeling too cheesy or forced. It felt like an authentic conversation those two were having, juxtaposed by all the goofy stuff going on around them.
As an aside, I'm definitely warming up (no pun intended) to Sandbar and Ocellus interactions. I'd love to see more of these two interact.
What is love?
Oh baby, don't hurt me
Don't hurt me
No more
A cute little story, prompting a good question about changelings' love-eating, and subtly referencing an '80s song I like. I liked this story, and hope to see more from you in the future.
Baby don't hurt me, no more!
Honestly though, this is so heart-warming! Loved the chemistry between the two!
I friendship ALL the things!
This was really good.
The random distractions in their conversation are especially realistic, adding just enough tension to the story. Some might say it's odd that the tension comes from that as opposed to the ring of fire they're stuck in, but their complete faith in their friends nullifies the danger.
Also...17 minutes. It didn't dawn on me until I started typing here, but 17 minutes was a nice little touch, as that about how long their plot armor lasts
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Well I'm just confused now - is love a Changeling Lullaby, a meme, a Johnny cash song, or a good feeling?
Lovely stuff. I love the quick little background details like the low-level heat protection (which explains casual trips to the Dragonlands) and mandatory poetry classes for ponies. Plus, it’s a great exploration of both characters, both individually and in their interactions with each other. Sandbar thinking in marine biology terms was a very nice touch.
Also, because of the game Hades, I choose to believe the hydra’s name is Lernie.
In all, thank you for this.
Loved it!
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THANK YOU!!!! I like to think of Sandbar and Ocellus having a wise big sister/curious little brother sort of dynamic. He'd bug her with all sorts of questions and she'd be all too happy to elaborate on things. Would love to do some classic Redeemed Changeling Angst with Ocellus and have Sandbar be an absolving presence for her sometime.
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I'M SO GLAD YOU NOTICED AHH
I am head over heels in love with the idea that the characters sometimes have a vague awareness that they're in the middle of an episode
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Oh, Lernie, the only boss who I never ever died to past my second run. I have a special place in my heart for him.
Thanks for the read FoME! I'm very happy with Sandbar's little marine biology metaphor.
That’s one way to put it.
Glad I found this story. It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy.
This right here is a quality Sandy + Celly fluff piece you've written yourself, lad. You don't see a lot of these beauts anymore nowadays (least I'm aware of). Merci mon ami!
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thank YOU johne
I’m creating eighteen different alts to downvote-bomb this, because you had the perfect opportunity to reference “Ring of Fire,” and what did you pick instead? “What is Love.”
You are SO getting called out on TwimblrTok.
This was a pleasant little story. From the title and description, I was initially worried it would be one of those stories where the goofy premise and snappy dialogue are supposed to distract the audience from realizing that the characters are weird, sociopathic robots who understand what emotions are, in an abstract sense, but do not experience them.
But, no, this was really heartfelt and sweet. A nice interplay between two characters exploring what it means to love.
I’m still mad at you for not referencing Johnny Cash, though. You’re probably gonna write another story where Gallus shoots a man in Reno and call it, like.
Weird Science, or something.
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NOOOO NOT TWIMBLRTOK I'M SORRY
THAT WOULD HAVE ACTUALLY MADE A BETTER TITLE
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Thank you for the read and the kind words! I will remember to reference Johnny Cash next time I swear
Don't tempt me
Wholesome. My feelings for this fic would be a nice snack for Ocellus, too.
There is not much one on one interaction between the student in the show,especially Sandbar and Ocellus.
Thank for making this.
I came back to read this after catching up on Girl Talk and of course reading Petty Theft. I can't help but imagine these take place in continuity with each other and then squeal about how cute everyone is together interacting with each other one on one even when it's not their "favored pairing" that's set up between them all.
I love it.
Awwww
Dialogue's a bit hard to follow in some places (because they keep switching the topic they're talking about, not because of a lack of dialogue tags) but it's still very sweet and special!!